We Have The Definitive ‘David Watches Star Wars’ Plan: COTD

Whew, we made it to the end of the day. And what a weird day it was, with stories running the gamut from cats on roller skates, to classic British marques teaming up with science-fiction film staples, and a look into the world of trash-can customizing – among other topics. As usual, the funniest/smartest/bested readers on the internet (you, silly) came through with quality commentary.

The Bishop turned us onto 3D-printed dressup wheels (well, wheel covers) for trash and recycling wheelie bins, in styles ranging from Volk TE37s to gold printed (not plated) spoke jobs and swangas. SoCoFoMoCo was quick to point out that no matter what you bolt your cool wheels onto, you’re gonna get cool-wheel problems:

SoCoFoMoCo
The last thing I need is to come out Wednesday morning and find all of my trash bins up on cinder blocks.

FormerTXJeepGuy
Kinda tempted to get the Swangers so my neighbors know we moved here from Houston.

Paul E
New business opportunity: Trash can rim rentals…

Alexk98
$40-60 for 3D printed trash with AI generated marketing materials is honestly laughable in general, but the print quality they advertise is abysmal by even the lowest-level hobbyist standards. A $500 Bambu printer with medium detail could do better than those H-Town Spokes, and for $3 worth of filament. And in terms of 3D modeling complexity, this is very simple. Its a neat idea but screw this company up, down, left, right and sideways.

Sir, this is 3D printing. I think what you meant to say was, “Screw this company X-axis, Y-axis, and Z-axis.”

The Bish also handled Autopian Asks today, and wondered Does Driving A Certain Car Make You Dress A Particular Way? Quite a few of you went directly to the Corvette stereotype, which exists for a reason.

AngryBob
I wore white New Balance sneakers during the time I had a C5 Corvette, and I didn’t even know that was a stereotype.

          MyMustangBestMustang
          Moth to a flame lol

John piped in with a two-wheeled attire that was absolutely a thing and continues to boggle my mind to this day. Safety considerations aside, shiting a motorcycle in flip-flops has gotta hurt, no? Anyway, it’s a nice lead-in for an insight into the world of Ural ownership, which I’m sure is spot-on:

John
Back in the 90’s i swear 9 out of 10 GSX-R (Gixxer) riders wore the same outfit: t-shirt, shorts, flipflops, and Oakleys (always freakin’ Oakleys).

          Jon L
          Yes, I always dress for the crash. I am the guy who drives
the Ural (motorcycle w/sidecar)

          Bags
          Plus you need a jacket that will fit the flask of vodka and tin of herring.

          Jon L
          Absolutely not comrade! There is a tool box sunk into the top of the
gas tank, this is where the flask goes; easier to reach and the cops never check.
The jerry can you see mounted to the sidecar actually contains a micro full service
bar. The luggage rack easily carries several cases of beer or wine, and the sidecar
itself can easily hold a full keg.

Moments before news of Jensen Huang resigning as CEO of Nvidia, Matt’s TMD mused on the idea of the philandering founder taking on the top job at Tesla. I believe this was the best bit:

Rippstik
I mean, Tesla has already done the models: S, 3, X and Y
Now, introducing the models: C, H, 3(redesigned), A, T and R (for Roadster, of course)

Huang running Tesla would be a big affair

And finally, Matt used the news of Aston Martin’s team-up with Star Wars to discuss the need for our amusingly pop-culture-deprived Editor In Chief to finally get hip to the film that kicked off the bazillion-dollar, decade-spanning franchise. Sid Bridge came through with the master plan for consumption of the entire saga:

Sid Bridge
This is to the point where it needs to be handled properly, possibly as some kind of intervention. There’s just too much here that can go wrong.

1. First, David needs to be put in isolation. If there’s any chance of keeping some of the plot under wraps, we should take it.
2. Second… and I can’t stress this enough… Get the theatrical version. David shouldn’t have his movie experience ruined by a certain gangster showing up and getting stepped on or an unwelcome “maclunkey”.
3. David’s needs must be tended to so his attention doesn’t divert from the movie. Snacks that can be chewed quietly are paramount. I’m open to any discussions of a catheter but we can cross that bridge when we get there.
4. David will be happy when he sees how rusty some of the droids are. That means we only need to get him about ten minutes into the movie and he’s hooked for good.
5. This is not a one-day event. Under no circumstances is David allowed to watch Star Wars without having a plan in place to watch The Empire Strikes Back and return of the Jedi.
6. Long-term plans must be contemplated. He will need to rewatch the original trilogy but start by watching Rogue One right before Star Wars. Once he’s done that, we can begin the adjudication process for what comes next (The prequels vs. the JJ sequels).
7. A second long-term plan will have to be in place once David has seen The Phantom Menace and The Rise of Skywalker so that David can deal with his feelings of hatred and betrayal from the franchise. Typically, this is cured by watching the entire Mandalorian series.
8. David will need a long vacation after this is done to get all the Star Wars references out of his system, lest we get peppered with articles where he starts comparing Jeeps with B-Wing fighters.
9. Once David’s vital signs are back to normal and his heart is once again working without the aid of a pacemaker, we can discuss some of the cartoons and other series.
10. Important caveat: It’s possible David may discover during this process that he is actually a Trekkie. If he needs to escape to the optimism and science of the Star Trek franchise, that’s ok and everyone needs to accept that. In a world where Ford and Chevy have always shared a NASCAR track, we can co-exist.

Have a great evening, everyone!

Top graphic images: Lucasfilm/Disney; The Autopian