I know drunk driving is terrible, no question whatsoever, and no one should be so irresponsible. I think we all can agree on that. But I do have to say that watching a bunch of 1977-era British people get really liquored up and try to drive on a closed test track in a well-supervised environment in some fantastic old cars is definitely entertaining.
These sorts of tests have been done before, but I’m not sure I’ve seen a video with as much cavalier delight as this one. There’s a couple of MG drivers here (one in an MGB GT, one in a Midget) that are having fun showing off, drifting their little cars in the tight confines of those cones. And then there’s the sheer volume of the booze consumed here: the main featured drunk driver here put away four pints of beer and seven whiskies. Holy crap, that dude can drink.
Here, just watch the video:
What I’m sure you noticed first is that for a closed course type of test, this course seems to hardly be closed, as there’s a freaking dog that manages to get in there and chase the cars, especially the MGB GT, around:
Bang up job, mates! You only let one dog in there! And I can’t really tell if the driver is even aware of the dog, even when sober, as there are far too many close calls there. Or the driver really trusts that dog?
Part of the appeal of this strange little video are, of course, the cars. It’s mostly classic British iron, with one notable exception. There’s a really nice Mini, as you can see above, and it feels very at home amongst this tight and confining cone-maze that they set up here.
Also, you have to really respect these camerapeople, carrying like a dozen typewriters’ weight in video equipment on their shoulders, crouching down in front of some drunk dude in an MG, whipping the car around like crazy. How did they not get hit? Maybe they did?
The Midget driver does a good job whipping through the course, and even manages to find space to do a drift, which is fun to see. Pre-booze, of course.
They do include some footage of ’70s-era Britons getting loaded, just so you know they’re not lying, and everyone seems very brown and layered and covered in long, ’70s hair, happily putting away plenty of booze.
Here’s the lone non-UK-made car: a Beetle, what looks to be a ’68 or ’69, with those Euro-spec taillights that had amber indicators but no reverse lamps.
I think maybe the drunkest driver is the one behind the wheel of this Mark 3 Ford Cortina estate; he manages to get a cone jammed up in the wheelarch there and doesn’t seem to notice. I’m not sure if this driver is at the same four-pints-and-seven-whiskies level of the MGB GT driver, but I bet it’s at least that, which makes me impressed this dude is even able to shift into gear and remain upright in the seat.
I was excited to see this rear-engined Rootes fella in the mix; this one looks like a Sunbeam Imp Californian, one of the coupé/fastback versions of the Hillman Imp.
I’m not really sure just how scientific this test really was, but I suspect everyone had a pretty good time, and to be honest, it being 1977 and all, I wouldn’t be shocked to find after this test they just gave everyone a cup of black coffee and sent them off to drive home.
I’m late to the party here, but does anyone know why the Mark 3 Ford Cortina has double driver-side side mirrors?
I’ve never seen that before.
Might be for towing a caravan, I’ve seen some older cars with outboard fender mounted mirrors for that.
Oh! What a great twit!
Now those are some brave cameramen there.
I know this is old and from another era, but I’m still seriously outraged by them effin’ around with the dog out there. Conjures Cartman voice: I’M SO PISSED OFF!
Does anybody else remember the WKRP episode where Johnny Fever is served drinks in the name of “science” to demonstrate how alcohol impairs reaction times? Spoiler – he gets better as he gets smashed.
“I need a hat!”
The dog is like “ahh, the bloody hooman is at it again. Third time this week, and it’s only monday.”
Not British, Irish. Dublin is the capital of Ireland. Sweeter darker beer and double distilled whiskey (with an E ).
Plus at that time, able to confess every week so you could start again…
Isn’t Scotch double distilled? The Irish distillery I visited definitely had 3 separate pots and they basically admitted it was mostly to one up the Scots. 🙂
You are correct sir. Irish whiskeys tend to be triple distilled and a much simpler drinking experience to enable the practice of Irish yoga.
We practice the ‘Wisconsin open’ method of opening your beer can so it does not slosh out while your driving. Much less messy than an open pint glass.
I rarely drink beer from cans and I especially don’t drive drunk – but I’ve had enough spray from LaCroix cans in my cars to be curious as to how one executes the Wisconsin opening technique.
Just open it a slight bit, then it can jostle about and enjoy minimal mess. Not sure about LaCroix however. Works good on SxS machines too whilst bombing around on trails
Looks like another episode of Drunk (Driving) History.
Drinking was the national pastime of Great Britain for hundreds of years. The whole seafaring thing with water needing to be grogged against little nasties plus naval traditions of officers getting plastered at the many formal meals added to the crew getting their daily rum ration equals lots of folks thinking that drinking lots “as long as ya can hold it” is just fine. Their society learned that drinking doesn’t mix well with machines doing things faster than drunk reaction times.
There was a UK tv show in which the presenters lived and ate for a week as people did in various periods of British history. They were perpetually buzzed from drinking spirits at almost every meal and suffering from food coma at the unbalanced diets.
It’s a series called The Supersizers…”. It was a little bit of a takeoff of Supersize Me. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Supersizers…
Miners were often greeted with a pint as they arrived to start their day.
I wonder if the researchers or TV network paid to put a new clutch in that Cortina.
Back in those days you were doing a clutch every six months. I could probably still do it blindfolded now.
