It was 3 am. It was a moment of weakness, wrapped in boredom, and buried in my comforter. I was sure my wife was asleep, so I rolled over and fired up my phone. I shielded the screen so that, if she were to stir, she wouldn’t see what I was doing. Then I began scrolling.
There was no specific destination in mind, but, as most of these little digital forays go, I was looking for something exotic to me. Maybe Swedish? Usually, wherever I start, it ends up Swedish. I found a few of the early generation CrossCountry Volvo wagons I liked for sale nearby on Facebook Marketplace. ‘That could be fun!’ I casually thought to myself, before moving on to stickshift trucks. Eventually, I got tired and went back to sleep.
That was about a month ago, and ever since that moment, I’ve been bombarded with reminders that what I need is a P2 generation XC70, and that I need to lift it in a very specific way. I have a car that I like, and while I’ve pondered replacing it, it’s not something I can do right now.
The algorithm doesn’t want me to love one I’m with, it wants me to love a 2007 Volvo XC70 with somewhere between 130-180k miles on it. It won’t stop.
From Facebook Marketplace To Instagram To Every Conversation
When I speak of “the algorithm,” I’m giving a name to various recommendation engines across a number of platforms. While they’re weighted to work in slightly different ways, the goal is always to produce a reaction in me that can lead to more engagement, and therefore more commerce for the platform itself.
In exchange for my attention, I can buy or sell a car through a terrible and mostly awkward process. I think anyone who uses Facebook Marketplace knows that it’s a deeply broken system (it also offered me up lactation cookies and a bandana from the scariest man I’ve ever seen in my life). It has scale, though, and over time, it learns what my deepest and darkest desires are. I just logged in and was immediately offered three Volvo wagons, a Taurus SHO, a Honda moped, and a Baja.
I’ve owned two Volvo wagons before, so I’m always at risk of having a third, but it’s mostly the RWD ones I’m into. Ideally, I want another car with a manual if I’m going to replace the car I have now. Also, I’m not trying to necessarily replace the car I have right now, but this is how brains work.
If it were just Facebook Marketplace, I think I’d be ok with it. It’s a classifieds platform, that’s the gig. But somehow, Instagram (also owned by Meta) got in on it, so this happened next:
That’s a lifted XC70, also a P2, and it now just looks right to me.
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And then this:
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That video is promoting the diesel engine available in the P2 in Europe, but not, so far as I know, offered in the United States. This is a little more recent, and it’s so on the nose that it almost hurts to look at it (although I sent it to my wife and friends):
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Damn, got me. It’s true, nobody will remember how much I made (enough) or how many hours I worked (more than enough). No, they will remember my… 18-year-old Volvo wagon I don’t even own? What’s screwed up about this is that it’s worked on me.
The Algorithm Is Tuned All Wrong
You could argue that Facebook merely unearthed a yearning I had within me, and the constant bombardment of cars for sale, reels, and posts was helping me admit to myself what I want.
Alternatively, I might argue that the Internet was supposed to be about discovery, or at least I thought that was the whole deal. What social media and “the algorithm” are doing is finding the dopamine receptors in my brain and firing them up like one of those fireworks displays gone wrong on Instagram.
The algo is now creating something a bit like The Entertainment from David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest. While that particular novel is mostly read on public transport by people hoping desperately that they’ll get asked about it and that the inquirer will be so impressed with the description of the book that they’ll jump their bones right then and there, it also has a point. Within the novel, there’s a film that’s so entertaining that it overwhelms the viewer to the point that they can no longer take care of themselves. Entertainment as an irrepressible addiction.
That’s what’s happening to me, but with old Volvos. It’s also what’s happening with HBO, Warner Bros, and Netflix. HBO is kind of an incredible place, producing shows that aren’t necessarily ones that the algorithm would think to produce. There’s The Sopranos, The Wire, and Flight of the Conchords. All shows I don’t think would end up on Netflix originally, because what Netflix does is largely make shows for the algorithm.
This doesn’t mean there’s not a place for that. Is It Cake is a TikTok and Instagram fad that’s been turned into a game show, and I still enjoy it. You can have both, I suppose, but just being told what to think and enjoy by your inner kinks doesn’t feel healthy to me.
