Home » The Bonkers Special Edition Cadillac Designed By Fashion Icon Pierre Cardin Has Something In It I Can’t Identify

The Bonkers Special Edition Cadillac Designed By Fashion Icon Pierre Cardin Has Something In It I Can’t Identify

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You’ve heard of Pierre Cardin, haven’t you? Of course you have. The man was a fashion icon, and there’s no way you didn’t notice the fantastic flight attendant uniforms he made for Pakistan International Airlines in 1966, because you’re not some heathen animal. Did you know that Pierre dabbled in automobiles, too? He did, with special edition cars for AMC, a one-off Sbarro Stash, and the car I want to talk about today, the Cadillac Eldorado Evolution by Pierre Cardin.

The 1981 Cadillac Eldorado Evolution by Pierre Cardin (I’m going to shorten that to something, if I have to type that out every time I’ll pee myself in rage) was about three times the cost of a normal Eldorado at $58,000 (that’s over $200 grand today!) and was pretty significantly modified from a standard Eldo.

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The Cardin Caddy (there, see, I knew I’d come up with a shorter name) took the regular, FWD Eldorado and crammed it absolutely full of luxury:

Cardin 1

Look at that list there: lambswool carpets, a VCR (under the dash) and TV (in the rear), a wet bar with Waterford crystal and a pewter flask, 22 karat gold accents, 30 coats of lacquer, some ads not a fridge (which may be in the trunk?), and that’s not even talking about the significant body changes, like the full-width horizontal taillight replacing the vertical units of the Eldo, and a massive add-on nose with grille-covered headlamps.

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Here, look at this thing next to a normal, plebian Eldorado:

Eldo Comparo

Look at those side mirrors! Hot salad, this thing is bonkers. Of course, it also had GM’s legendarily lousy 8-6-4 engine, so not everything was lambswool and Waterford. But, this thing was still a remarkably grand study in opulence.

Cardin 2

For a two-door car, a lot of that luxury was shoveled into the rear seat, because I guess you’d still expect to be driven around even in a coupé? The rear armrest seemed to house the wet bar accouterments, and even though you had to shove in your VHS copy of An American Warewolf in London in front (because the VCR is under the dash) the color television itself is between the front seats, for the rear seat passengers.

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The Cardin Caddy also seems to include something that is driving me absolutely crazy, because I can’t figure out what it is:

Thething

Okay, so that’s a little Sony Trinitron TV there, and then in front of it is a glossy black panel that, when you push down on one end, pops up to give you access to … whatever that thing is?

What is that thing? It’s shaped sort of like an extruded, bold number 1, and has six black, unlabeled buttons on it, in a vertical row down the left side. The buttons seem to be the type where, when pushed, they stay in the down position, possibly until another button is pressed, which then pops up the original. I think.

Thing Logo

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I think the logo there may say “TELCO”? Could this be some sort of telecom equipment? It doesn’t appear to be any sort of car phone or anything? There aren’t enough buttons to dial, and there aren’t any grilles for speakers or microphones.

Is it somehow related to the TV or VCR? The TV’s controls are on the set itself, and while I suppose it could be a strange remote for the VCR, why not label the buttons? And it seems too big and ungainly for that.

Is it a drink dispenser of some kind? Do the buttons select one of the bottles stored in the in-trunk cooler/refrigerator? If it is a drink dispenser, wouldn’t you want some sort of drain in there, somewhere?

Maybe that’s it?

Anyway, I welcome your speculations, because I’m kind of baffled here. If it is a drink dispenser, I’d love to see how it’s actually used. If not, someone, please, tell me, what the hell is it? My local Cadillac dealer says “they don’t know anything about this car” and “please stop calling us” and “if you don’t leave the premises we’ll be forced to call the police” and all that bullshit.

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Let’s figure this out.