Sounds like one more thing to do when replacing wiper blades and switching between winter/summer tires.
Sorry, tyres…
We don’t really have that switching tires nonsense here. An inch of snow and the whole country grinds to a halt and we all go to the pub.
That’s like the Southern U.S. Authorities ask non-essential workers to stay home for a day or two. It’s quite nice.
Seven pints and four whiskies is what led many of us to decide to buy an MG.
Seven pints and four whiskies is what the Lucas Electronics team has for breakfast on a workday.
Seven pints and four whiskies would have been nationally accepted instead of tea in the UK had that whole Oliver Cromwell thing not happened.
Seven pints and four whiskies just shows that sometimes the Brits really can upstage George Thorogood.
Seven pints and four whiskies is what I think will bring MG back to form.
Seven pints and FIVE whiskies makes you start considering a Ssangyong Rodius.
Seven pints and five whiskies is what I need every time I look at it.
I just assumed that’s what you needed just to engage with the Slack channel.
You don’t want to see the pile of empties beside my desk.
But unlike Thorogood, they don’t drink alone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AwaV-lwDmc
Didn’t Mythbusters do something like this?
Yep, sleepy vs tipsy.
Here you go: https://youtu.be/lbGFJzY4Gmw
You have to admire seven pints and four whiskies
Don’t worry about the dog, it’s called a Shetfaced Sheepdog and it’s bred specifically to get men home between the hours of 4pm and 8pm so they’re not late for dinner.
This was actually a test of the Dublin County Council’s K9 drunk driver apprehension scheme. It did NOT go well.
I was going to say they were Irish – good spot.
Yup, it’s a snippet from Irish television…which makes it even more fitting for stereotype-based banter.
The sheer number of cars that got written off in the area I grew up by drunk drivers is impressive.
Joys of growing up rural, past 9pm basically everyone on the road was pinned. I spent some years doing the same. Then I moved away and it was put into perspective just how insane that was.
I’m from the UK, but in the late 2000’s I spent a few months working in a small town in Indiana. After 7pm all the drivers were drunk, it was genuinely shocking for me.
Because in the UK, it starts at 7 AM 🙂
Widespread lack of public transit, combined with stigmatizing alcohol until age 21, are both contributors.
When I was in college/uni, we had to drive almost everywhere, even though it was a college town (50k people, but 15+ miles across). Any public transit was during normal class hours, it was almost as if the school (and town) just wanted to ignore the reality. You could count on almost everyone after 9pm being impaired.
During that same time, I spent short summer study sessions in both Spain and in Plymouth — it’s amazing how walking a mile back to your flat/dorm/apartment is so much safer and has a sobering effect on you. Magic!
Sorry for the random rant, but the more I like cars, the less I like the drudgery of needing them for everything (and the needless danger that entails).
Never apologize, I shout (politely) at everyone I can about how cars and racing are such a fun and wonderful hobby but a car dependant society is hell to live in. Walkable/bikable towns and reliable public transit are fantastic, being able to choose to drive for pleasure makes it all the better.
Were you in southern Indiana? That part of the state is Catholic, and this seems to be the trend. The northern part is more Protestant of various forms, and doesn’t seem to be as bad.
Yeah, I was in the south.
I’d noticed a very public intolerance for blasphemy, which I’ve never seen anywhere else. And all the adult book stores just over the border with Kentucky were a clue that something weird and oppressive was going on.
Saskatchewan was the same. Summer, drinking and football. Winter, drinking and hockey. Toss in skiing and camping with drinking for some variety.
Alberta as well. I think it has to do with driving in straight lines for hours.
When my spouse moved here (Ontario) from Northern AB, she said this province feels claustrophobic because of all the trees and hills make it so you can’t see very far.
Unlike the west, where you can see next week coming at you from the horizon.
It is pool table flat in the southern parts. Up north past PA it gets good and hilly.
I did a high speed run between Regina and Moose Jaw once on my Suzuki Katana. Got it up to 145 or so before the rational part of my brain started screaming.
Yeah, Ontario and Quebec are so different from the west. Don’t miss it though.
Reminds me of the old Brent Butt joke about watching hot dog run away for three days.
I like to say the flat lands are “where you can watch your dog run away for a week”.
That province generally has the highest impaired rate in the country, on good years it is only one of the top. Heck, the current premiere has at least one on his record.
Alcoholism has always been a big problem in Saskatchewan and Alberta. In the smaller towns it’s even worse.
I survived, quite a few of my cohort didn’t. Boredom and lack of a future are often cited as the root cause.
Ralph Klein was a great role model /s.
Ahh Ralph. Drunk and yelling at homeless people in a shelter. Good times.
I’m in Ontario so can only throw so much shade. In my life we’ve had an education minister who dropped out of high school and our current premiere was a well know hash dealer in his youth. At least I’m not in Toronto so didn’t get Rob as mayor.
Pols being pols. Why do we as a collective believe anything they say. Perhaps Douglas Adams was correct about them.
username checks out…
This video seems to make the rounds every few years. Still a great watch nonetheless.
Take me drunk, occifer! I’m home!
My Dad’s favorite saying…”There’s no one driving, officer. We’re all in the back seat!”
I haven’t had a c*nt all night, drinkstable!