Commercials are like cockroaches: ubiquitous, nearly indestructible, and crunchy, with a strong, nutty flavor. And despite how quickly I attempt to click the Skip Ads button, commercials still fight their way into my awareness in many places I watch videos online, as we all do. One particular class of commercials that seems to appear more than most is automotive-related in that it is for the car rental company Hertz. They’re a series of commercials with legendary NFL quarterback Tom Brady, and the conceit is that he’s on some sort of rental car-focused talk show. For whatever reason, these commercials grate on me in a deep, profound way, and I finally realized that the only way to deal with the stabbing pains of annoyance I feel when one of these miserable 15 seconds of irritant assaults me, turning even light and sound into my foes, is to kvetch about them to you, here, publicly. So let’s get to it. Because there’s something about these ads that makes me feel more empty than any ad for a rental car company should.
If you’re somehow not familiar with these commercials, allow me to congratulate you on your luck and privilege while simultaneously providing you the means to shatter your happy walls of ignorance, if you just click play below.
Holy crap, there are only two of these so far? I could have sworn they made like 1,600 of these things. Okay, well, that’s good news! Maybe we can put a stop to these before they proliferate!
Also, I’m sorry for putting you through this, but I feel it’s the only way. This first one is the more mild of these ads, I think:
Okay, the one above I guess sets up the whole insipid premise: Hertz, a car rental company, has inexplicably decided to produce a talk show, and hired some sort of Oprah/Wendy Williams-type of host to helm it. The actress here plays her role very well, and I don’t blame her, or even Tom Brady, for the nightmare that these spots have become. I think the reason is more elusive.
In this first clip, they’re trying to make it seem like Brady is revealing something deeply confessional? And somehow he analogizes it to renting a car and driving off, because Tom Brady, like any of us when we fantasize, likes to keep our expectations nice and low, because that’s what fantasy is all about, right? If we talk about just having a car and going, then the fantasy is ruined because now we have to fantasize about getting it registered and insured and all that.
Then it turns into one of those Oprah giveaway things and there’s a wheel and oh it’s all just a painful way to tell you Hertz rents EVs, I guess.
This other one is worse, somehow:
What’s this about? It’s supposed to be like one of those paternity test talk show segments? Is that what’s going on here? But instead they’ve confirmed Tom is renting a Shelby Mustang?
Why do I hate these ads so much? Objectively, they shouldn’t bother me so. They’re just dumb commercials; Hertz wants people to know they rent EVs and Shelby Mustangs. Fine. Fantastic. Good for you, Hertz. But this conceit of the fake talk show – it’s all so cloying and grating and the more you scrutinize it, the worse it gets. If we’re supposed to believe these are clips from the Hertz Let’s Go Show, then how are we not supposed to consider what this banal show would be about?
Ugh, and reading what Hertz writes about these things in their press release just makes it all so much worse:
“In the campaign’s hero spot, the five-time Super Bowl MVP finds himself baring his soul to Orji on the show, ultimately winning a ‘Let’s Go moment’ in a Hertz electric vehicle (EV) rental. Brady and Orji recreate multiple iconic daytime talk show moments in the new series while highlighting Hertz’s diverse vehicle options – including its growing EV fleet – Hertz Gold Plus Rewards loyalty program, partnerships, global footprint and more. “
Oh god it looks like they’re planning on more of these:
“The Hertz. Let’s Go! campaign has effectively shined a spotlight on our fast and seamless service, and innovative vehicle offerings, including our EV rentals,” said Wayne Davis, Hertz’s chief marketing officer. “Tom Brady has been such an authentic and enthusiastic partner for Hertz and this campaign, that we mutually decided to extend our partnership through 2024. We can’t wait for people to engage with the next phase of the campaign as Tom and Yvonne bring their talent and humor to showcase the many elements that make renting from Hertz a great way to travel and create memories.”
There’s a “next phase” of this vacuous shit? Where’s my vomit bucket? Wait, that’s my chili bucket. Dammit. Now look what they’ve made me do.
[Ed Note: I can neither confirm nor deny that this post is acting as therapy for Jason. -DT].Â
Okay, let’s get back to the big question: why do these ads bother me so? They really shouldn’t. They’re commercials, they’re not supposed to be art, they’re here to sell stuff. And yet, not all commercials feel as painful as these do. I think maybe the whole talk show premise just drives home that they’re really about almost nothing, and dressing up almost nothing in something as loud and involved as a talk show just makes it all the more clear and painful.
