I’m halfway through a ridiculous ordeal to get home from Portland, as I sit typing this in the Humphrey terminal at MSP. I’m very much looking forward to getting back to ground-based transportation at this point, no matter its condition. I found these two scruffy rascals in a search last night, and they still look interesting, so I’ll run with them.
How do you choose a project car? Prevailing wisdom says it should be something you truly love, so that you are willing to weather the storms that inevitably come with fixing up an old car. But that’s not much help if, like me, you’re more or less agnostic in your love of cars. Before I bought my MGB, I looked at a Volvo 122, a Sunbeam Alpine GT, and a Porsche 924, and inquired after a bunch more, including a Lancia Beta, a Mustang II, and a second-generation Camaro. I have no brand loyalty; I just like what I like.
Once something catches your eye, though, that’s when the real danger sets in. You have to approach any prospective project car with as clear of a head as you can manage, and consider the worst possible outcome, rather than just hoping for the best. The Volvo I looked at ran all right, but had no floors – and I don’t know how to weld. So it was out. The Porsche was the opposite; it was rust-free and shiny, but ran on three cylinders. And that poor old Sunbeam still surfaces on Craigslist in the Pacific Northwest once in a while. I don’t think anyone has gotten it back on the road yet. I thought my MG was a safe bet, until the radiator blew on the drive home.
The two cars I’m going to show you today couldn’t be more different. One is a stodgy sedan with a busted transmission, and the other is a sports car that has been transformed into someone’s vision of something. Spend time getting either one of them back on the road, however, and you’ll know a thing or two about old cars. That much is certain. Let’s check them out.
1974 Volvo 164E – $1,000
Engine/drivetrain: 3.0-liter OHV inline 6, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Orlando, FL
Odometer reading: 120,000 miles
Operational status: Runs well, but has transmission issues – must be towed
Volvo is often seen as a luxury brand, but if you’re familiar with its cars, especially older ones like this, you’d know they’re not really luxurious. The’re just nice, and well-built. But come to think of it, quality was something of a luxury in the world of 70s automobiles, when so few had it, so I guess you could say this is a luxury car. The 164 is definitely a step fancier than its other models, aimed squarely at BMW and Mercedes.
In place of the typical four-cylinder, the 164 features an inline six. This is a later E model, with fuel injection. The seller says it runs well, and in fact it was daily-driven until a year ago. Unfortunately, like too many US-spec models, this 164 has an automatic transmission, and even more unfortunately, it’s a Borg-Warner 35, the official poster child of “eh, good enough” when it comes to optional automatics in European cars in the 70s. Predictably, it’s trashed, has no reverse, and it sounds like it slips going forward. The seller was planning a four-speed manual conversion, but has not been able to locate a pedal assembly to complete it. They fear some custom work might be necessary. It doesn’t sound like a bolt-in conversion.
It’s rough inside, a victim of many years of regular use. This was the loaner car for a Volvo dealership in the 80s, and getting passed around like that is tough on a car’s upholstery. The dash top has seen better days as well. Restoration parts are available for other Volvos; it should be possible to track down what this one needs.
Another thing it needs is rust repair; the tin worm has been chewing away at the floors and rocker panels for some time now. But hey, the price of entry is low enough. Make this the car that gets you to learn how to weld. And when that’s done, you can try your hand at a DIY paint job, too.
1986 Pontiac Fiero SE – $2,500
Engine/drivetrain: 2.8-liter OHV V6, four-speed manual, RWD
Location: Greenwood, IN
Odometer reading: 166,000 miles
Operational status: Not running, needs fuel pump
Selling a customized car is a dangerous business. It’s such a personal endeavor, and your tastes are unlikely to align perfectly with someone else’s. So if you’re going to customize a car, you’re better off doing it for yourself, rather than expecting to turn a profit. And it’s also better if you finish it before trying to sell it, because it’s even more unlikely that someone else is going to want to continue the work to realize your vision. Witness this hopefully one-of-a-kind Pontiac Fiero.
The seller calls this car a GT, but it isn’t. In 1986 the GT version of the Fiero received its own unique body panels, with a fastback silhouette created by long flying buttresses and quarter windows on either side of the engine cover. This is the typical “notchback” Fiero shape, marking it as a base or SE model. Since it has the V6 engine, I’m assuming it’s an SE. It still has the old Muncie four-speed manual, which means it’s an ’86 from early in the year, as well. The engine and transmission have been rebuilt, but the car currently needs a new fuel pump to run.
There are a lot of strange little details about the interior of this car that you’d probably have to have the seller explain to you. The row of switches behind the shifter are for the air-ride suspension, I imagine, but I don’t know what the red button on the side of the shifter does. I like to think it activates a smoke screen, or an ejector seat on the passenger’s side, but it’s probably nothing that cool.
