Home » Taylor Swift Is Dancing On A Strange Car On Her New Tour, What The Hell Is It?

Taylor Swift Is Dancing On A Strange Car On Her New Tour, What The Hell Is It?

Ts Car Top
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Our behind-the-scenes partner Jeff took his wife and daughter to see Taylor Swift last night, like a good dad/husband, and like a good gearhead he noticed something interesting, car-related, and sent it on to Autopian HQ for analysis. What he sent was that image you see up there, from Ms. Swift’s performance, where there is an image of a car projected onto or displayed on the surface of that big rectangular something. The question is, of course, what the hell kind of car is that? Let’s figure it out.

It seems the car-image is designed to take abuse from Taylor and her backup dancers as they whack it with glowing golf clubs, which must be in reference to this scene in the video for the song “Blank Space,” where Taylor Swift beats the crap out of a Shelby Cobra, or, far more likely, a Shelby Cobra replica:

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Here’s a still of the Cobra in question:

Ts Cobra

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Okay, so perhaps they wanted to represent the same sort of car for Taylor Swift and company to beat the crap out of; but, as you can see here, as the illusory car takes damage from those clubs, the dents nicely synthesized via the magic of, let’s say, computers:

Ts Car 2

Even with the damage, we can see the car is not a Cobra, at least not exactly. In fact, I don’t think it’s any car that actually exists at all. What I do think is that it is a composite of three different cars:

Ts Car Breakdown

Based on analyses from the new Autopian Mainframe (a Commodore Pet 4016 with one smoking capacitor) the Swift-abuse-target-simulated car seems to be pulled from three primary sources: the front clip seems to be a modified Dino 206 GT (you know the sorta-Ferrari Dino), the middle seems to be adapted from a Cobra, with modifications to the heat extraction vents and doorline and smaller side pipes, and I think the rear is from an Austin-Healey 3000. But It almost could be a Jaguar XK120, too? I’m really not sure.

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What do you think, that’s what I want to really know! I think the best way to spend the last bit of your work week is puzzling over what cars Taylor Swift’s graphics team pulled from to make this strange, abused hybrid.

If I knew jack about Taylor Swift, I’d end this with some funny reference. But I don’t. I’m an old man! Get off my ass!

[Ed note: I have a daughter, ears and a beating heart and therefore can make roughly a million Taylor Swift jokes and references (the best Speak Now track is “Mean” and the best Midnights track is “Vigilante Shit” if you’re curious). I think what you’re looking for is: Grab a list of car names with Cobra in red, underlined. You check it once, and you check it twice, and then you comment. – MH]

 

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Jakob K's Garage
Jakob K's Garage
11 months ago

Can’t she just beat up a Suzuki Swift? That would be punny
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suzuki_Swift

Vetatur Fumare
Vetatur Fumare
11 months ago

You are probably right about the AI; my first guess was Lorenz & Rankl Silver Falcon but a quick glance proves me wrong.
https://www.autobelle.it/en/a/For_sale_Silver_Falcon_based_on_MB_Technic_59056.xhtml

Doctor Nine
Doctor Nine
11 months ago

It is only appropriate that Generic Pop Star sings atop a CGI render of Generic Sports Car. Soon, Industrial MegaCorporation Music will no longer need an actual Ms. Swift, and she will be replaced. AI generated music product is so much more profitable. The only question, is whether or not pop fans, if they knew that the music was AI generated, would object to it. Or, would they suck it down harder and faster?

Brian Ash
Brian Ash
11 months ago
Reply to  Doctor Nine

AI enhanced your statement, The only question, is whether or not pop fans, if they knew that the music was AI generated and the song was about the breakup with it’s bot significant other.

Bob
Bob
11 months ago

It’s a car to which they own the copyright.

Chronometric
Chronometric
11 months ago

How many innocent sports cars must be sacrificed to the beautiful billionaire chanteuse before she gives up the powerless girl victim act?

#SwiftJustice

Ted Fort
Ted Fort
11 months ago
Reply to  Chronometric

Isn’t the entire point that she isn’t powerless?

Zorn Zornelius
Zorn Zornelius
11 months ago

LOAD””,2
(old tape gear grinding noise)
RUN

?SYNTAX ERROR

Last edited 11 months ago by Zorn Zornelius
Beached Wail
Beached Wail
11 months ago

For a minute there I thought the concert image was a real car, actual size, and I was having a Youabian Puma fever dream.

MATTinMKE
MATTinMKE
11 months ago

Back end looks more XKE than Big Healy to me, but I agree with others that it’s a fictional bit of CGI.

Joseph Kinney
Joseph Kinney
11 months ago

My first thought was the Kindig custom car(digan).

My Goat Ate My Homework
My Goat Ate My Homework
11 months ago

My guess is its AI generated. No need to worry about licensing rights or anything.

CSRoad
CSRoad
11 months ago

I think you are right AI fed a bunch of sports cars and then rework it and scale it to suit.
It’s ugly, I won’t be buying one and plan to stay away from bikini girls with golf clubs.

I’m thinking XKSS for the rear, different wheel arch of course.
Maybe inspired some of the the middle too.
For the front maybe a C3 Corvette with the chrome bumpers.

Cool Dave
Cool Dave
11 months ago

It’s like one of those not-quite-real cars in Grand Theft Auto!

Tim Cougar
Tim Cougar
11 months ago

I don’t think the rear is Austin-Healey, the bumper is wrong…

EVDesigner
EVDesigner
11 months ago

Are you trying to be the anti-hero?

Duke of Kent
Duke of Kent
11 months ago
Reply to  EVDesigner

It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem.

Tim Cougar
Tim Cougar
11 months ago

The car from the 2014 music video is indeed a fiberglass replica, made by Backdraft Racing of South Africa: http://www.imcdb.org/vehicle_756371-Shelby-Cobra-Replica-2008.html

There was even an interview on The Old Site with the car’s owner: https://jalopnik.com/meet-the-guy-who-had-his-shelby-cobra-trashed-by-taylor-1658176598

Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
11 months ago

Looks more like a Daytona front end than a Dino to my eye.

10001010
10001010
11 months ago

It’s me, Hi, I have a wife, ears and a beating heart and therefore can also make Swift references, it’s me. I need to calm down, I’m getting too loud, Patron, tweet, knockout, etc.

Utherjorge
Utherjorge
11 months ago
Reply to  10001010

there’s still time for help

10001010
10001010
11 months ago
Reply to  Utherjorge

It’s all fair I guess. I’ve been cramming Mike Patton down her earholes for almost 30 years now.

AssMatt
AssMatt
11 months ago
Reply to  10001010

GODDAMMIT I’M PISSED OFF!

Dar Khorse
Dar Khorse
11 months ago

Are you sure it isn’t one of those cool oddball South American cars? I like to imagine it was made by Bessia Motorsports and called la Puma Gigante, since it’s clearly about 150% bigger than any normal sports car (assuming Ms. Swift and her dancers are not actually 4 feet tall – not that there’s anything wrong with that…).

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
11 months ago

I think you nailed the inspiration vehicles. It’s definitely a computer- generated synthesis of familiar riffs blended to create a new seeming whole – much like both Miss Swift and her music.

LTDScott
LTDScott
11 months ago

The nose looks somewhat Opel GT-ish too

Do You Have a Moment To Talk About Renaults?
Do You Have a Moment To Talk About Renaults?
11 months ago
Reply to  LTDScott

That’s my bet on the nose. The AI engine definitely saw an Opel GT while putting together this render.

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