What happens when an obsessed car enthusiast who was convinced he’d die alone meets the girl of his dreams, gets married, and has a child? Well, he finds himself both overjoyed and in a bit of a predicament, with far too many cars that…kind of don’t work for his lifestyle anymore. Why am I speaking in the third person? I have no idea, but I got zero sleep last night, so please bear with me as I talk about my current automotive dilemma now that most of my cars no longer work as daily transportation.
Over the past few weeks since welcoming my child, Delmar (not his real name), I have been driving around almost exclusively in my wife’s Lexus RX350.
Look, I’ve reviewed her 2017 RX350, and it is truly one of the best crossover SUVs money can buy — it rides great, it’s powerful, it’s spacious, it’s reliable, and on and on. But while it’s an impressive machine for how well it performs its intended function, it doesn’t exactly stir my soul. OK, I’ll say it: It’s a bit boring, and I’m starting to go crazy.
Obviously, complaining about driving a luxury SUV is very much a first-world-problem, but you know what I mean here. I’m a car-nut who is used to daily drive a 1965 Plymouth Valiant, a 1976 Postal Jeep, a 1992 Jeep XJ, a 1948 Willys CJ-2A, more recently a BMW i3S, and on and on. To go to a literally-beige Lexus crossover is a bit soul-crushing.
Anyway, I think it might make sense to go through my current collection of cars and evaluate their utility now that everything has changed for me and “my life is over” (as the young folks say).
1985 Jeep J10, 1989 Chevy K1500 Silverado
Let’s hop right into my biggest dilemma at the moment. I own two pickup trucks, and I cannot justify that, so I need to whittle it down to one.
On one hand, I have my 1985 Jeep J10, which has always been my dream truck. On the other hand, I bought a 1989 Chevy K1500 on a bit of a whim back in January because it was such a good deal, and you know what? It’s actually a great pickup. I think I’m comfortable saying that it’s much better than the J10, objectively speaking.
But that J10 purchase was never really a rational buy. I picked it up a decade ago because I think it looks badass, and also: It’s a bit of a relic of a bygone era. It’s got a carburetor, manual locking hubs, a true bench seat, a four-speed on the floor, a stamped tailgate, and a regular cab layout with an eight-foot bed. It is a truck’s truck.
The K1500 doesn’t have a carb, manual locking hubs, a stamped tailgate, or a regular cab, and its bed is only 6.5 feet long. But man is it a great daily driver; it rides like a cloud, its throttle body-injected 350 V8 fires up and generally runs quite smoothly, offering good power. And, crucially, it has two rows of seats.
That’s my concern with my J10: With only a single row of seats, does it really make sense to keep? I mean, I get that I don’t need space for my whole family in my daily commuter, since I’ll be driving to work alone, but the J10 isn’t my commuter — it’s my classic weekend cruiser and Home Depot runner. And for that, is it realistic that I’ll be just driving around all by myself without my wife and kid?
Should I keep the Chevy so I can take them with me, even though the J10 is clearly the cooler truck? I don’t have the answer.
[Editor’s Note: I guess we’re not talking about this? I’d have thought that could make this choice easier, but what do I know? – JT]
BMW i3S
The two daily drivers in our household are the Lexus and the BMW i3S, and that may make you wonder: “Why not just drive your beloved i3S instead of the Lexus?” It’s a fair question, especially given that the i3S is actually quite a safe car, having scored excellent marks in IIHS crash testing.
The issue is that the i3S is really not the most ideal family car. The big thing is that the infant car seat only just fits, and what’s more, getting the child in and out of that seat — especially when parked next to another car — is a huge pain in the ass. You end up getting stuck in this weird space between the rear door and the front door that needs to be open to release the rear door.
The overall interior volume isn’t bad — the entire continent of Europe has raised families in much smaller cars — but relative to the Lexus, the i3 is a pain in the Arsch for loading/unloading a baby.
I still plan to keep my i3, because I’m hoping once that seat becomes front-facing, it’ll be easier to install/remove young Delmar; plus, the i3 is the ideal one-person LA commuter. But there is part of me that wonders whether I should make sure all my cars can easily fit the whole family, or if it’s OK to have one or two that don’t.