Who else remembers the old MPC “Golden Opportunity” model kits from the 1980s? Because that’s what this car reminds me of on the outside. You could either build the car stock, or add on a bunch of custom bric-a-brac to the outside. This looks like it takes its inspiration from the “Custom” version of the Fiero on the box. It has a cowl-induction hood, which is ridiculous because the engine and its air intake are in the back, but it also has those two huge air scoops sticking up over the roof, which may or may not be functional. The door handles have been shaved, too, a detail I have never understood. And at the moment, it looks like the entire thing is finished in flat black.
The sellers of both of these cars had a vision for them, and it’s a vision you’ll have to share to some degree to get them back on the road. One of them needs a transmission swap and some rust repair, and the other technically only needs a new fuel pump, from the sound of it, but there is a lot of work done that you may wish to undo. Either way, you can dip your toes into both mechanical repair and body work with either one of them. Which one will it be?
The Fiero has a rebuilt engine AND transmission… but they never bothered to R&R the fuel pump, so that it could be driven??!! I guess the biggest job was just too big… that thing is a strong NO, unless you need a parts car.
The demand for ’74 Volvos is a bit past its peak… however, the wheels and tires themselves are probably worth close to the asking price.
So the dilemma is which non-running car do you want? Even for free, both are a gamble and have guaranteed expenses and work to make them usable. So the Volvo it is, because there is too much to distrust with the Fiero.
“Just drop an LS in it!” I could respect myself in the morning if I took the Volvo home, addressed the major rust areas and used POR-15 to arrest the tinworm otherwise, and ended up being forced to swap out the drivetrain because even my friend, a very talented transmission mechanic, cannot resurrect the BW auto. At $1000 buy-in, the only budget swap I can think of would be a Chevy 3.4 V6/Auto combo out of a Catfish Camaro, because they are available and narrow enough for the engine bay. Overall, I’m not enthused enough by Volvos to make that kind of effort, so if the BW automatic is DOA, the Volvo becomes a pass-through project.
Jerry Jeff Walker sang the praises of those who are unfettered by societal sartorial norms with the refrain, “I like my women a little on the trashy side/when they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed”. His celebration of those who delight in bold outward appearances applies to the other vehicle, which has many monikers to suit its duties; “Imperial Cosplay Shuttle” (Mandalorian Helmet behind seat, and Information Society CD permanently stuck in receiver: red button on shifter is “warp drive”); “St. Dymphna’s Chariot” (Poetry by Aaron Smith, Natalie Diaz, and Sylvia Plath are “casually” placed on the dashboard, and one day, that emo slam poet will see them and be eagerly waiting to engage in hours of soul-baring bliss; it’s not just a crush!”); and, “Doc Brown’s WageWagon” (Information Society still stuck in CD player and volume stuck on loud; other Domino’s Drivers play Huey Lewis songs as they leave and stick “Back to the Future III” quotes on the windshield). There is no one with a ready and uncommitted $2500 in cash who will EVER buy this. Even the owner’s younger sibling, who is intimidated by the family goldfish, mocks the owner of this…creation. The owner will just have to spend another semester in the basement of the family home and mow lawns until they save up the $175 for the pump and agree to play a full game of “Risk” with their sketchy, but mechanically inclined, cousin in exchange for help replacing the pump. Luckily, the owner has never been solvent to the degree that they could afford the luxury of a full tank of gas, so the tank is likely close to empty.
*FULL DISCLOSURE” Someone I once knew rattle-canned a 1982 Escort Flat Black, tinted the windows themselves, pinstriped the tail lights, headlights and mirrors, installed a Kraco AM/FM cassette stereo and added a Realistic “sound booster with graphic equalizer” in line with the two speakers, covered the front seats with black velour “comfort covers” from Pep Boys, and used the red film sold to cover damaged brake lights to shade the dome light. That person offered to give the car to a cousin for free, but that cousin preferred walking to be identified with that car. Jerk. At least the Escort owner got a lot of practice painting Von Dutch style pinstriping…
I have a bit of nostalgia for the Volvo, having learned to drive in a 74 164E, but I had enough rust the first time around. It did have leather seats, but hand cranked windows so luxury was relative.
Fiero TIE Advanced x1 Edition.
The only reason I’m voting for the Volvo is because it is stock and it’s the cheapest option of the day. I really don’t want either.
The Volvo wins by default for being smog exempt, and then again because I like it better.
For me, I’ll take the Volvo over the molested Fiero. It’s cheaper and not molested.
And from there, I’d decide whether to just part it out or put in all the work needed to make it decent. And I predict it will need a ton of work.
While I don’t like what’s been done to the Fiero, at least it’s been done well. The crunchy firewall on the Volvo is just too much.
Neither!
