Don’t ask me what the scenario is where The Autopian is somehow empowered to force everyone to get a pickup truck and why we’re not forcing you to buy something more on-brand for us (for example, the weirdest shitbox within your Facebook Marketplace range settings), but go with me here.
You’re getting a pickup truck. Whether or not you need one doesn’t matter. Heck, let’s even say it’s on the government’s dime, so don’t worry about whatever your cash flow situation is. You’re getting a pickup truck. And by “pickup truck,” I mean anything with a bed that a regular person would say is a pickup truck, even if they have to squint a bit. So, no utes, but Autopian Asks isn’t very big on rules, so don’t expect the Comment Cops to bust in if you start talking cars with beds attached.
That said, some people– probably not you, but some people – will decry trucks like the Ford Maverick, Honda Ridgeline, and Hyundai Santa Cruz as mere cars with beds attached, because they’re not body-on-frame and don’t have a solid rear axle. To which I say: nah, they’re pickup trucks. And of those three, it’s probably the Maverick for me, even though I chose a Ridgeline for the topshot. I’m not a big fan of driving pickups when they aren’t actively doing truck things, so the more car-like a truck is, the better. And the lower the better, too.
But that’s just me. Maybe this is your chance to get a mucho-macho lifted truck just for lulz. Perhaps you’d like to go full cowboy Cadillac, since value and practicality are only as much of the discussion as you want them to be. Or maybe … I dunno, I’m asking.
If you must have a truck lest you run afoul of the truck-having police, which do you choose?
Top graphic image: Honda
If I must have a truck, there are only four possible answers here: Comanche, GMT400, Slate, or Maverick. And the choice depends on circumstances.
Comanche: I already own an EV of some sort, so a non-kei vehicle purchase doesn’t need to be an EV. Going to be my first choice by default because I love them.
GMT400: I manage to get ahold of the one I used to have that belonged to my grandfather, but is least likely of the four.
Slate: I don’t yet own an EV and grab one to fill the appliance role I’d really love to have a second vehicle for right now. Some days I really just want something silent for the work commute and I still benefit from rain being able to clean the bed.
Maverick: I decide to go for a street truck that can still tow a kei car. It must be teal with white turbofan wheels, non-negotiable.
What would I do with a thrd truck? I have a ’64 F100 coach-built crewcab and a ’92 F350 longbed dually crewcab, so perhaps something 4WD since neither are now? Well now, a truck version of the Unimog then!
Def the Rivian, especially in green, although I haven’t driven it. I am 100% in the target demo of their marketing, and I’ve been smitten since they first announced it.
I almost dont want to drive one. What if I hate the asinine vent controls? It would pop the bubble.
Fine!!! If I MUST have a truck and someone else is paying, I’m gonna get a Rivian R1T.
100% the new Scout
I have a 2024 Nissan Frontier PX4 as a company car. Not a truck guy but have occassional needs for truck things. It’s my daily and my only complaint is that it could be a little bigger inside. So I’ll take a crew cab F150.
Daily – 06 Colorado 4 banger with 3 pedals and about to tick off 200k.
Backup – 15 GMC 2500 crew cab long bed 6.0 gasser 4×4, already well past 200k. The mini truck does 90% of what I need, but as a contractor sometimes only a big truck will do.
You’re paying for my trucks now? I’ll swap the Chevy for a Slate and get a slightly less-worn version of the GMC with a diesel…
Slate.
I’m half-tempted to say a giant jacked-up brodozer just for the fun of it. But I don’t want to climb into that and I do not want to drive it. From what I’ve driven in the past, jacked-up trucks with big off-road tires do not have very good road manners and have terrible visibility. That’s a little further than I’m willing to go for a joke.
If y’all are paying for it, Rivian R1T. If it’s my money, I’m going to try and find the nicest 1990-1993 Mazda B2600i I can find.
I need a truck for my work so I would go classic and buy this beautiful 1985 Dodge Ram W250 long bed with the Prospector package. It’s just the 318 but 26,600 miles for $28,000!
1985 Dodge Ram W250 | GR Auto Gallery
Have a 18 F150 single cab shortbed 4 wd, which does everything I need it to do. My favorite was my 98 F150 STX single cab shortbed, I’d like to do one with a coyote motor.
If I must, but I get to pick the options.
1. 62 Chevrolet C-10 pickup. Jade green
2. OM606 Mercedes’ diesel with turbo and mechanical pump.
3. rear suspension and diff from an irs ford product with lsd and 2.73 ratio
4. 8HP70 8 spd auto.
5. BMW 3-Series seats recovered in chocolate colored leather and matching interior.
6. New wiring, ecu, power windows and hvac.
7. F&R disc brake upgrade
8 . OZ futura wheels
9. Teak floorboards in pickup deck.
I think I could drive this.
Merc G 6×6
Manual Diesel squarebody. Maybe late-80’s? No dualies.
2006 Toyota Tundra 4WD Lucchese edition. Black would be awesome but not a must.
Toyota made a special edition pickup truck to honor a crime family?
lol no, Lucchese is a famous (at least I thought was famous enough) boot company from San Antonio, Texas that is now based out of El Paso. Toyota partnered with them to make a leather interiors with ostrich leather accents. Not sure if the rest of the leather interior was sourced from Lucchese. Not everyone’s cup of tea but I certainly like it. Never heard of a crime family of these same name though, looking into it now!
Literally one of the five families. I have never heard of the leather company, but would be very cautious dating a woman with that last name.
Give me a 2CV pickup so I can increase Autopian Grandfather Clock transportation by at least 200%
I would probably get a Hummer EV pickup. My wife has been lusting after those since they came out.
I think I would have to choose a Rivian R1T and I don’t even think its close. I don’t need to tow anything, but I do enjoy going off the beaten path from time to time. Doing that with a deceptively fast electric truck that doesn’t look like a bro-dozer and has great tech.. I’m in.
I have a Ridgeline now that I bought in 2022. When the Gen 3 comes out, I’ll probably get that. It’s been the perfect truck for me – as in: I don’t usually need a truck but it comes in handy sometimes, often enough that I’d rather have a truck than an SUV.
My days of carrying around kids’ soccer teams ended almost a decade ago, so no more third row. I keep tools and golf clubs in the Ridgeline’s locking trunk. The truck bed carries work supplies, yard waste, beach gear, bikes, and whatever when needed.
If new is in the rules, I’ll be boring and choose a 2WD Maverick.
If old and paid for by someone else, why not a Lamborghini LM002?
Subaru BRAT for me.
I’ve already got an old c10… So maybe another C10? Would love a 73-75 short box with a zl1 and a 4 spd. Or a dz302 and a 4spd… Actually, I swear I watched a vid somewhere about a 67-72 c10 re-imagined as a sport truck with a bunch of 1st gen z/28 stuff, called it a c/28. I’ll take that.
Pretty happy with my Silverado 1500 Turbomax TBH.
$300 I no longer posses says it will be a … Slate
It would have to be a maverick hybrid for the gas mileage.
Or the Viper motor V10 truck with a stick shift. For the same reason.