Is anyone actually amused by these? Is anyone delighted thinking “oh, hey, Tom Brady is on a talk show! About renting cars! I’m chuckling because I myself have rented cars, and viewed talk shows!” No. Nobody is thinking that. Somehow these ads just manage to cheapen the entire human experience and that doesn’t make me want to rent car.
Were Hertz ads always this bad? Let’s see:
Shit. OJ, huh? That didn’t age well.
At least in their really old, old ads they just dropped people into moving cars:
I’ll be honest, I’m still not entirely sure why I’m struggling with these ads so much. I know that I’m going to fling my laptop, frisbee-like, through a window if I have to sit through one again, but I still don’t think I’ve locked onto just why it is, or what it is about these ads specifically that affect me so. I’m happy to listen to your advice in the comments, unless it’s that I should seek out my clergyperson, because they won’t return my calls anymore just because I should “know better” than to do what I did last time as a member of “society.” Pfft.
We have to suffer through these because of Tom Brady’s divorce.
That pretty much says it all for me. That’s a gag-inducing premise no matter who you have in front of the camera. But then they went and got Brady, who would be one of the worst possible choices for a godawful ad campaign. I never bought the whole GOAT thing, although he’s clearly the best quarterback of his era. He’s gunning for WOAT when it comes to commercials, though.
Brady was at 24Hr of Le Mans this year wearing a Hertz jacket. He was there because Hertz was a sponsor on a car. When asked about what driver he likes or somethin along those lines and he just had no idea. Was there purely just to be seen and to shill. I don’t know what his hobbies are in real life but he comes off as just so not relatable
I highly dislike these ads, but I just spent the first part of the week with a Hertz rental and now I hate these ads even more. I have avoided Hertz whenever possible for decades, but a new company policy now uses “thou shalt” language so off to Hertz I go. I’m a Gold Plus Rewards member, so in large airports I get to pick from any car in the Gold area (like National Emerald Aisle, but way worse). I get to the Gold area and there are five cars and people just standing around in the middle of the lot with their luggage and angry looks on their faces. Five cars – no keys. 75 minutes later I finally leave in a rental car, which upon return I found they charged me for things I explicitly declined during the reservation process like roadside coverage and supplemental insurance. Hertz sucks.
Jason, I will be honest with you, I’m not going to watch the Brady videos. The man could QB a football team, but he is NOT a normal human. Maybe it is because in from Western NY originally and have watched the Bills in their glory days and in the dark times of the 2000’s, but I cannot stand Tom Brady as a human. He makes my skin crawl.
Wonder if the cops will arrest Brady for having “stolen” a rental car that he already returned? A true Hertz Donut for any old-school Colts fan.
I was struck by this from the 1964 commercial: “If you wish, take up to twenty months to pay with the new Hertz revolving credit plan.” Just how much did it cost to rent that Impala convertible?
Like him or loathe him, the man can’t act. You should call him and tell him. Oh wait, he lost his phone!
God, those recent commercials are annoying. So annoying that Hertz should be turned into a pillar of salt (even though the last person you did that to was pretty much innocent). I’m so glad I don’t watch TV (my TV is my downstairs computer monitor). I do sometimes see stupid stuff online (in spite of my ad-blockers) and with Youtube ads, but mostly I can bleep them.
One of the things that really bugged me on the EV one was that he was driving the EV to Denver (no? It’s been a few weeks since I saw it) and I remember thinking to myself “who rents an EV to drive to Denver? Where are they coming from?” I imagine it’s not bad to drive a EV around Denver, but it’s nowhere near basically any other major city – is someone seriously going out of their way to try to road trip in an EV from Chicago or SFO or something? That would take DAYS with all of the charging stops! Unless that dumb “show” is being filmed in Cheyenne, there’s basically no way he’s getting there on a single charge.
That was exactly what bugged me about the EV one.
Colorado Springs? You’ll be stunned by which major cities are smaller, both in square miles and population. That said, nobody flies to Colorado Springs to visit Denver. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_cities_by_population
I can see flying out of Colorado Springs to avoid DIA. Air travel in Colorado and surrounding states basically involves a stop in Denver. You’d be spending money to avoid Denver.
