What happens when an obsessed car enthusiast who was convinced he’d die alone meets the girl of his dreams, gets married, and has a child? Well, he finds himself both overjoyed and in a bit of a predicament, with far too many cars that…kind of don’t work for his lifestyle anymore. Why am I speaking in the third person? I have no idea, but I got zero sleep last night, so please bear with me as I talk about my current automotive dilemma now that most of my cars no longer work as daily transportation.
Over the past few weeks since welcoming my child, Delmar (not his real name), I have been driving around almost exclusively in my wife’s Lexus RX350.
Look, I’ve reviewed her 2017 RX350, and it is truly one of the best crossover SUVs money can buy — it rides great, it’s powerful, it’s spacious, it’s reliable, and on and on. But while it’s an impressive machine for how well it performs its intended function, it doesn’t exactly stir my soul. OK, I’ll say it: It’s a bit boring, and I’m starting to go crazy.
Obviously, complaining about driving a luxury SUV is very much a first-world-problem, but you know what I mean here. I’m a car-nut who is used to daily drive a 1965 Plymouth Valiant, a 1976 Postal Jeep, a 1992 Jeep XJ, a 1948 Willys CJ-2A, more recently a BMW i3S, and on and on. To go to a literally-beige Lexus crossover is a bit soul-crushing.
Anyway, I think it might make sense to go through my current collection of cars and evaluate their utility now that everything has changed for me and “my life is over” (as the young folks say).
1985 Jeep J10, 1989 Chevy K1500 Silverado
Let’s hop right into my biggest dilemma at the moment. I own two pickup trucks, and I cannot justify that, so I need to whittle it down to one.
On one hand, I have my 1985 Jeep J10, which has always been my dream truck. On the other hand, I bought a 1989 Chevy K1500 on a bit of a whim back in January because it was such a good deal, and you know what? It’s actually a great pickup. I think I’m comfortable saying that it’s much better than the J10, objectively speaking.
But that J10 purchase was never really a rational buy. I picked it up a decade ago because I think it looks badass, and also: It’s a bit of a relic of a bygone era. It’s got a carburetor, manual locking hubs, a true bench seat, a four-speed on the floor, a stamped tailgate, and a regular cab layout with an eight-foot bed. It is a truck’s truck.
The K1500 doesn’t have a carb, manual locking hubs, a stamped tailgate, or a regular cab, and its bed is only 6.5 feet long. But man is it a great daily driver; it rides like a cloud, its throttle body-injected 350 V8 fires up and generally runs quite smoothly, offering good power. And, crucially, it has two rows of seats.
That’s my concern with my J10: With only a single row of seats, does it really make sense to keep? I mean, I get that I don’t need space for my whole family in my daily commuter, since I’ll be driving to work alone, but the J10 isn’t my commuter — it’s my classic weekend cruiser and Home Depot runner. And for that, is it realistic that I’ll be just driving around all by myself without my wife and kid?
Should I keep the Chevy so I can take them with me, even though the J10 is clearly the cooler truck? I don’t have the answer.
[Editor’s Note: I guess we’re not talking about this? I’d have thought that could make this choice easier, but what do I know? – JT]
BMW i3S
The two daily drivers in our household are the Lexus and the BMW i3S, and that may make you wonder: “Why not just drive your beloved i3S instead of the Lexus?” It’s a fair question, especially given that the i3S is actually quite a safe car, having scored excellent marks in IIHS crash testing.
The issue is that the i3S is really not the most ideal family car. The big thing is that the infant car seat only just fits, and what’s more, getting the child in and out of that seat — especially when parked next to another car — is a huge pain in the ass. You end up getting stuck in this weird space between the rear door and the front door that needs to be open to release the rear door.
The overall interior volume isn’t bad — the entire continent of Europe has raised families in much smaller cars — but relative to the Lexus, the i3 is a pain in the Arsch for loading/unloading a baby.
I still plan to keep my i3, because I’m hoping once that seat becomes front-facing, it’ll be easier to install/remove young Delmar; plus, the i3 is the ideal one-person LA commuter. But there is part of me that wonders whether I should make sure all my cars can easily fit the whole family, or if it’s OK to have one or two that don’t.