Growing up, my dad had a 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee as his commuter, and it only seats five, while there were eight in our family. We had a Chevy Astro as well, so I think having one car that easily fits everyone and one that doesn’t is OK. And again, once that seat can flip around, maybe it’s fine.
[Editor’s Note: Personally, I think an i3 is a completely fine baby car. Well, the getting-trapped-in-the-doors thing sounds annoying, but I took my kid all over the place in my ’73 Beetle, and it had half as many doors! An i3 is many orders of magnitude better than that, especially safety-wise. But the Beetle wins for helping to keep your baby smelling like gasoline, oil, and horsehair. – JT]
Jeep YJ, Ford Mustang
So we’ve talked about the trucks and the daily-driver, but what about my classic cars that are a bit less utilitarian — my Sunday cruisers? To me, the fact that these can fit a child (once he’s older) means they’re in the clear. No, I can’t drive these far on the freeway like I used to, because they’re not safe, but if baby-Delmar wants to cruise around town in the YJ old Mustang, I bet he’d love it! (My old CJ-3B will hopefully have found a new home by then).
I don’t really see any issue with keeping ’round-town classics that can fit a family. It’s just the J10 that has me worried, because there’s no second row. [Editor’s Note: It’s a bench seat in the J10! We’ve had three people in there before! I was even in the middle! Elise (NHRN) and Delmar (NHRN) could all cram in there! Just you know, it’s maybe not the safest.– JT]
Jeep Grand Cherokee ZJ 5-Speed, Diesel Manual Chrysler Voyager
There are two vehicle that I’m a little worried about, because they’re not really ’round-town-cruisers; their best trait is that they’re great road-trippers. Do I think it would be loads of fun to drive 35 mph in a 1994 Jeep Grand Cherokee five-speed or a diesel manual Chrysler Voyager? Not really.
At least with the Mustang you get a nice sounding V8 and a totally different driving experience than you’re used to, and with the YJ you get open-top fun. But the ZJ and minivan? They’re great on the open road, or in the case of the ZJ, overlanding off-road.
I’d love to keep them both, because they’re amazing machines, but if I can’t regularly drive them with my family on the freeway, I’m not sure how useful they’ll be.
Then again, how much of car collecting is really about usefulness. I mean, none of this is rational; should I even be trying to rationalize it? Yes, yes I should. I’m a family man now and I have responsibilities. Frivolities need to be curbed! Right?
[Editor’s Note: I disagree with that above sentiment entirely. Some people love to tell new parents that kind of thing (I think they just get a perverse pleasure at seeing new parents’ faces go ashen when they get told they’ll never have fun again) , and I suspect David has heard it plenty. But it’s bullshit. You don’t need to curb frivolity, automotive or otherwise. You just need to involve the kid in it, because they’ll love it. There’s no right way to be a parent, and every kid is different, but I’d counsel, as a fellow dad, to keep the cars he likes, because a happy parent is a good parent. – JT]
I get the safety thing, and I had it strong when my kids were younger, but around town is much more dangerous than highway driving, per mile. Would you want to be t-boned in your Mustang at any speed?
The i3 is fine, and will get much less inconvenient in just a couple of years.
Babies are expensive. Keep the i3 and one truck, and spend all the insurance money you’re saving on Delmar. Because you will, whether you want to or not. :p
Delmar? Absolutely not!
You cannot name your child after a car that never made it!
See, If you’re going to name your wife after a Lotus, then at least name your first something cool like Mark or Carlton.
I’m assuming that Mark is short for ‘Mark II Jaguar’?
Jason is right on all counts. Also, Southern California hates kids. This is where a lot of the problem comes from.
Any car (that mostly work) will do just fine. Don’t worry.
Had my kids in all sorts of strange old “unsafe” vehicles (of course using correct and safe child seats and belts), which just mean they love classic cars – like me – now 🙂
David! I love this problem for you. Congratulations for taking life by the horns. We have been iterating through the problem ourselves and it has been a long and slow process. Things to consider.
Best of luck to you David. You have many difficult decisions ahead of you. Some of them you’ll even get a choice!
My $.02
Lexus: now the baby-mobile for all the reasons listed by others.
i3: Your daily driver. It was pricey, yes, but it’s newish and as long as your spouse can drive it when you need the to use baby-mobile Lexus while being Dad, you’ll have a decent second car in a pinch for either driver.
