Here’s a fun thought exercise: What is the American air-cooled Porsche 911? Logic dictates the Chevrolet Corvair by virtue of its layout, or the Chevrolet Corvette due to its close competition with the German icon. However, sometimes you need to dig a little bit deeper than the surface. It’s hard to imitate oil-cooled built-backwards coupes with a reputation for spitting underskilled drivers backwards through hedges, but if there is a rough American equivalent, it isn’t a car at all. Instead, it’s a van — the Chevrolet Express.
[Editor’s Note: We editors warned Thomas that this take was too hot. But he insisted, and we have to let him learn to swim on his own. Be gentle in the comments. -DT [Editor’s Note Editor’s Note: Gentle in the comments? You don’t learn to not touch the stove by NOT burning yourself – MH]]
You might think I’m insane. First of all, that’s a requirement for working here, but hear me out: The Chevrolet Express and air-cooled Porsche 911 have more similarities than you might realize. Let’s start with the most obvious: Longevity. The Jeep Wrangler, Chevrolet Corvette, Ford Mustang — all those icons have undergone significant body changes through their histories. The Chevrolet Express? Well, it got a new front clip and eventually ditched sealed-beam headlights on the base models, but that’s about it. This means that the Express may be the longest-produced American vehicle with unchanged bodywork, running from 1996 through to the present day with just a facelift. Likewise, the Porsche 911 gained impact bumpers and wider fenders, but it was still essentially the same car from 1964 to 1989.
Then there’s the commonality of focus. Just like how shaping the 911 was an exercise in perfecting a sports car platform, the Chevrolet Express has been ruthlessly-optimized for the realities of North American van use. In my experience, rustproofing on these vans is much better than on first-generation and second-generation Mercedes-Benz Sprinters, which helps them last a bit longer in the hostile salt of the rust belt. Powertrains used are shared with common pickup trucks so parts are cheap and easy to obtain. Towing capability has been continuously optimized because you just know someone will try towing something entirely stupid with a cargo van. In contrast to many highly rules-focused societies, the guiding principle of America seems to be “don’t get caught.” Spec one of these suckers with the latest V8, and you can legally tow 10,000 pounds and illegally tow whatever you can get to move. Try doing that with a Sprinter or a Transit.
In a similar vein, the Porsche 911 took the sports car ethos and ran with it, evolving its handling, roadholding, braking, and straight-line performance for continuous improvement against the world’s best. The final 3.2 Carrera models could still hold their own in a straight line against the C4 Chevrolet Corvette, every 911 was a joy to throw through the curves, and the addition of galvanization in 1975 made it possible to enjoy sports car motoring more often. Over a 20-plus-year production span, the 911 built a reputation as the ultimate everyday sports car, just as how the Express built a reputation as the ultimate American van.
Another common thread? Both underwent a fairly substantial structural update early in life. In 1969, Porsche stretched the wheelbase of the 911 to improve handling. In 2003, GM seriously beefed up the Express’ frame with influence from the GMT800 full-size pickup truck program for improved capability. Both of these updates stuck with their respective vehicles for the life of the production run, and there’s another similarity between the 911 and the Express – both kept evolving their powertrains. From two liters of fury to the magnificent 3.2-liter Carrera, the 911 continually updated its engine lineup, and that included the gearbox. The Getrag G50 five-speed manual was an immense step up from the 915 five-speed manual, and the 915 was evolved from the 901 dog-leg five-speed.
The Express, meanwhile, has been offered with everything from a 2.8-liter diesel four-cylinder to a 4.3-liter V6 to a thumping L8T 6.6-liter gasoline-powered V8 churning out 401 horsepower and 464 lb.-ft. of torque. Depending on engine choice, it’s also been available with two four-speed automatics, a six-speed automatic, an eight-speed automatic, and it even was available with all-wheel-drive for a few years. Now that’s what I call diversity.
So what about cultural impact? Well, show any North American the silhouette of a Chevrolet Express and they’ll instantly know what it is. From helping apartment-dwellers move from Williamsburg to Bushwick, to shuttling skiers, to being faithful tour vans for fledgling bands, the Express is iconic (maybe not quite as iconic as the Ford Econoline, but still) because it’s done it all. It’s America’s mule, a star-spangled archetype of what a van is. Hell, if you asked most Americans of a certain age to draw a van, they’d end up drawing a Chevrolet Express.
