Don’t ask me what the scenario is where The Autopian is somehow empowered to force everyone to get a pickup truck and why we’re not forcing you to buy something more on-brand for us (for example, the weirdest shitbox within your Facebook Marketplace range settings), but go with me here.
You’re getting a pickup truck. Whether or not you need one doesn’t matter. Heck, let’s even say it’s on the government’s dime, so don’t worry about whatever your cash flow situation is. You’re getting a pickup truck. And by “pickup truck,” I mean anything with a bed that a regular person would say is a pickup truck, even if they have to squint a bit. So, no utes, but Autopian Asks isn’t very big on rules, so don’t expect the Comment Cops to bust in if you start talking cars with beds attached.
That said, some people– probably not you, but some people – will decry trucks like the Ford Maverick, Honda Ridgeline, and Hyundai Santa Cruz as mere cars with beds attached, because they’re not body-on-frame and don’t have a solid rear axle. To which I say: nah, they’re pickup trucks. And of those three, it’s probably the Maverick for me, even though I chose a Ridgeline for the topshot. I’m not a big fan of driving pickups when they aren’t actively doing truck things, so the more car-like a truck is, the better. And the lower the better, too.
But that’s just me. Maybe this is your chance to get a mucho-macho lifted truck just for lulz. Perhaps you’d like to go full cowboy Cadillac, since value and practicality are only as much of the discussion as you want them to be. Or maybe … I dunno, I’m asking.
If you must have a truck lest you run afoul of the truck-having police, which do you choose?
Top graphic image: Honda
Ford Maverick, it’s all I’d really need
I have been informed that my previous answer was incorrect and what the driveway really needs is a 4WD kei truck with a dumper bed.
I am shocked and appalled that only one other commenter mentioned the G63 6×6.
Appalled.
That, for me, is at one extreme of a list that would also include many things mentioned here:
5MT turbo’d Baja
’96 single/long F150 V8 4×4
’26 F350KR crew/long 7.3
FP700
I have always dreamed of ute-tifying a small boxy crossover for homebrew microtruck shenanigans, such as a Renegade or first-gen Forester. Would that count?
If it had to be brand new it would be a frontier quad cab with the long bed. I probably would just get a 2wd don’t really need to go off road.
If i was going used I would probably get one of the last 2 years nissan Titans. I just love how it’s not trying to be some ultra luxury full of tech monster just a simple truck.
If money was no object … a Dually preferably a ram with a stick shift but the f350 with the 7.3l “Godzilla” engine would also be fine. I drove a 12 foot uhaul coast to coast last year with a detuned version of that engine and never once really wanted more power.
I’m driving the best pickup truck in the world. 2008 Dodge (last year it wasn’t a Ram) 4WD, 8 foot bed, 2 person cab, 409ci diesel, 5 speed manual with a granny, powerful Jake Brake.
Unimog.. Did it come as a pickup?
What do you mean, “No utes”? I already own an El Camino as well as a regular-cab GMC Canyon. My El Camino can haul more stuff under the tonneau cover than most modern trucks with tonneau covers.
https://www.elcaminocentral.com/attachments/1785429498613-png.180461/
Ridgeline. Comfortable. Trunk. Two way tailgate. Rear seats fold up. Great for my tools (carpenter), bikes and most importantly, my pup. Previous owner of a 90s Ranger (criminally uncomfortable seats) and two Tacos. Ridgeline wins hands down. I don’t tow small houses behind me so the 5000lb limit is fine.
I’ve already got mine! 2000 Subaru Sambar 4wd, A/C, rear engine with fuel injection and manual transmission-perfection, for me.
I have pickup but if you’re offering a Chevy Silverado 1/2 ton diesel is appealing or possibly a Colorado diesel.
If anything goes, the next last generation Mazda B series diesel as the last Mazda/Ford platform since the current Mazda pickup is a,rebadged Isuzu. Or just for laughs, does a HiAce crew cab with a drop side count as a pickup?
Toyota Hilux turbodiesel manual for me please 😉 Nowhere did you say it has to be a US market truck.
I’d have to get a Kei truck or maybe a slate. My driveway is only 14 feet long.
If I’m not paying for it, check all the option boxes of a Rivian and drop it off at my house.
Already have mine. Maverick.
If it has to be new then my vote is the Alpha Wolf Electric Truck (yes I know it doesn’t exist technically). If I can have older then I would want a late 90s/early 2000s Toyota pick-up with a 5-speed manual and ideally a Hilux imported from overseas so that I could get a diesel.
Dodge Dakota Sport Convertible, with the manual transmission, 4WD and roll bar. I saw one of these a few years ago and I loved it. Sure, it might be impractical as a truck, but who cares? It looks cool.
Make mine the fanciest F-150 Powerboost, with all the battery benefits for camping (and towing) that my current 2017 Subaru Outback lacks. And make it tutone blue with custom white side like those in the 1970s…
As it’s free, I’ll pay the extra for crappy gasoline mpgs.
I know you said no utes, but I’m picking the most pick up of the utes, the Holden “one Tonner”, ideally an HQ with a 308 V8, bench seat and 4 on the floor manual
I see your pickup-ified ute, and respond with a ute-ified pickup: a Ford F-100 unibody.
GMT400 Chevy K1500. Regular cab, long bed, dark green metallic with chrome bumpers.
Same here, except in burgundy like the ’97 I owned…
Rivian R1T — I recently got to drive in a friend’s Rivian, and was very impressed by how thoughtful everything was designed. 800 horsepower, loads of secure storage, and free of the unnecessary visual aggression of most modern trucks.