While I don’t feel particularly old, I’ve now reached the point in life where something I could have blogged about might be 18 years old. A post of mine could vote, could go to college, could even fight in a war (or kinetic action). This means there are foundational texts of the car internet that younger people might not even be aware of. Texts like NEMESIS!!!
Let me preface this by saying that I just started reading Dante’s “Divine Comedy,” which is an epic poem that itself relies on at least being aware of a few other texts, including Virgil’s Aeneid, and the writings of Aristotle and Thomas Aquinas. Having not really studied all of those works and authors deeply, I’m aware that I’m probably missing some of the references.
When blogging here, I am also aware that I might make quick shorthand to pieces of content that might be missed because either the reader is too young to have been around for it or, also reasonably, just wasn’t terminally online 15 years ago.
A prime example is the short film “Porsche vs. NEMESIS!!!!!!”
“DAMIEN, WILL HAVE YOU”
“NEMESIS, OHHHH YOU LIKE IT LIKE THAT. NEMESIS!!!!!”
“NEMESIS! OHHHHHH MY GOOOOOOD!”
“HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH AHAHHH HAHHAAH”
It’s basically Days of Thunder, F1: The Movie, and every season of Drive To Survive summed up in about 90 seconds. When it first hit the Internet nearly two decades ago, there was basically no context. It was just a driver, pretty clearly in some sort of 911, chasing a Saleen Mustang around a small race track that wasn’t easy to identify. There was no one famous here and, this being pre-GoPro, it was clearly shot on some sort of camcorder.
Even the original poster pointed out that “This isnt my video someone posted in one of my regularly visited automotive forums. I decided everyone needed to see this. just watch!” I’m fairly sure I saw it myself in The Car Lounge of VW Vortex, which is a sentence that makes my bones creak.
The pure delight, the impromptu insanity, and the delightful payoff are what make this little film probably the greatest car racing video ever, and whenever I’m behind someone on a race track, I can’t help but call out “NEMESIS!!!!”
Credit to the blogger Paulo Acoba, who managed to track down the driver of the 911 and learned that NEMESIS is the name of the Mustang, which explains a lot. Also, the guy behind the wheel of the Mustang is also the 911 driver’s brother. That explains even more. Here’s the bit I find most interesting, from the 911 driver, Jon Theobald:
I have to preface this section: this video was never meant for public consumption. We normally would just video a handful of our sessions then watch at home later that night while we ate dinner and drank a beer or two, critiquing our driving and it was just cool to watch our cars on TV.
On this particular video, I was just following my brother watching him pull away from me on the long straight, getting frustrated as he added car lengths to his lead. I was thinking in my head “Damn you Nemesis!!”, “I will have you Nemesis!” and then it just came out of my mouth as I was driving in a primal scream intended to be a surprise at the video screening later when were home.
That’s the magic of this, and it’s a magic that’s hard to find these days. There’s more automotive content being produced every 15 minutes than we’d get in a week 20 years ago. The difference is that most of it is, if not explicitly scripted, filmed in an era where everyone assumes they’re on camera all the time. Between action cameras like GoPros and the ubiquity of cellphones, there is no way anyone would assume anything filmed “was never meant for public consumption.” Everything is public, and everything is consumed.
NEMESIS!!!!!!!! benefits from being shot merely for the amusement of one brother. A film created to be enjoyed over a few beers. It just happened to be right in the era that, if someone uploaded it to a forum, it might end up on YouTube for everyone to enjoy.
IYKYK. If you don’t, here you go. You’re in on the joke now.
Top photo: YouTube screenshot
When I heard the vocals start, I was instantly taken back to when I drove (and chaperoned) my early teenage son and his friends to metal concerts in oh, 2009-2010.
And wow, Matt… it’s been quite a while since I thought of VW Vortex. I didn’t do forums until I bought my ’01 Jetta TDI. Fred’s TDI Club turned out to be a much more useful and entertaining site to hang out on. Most of the folks at Fred’s viewed VW Vortex derisively as where kids with more horsepower than brains posted.
mmm…VW Vortex. It was an ’02 Jetta GLI that got me hooked – the first car that really gave me the giggles. I loved the note of that VR6 and rowing the gears on the 6-speed trans was a delight.
Why did you turn!?
Pretty sure that’s a Lambo dude.
Stone cold classic.
Just watched the video. With my lazy Lab sleeping at my feet.
As soon as your vocal audio starts the dog woke up, snapped her neck from side to side looking for the demented crazy bastard who had disrupted her rest…
A second later she realized the demented voice was coming from my laptop.
End of story.
Appreciate the laugh.
When I read it in college we used an annotated version that filled in a lot of the blanks. It was very helpful in following what was going on in each chapter (verse? I forget exactly how it’s split up).