Finally, there’s stubbornness. Just like how the Porsche 928 intended to succeed the 911, the Express should’ve long since been snuffed out by a variety of tall-roofed European-style vans. From the Mercedes-Benz Sprinter to the Ford Transit, some extra roof height goes a long way for working inside a van and carrying excessively bulky items. However, the Express still sells by the truckload because it’s the familiar gold standard. Chevrolet shifted 8,595 of them in the first quarter of this year, which when combined with 4,796 units of its GMC Savana twin, works out to 13,391 sales in America from January through March. Chevrolet seems set on sticking with the Express for as long as it has legs, a seemingly unshakable commitment to a thoroughly outmoded idea.
The Chevrolet Express is the last great American automotive anachronism, much as the Porsche 911 seemed charmingly outdated long before it was replaced by the 964. It never seems out-of-place or out-of-era, it’s simply a constant, like breathing air or drinking water. While the Express may be headed for the end in a few years, expect its presence on our roads to linger for decades.
(Photo credits: Chevrolet)
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Every blog needs a low bar.
Ummmm, the 964 and 993 were also air-cooled 911s. Sure they had some upgrades, and the 993 had an entirely new suspension system, but they were still air-cooled 911s.
Didn’t that 964 and 993 also still use the 1960s body shell? I feel like they did
I found an 8 door Express in a junk yard once. Front and passenger side doors, double doors on both sides and the back. I’ve never been sure what it would have been good for. Getting everyone out and into church quick? If it had rear seats they were long gone.
Is that Vanlifer Foresty Forests truck. As an Australian its my only point of reference. He seems to have only slightly less issues than a 911 driver.
A Chevy express will look yummy with an interior covered in shag carpet. Try that on a 911.
I have to take exception to the the entire premise of this comparison. The 911 has evolved continuously and relentlessly while you would have to squint to see any evolution of the Express over the past 27 years. In many respects, the van has devolved (loss of AWD, loss of both diesel options). Compared to 1996, towing has increased from 10,000# to 10,000#. Handling is the same. Braking is the same. It’s a wonder that their stamping dies have not worn out.
The full size pickups (1/2 ton or 1 ton of any brand) would be a far more appropriate comparison.
Great take. Your brain is a great addition to this staff, for suresies.
The Chevy Express van, the bane of my commute. I drive on a B-E-A-utiful road, CT Rt 8. I ride the fast train in the left lane. At the front of that train is almost always either a white Chevy Express or a Pickup, slowing the left lane train down to an annoying pace.
The Chevy Express, for it I have no disdain, just stay the fuck in the right lane.
It’s amazing to me that they haven’t at least upgraded the radio. It’s still the radio from almost 15 years ago. There’s an aux input jack. It’s a $150 option for a usb port and another $50 for Bluetooth.
Now if they could only fix the “Express vans shed paint like a snake sheds it’s skin” issue, I’d be more of a fan.
Sorry I and most workingmen who drive a van say Econoline with the only change being the name to E150 to E450 are the preferred better unchanged American built van.
Yeah, but they only come as a cutaway chassis cab nowadays
This is not the worst take. Iconic design essentially immune to change. I can get there from here.
I hate that they only offer the passenger vans in 3500/1-ton and not the 1500/half ton 🙁
Ford, Chrysler, Mercedes, and GM need to allow civilians to order a SWB 7-passenger 1/2 ton passenger van.
They’re jealous that they would steal sales from their full-size SUVs 🙁
The missing link!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chevrolet_Greenbrier
(I call her “Lucy”).
Australopithexpress.
If you allow the asterisk of being cutaway chassis cab only, the Econoline is actually older than the Express since the current body came out in 1992 and the last face-lift is still available https://www.ford.com/commercial-trucks/e-series-cutaway/ and on its 7th engine family. Back in the 90s the Econoline used Windsor and 385 gas V8s before transitioning to the Triton V8 and V10 in the oughts and the E450 currently uses the 7.3 Godzilla. The Econoline also got 7.3 IDI diesels 7 3 and 6.0 Powerstroke diesels and a small number had the 300 I-6 and Essex V6.