 

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Who is the Leader
Who is the Leader
15 days ago

That looks exactly like the climate control buttons in my Mercedes 300D, just without any labels. Presumably, at one time they were labeled. I can’t see how it could be anything other than rear climate control

Jakob K's Garage
Jakob K's Garage
15 days ago

It had a longer front overhang than a Ferrari Testarossa! And though expensive didn’t cost as much. What a bargain!
(Everybody knows overhangs are the signs of true extravagance. One of the reasons I loved my 1985 Citroën CX GTi )

Speaking of overhangs, I have always liked the vertical lines of Cadillacs of the time, showing where the car ends and the extensions start. Just seems so honest 🙂

Last edited 15 days ago by Jakob K's Garage
Hugh Crawford
Hugh Crawford
15 days ago

Back massage
Legal counsel
Oil slick
Machine guns
Trunk monkey
Reserved for flying car option

I think that fills them out.

Aaron Slater
Aaron Slater
15 days ago
Reply to  Hugh Crawford

+1 for Trunk Monkey

OSpazX
OSpazX
15 days ago
Reply to  Hugh Crawford

Correction – that final one is not “reserved” for something silly.

When you press it, the license plate spins around, ala Mr Bond.

Droid
Droid
15 days ago

1981?
it’s gotta be a cocaine dispenser.
how many lines you want? 1? 6?

The Mark
The Mark
15 days ago

“please stop calling us” and “if you don’t leave the premises we’ll be forced to call the police”

LOLOLOL

Freddy Bartholomew
Freddy Bartholomew
14 days ago
Reply to  The Mark

Any Caddy dealer around these parts (Silicon Valley) would be happy just to see a warm body. Probably wouldn’t let you leave.

1978fiatspyderfan
1978fiatspyderfan
15 days ago

Well lousy side picture but I would guess an 8 track tape player. The different buttons let you skip to each different track just like this but buttons on the bottom.

Vic Vinegar
Vic Vinegar
15 days ago

I love it. $200k to have a TV/VCR and drink dispenser….in the back of a coupe.

I was going to say “just buy a Rolls Royce”, but apparently this was a deal compared to the Roller in 1981. Car and Driver tested one that stickered for $109k.

https://www.caranddriver.com/reviews/a33971952/tested-1981-rolls-royce-silver-spirit-archive-luxury/.

Jonathan Hendry
Jonathan Hendry
15 days ago

I think it’s a radio and those are the preset buttons.

Dale Mitchell
Dale Mitchell
15 days ago

About the right size and shape for a stock market ticker tape machine.

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
15 days ago

This is a case where the sketch doesn’t quite match up with reality, seems sleeker and more modern in the rendering, but more like a gawky kit car in reality

Also, maybe this was a thing back then, Elvis’ last new car purchase before he died was an Eldorado fitted with a bar and TV in the back seat, which I assume meant he intended to be chaffeured in that as well, though there’s no records he actually ever used it before death (was stored in Colorado for use on vacations). His was, of course, the big boy model before the 1979 downsizing, but I don’t think they actually had much more interior room, if at all.

Do You Have a Moment To Talk About Renaults?
Do You Have a Moment To Talk About Renaults?
15 days ago
Reply to  Ranwhenparked

Yeah, I was very much on board with the renderings, but then an actual photo appeared and it’s so deeply underwhelming. That shade of blue also isn’t helping – which is actually amazing considering I really like blue cars.

Vee
Vee
14 days ago
Reply to  Ranwhenparked

The front is much less tall in the rendering done in pencils. The main thing is that the hood slopes down further and the front rises up from the wheel arch to the front bumper. In the actual real life car it seems they kept the original front fenders and bumper and kept the original headlights, just putting them behind flip-up gates. They really only stuck a polyurethane extension onto what I’m pretty sure is the stock front surround. There’s not an ounce of modified sheet metal on it. That’s the laziest job they could’ve done.

TXJeepGuy
TXJeepGuy
15 days ago

Also I had no idea the mall pizza place made cars

TXJeepGuy
TXJeepGuy
15 days ago

I was thinking drink dispenser

Adrian Clarke
Adrian Clarke
15 days ago

Man alive that front overhang.

Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
15 days ago
Reply to  Adrian Clarke

Have you seen the cologne bottle? This was a man who knew Phallic.

James Mason
James Mason
15 days ago

It’s a Thomas Electronic Corp (TEC) PERM-A-PUB! Here’s a shot of the interior of one of the Tangerine Nazi Lover’s old limos. You see the same buttons, logo, etc

Last edited 15 days ago by James Mason
C Mack
C Mack
15 days ago
Reply to  James Mason

yep – appears it had little glass bottles of booze (with plastic tubing to that contraption) in it where you could push one of the buttons and get the party started

Black Peter
Black Peter
15 days ago
Reply to  C Mack

These bottles? I found the listing Torch got the photos from.

https://safrocars.com/sold-vehicle/1981-cadillac-pierre-cardin/

Not exactly roomy back there…

https://safrocars.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/81-Pierre-8.jpg

I’m thinking you pop in some steamy Cinimax movie, hop in the back seat with you date, have a few drinks and see where things go. There’s precious little room back there for an adult, much less a captain of industry being drive to the latest board meeting

Dale Mitchell
Dale Mitchell
15 days ago
Reply to  Black Peter

You see, old boy, I have my racehorse jockey as a chauffer; with the driver seat moved forward thusly, yards of legroom abound.

Black Peter
Black Peter
15 days ago
Reply to  Dale Mitchell

genuine chuckle

Black Peter
Black Peter
15 days ago
Reply to  James Mason

 If it is a drink dispenser, wouldn’t you want some sort of drain in there, somewhere?

Young man, if you pour a glass of scotch you drink the glass of scotch!!

Charles Christine
Charles Christine
15 days ago
Reply to  Black Peter

You don’t buy scotch, you only rent it.

So, you do need a place to return it after you are done.

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
15 days ago

That’s what the empty scotch bottle is for. Or, your personal assistant’s briefcase, whichever is easier to access

OSpazX
OSpazX
15 days ago
Reply to  Ranwhenparked

My assistant only holds the Gatorade bottle for me. I fills it.

Hangover Grenade
Hangover Grenade
15 days ago
Reply to  OSpazX

Have you ever relieved yourself into an empty Dunkin Donuts iced coffee bottle while driving on the interstate outside of Orlando, FL because you couldn’t stop or risk missing your flight? If you haven’t, I.. cannot recommend it.

Maymar
Maymar
15 days ago
Reply to  James Mason

As well, it looks like the company still exists and has a few pictures of an identical unit on their website.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT6iD2cj_Fpp-GtsFHyTsItR7ygosiTlNS1fg&s

Col Lingus
Col Lingus
15 days ago
Reply to  James Mason

Tangerine Nazi lover, well said.
A tiny wang seems to be a thing with despots and dictators.

Now let us kneel and pray.
Nov 5 comes fastly, and bigly, and the ramifications are weighing bigly.

Not sure which foreign country to escape to should things go bad.

Alaska or Puerto Rico? Decisions, decisions.
I wonder if I can buy one of these drink dispenser things somewhere?

Matt Sexton
Matt Sexton
15 days ago
Reply to  Col Lingus

Hate to break it to you about Alaska and Puerto Rico there…

Col Lingus
Col Lingus
15 days ago
Reply to  Matt Sexton

Should have indicated the sarcasm once again.
lol.

But 45 says PR is a giant shit hole. Whilst tossing paper towels.

Last edited 15 days ago by Col Lingus
Matt Sexton
Matt Sexton
15 days ago
Reply to  Col Lingus

Ha, it was sarcasm back at ya.

I’ve been to PR a couple times, loved it, and know people who live there. It’s just stupid to me how many folks don’t realize it’s part of the U.S. The lack of effort he made to help out his own citizens there after the hurricane was maddening. The place has yet to fully recover.