Would you get another The Wire from the algorithm? Or would you just get 900 variations of Love Is Blind and a show called Six-Seven?
I Still Want One, Though
When I have downtime, I’ve been going on the various platforms to see what’s available. It’s not that I’m going to pull the trigger anytime soon, but now I must inform myself of the market for when that moment comes.
I did try to convince a friend who was looking for a cheap, safe car for his kid to check out this 2003 model, which has 191k miles on the clock but otherwise looks good. Perhaps I can learn something from his experience.
There’s this one on Facebook marketplace that seems to be the top of the market, due in part to its curiously low miles (too low for me, I think). Having fallen so deeply and regularly into the rabbit hole that they’ve erected a cot for me, I am mostly convinced I’m going to get a clean stock one and do the work myself.
A company called Bad Swede has a two-inch lit kit, and that seems about how much space I’d want. That, plus some wheels and A/T tires, and I could have a car that’s comfortable on the inside and unstoppable on the outside.
Why? To what true end? I don’t know. It’s just who I am now.
If I wanted to go bought-not-built, there’s a 2007 Ocean Race that’s fairly close to my aesthetic:
I do like the shimmering dark blue from the other Ocean Races a little better, but I’m not that picky. I also appreciate that this doesn’t have some obnoxious LED lights on (yet).
Obviously, I do not have a parking space for it. I do not have the excess funds I want to dedicate to it. If I want to drive a Volvo, I can always ask Volvo, and they’ll send me one. I could be putting this energy into making my own BMW better, but now I do this. This is my life now. My wife and child are sick of hearing about the low-pressure turbo inline-five and how it’s probably not a maintenance nightmare, and that people complaining are mostly thinking of the V70R…
Send help (or Volvo links).
Top graphic images: Volvo; DepositPhotos.com
“[T]hat particular novel is mostly read on public transport by people hoping desperately that they’ll get asked about it and that the inquirer will be so impressed with the description of the book that they’ll jump their bones right then and there”
That description cracked me up though I had to mute my laughter since I had two cats curled up in my lap. Maybe I should just make it a rule not to read the Autopian (especially Torchinsky’s posts) while I have cats asleep in my lap (likewise with drinking my coffee.) Yeah, while I’ve never read that novel the way Every. Single. Person that I know who has read it talks about it just makes me all the less inclined to read it, lol. That novel on someone’s bookshelf or in a subway rider’s hands always seemed sort of the literary equivalent of the Pulp Fiction movie poster in many a college dorm room…
Apropos of which, in a bit of coincidence this was posted just a while ago: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/an-oral-history-of-quentin-tarantino-as-told-to-me-by-men-ive-dated?utm_content=buffer358a5&utm_medium=social&utm_source=bufferapp.com&utm_campaign=buffer
As Pulp Fiction came out years after my college years I actually had come across the trope (if you will) of the college dorm poster in a comment that Mara Wilson, the actor best known for Matilda, Miracle on 34th Street, and Mrs Doubtfire, made about how she’d not ever seen a Quentin Tarantino film or The Fight Club but she knew the plotlines of those films from all the posters she saw in dorm rooms during her college years, lol.
Why half of the stuff I get is old French cars. LoL. I’m not a mechanic snd the nearest French car mechanic is probably over 1000 miles from me and yet the DS siren song continues to call me to crash against the reefs of finance, rationality, and reality.
The best advice I can muster is: set a low price for Volvo entry and discard all the rest. If it is low enough there will only be crap you are looking at and the algorithm will give up
Ya know, first paragraph and a half, I really thought we were going to a dark and kinky place…
I owned a P2 Volvo Wagon. It had the built-in boosters seats and even the rear-facing jump seats in the “way back”. Everything about that car was nearly perfect in the way it functioned(except no manual) and it pained me to sell it.
I recently traded my 07 P2 in. It had a bunch of things wrong with it, nothing terminal, but cumulatively more time and money than I wanted to invest. It dutifully fired right up with a jump, and the odo hit 233,000 as I turned into the dealer’s lot. I backed it into a slot toward the back of the lot, then turned to look back at it after taking the plates off, feeling sad. Seeing the trail of oil drips leading towards it to where I had parked it made me feel a little better, but I really loved driving that ca
I was in my early 30’s when I bought it with 90K miles in 2012, everyone made fun of me for my “old lady car”, but I was so excited, I absolutely LOVED it.