If Dante’s Divine Comedy is getting you down, Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle did a great job with Inferno (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferno_(Niven_and_Pournelle_novel) ) Science fiction writer ends up in Dante’s hell. Not a lot of car action, though there is a scene with roving killer cars while raining fire. Good stuff!
I skipped the backstory, because this video deserves to live context-free. I prefer it to be a piece of media with no known story behind it, more fun for me that way!
This made me think of the animated video where the guy with the exotic car demands to be put in the fastest run group, while the instructor asks why the guy wouldn’t give his Miata a point-by. Can’t seem to find it anymore.
Here you go. Flicky Speedmaster!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sKnYMqHbNQ
Bless you sir!
I was always partial to this old drift video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7GmuYbRypg
This sounds a lot like my morning commute. I probably need to skip that third cup of coffee.
A classic, I just wish a repository existed for all the lost and forgotten videos from Streetfire. Those shaky and grainy camcorder videos were the best.
I remember borrowing the camcorders from the AV group in school to record me and the boys vehicular shenanigans. I still have some of those videos buried on my HD to laugh at later.
I will cry “NEMESIS!!” whenever I am thwarted by someone or something that has done so repeatedly, and after having showed her this video, it makes my not-a-car-person fiancee laugh.
Oh man, brings me back. I remember when this was making the rounds on early Youtube.
Followed years later in 2014 by “Samir, you’re breaking the car!”
Oh, the Samir/Vivek rally video is hilarious, albeit malicious.
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9-voINFkCg
The story behind the video: https://www.thedrive.com/news/samir-youre-breaking-the-car-was-a-career-ruining-hit-job
I miss the weird internet. I have never seen this video and it is amazing in its purity.
I remember the weird internet Herb Zipper, when we found out who Ze Frank was because of the viral, flash animated wedding invitation that got shared, super fly, the awesome hoaxes that had so much effort put into them; anyone remember man beef dot com? It’s not what you think and it was so great. So much effort put into a fake site about cannibalism. Why? Because.
There was a time people put things out there to be creative and it wasn’t about monetizing everything. Sure, a lot of it was to get noticed and maybe get a job out of it but it wasn’t about generating ad revenue or anything. There was an authenticity and purity to it that today’s internet just lacks. I think it generally started fading around the time of MySpace and was really lost when FB came along.
Man what weird times. Thanks for the memories!
Darn right. Back in my day you had to hand craft your fake pictures with a pirate copy of Photoshop and write your own HTML in notepad like god intended. None of this lazy-ass AI slop.
The lack of any technical barrier to entry on the internet these days is a huge problem. A lot of the bad content being created now could in theory have been done before, but it was hard enough that no one bothered. Now that social media and AI have made it trivial to spew BS, guess what those platforms are full of?
I saw this and the “I WAS IN SECOND” video around the same time and get them mixed up in my head a lot.
This is 100% the type of commentary I yell while on the track.
I have seen this vid before, but had no idea it was that old, nor the story behind it. I wonder what track this took place at?
Just noting that our hero is clearly suffering a little from target fixation and nearly follows the Mustang off the track. It’s also made more amusing by virtue of being clear that he didn’t have the beans to pass the Mustang on his own. Still a classic.
This landmark is only rivalled by the “Hitler Rant” channel outlasting the Third Reich.
I was there 8̶4̶ 18 years ago…
Amazing, I’ve had it on my saved youtube videos since that time.
Matt, I’m the same age as you and have never seen this.
Hilarious.
It turns out that “having a life” means missing out on some things.
You might be making assumptions here that aren’t justified, but thank you for doing so.
THANK YOU for bringing this back around! Giggles then, giggles now. +1 for dropping some serious lit references. I remember and enjoy the image of Dante climbing over Satan frozen in the ice as much as I enjoy this dude’s evil laugh.
Basically the same thing.
In the “young Internet” years when storage prices were crashing and search became actually useful there was this thought that no knowledge would ever be out of reach, everything would be preserved, the record of human knowledge would be forever.
It turns out to not have worked like that at all. Archives are lost, bit rot happens fast, search has been hijacked for profit and engagement and in less than a generation internet and culture historians are needed to teach the world about NEMESIS.
and whenever I’m behind someone on a race track, I can’t help but call out “NEMESIS!!!!”
This!
After about 10 years of taking my Miatas (NA, tubos, supercharged…) and ‘practicing’ with other drivers on racetracks (it’s High Performance Driver Education, we NEVER use the “R” word) – I absolutely have yelled “NEMESIS” at least once every weekend!… perhaps even a “You Likey Like that!” or two.
It’s not a track day if you don’t.
Thanks for the flashback!
Love it; he sounds like an early-80’s cartoon villain!
LMAO I have never seen this.