Jeep J10: Is this thing California legal with emissions? Haven’t really been following it, but if there’s issues with that, or some vague plan to make it more that will never happen, let it go.
Chevrolet K1500: It’s a cool truck, but it’s a 35 year-old truck doing 35 year-old truck things (i.e. breaking). Fix it, drive it to the Midwest where these things are gone, sell clean California truck for twice what you paid. Fly home. You can rent working trucks from Home Depot/U-Haul. Until you actually have a home where you use a truck more frequently, that is.
Mustang: Isn’t this your brother’s car? I’ve not heard you have much burning passion for it, aside it catching on fire. If your brother doesn’t want it, and won’t pay to store it, you’re just shouldering someone else’s unwanted load. Figure out who really owns that car. If it’s you, sell it.
Jeep Grand Cherokee: You’re not going on an overland adventure. Not for a good long while. This is fine, you’re going on another, more rewarding adventure. Sell it. Don’t let it rot for years if you’re not doing something with it.
Chrysler Voyager: It is in Europe. You are not. You are not likely to go more than once or twice a year. Rental cars exist in Europe. Sell.
Jeep YJ: Keep it. You drove your brand new wife away from your wedding in it. It’s a convertible in southern California. You can do Jeep things with it in California too. It has a 4.0L in it. Your kid will probably think it’s the coolest thing ever because it’s so iconic. This is your fun toy. One project keeps things in focus, because there sure will be other demands on your time/energy.
Final thoughts: There will be other cars when you have the time and your little one is less little. Your long personal piece a few days ago was just the introductory chapter of life. Like your move to California, leaving things that only weigh you down is necessary for growth. You can always get more things, and as your life changes, you’ll find excitement and appreciation in new things. But more importantly, appreciate your family first. Don’t let your attachment to things distract you from that.
All the best to your family!
These are all my thoughts, almost exactly. Make sure you own the cars and the cars don’t own you. If the cars own you, then it takes a lot of enjoyment out of them and life in general. Signed, a former sports car owner who was told by his wife everything had to be at least a 2+2 after he had his first child. (The good news, she loosened up a bit and now she’s at least permitted me a motorcycle for joy).
Having been in this exact situation, honestly keep the J10 until you have a second little one. Rock the bench seat with Delmar on the door side for the shoulder harness’ extra stability and ease of loading, and have Elise in the middle beside you or you in the middle while she drives. Newlywed cuddles and baby transport all in one on the way to Home Desperate or Loathes etc.
Putting Delmar in the back seat of an extended cab truck will actually be harder, I know from experience having had a pair of munchkins in short order and a Mazda b4000 extended cab to haul us all in. Infant seats don’t really translate through triangular gaps well so let Delmar sit up front with you both until either he’s too big to fit, or you need a fourth seat. I know the rear is the safer seat, but we’re talking about 35+ year old rigs without airbags or ABS so do what you can. Plus imprinting old truck smell on him early, associated with memories of riding around with dad having fun can only be a good thing.
The i3 can baby just fine, the only problem with it is you are comparing it with an RX350. For one baby, that’s peak automobile. If you have too many more or another too soon you might be better served by a minivan, but for now? That’s a damn fine duo.
“Delmar (not his real name)”
I thought the nickname would be Rusty, since that’s your middle name…right? Ha ha
Yes, they will all still baby since they are cars…you get in, drive, get out.
It’s all up to each owner how comfortable they are w/ each vehicle…I’m just not one to worry about how “safe” they are.
“I can’t drive these far on the freeway like I used to, because they’re not safe”
What the hell are you talking about?
Also, the Mustang isn’t even yours and the van isn’t even on this continent
Keep the ZJ since you were gonna make content on turning it into a great overlander…is there any way to get more wrenching content, by anyone? (the “which cars am I gonna keep or not” is getting a little old; just keep them all, car hoarding is fun!)
David, it is completely normal – and I’d argue more common than not – to have one kid-hauler car, and one only-practical-for-an-adult car (or alternate framing: better fuel-economy car). We all know there’s no way you’ll actually pare down to two, but if you did and it were Elise’s Lexus and your forever-i3, that’s fine. You’re good. None of your other cars need to be kid-practical.