Every one, and I do mean every one of my friends that rode in my Volvo V70 loved it. One of my good friends has herniated disks from his time in the Marines. We rode for 5 hours on a road trip no stops. He said it was the only car he ever rode that didn’t make his back hurt. Kids love the jump seats, the built-in boosters made taking kids and adults easier with no seat to remove and stow. It was quiet, fast(turbo 5 model), and every feature of the car was competent. The auto-climate control is still one of the best I’ve ever used, ever on cars almost 20 years newer.
It is my time to shine!
I have a p2 v70 and a p3 xc70 (also an S90, have also owned a p80 v70 and a 960 wagon). I clearly have a Volvo problem.
Having said that, the P2 is a lovely car, but not without a bit of work. Everyone says the same two things, PCV and timing belt. Neither are terribly difficult for anyone who has worked on their own cars, both jobs are just nuts and bolts, no fancy tools needed (I shoved a rag between the timing gears and just made sure the timing marks lined up when I was done, worked perfectly). However, the P2s are a bit finicky, especially as they age; most of them have perpetual check engine lights, mine is no different. The Aisin aw55-50sn transmission is a known problem; there was a fix to replace a solenoid cap that was supposed to help, but that only covered one condition. The shift solenoids in the valve body were also kind of a sore spot. Mine broke under duress and I swapped in a junkyard AT. Beware.
The T5 turbo setup is nice, it makes good power and a fun sound, but it has a lot of little gremlins lurking. As they age, lots of places for a post-MAF air leak that will set off the check engine light. I had to buy a smoke tester before I found all of my leaks. It’s not impossible, but it is a pain in the ass. The turbo itself is a Mitsubishi and will probably outlive the car if the oil has been regularly changed. It will probably need a turbo control valve (easy) at one point, maybe a wastegate actuator (less easy). If you ever need to remove the turbo manifold, take your damn time, those bolts have been well-hardened over the years and become brittle. I broke them off in the turbo manifold; I used a welder to get one out by welding a nut to it, but the other two weren’t having it. Had to send it to a machine shop for extraction. No, you’re not drilling those things, they’re like rocks.
If you take anything apart with a copper crush washer and don’t replace with new, it WILL leak oil. Don’t waste time buying them one at a time from FCP Euro. Just buy a big box of ’em from Amazon or something, you’ll drop at least three or four before you get them on the banjo bolts. Smear of grease helps tack them into place, reduces cursing.
The early Haldex systems were more for snow driving than offroad, I wouldn’t expect much in the way of proper offroad driving. Also, even lifted, the exhaust and plastic engine tray will not last long if anything touches them. That rear o2 sensor has almost nothing protecting it.
In all reality, while I think the p2 is more handsome than the p3, the p3 is superior in every way that matters. People that rag on the 3.2 SI6 are just full of hot air. No, it’s not as potent at something like a VQ engine, but I’ve never felt that it was underpowered as long as you’re willing to get on it. Also, despite being a weirdo transverse i6, it makes a nice snarl when you work it over. The p2s ride HARD and will never let you forget it. The p3 is so much more gentle riding, giant fat sidewall tires on little donut rims and soft suspension make for such a pleasant motoring experience.
I don’t blame anyone for wanting a p2 wagon, but I think that’s only because they’ve not driven a p3. Then there is the T6 P3 that people rightfully lust over. Either way, get a copy of VIDA and get good at using it, you’ll need it.
Spot on! Ive owned 8 p2’s (its a sickness, im aware), and this run down is well advised. While these cars dont really rust (like, at all, its awesome) Just don’t forget to inspect front control arms and ball joints, replace crumbling wire loom with new, keep regular tabs on rubber parts (seals, mounts, hoses etc) as even low milage rubber will age out at this point, keep good oil in it and check the level weekly.
Stuff will break, but there’s still plenty of good used spares out there. Make yourself familiar with who the usual aftermarket suspects (iPD, FCP, etc.) are and keep an eye out for when certain replacement parts will stop being made – these cars are solidly in that era being over 20 years old after all. Both of my p2’s have 300k, and one is getting refreshed for its next 100k. My kiddo even wants to help with the project so that he can drive the manual transmission high pressure turbo brick he grew up with. I’d like to think this is a parenting win. Sweet Swedish dreams, Matt!
