I’m fine! I feel like I need to clarify that first thing, because of all of the thoughtful yet alarmed comments I saw yesterday when I revealed I was starting this Hemmings rally thing with a fever and some strange infections. You were all telling me the right thing, I definitely should see a doctor, and while I didn’t exactly do that (I did seek medical advice from a Rug Doctor, but he just went on and on about his intense wrath at dirt. He solemnly asserted it, even. Dude has anger issues.) I did manage to awaken the next morning feeling vastly better, so let’s call this a victory.
I will go see the doc when I get home, just to be safe. Can’t hurt, right? I need to get my blood changed and limbs rotated, anyway.
The point is I awoke this morning feeling less like a shaky, fevery mess, and the demon I saw in that picture over the toilet now just feels like some manner of sprite or pixie that’ll help me on my journey.
The rally is starting from two points, one in Southern California, one in Northern California, and converging at Paso Robles (Spanish for a nickname for the damp groin of an unnamed saint), and the group I was traveling with had a nice assortment of cars that broke down into a pack of fast, modern Porsches, a green modern BMW, a nice pair of classics (a ’67 Austin-Healey 3000 and a ’69 BMW 1600), and then the group’s happy shame, our CrossCab.
My favorite cars in my group are, as you can likely guess, the archaic ones. This BMW 1600 is especially charming, as it’s clearly a car that gets driven, and it just looks and sounds fantastic.
The 1600 was the predecessor to the legendary 2002, and shares essentially the same body with that legendary car, but the relative rarity of the 1600 makes these even cooler, I think. They also have an amber-less variant of the fantastic round BMW taillight, a variant only really seen on ’68 and ’69 cars.
The Porsche pack left the rest of us behind pretty early on, which was fine by me, as I like staring at the older cars, anyway. The Austin-Healey is especially fun to drive behind because that car’s co-driver, Willy, is an eight-month-old rescue puppy:
He looked like he was having a blast and, I’m told, didn’t even puke once, which is impressive for anyone.
Was he good at sniffing tires to accurately calculate their tread life to within plus or minus a week? Sure was!
Did he have a belly that required rubs? Absolutely.
The rally route was quite lovely and well-planned, taking us through some lovely terrain and fun, twisty roads.
Was I good at following the route guidance? No, not at all, thanks for asking! I did some doubling back and missing important sections, but I eventually figured it out, at least close enough, and besides, getting lost allowed me to find important things I’d otherwise have missed, like this trespass-ortunity:
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See? If I followed the route, I’d have missed that amazing herd of well-behaved, thought-to-be-extinct, creatures. Wow.
I bet you’re wondering what roadside porta-potties are like in this part of the world? Fantastic, that’s what they’re like. Warm, welcoming, with a heady stench, redolent of healthy bladders and kidneys.
The CrossCab is actually doing pretty great. It’s not a great handling car – in fact, the lift we added makes it kind of a hippo on roller skates in the twisties, and somehow the seats aren’t terribly comfortable, but as you can see, Otto figured out how to maximize every atom of comfort out of the interior.
The CVT, despite its terrible reputation, is doing great, even if it, you know, never feels great, but that’s how those things were when new, too.
Otto seems to be having fun, enjoying free shrimp, which is the first, crucial step if he should choose to go into autojournalism himself one day. I’m not pushing any particular path, but it’s nice to see him developing an appreciation of The Finer Things.
And, again: I’m okay!
I did a short, scenic rally last weekend. Except there was sightseeing trivia. So you had your navigator attempt to correctly answer 25 questions about things you would see along the route.
I had no navigator so I had to focus on staying on course with a solution I barely prepped in advance with technology.
We also got judged on a “best automotive encounter with law enforcement story” before we were set off and I got Top 3. There was also “best start” after they had told us fifty different ways to behave. If I had known we were being judged on that a tire chirp would’ve clinched it for me.
Curious what the cost of admission was of this rally. I’ve watched the prices for these events skyrocket in recent years, especially the ones with picturesque drives up into wine country. They’re like a mortgage payment, two if they include hotel stays. By the way, who’s the vagabond pictured living on the back seat?
“Was he good at sniffing tires to accurately calculate their tread life to within plus or minus a week? Sure was!”
Good, though, that the puppy wasn’t tasked with sniffing tires to determine if they were 1.5 psi off.
I wished I could get time off from work to take all these great trips.
“[T]he demon I saw in that picture over the toilet now just feels like some manner of sprite or pixie that’ll help me on my journey.”
If it starts yelling IT AIN’T VENDELL VILLKIE!! directly in your ear then you’ll know it’s no manner of sprite or pixie and it’s time to start worrying (after all, the convertible top already has a head start):
https://youtu.be/zAPf5fSDGVk?si=r4Q80ECmZKmav3xH
Seeing that hillside view reminds me of “You know what’s remarkable? Is how much England looks in no way like Southern California.”
Yeah, baby!
Very diverse terrain throughout California. You can see a little of everything if you have about 12-14 hours of drive time available.
“Sir? Sir! You can’t park here – This is for the people with cool cars”
“But I brought shrimp cocktail”
“Oh, I see – Welcome to the group!”
The parking up on the curb is a nice touch as well.
Ahh, yes, the free auto journalist shrimp. That seems to be the default food for auto journalists at the fancy events. Were they wheelbarrow or frunk shrimp?
I agree totally with your choice of which cars to follow. That 1600 is a masterpiece and the only change I would make to it would be the paint color. Orange for the win Plus the Austin Healy is beautiful and the Por sha folks? Meh, who cares, look at me I’m fast and a narcissist who can spend too much money on a toy. Good on you and Otto in the purple fuckknowswhat mobile. A sense of humor is much needed in America’s 2025
Given your prior health crisis, you need to treat any infection bad enough to cause a fever as potentially life-threatening instead of just trying to sleep it off. It’s not time to be a hero anymore.
That said, this is great news both regarding how you feel, and how the rally has started. It looks like you’re having a lot of fun.
I’d even go as far as recommend he tell his doctor back home that he’s in LA on business about once a month and is there anyone out there he has any connections with.
Cedars Sinai is the place to go for that in LA
Now turn your head and cough