And even that 1992 redesign was still just new exterior sheet metal welded onto the same underbody structure from the 1970s, rather than an all-new body
Oh great, now people are going to start getting six figures for their old clapped out rusty vans.
I see you’ve never tried to buy a used work van. Values are absolutely dumb for something that likely at some point was beaten on with an actual hammer
You could get a 6.6L Duramax in them also.
I’d argue the Jeep CJ/Wrangler is the American 911.
From the military Jeeps of WWII to today’s latest Jeeps, they all look basically the same. DT and other Jeepheads will point to all the little changes, just the way Porsche fans will point out the differences in generations 911s, but to the average person, a CJ and Wrangler are the same thing.
Not only will both groups point to the changes, they will point out how the changes made the vehicle lesser, and impure, compared to the previous generations.
At least you are comparing apples and pineapples. Hundal is comparing apples and boomarangs.
They’re not that dissimilar really. Both Red Delicious apples and boomerangs come from trees, are beautiful and iconic pieces of design which have lasted many many decades, and taste horrible.
Never mind the flavor; the texture of each is unpleasant.
Pineapples and hand grenades. Because Porchs do explode after warranty
Wasn’t it Enzo Ferrari who stated the Willys Jeep was America’s best sports car? It might be interpreted as an insult to America, but it sure is a compliment to the Jeep, which to be fair is indeed a fun and unique vehicle.
Trust the man who never designed a car worth the money it sold for.
I would argue that every full-sized van looks like the Chevy Express. So, if they draw a van, it will look like the Express.
Ford still builds most of the Econoline, they just hack it off behind the seats to make way for custom bodywork. The Mack MR dates from the late 70s, and KW is finally retiring their old riveted aluminum cab from the early 60s, But the aluminum cabover K100 from the late 50s just got updated to the K200 for AU, NZ, and maybe RSA…
I want what he’s smokin’, dude.
Oh, let’s try this game with people! So, Van Johnson and Portia deRossi. No, no, it doesn’t work with people.
He’s goddamn right it is
The Humble John Deere Model D Is The Closest America Has To Its Own Air-Cooled Porsche 911, Just Hear Me Out: If you ask any school kid to draw a tractor… No, no, wait, I’ve got it: The Humble Saturn V Rocket Is The Closest America Has To Its Own Air-Cooled Porsche 911, Just Hear Me Out: Both machines are built to go very fast, and incredibly dangerous in the hands of an unskilled operator…
While a bit of a stretch, this take is not nearly as infuriating as the “Pizza is not a meal” or “Touch the cars” ones from the old site. Thomas is reasonably safe from needing skin grafts after reading the comments. 🙂
Well one was clickbait and the other was written by a hack, sooooo
I am firmly in the Touch the Cars camp.
I don’t think I’m imagining this: I seem to remember my old boss having one express van out of 3 or 4 with the 8.2 liter V-8. It was a black 2003 model, and we used it to tow godawful weight. Driven unloaded it was really kind of quick–tap the throttle to enter a.highway and you’re doing eighty before you take a.breath.
Yep, you could get them with the 8.1 big block 496 for a short spell when that engine launched in the early 2000s.
My dad likes to tell stories of when he was driving a V8 work van in college and a classmate who thought he was hot stuff pulled up in a Foxbody Mustang pulled up at a red light and challenged him to a race. The van beat the Mustang by a huge margin, leaving its driver looking rather crestfallen.
My dad’s takeaway from this experience of course was that 1980s Mustangs are all show and no go, though I think it says more about how fast unladen vans can be.
THIS is one of my favorite fun activities! I work for a company that builds box vans. Frequently, I’m driving a bare cab and chassis that has nothing built on the back yet. There is a stoplight near the plant that goes from 2 lanes to one right after the light. People always pull up beside me, expecting to cut me off. If you can get traction, an Isuzu NPR with the 6.6 GM gas V8 will flat out SCOOT! I have surprised many drivers!
That sounds like FUN!!!
Power to weight ratio is a real thing!