Ok, eight p2s is wild. Either you’re a genius or you’re a total nutcase. I could not imagine having more of these things. I’m pretty sure this one is trying to slowly kill me.
Well, except for the one time that it had an issue on the the road, I pulled over and popped the hood to look. Hood strut chose THAT moment to fail and dropped the hood on the back of my head. I think my grandchildren heard the cursing from the road. I don’t have any grandchildren yet. That’s how much cursing took place.
The rest of the time, it’s death by a million paper cuts. Ignition coil here, rattling exhaust there, bad o2 sensor, bad knock sensors (behind the PCV of course), spent tons of time fixing it, finally get it back on the road, immediately run over a screw in the driveway, didn’t even get out to the road. Fix the tire, battery died the next week.
Either it hates me or it just wants to die. Either way, it only has 145k and it owes me, so I’m going to keep fixing it and running it. If nothing else, as a punishment for dropping the hood on me.
Ha! the volvo sickness probably has the end effect of degrading a semi-sane carnut (is that a thing?) to that of a nutcase, lol.
I mostly fell in love w/ the p2’s because they were actually …(checking memory bank)… quite reliable for us. And they look real good in a classic, almost anonymous kinda way. We put about 25-35k/year on two cars, and these things just go and go and go forever it seems. Operational costs arent Camry low, but averaged out over the mileage makes any repair pain more manageable, or so i’ve convinced myself as i wrench in the driveway! We also prefer how they NEVER let us down, even when actively breaking down far from home, they still get us back to home base! And the extra comfy/supportive seats allow one to feel fresh and not sore after a cross country trip. That’s a big deal for us, we spend a lot of time in those seats! Worth every penny when we wind out that 2.3L T5M’s peaky power delivery!
I also have little time to learn a new chassis and i love a manual large wagon. Familiarity breeds confidence and reduces stress in my case.
According to a recent re-run, there used to be a feature on the Car Talk website called the “Car-o-scope”, a quiz type thing that was supposed to match you to the ideal car. I think maybe someone needs to revisit that. Just to prevent AI and shadowy algorithms dominating the space. Well…ones that aren’t *ours*, anyway…
I still occasionally toy with the idea of a 240DL wagon, as friends of mine drove a few of them all through high school and college.
Volvos are just God’s way of saying she loves us and wants us to be happy.
Matt can you please get one so I can read about how it was a bad idea and then I don’t need to buy one myself. I rode in my friend’s volvos as a kid and it left very strong, lasting impressions. They also had a Mercedes 190E. They had more money and taste than we did with our 1986 Buick Century T-Type household.
I’ve toyed with the idea, but they are all old and high mileage now and I worry about service costs. Finally, I wish they came in a manual transmission here in the states. It seems that there are people who keep them going, but I don’t know if I have the patience for replacing lots of parts all the time. Maybe my research was incorrect?
I should probably restore a First Gen Tacoma, manual, extended cab and be happy with that.
Can confirm the engine longevity, a family member had an S80 with the same one which made it to around 550k km before every single rubber seal in the engine started disintegrating.
Anecdotal agreement from my side: 420.000 km on our current one, and no sign of stopping.
I’m convinced these can easily get to 1 million km, given proper care. These cast block soot-spitters can outlast almost anything, maybe asides from some EVs (plenty of evidence now of super high mileage battery packs from Tesla, irrespective of my personal feelings about that brand).
All Hail the Algorithm
#UnexpectedSuperFastMatt
Well, now that you’ve written this article and I’m commenting on it, Al Gore rhythm is going to shove old Volvos in my face too. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I don’t even use Marketplace.
> While that particular novel is mostly read on public transport by people hoping desperately that they’ll get asked about it and that the inquirer will be so impressed with the description of the book that they’ll jump their bones right then and there
That’s not fair to the book. It’s a superlative work of modern american fiction and one of the greatest novels of the 20th century. It’s the dark green Volvo 850 wagon of fiction.
If you want a p2 at all, you want a late one – post ’05.
Early ones had the AW55-50 trans, which means you’ll definitely be paying for transmission work.
I can attest to the fact that they had problems all the way through 06. Mine failed. They’re just not awesome in this application.