Growing up, my dad had a 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee as his commuter, and it only seats five, while there were eight in our family. We had a Chevy Astro as well, so I think having one car that easily fits everyone and one that doesn’t is OK. And again, once that seat can flip around, maybe it’s fine.
[Editor’s Note: Personally, I think an i3 is a completely fine baby car. Well, the getting-trapped-in-the-doors thing sounds annoying, but I took my kid all over the place in my ’73 Beetle, and it had half as many doors! An i3 is many orders of magnitude better than that, especially safety-wise. But the Beetle wins for helping to keep your baby smelling like gasoline, oil, and horsehair. – JT]
Jeep YJ, Ford Mustang
So we’ve talked about the trucks and the daily-driver, but what about my classic cars that are a bit less utilitarian — my Sunday cruisers? To me, the fact that these can fit a child (once he’s older) means they’re in the clear. No, I can’t drive these far on the freeway like I used to, because they’re not safe, but if baby-Delmar wants to cruise around town in the YJ old Mustang, I bet he’d love it! (My old CJ-3B will hopefully have found a new home by then).
I don’t really see any issue with keeping ’round-town classics that can fit a family. It’s just the J10 that has me worried, because there’s no second row. [Editor’s Note: It’s a bench seat in the J10! We’ve had three people in there before! I was even in the middle! Elise (NHRN) and Delmar (NHRN) could all cram in there! Just you know, it’s maybe not the safest.– JT]
Jeep Grand Cherokee ZJ 5-Speed, Diesel Manual Chrysler Voyager
There are two vehicle that I’m a little worried about, because they’re not really ’round-town-cruisers; their best trait is that they’re great road-trippers. Do I think it would be loads of fun to drive 35 mph in a 1994 Jeep Grand Cherokee five-speed or a diesel manual Chrysler Voyager? Not really.
At least with the Mustang you get a nice sounding V8 and a totally different driving experience than you’re used to, and with the YJ you get open-top fun. But the ZJ and minivan? They’re great on the open road, or in the case of the ZJ, overlanding off-road.
I’d love to keep them both, because they’re amazing machines, but if I can’t regularly drive them with my family on the freeway, I’m not sure how useful they’ll be.
Then again, how much of car collecting is really about usefulness. I mean, none of this is rational; should I even be trying to rationalize it? Yes, yes I should. I’m a family man now and I have responsibilities. Frivolities need to be curbed! Right?
[Editor’s Note: I disagree with that above sentiment entirely. Some people love to tell new parents that kind of thing (I think they just get a perverse pleasure at seeing new parents’ faces go ashen when they get told they’ll never have fun again) , and I suspect David has heard it plenty. But it’s bullshit. You don’t need to curb frivolity, automotive or otherwise. You just need to involve the kid in it, because they’ll love it. There’s no right way to be a parent, and every kid is different, but I’d counsel, as a fellow dad, to keep the cars he likes, because a happy parent is a good parent. – JT]
I was in the same boat as you 2 years ago – I now have a 20 month old. Don’t sell ANYTHING for at least a year. Right now, you’re sleep deprived and trying to come to terms with your new reality. It’s a poor time to make life altering decisions (like selling all your cars). You’ll regret it in a year or two once you feel like yourself again.
It seems like your life will never be the same, but the truth is you’re still going to enjoy the same things (wrenching on and collecting beaters) a year or two from now as you do now. You’ll just enjoy new stuff with the kid too. Hopefully, someday you can share your passion for beater cars with your kids.
I own 9 two-door vehicles. When the baby was on the way, i had a mid-life crisis, combined with the guilt that I should own at least one 4 door and bought a 4 door Cadillac with a million horsepower. I thought it would be practical and suitable for the family man I had become. It turns out, whenever the three of us go out, we take the wife’s hybrid Highlander. The Cadillac is too nice, too expensive, to powerful, and too thirsty for most trips. I thought I could use the car to share my love of sports cars with the family, but no one is getting up at 5 am with me to go canyon carving, so a 2 seat Porsche would have been every bit as practical of a midlife crisis car.
