Dodge and Ram have long been deeply amusing brands. Dodge has seemingly placed an overpowered, snarling V8 engine into darn near everything except the Grand Caravan. Ram was quick to follow suit. Even the Dakota got a V8 when trucks like the Ranger and S-10 could only dream of such a thing. Clearly, these brands have an easy marketing strategy.
Thomas wrote about how you can already get $3,000 off a Dodge Charger Scat Pack. Taargus Taargus wondered why we still don’t have the sedan version:
Put out the sedan in the mid-40s, and I bet you can get a shocking number of parents to move on from crossover-life.
Speaking of which, Christ Stellantis, how long is it going to take you to start cranking out the sedan??? What the hell else are you up to?
Nsane In The MembraNe knows what’s up:
Dodge/RAM in 2000: WE GOT BIG HONKIN V8S FUCK YOU.
Dodge/RAM in 2010: WE GOT BIG HONKIN V8S FUCK YOU.
Dodge/RAM in 2020: WE GOT BIG HONKIN V8s FUCK YOU.
Dodge/RAM for a couple years: hey maybe give some of our other stuff a try?
Dodge/RAM in 2026: WE GOT THE SAME BIG HONKIN V8s AGAIN FUCK YOU.
Speaking of Scat Packs, Jason wrote about how some crane operators poop. Bryan:
I just read on this very site that the Scat Pack is $3,000 off right now.
Brian wrote about how Karma seems to be pretty okay with not selling a bunch of cars. FiveLiters1 points out that Karma’s CEO is pretty much the most optimistic guy in the world:
“I’ve met customers all over the country. They know my head of service by name. They know his team by name”
Maybe it’s just me, but I want the kind of car I don’t want to have in the shop so much that I know the head of service by name, IJS.
Finally, TheDrunkenWrench has been racking up COTD nominations this week, and they get another win for a comment in another COTD about my bus:
You never know if you’re gonna like bus stuff until you try it! Hopefully with an understanding partner.
Ash78:
I’m not a prude or casting judgment, but I personally draw the line at how that one door is clearly labeled “Exit Only” for a reason.
TheDrunkenWrench:
As someone who works in transit, I can confidently tell you the “exit only” sign means nothing to the general populous. Especially if they’re trying to dodge fare.
For a great many, it is exit only. To a smaller group, it’s a challenge. Don’t knock it till you try it.
Have a great evening, everyone!
This whole comment section should get a COTD.
Dodge has seemingly placed an overpowered, snarling V8 engine into darn near everything except the Grand Caravan.
Well, it didn’t get a V8, but the Grand Caravan got a spicy version of the VVT V6 in the Grand Caravan R/T which will still smoke a lot of cars today. Internally, it was nicknamed the “Man Van.” Enough that it came with “heavy duty” dual-caliper disc brakes all around grabbed from the Viper’s parts bin; it stops every bit as fast as it takes off.
My wife likes to… exercise hers at every opportunity. I get to retrieve every damn unsecured thing that winds up in the far reaches of the front or back of the van. This is definitely not a family-friendly minivan; you’d have Goldfish crackers everywhere and kids hurling every time you took them out in the beast…
I had no idea these existed and now I want one.
THE NEW RAM V8 BRAWNDO: IT BURNS WHAT PLANTS GAVE™
It also has LED “electro-lights” to blind oncoming drivers, which in conjunction with the new Steviewander Lane Assist can help ensure you drive straight and true while everyone else around you dies slowly in a miasma of regret for their beta cuck lifestyles!
Almost spit my coffee when I read “Steviewander Lane Assist”. Great job!
Just because a new car has a groove doesn’t mean it’s in the groove. You can tell my array of LEDs are just screaming “Hey, b*tch, move!”
This is pure gold!
THE NEW RAM 6.9L BIG-D SUPERMAX HD I’LL-SHOW-YOU-TOXIC-MASCULINITY DURAPRO STRAIGHTMAN HEAVY DUTY PANTY DROPPER MAGNUM XL ULTRAGIRTH F/U: POWERED BY REAL GREEN ENERGY.
MSRP: $69,699.69 (RAM IS BACK, B*TCHES)
too much?
edit — sorry my truck name keeps getting longer (girthier?). I guess I really do want this Stellantis PR job.
Wooo! I’m driving the
VengaCOTDbus this week!Thanks again Mercedes! If you ever come on up to Canada’s capital, I’ll arrange a tour of our transit facility.
That’s going to be Washington DC pretty soon, or so I hear.
No, no, no. It is all about branding. It will be the Trump District of Canada.
He can DC Deez Canadian Nuts.
Dear Balloondoggle,
That’s not funny.
Love,
Canada
Yeah, I know. I debated whether to even post it but I’ve had my coffee now.
All good. We forgive easily when our neighbours say dumb things. As long as they apologize and don’t say them again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again….
(Also, sorry.)
Love,
Canada
I award you today’s Shit Take award, my small-peckered friend.
I regret that I cannot downvote the Venga link.
But I’m also proud to see some middle-school sodomy innuendo make COTD. We contain multitides 🙂
The sodomites are coming, and everybodys coming. New York to San Francisco, an intercity dicksco!
You explicitly called out this song, and reminded me of it, and now everyone must suffer.
ETA You’ll all be relived to know that the Vengabus has it’s own IMCD entry, it’s a 1933 Chevrolet O-Series.
Oh snap! Why DON’T we get a Hemi Caravan??
“Erm, actually, the torque steer in the regular Pentastar version is already approaching our acceptable limits of…”
PUNCH
Transverse V8 Vans for Everyone!
You are ON POINT. If I didn’t know better I’d think you were angling for a job in RAM/Dodge/Vauxhall/Whatever’s PR department.
Boy for someone who owns a Chrysler van, I sure have done well beating up Stellantis this week.
I kid because I care.
Huh. I kidded because I wasn’t careful enough.
…and that’s how you end up with a Chrysler van.
A condom would have prevented that car.
Probably shoulda bought the weekend pack.
Jokes aside, I probably would have bought a van anyway.
With what airbrushed on the sides?
Windows or no windows?