I say this as someone whose kid just got flipped forward-facing two weeks ago, and hooboy am I enjoying that (and so is she). But basically: any car you plan to keep more than 3 years “it’ll be better forward-facing” matters. Any car you’d move on from sooner than that, just ignore the carseat entirely. Plus, you really don’t want to drive you kid anywhere in anything older than 2008. So the carseat should be out of the math for most of the rest of your fleet.
We flipped my kid about a month ago and man has it been a game changer. He loves spotting cars and heavy equipment from a quarter mile away and making it known.
Loading is so much easier too. Well not so much in my 3 hatchback as that still takes a bit of gymnastics and yoga on his part but it’s all part of the fun for him.
I say have one (the Lexus) that fits the whole family, the i3 should be good as you won’t always be taking the whole family. Not sure how that would help with the loading situation but Father Tracy will adapt. And I would think that you wouldn’t really want to take a new born in any of the other vehicles in the fleet for quite some time as they aren’t exactly safe. I am waiting for another couple of years and might try to find a TJ Wrangler to take the family out with top down fun
I’d keep the I3, the YJ and the Mustang. The kid will fit fine in the mustang and YJ. Everything else goes. The J10 is a junker, from experience car seats don’t fit in the small back row of that generation Chevy truck Plus it apparently has issues you don’t have time to deal with. The rest of the cars were more for clicks than something you really needed.
I feel your pain. I just bought a newer Camaro SS a few days ago to replace the old Nova I reluctantly sold for lack of garage space. The kids fit fine in the Nova but I couldn’t bear to leave it outside and storage was a pain. We should have tried the car seats first, the kids don’t have enough leg room in the Camaro. I’m going to probably take the big hit and sell the Camaro at a loss. Anyone want a cheap 16 Camaro SS?
Dad here (not yours, most likely, just in the general sense). I’m finding your bafflement here actually a little baffling. For the cars that are just for funsies, this depends primarily on space constraints. Do you have a reasonable place to keep them where they’re at least sort of accessible without being in the way or pissing off your family and/or neighbors? If so, just keep them! I got rid of an old 2002 that never ran right because i didn’t have a covered place to keep it and it made me sad to see it slowly rotting. As for cars that baby, i genuinely want you and everybody here to hear me on this one: most of that is complete bullshit, especially if you only have one kid. We had a BMW M235i (and not even the convertible) when our kiddo was born and yea getting her in and out was a bit of a hassle but no one has crippling back problems and it was fine. Turning the car seat forward facing makes it really a cinch. You do not need four doors for one baby. And you do not need anything larger than a Golf (our current car) for two children. I’ll cut you some slack if they’re both in backwards facing car seats at the same time but, honestly, don’t do that if at all possible anyways, for non car-related reasons. Finally, as has already been mentioned, especially with only one kid, you do not need more than one family-appropriate car. Storage and safety are your considerations. Also congratulations on all the things. You grew up before our very eyes. It is creepy and wonderful.
My sister-in-law told me that she preferred a 3-door hatchback to a 5-door, because tilting the front seat forward actually gave her more room in front of the seat, where should could stand (well, stoop) while she was doing up seat buckles etc. while staying out of the rain etc. In a 5-door you have less room in front so you have to do everything from outside the car.
For the first three years or so my niece was carried around in a Ford Ka.
David, I’m of the opinion that you really only need one baby-friendly car, and it sounds like the Lexus fits that bill. For short hops and emergencies, the i3 will be just fine. Just forego the jumbo stroller and you’re set. My kids are 6 and 9, and our 2014 i3 BEV is a fantastic medium-sized kid hauler. To be fair, I never had to try out a rear-facing car seat since we only picked our i3 up 2 years ago.
My advice?
The Lexus becomes the designated baby car, because having two child seats is expensive and changing them between cars is a right royal PITA. At most have a permanent baby seat in the i3 and only use it when the RX is out of the garage so it’s easier to access (or pull the car forward to get space)
Then think of the other cars as weekenders/fun cars, that Delmar can appreciate by climbing in and playing with, but not going for trips in until he’s old enough!
Babybone (NHRN) doesn’t get to go in the RX7 until he’s out of a babyseat as per the agreement my wife and I have (which is when he turns 7!) but at 1.5 he’s already smiling and enjoying driving in our little Cupra Born and he loves sitting in and playing with the switchgear in the RX7 already.