As for what the baby actually rides in, when it’s my turn to drive her somewhere, I use a 2 seater – that way it’s legal to put the baby in the front seat (disconnect the passenger’s airbag if you have one, but I suspect your trucks do not) and this has worked out fantastically – she likes to watch me work the pedals and shifter – and I get to drive a car I really enjoy. I didn’t have to sell my soul to transport the tike.
Fast forward to a year and a half in and we have another baby on the way and I decided I really do need a four-door as stuffing 2 kids in the back of a tiny hatchback through the front seat is going to be a real pain. So I bought a 2001 Integra GS-R – which I LOVE. It’s a far better fit for me than the Cadillac. It has the same hot hatch vibes as my coupes, but has 4 doors. I LOVE driving it. But here’s the catch – the rear doors are much smaller than my 2 seaters, and the arch of the C pillar really gets in the way. So bottom line, with just one kid, she is always riding in a 2 seater instead of the 4 door – it’s easier to get her inside.
The overall message is that your pickups, in which your child can legally ride in the front seat, are actually great at transporting a baby on your way to work – so keep them. Further, a year from now you’ll have a much better sense of how and what vehicle you like to transport your kids in, so don’t sell anything until then. If you sell those cars, you’re never going to be able to buy them back at any kind of reasonable price. Those things are all back on the increasing portion of the depreciation curve. Again, don’t do anything hasty. Wait until life settles down and you feel like yourself again.
Wait, wait wait! How are not using “Rusty”as the name for the child!?
Fellow Dad here. My take is:
a.) keep 1 or 2 of the non-sensible cars because your love them, but…
b.) sell the rest off because you will not have time for side projects!
a. because the rare times you can go for a drive on your own are worth savoring, and in a few years you’ll see that those times will slowly start coming back
b. because the time and stress you’ll save by eliminating half-done projects is worth its weight in gold. Focus on your family and your work, because the next few years are so physically and mentally demanding.
BUT! You’re asking the right questions – just considering what the best move is for your life as a father is a sign that you’ll do a good job at it. Good luck DT!
Can’t tell you which cars to keep. Can tell you my mindset when it comes to cars, having kids and now less free time.
Daily drivers should be reliable, something you never have to think about. It should serve the purpose of picking up, dropping off kids, errands.
I’ve somehow increased my number of cars, post kids, but one thing that I prioritize now is the fun cars should just work. Outside of maintenance, I have no desire to own a unreliable fun car that I have to constantly do repairs on. Would I rather spend 6hrs Saturday driving down PCH with my kids, or in the garage fixing it. This mindset also applies to my decision of DIY vs sending it to the mechanic. There is a number in my head of hours it takes to DIY vs cost of paying someone.
I have fun cars that serves very specific purposes, it’s a bit much, but it works for me.
A couple of things:
1. Congratulations! Speaking as a dad of 3, Having a family is the best thing ever! Yes, it is a big change but it is a good change.
2. Worrying about every vehicle being family-friendly is BS. This is what led to everything being a f*ing crossover. You can have a few cars fulfilling separate purposes. As long as you have 1 do-all vehicle and another that is safe and will work for kid duty in a pinch, it’s fine. You have this covered. You’re getting nitpicky with your i3. It’s fine. If you can fit him in there and it’s safe, you’re good! Don’t plan for the 10%.
3. The usual rules of justifying vehicles do not apply to someone in your line of work. You provide for your family by way of vehicle content which your classics fuel. Now, if there are a few that you just can’t keep up with, pass them along to a better steward. Otherwise keep them and enjoy them. Eventually your kids will be able to enjoy them with you.
My wife complains all the time about not being able to drive my car – a 2006 TSX manual. She also refuses to drive my 94 F150 even tho it’s an auto. I ain’t budging. They are paid off, fulfill their roles well, and her newer highlander which is nearly paid off can do literally everything well (kids, towing, etc.). I’m not planning for the once in a blue moon situation where her car is in the shop and I’m not around. Just plan around your true needs and not the fringe situation. Good luck!