I’m amazed by the Volvo interior.. Not the condition, but the design, that dash looks a god decade and a half before it’s time. So clean and modern
At 1st I was gonna go Volvo, but gotta go Fiero. I still like that classic Volvo, but no thanks to the transmission/rust issues. The Fiero is stick, has had the engine AND transmission rebuilt, and looks cool and fun. I will thoroughly enjoy driving it!
What is it with Volvo floorboards of that era? I knew a couple of people in Cleveland back in the early 90s who had to have remedial metal welded into place. I mean I know salt. But on most cars, it was fenders and sills, not the freakin’ floor where you know, rest your feet. It’s not supposed to be a Flintstone-mobile.
Still, the 164s has a certain elegance and that Fiero doesn’t, so I’ll take the project from Gothenburg.
No thanks.
Fiero fiero fiero!
So, that Volvo has a motor that is basically built for tractors/industrial/marine use.
B30 engine had timing gears/pushrod valvetrain (at least in some versions) and was used in the Volvo C303/304 military trucks that look a lot like Pinzgauers.
Volvo FTW.
Didn’t wanna vote either—but went with the Volvo cause, if it doesn’t work out as a street ride, you can always cage it and throw yourself on the mercy of the Lemons judges. Throw some obscure combo in there for the first race, get in on laughter & pity, then build an old flathead just to keep it slightly odd
I’d keep the B30, it’s actually the best thing about the car. You’re looking at an easy 200hp/200ftlb with a cam and bolt-ons.
https://vp-autoparts.com/en/artiklar/camshaft-kit-volvo-b30-profile-k.html
225hp with 45mm carbs:
https://m.youtube.com/@fransson164
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IlRjIHeykls
Ewww Mark, MPC? All the cool kids built Monogram kits.
Heeeyyy, don’t dish on MPC! You wanna dump on something, head over to the Lindbergh Line.
Mark, please stop posting hacked up Fieros! I weep when I see this kind of BS. They are pretty the way they are. That said I voted for it, you can un do lots of the customizations and a maco paint job. That volvo looks trashed and boring with that trans.
Damn. This is definitely a ‘Neither’ sort of day, but gun to my head, I voted Volvo. It is a worthless basket case, but at least everything is where Volvo left it, unlike the butchered Fierro. Ultimately the instinct to never touch another person’s unfinished “custom” project trumps all else.
It’s too bad this one is so far gone- The 164 is a neat car, and quite fun to drive. 160-175hp was no joke for the mid 70s. A comparatively light weight and 5-link rear end allow this stately saloon to legitimately outperform many “performance” vehicles of the day.
Unfortunately, the baroque front makes it rather an acquired taste, especially combined with Volvo’s blocky, futuristic interior. Despite their age and apparent rarity, the 164 has just never attained any sort of desirability, at least compared to the p1800 and 122. This one is probably a parts car.
Still, maybe the angle is ditch the automatic, tack in some patches under a 50ft paint job, gut the interior and go rallying?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VoM73fquIWA
Yes.
I’m voting Volvo, but I’m not happy about it.
Put me down fer The Swede in Need.
With all its scruffy charm.
The Volvo looks like the sort of car I might pick, but the repairs needed to make it roadworthy (transmission, heater core, rust repair) are just too much. Which is a shame, because it looks like a stately beast.
So we’ll take the Fiero, which needs less work to get moving, and we’ll take our time un-f*cking the exterior.
I’ll take the b0rked Volvo over the greebled Fiero, thanks.
Volvo, and I shall name her “Sophie” because of the horrible choice I’m facing today.
The stick in the Fiero seems awfully tall. That red button is clearly their Radio Shack attempt at the “Go Baby Go” button from Gone in 60 Seconds. As the kids say, this Fiero gives me the Ick.
Is that what they say now? What happened to “mid”? I have a 13 year old and I still can’t keep up with the lingo of the youths.
I think mid = mediocre and ick = gross. My 25 year old informed me jelly is no longer in which is just as well since I would feel silly as hell asking if someone was jelly of me. Onions on the belt.
With all your new age slang. You make me jelly!!
Oh yeah, my knowledge of what the kids of today say is straight up da bomb.
In order to avoid looking or sounding sillier than normal, I avoid attempting kidspeak. I just speak normal – to me English and let them figure out what I’m trying to say.
You absolutely need to throw in a “Gag me with a spoon” response at some point. Totally 80’s.
Eh, I’ll have to go with cool or groovy bc I’m from an earlier decade, although the “gag me” does have a certain joi de vivre and captures the essence of listening to modern leet speak.
A couple of decades ago I was running a dev team of youngsters and used to toss round cool all the time. Within a couple of weeks everyone was using it. Was never sure if they where taking the piss or had adopted the line.
I’ve heard that the young people can’t read or write cursive! We’ve got our own secret language!