TLDR, Enjoy the time with the little dude and don’t overthink the fleet, you’ll find what works for you!
I am having that same conundrum. We are expecting in less than a month.
The car seat we ordered is huge.
This weekend I am going to test fit it in my 5th Gen Camaro. My wife has a 2017 Jetta that is as much of a car that she ever needs, but is soul sucking to drive.
I also have a 3.0L, 5 speed manual 2003 BMW E46 (its not actually mine, but my friend is has no place to keep it, so I help him by driving it once a week, and keep it at my place- so basically mine) … but it has an exhaust leak and only 2 doors like the Camaro.
I plan to make a video seeing how our new seat fits into these three cars this weekend.
Frivolities never need to be curbed!!
You have a minivan in the states? Sounds like you found the perfect dad vehicle.
Well, I think you should cull some of your cars simply because you have too many to enjoy them all. Keep one pickup – only you can decide which, keep an offroader, keep the mustang, and keep your I3S. The BMW babies fine, just park further out in the lot so you don’t get boxed in. Sell the others – I’m sure you can use the money and a smaller fleet is easier to enjoy.
Just because the kid hauler doesn’t stir your soul isn’t a terrible thing, having the family in a safe reliable car is a responsible thing to do. Clearly it stays for the foreseeable future. The i3 isn’t a great family car, at least with kids in car seats, butit is just fine to have that as your primary daily driver when it is just you and is able to haul the kid occasionally.
On the pickup front I’d have to say that yes you probably don’t need two pickups and the Chevy is simply more practical at this point for the reasons you mentioned. I’d hate to sell the J10 but I’d say it has to go. (note I put my kid in a rear facing in a regular cab Ranger with a 5sp and it really only worked with the wife in the middle)
I thought the Mustang was your brother’s so I think getting rid of that is off the table and again for occasional use it will work with the kid when they get older.
As far as off-roaders go. You don’t have to give up fun doing what you like to do completely, just because you are Married with Child(ren). (I’m sure David won’t get the reference, but others will).
Since you won’t be doing as much off-roading in the near future you really don’t need two. With the GC being an already long stalled project I don’t see it progressing any faster now. Plus the open air nature of the Wrangler will make it more enjoyable as a weekend cruiser, even if the family is just going to the park. So yeah the Wrangler stays and the GC goes.
I am with JT. . .no changes needed. . .you have Lexus for going anywhere as a family and road trips. If you and Delmar are going any where just the two of you, then any of the vehicles will work. Probably the i3 now that your safety switch has been turned on.
Remember kids like fun cars too.
Also, my Dad sold his very good condition 67 Chevy truck just before I turned 16. . .I have never let him live it down.
Unless the parking lot is REALLY tight, in the i3 I just park closer on the Driver’s side to make the shuffle less annoying.
Also, if it’s extra tight my usual strategy is:
• Pull headrest release latch and use my shoulder to push the seat back forward.
• Unlatch the seat from the base, and pull it out towards me to allow the seat back to return to normal position.
• Then rest the car seat on the passenger seat, shut the rear door, and back out.
With a bit of practice it doesn’t feel too awkward at all.
Sadly, my wife won’t even consider letting me take our baby in the MR2 Spyder. I’ve explained to her that it has a true airbag lockout, and the seatbelt locks as well, allowing correct carseat installation. But to no avail.
Real talk? The J10 is a hunk of shit that you are looking at with rose-tinted Rue McClannahan glasses. Buh bye. The Beemer is tricky because you spent so much on it, but grab its value before you whittle it away. Keep the Wrangler, because you live in LA so you might as well enjoy it. That minivan was always a slog, sell it and buy 10 of the 60 pairs of shoes you’re going to need to buy in the next few years.
On a different note: Delmar? Man, you had the perfect opportunity to name a kid Tracy Nee Tracy. 😉
That’s not bad, my go to was going to be Richard since calling him Dick would have obviously problematic connotations.
This is like the MI-to-CA move all over again. Which beloved things to let go? Maybe the old saying about romance applies here: It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. You’ve owned these vehicles, you’ve enjoyed them. Be glad for that. Or consider the Rolling Stones: You can’t always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes you get what you need. You’re in need mode now. Something sufficiently roomy and comfortable that won’t leave your family stranded when some 50-year-old part succumbs to metal/plastic/rubber fatigue on the 405.