That means that a turbocharged manual AWD longroof spaceball wagon is calling to you from somewhere through the algorithm.
You should totally buy that Helix.
My algorithm has been showing me exclusively scooters, GM trucks, and Chevy Prism/Toyota Corollas.
Yeah, it might have me figured out
I’ll-go-Rythym
I don’t have rhythm. I do have two Honda.
I respect it. Volvo XCs are good at what they do. I was down on them (back when I’d only own RWD Volvo wagons) then drove one through some absolutely miserable weather and was impressed. Smitten, even, with the joys of OBDII, and airbags, and SIPS, and available part supplies, and so on
I’m now on my third XC. I’d still be on the first, but I had a chance to get one with the Yamaha V8 and couldn’t say no, so the first (with that lovely 5-cylinder) was replaced, so an incremental move from a 2006 to the 2007. Then another came available earlier this year, and it launched me into the “scary” realm of backup cameras, Bluetooth, adaptive cruise control, and all sorts of other snazzy electronics I didn’t need but am enjoying having. So now I have two XCs to my name, which is nice.
two words:
haldex
service
trust me you don’t want one of these, unless you were buying it new in ’07.
The more desirable inline 5 volvos for enthusiasts are the FWD ones. The S/V60R is the only exception. Volvo’s AWD is much harder to work on and so many people just end up letting it break and just running it as a FWD car with 500 extra pounds of dead weight.
There are frequent issues with the “angle gear” aka transfer case and what misery it is to pull it apart. As noted, there are a lot of FWD XCs out there because of this.
I rebuilt an angle gear a couple years ago on a v70r to seal up a leak. The case sealant goes on these with time, and once the ring gear stops making gear oil go splishy-splashy, the splash lubed rear pinion bearing is on borrowed time. i have an xc90 that is now front wheel drive. Easier to just pull the angle gear/xfer case, and frankly, just fwd is fine, and we live in snowy upstate NY. IIRC, just remember to leave the collar sleeve in place, as it retains the transmission seal for the right front driveshaft (i think). plus the collar sleeve can be a rotten PITA to remove.
Max Hardigraw forgot to clear his browser history before you popped on.
I WANT ONE TOO!
It might have cross-referenced your Spotify age.
I had the same thing happen but with V8 XC90s after watching a few (dozen) YouTube clips.
That was months ago but FB Marketplace keeps recommending them to me.
The 4.4L does sound amazing with an opened up exhaust though…
Oh man, I have also gone down this road.
Reliable runner up to ponder: AWD Dodge Magnum 5.7 V8.
They already sit up higher than the 2wd and can go up another inch or 2 with one of the many lift kits offered for these that often were installed for some crazy 28” rims.
Factory 18”s with some chunky tires, roof rack, push bar with lights, and of course open up that exhaust.. could be cool Matt
That would probably sound a lot better.
Yeah, but the downside of that is that you have to put up with DaimlerChrysler-era engineering and fitment.
I dated someone until about a year ago whose daily was a 2005 Magnum RT (albeit RWD). The POS was falling apart. Some of it, like the failed backlighting on the climate controls, was easily remedied, but it’s hard to fix a dashboard that’s warped and painted exterior pieces that are falling off the vehicle faster than you can replace them. I christened it a piece of shit with a remarkable powertrain.
Yeah they have their issues, all fixable, just annoying. I suppose the newest of these is approaching 20 yrs old.
A warped dash- yikes. Can’t say I’ve seen that but I believe it.
Pretty unique car however with AWD, NA Hemi, wagon.
The algorithm is close, but instead of an XC70 you want a V70R.
It makes sense.
I only wish the algorithm would focus on Volvo wagons. You’re one of the lucky ones.
My dad had one of these P2s for a while, and while it was… expensive to maintain, it was a truly excellent car otherwise. I don’t think I’ve sat in anything more comfortable since. As a wagon, it is pure form factor bliss. Everything fits into this thing.
There’s no shame in giving into the algorithm, selling your CR-V Hybrid (nearly fell asleep just typing it) and living the V70 life like a golden God.
My BIL has one with that dog of a transverse 3.2. I couldn’t care less for how it drives, but by GOD is it HUMONGOUS. You can throw anything at it. Sound, speed and fuel economy are totally ok on the highway, dismal in the city.