Years ago I worked it out to find the magic number: 70. If a ticket was 70 dollars more to fly from COS you’d come out ahead on gas and parking. Today I’d be willing to bump that number up to avoid DEN because by comparison COS is a magical experience.
DIA wasn’t fun under normal operation, but during the current construction, it’s extremely unpleasant. I live in Tucson now, smaller airport, it’s a pleasure.
Agree with everyone who mentioned Hertz’s issues with falsely reporting car theft. If someone’s going to be talking to Tom Brady about Hertz in an ad, verisimilitude demands that he be on the opposite side of a plexiglass window in a jail’s visiting room. And when that campaign is done, they could revive the old “Let Hertz put you in the driver’s seat!” campaign by yanking that mid-century couple out of their rented Chevy and into the pokey. They could offer up prepaid bail along with the insurance at the counter and just be killin’ it – at which point they can bring O.J. back.
The first time I saw it I thought the host actually hated tom Brady and was putting in a car to “go” somewhere else, since Tom Brady was shouting “let’s go” in their other commercials like he invented the catch phrase. I was hoping it was finally his time to get gone.
That’s not the worst commercial with Tom Brady. This is the worst commercial with Tom Brady: https://youtu.be/WtPvQ6OQU5I?si=glKqSitAxg3nI_Hh
Fuck Hertz and the jackass they rode on.
With these extremely annoying and extremely repetitive commercials sometimes you have to mute them and look at the cars in the background.
I think this diabetes drug commercial has a Nissan Figaro in the background.
I don’t get hiring a hated figure to advertise rental cars. Just use Hitler. I bet TB is hated more and costs more. Now follow me I admit TB is the greatest QB ever. I bet Bellichek will admit it now too. But the Patriots and TB are not my teams so I hate him. But that’s not all I respect his awesome talent too. But the man is gorgeous, he could be dumb as a post and make an easy living modeling and make millions But no a excellent athlete. Then he is banging super models actresses because rich, good looking, and famous. But then marries Giselle Bunchen, super model extraordinaire. Gets to hit that and have kids and even the paparazzi loves this couple. So many happy married years but love goes south and they get divorced. This SOB despite making millions has a gorgeous wife who still treats him well but makes more money than he does so he probably can get alimony. WTF Noone deserves this it’s like hitting powerball and megamillions every drawing. Yeah I hate the commercials too.
I really hope Mahomes wins 6 Super Bowls so people will stop calling TB the GOAT. Patrick seems like a nicer guy and definitely has more charisma in commercials. Just ask Jake from State Farm.
I don’t see any proof TB is not a great guy. I am a Steelers fan and we list many games to him so I hate him, not his fault.I can admit he is great. I also know about nothing of Mahomes except the social media coverage of his wife and brother. They are not nice people. Living off his name while being shit.
“These Tom Brady Fake-Talk-Show Hertz Car Rental Ads Fill Me With Rage And I Can’t Figure Out Why”
Maybe it’s because they don’t articulate the WHOLE truth about Hertz… specifically the part about falsely reporting cars stolen and getting their customers arrested.
And tied in with that, how they managed to turn local police into their personal vehicle recovery employees.
And how they weren’t held accountable or made to pay for all the costs tied to these false reports/arrests.
What’s rage inducing about them is the number of repetitions that Hertz seems to be pushing. Seeing an annoying ad a few times is an inconvenience of modern life. Seeing an annoying ad hundreds time is an inescapable nightmare.
i wonder if herz will still accept ftx tokens, probably not
It would be more realistic if she said, “OK, so the reservation says you’ve reserved a Corolla or similar. And you’re going to be driving off in ….(drumroll) A MITSUBISHI MIRAGE G4!!!”
it’s Hertz, so consciousless corporate profit-seeking which ruins people’s lives.. how many were arrested for renting a Hertz car ?
it’s Tom Brady, so a Trump-friend
with added vacuousness from the ersatz talkshow format !
I get ill just thinking about all that, don’t even need to watch the ad. Your response is the correct one.
It would be much better if Hertz sponsored a PSA staring Tom talking about the importance of Tire inflation.
It’s the frequency.
*rimshot*
I know why. It’s because Tom Brady is a shit stain and his face causes instant revulsion in normal humans.