This article right here was inevitable the day you posted you had taken a sound bath. You are embarking on the scariest, most wonderful adventure most of us undertake. Shed the fleet: you ain’t got the time. Sure, many of us grew up free-range in the back seat of a 63 Dodge—or 5 kids & a St Bernard in the back of a microbus, but not-Elise nurtured that spawn inside her for months, so her veto is pretty much sacrosanct.
Let them go, man. You’re a father, business owner, writer, etc. (and, ain’t it WAY more fun than desperately wrenching in freezing conditions?). Get them gone. Think about it: if you want a J10 in 12-15 years, don’t you think one of us would drive across the country to deliver their baby to you then—happily?
priorities change: you’re not Dirty David now: you’re Daddy. 🙂
(I looked down at my infant daughter 30+ years ago and thought to myself, ‘Boy, you can be a Daddy OR a drunk: both ain’t gonna work’. Life changes: onward & upward!)
Once my kid was in a booster, they were in the back of a 280zx 2+2. You’re fine.
Rear facing seats are gigantic – we never took my WRX at that time because I couldn’t fit in the driver seat with that monster in the back. BUT that only lasts 6-12 months! Suck it up and use the RX until the baby seat gets smaller.
JT has it right. Your existing fleet is fine. Don’t over-think it!
“my child, Delmar (not his real name)”
Dude, we ALL know his real name is Ferrous.
(“Rusty” to his friends).
I went through this long ago, my kids are all grown now. you only need one sensible car and maybe a second one that isn’t quite as sensible but in a pinch you could haul the family in.
Coming from a guy with a 6 year old and a 3 year old (who will be in a booster this July) don’t make ALL you car decisions based on kids. Or at least, it’s not 100% necessary. I might drive a van which is peak-kidmobile, but honestly, I could drive any number of things and the kids would be perfectly happy back there.
You have one vehicle (the Lexus) that’s the obvious “we just want convenience and comfort” vehicle. The second daily needs to be able to baby, but only just so, there’s no need to provide your child limo luxury at every turn. The i3 is… probably going to be a PITA for a bit, but in the near term you’re only 2 years away from your kid being able to go front-facing. If a second child isn’t imminent, I’d hold off from making any knee jerk decisions. And let’s get real, while you could whittle down the collection a little bit, is it necessary for your kid to be able to ride in every vehicle as an infant? They can only be in one place at a time.
I had a rear facing kid in a Suzuki SX4 for a couple of years. While the space of our current cars is a nice luxury, it’s not a requirement. And we’ve never owned anything as nice as that Lexus, lol.
I am currently a stay at home dad that daily’s a BRZ cause I only have one kid and read a certain Jason Torch article a loooong time ago titled “Will it Baby”. And it does just fine. Our other car is a Honda Element, which has the same suicide rear door set up as the i3, and it works great! I do often park farther out in parking lots to have more room to work the doors but it’s not a big deal at all. And have an enthusiast car that doesn’t fit the whole family (or not comfortably) is fine if you aren’t all in it often. The kid and I are in the BRZ every day, but if all 3 of us go somewhere we take the Element, unless it’s broke in which case we all fit in the BRZ while I fix it. It works out well. Point is, use the Lexus as the primary family car, use the i3 if it’s just you or you and the little dude, and enjoy the special fun of all riding together in the fun classics on the weekends!
From my recent experience, you plan to have multiple cars ready for baby use, then a year and a half later you realized the child has been in one of those 2 cars a total of 3 times, and only because something was blocking the other side of the driveway or you were too lazy to stroller it to the park instead of driving. So…..
Keep what you like and what makes sense to you (yes, you should still pare down the fleet, but not using the ‘baby’ litmus test). You have the i3, you have an option. You’ll likely find in a few months time that the Lexus is getting 95% of the baby duty.
Seems like a very straightforward answer to me – get a 4 door JL wrangler for baby duty. If I had a hand in designing a vehicle on the OEM level, I would sure as hell be driving one.