1978fiatspyderfan
1978fiatspyderfan
15 days ago
Reply to  Col Lingus

I assume you are joking as Alaska and Puerto Rico are American territories and both are leaning far for Trump.

Col Lingus
Col Lingus
15 days ago

see above comment re: sarcasm.

Hugh Crawford
Hugh Crawford
15 days ago

Residents of Puerto Rico and other U.S. territories do not have voting representation in the United States Congress, and are not entitled to electoral votes for president.
Alaska is a state, with a weird mix of socialist and libertarian features.

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
15 days ago

Neither is a territory, Alaska is a fully integrated member state of the United States, and Puerto Rico is a semi-autonomous internally self-governing commonwealth

Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
15 days ago
Reply to  James Mason

Ding ding ding! You are the winner. Here’s a page with an exact match: Linky

There are no lights in the pics Jason found, but if there were, you’d be able to see that the buttons light up and there’s a place for a glass behind the panel. If the picture had been taken from the passenger side, it might be more obvious.

VS 57
VS 57
15 days ago
Reply to  James Mason

Could you type this with the accent of the great actor?

1978fiatspyderfan
1978fiatspyderfan
15 days ago
Reply to  James Mason

No the buttons are on the side of the caddy unit.

Banana Stand Money
Banana Stand Money
14 days ago
Reply to  James Mason

As seen in action here.

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
15 days ago

Personally, I’ve never made it past the backseat center armrest drinks cooler.

Boulevard_Yachtsman
Boulevard_Yachtsman
15 days ago

The 1981 Cadillac Eldorado Evolution by Pierre Cardin (I’m going to shorten that to something, if I have to type that out every time I’ll pee myself in rage)

Your abbreviation is right there in your own text: Pierre’s Eldorado Evolution.

Also, love the unholy Eldorado/Lagonda lovechild vibes I’m getting from this thing.

Rollin Hand
Rollin Hand
15 days ago

Eldogonda?
Lagondorado?
Elgondorada?
Lagondarrhea?

Boulevard_Yachtsman
Boulevard_Yachtsman
15 days ago
Reply to  Rollin Hand

Assterado Lagondillac

1978fiatspyderfan
1978fiatspyderfan
15 days ago

Bad abbreviation. For the Pierre El Dorado Evolution just say PEE

Urban Runabout
Urban Runabout
15 days ago

Oh – it’s the PEEmobile!
I wonder how many Russian hookers you can fit in there?

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
15 days ago

Radio station presets?

Or VCR controls. Goes in this order:
[ ] Play
[ ] Pause
[ ] Fast forward
[ ] Rewind
[ ] Eject (tape)
[ ] Eject (seat, front passenger)

Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
15 days ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

That’s a big box for just remote buttons.

Martin Ibert
Martin Ibert
15 days ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

And fast forward refers to the car, of course.

Drive By Commenter
Drive By Commenter
15 days ago

Man, the amount of cocaine done in the 1980’s was insane. This is clearly a cocaine dispenser. Glossy glass table included.

1978fiatspyderfan
1978fiatspyderfan
15 days ago

So wrong! As an observer during that time period here are the reasons you are wrong:
1. No place to store your $100 dollar bill. In those days you always snorted with $100.
2. You did not have 8 different settings for the amount of cocaine. You snorted it all. Only 1 button needed.
3. Not enough room for a hooker. To show off your wealth you always snorted your blow off ???? a hooker’s stomach with a $100 bill.
4. No room for the dead hooker.
I defy anyone from that era to prove I am wrong.

Drive By Commenter
Drive By Commenter
15 days ago

The $100 was stored in the inside suit jacket pocket. There’s buttons because being a little high for the board meeting is fine but being wasted is tacky. There’s a second seat for the lady friend. That passenger seat also moves forward for additional room. And, we all know what the trunk is for on a car like this. Just drop it off at the upholstery shop Monday morning and it’ll be pristine by the end of the day.

For all of you who will run across this in 20 years, here’s the snark tag. /s

Last edited 15 days ago by Drive By Commenter
Do You Have a Moment To Talk About Renaults?
Do You Have a Moment To Talk About Renaults?
15 days ago

Yup, this right here about sums it up, it could never be a cocaine dispenser with 8 buttons when 1 was clearly the exact number of buttons needed for that.

OSpazX
OSpazX
15 days ago

The extension to the front end is actually an early “Frunk”, which was designed to hold exactly 1 (one) dead hooker.

Luxobarge
Luxobarge
15 days ago

Maybe it’s a placeholder for an early carphone that they didn’t end up installing? The shape resembles this 1970s Siemens car phone. And the contemporaneous pre-cellular Mobile Telephone Service was operator-assisted, which would have negated the need for a dial.

Hotdoughnutsnow
Hotdoughnutsnow
15 days ago

8-Track controller?

Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
15 days ago

Only six buttons, not eight. Also, ’81, not ’71.

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
15 days ago
Reply to  Crank Shaft

It is an automatic drinks dispenser, but Cadillac did offer 8-track players into the 1983 model year – Lincoln did until 1984 – though, in both cases, it was using up existing inventory with no guarantee on continued availability

Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
15 days ago
Reply to  Ranwhenparked

Wow. The malaise era was weird indeed. Now I want to know when the last factory record player was installed. I know van customizers were still installing them in the eighties.

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
15 days ago
Reply to  Crank Shaft

The last factory, or factory-sanctioned dealer installed, record player was 1961, but they were always very uncommon and never quite got beyond expensive novelty status.

The last cassette decks were in fleet model 2012 Town Cars, with consumer availability ending with Lexus in 2010

Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
15 days ago
Reply to  Ranwhenparked

Thanks! 🙂

You seem to still be running quite well.

1978fiatspyderfan
1978fiatspyderfan
15 days ago
Reply to  Crank Shaft

You can still get them

Anoos
Anoos
15 days ago
Reply to  Crank Shaft

8 tracks only had 4 selectable music tracks (each with left / right). They only ran in one direction, so you just got 1/2/3/4/Eject. Now there’s one button too many.

Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
15 days ago
Reply to  Anoos

Right. 2×4=8. Duh-me.

1978fiatspyderfan
1978fiatspyderfan
15 days ago
Reply to  Anoos

Please be kind and rewind. Or tape in case you are giving your secretary a different kind of dictation. These buttons look like what you had with a tape recorder

Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
15 days ago

Cassette Changer/Auto-loader.

John Beef
John Beef
15 days ago

This is one of the dumbest cars I have ever seen.

James Mason
James Mason
15 days ago

Pushing the buttons would fax, “YOU’RE FIRED” to one of six preselected candidates.

Michael Beranek
Michael Beranek
15 days ago

I have a Sbarro Stash at home, but the pepperoni is starting to reek.

Anoos
Anoos
15 days ago

Sbarro still exists in some form. I know I ahve seen them in travel plazas or airports long after they were gone from malls.

I just checked and there are 2 MA locations, one at the airport and the other is actually still in a mall.

Urban Runabout
Urban Runabout
15 days ago
Reply to  Anoos

There’s also one at Union Station in DC

Michael Beranek
Michael Beranek
15 days ago
Reply to  Anoos

I ate at the one in Union Station in Chicago. Really good New York style.

1978fiatspyderfan
1978fiatspyderfan
15 days ago

Don’t get me started on how pepperoni is the worst pizza topping ever. Well until pineapple.

Michael Beranek
Michael Beranek
15 days ago

I prefer sausage, but pep worked better in this context.

OSpazX
OSpazX
15 days ago

DOWN VOTE DOWN VOTE DOWN VOTE

Pineapple is the BEST pizza topping.

However, if you were somewhere, oh, let’s say prison, where your meal is consumed anally, I would much rather pepperoni than a pineapple.

Just sying.

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