One of my favorite things about car enthusiasm the way The Autopian practices it is that you aren’t required to be enthusiastic about stereotypical “enthusiast” cars. Sure, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with loving a Mazda Miata or the latest Lamborghini, but there’s nothing that says that you can’t also love cars that were never built or marketed towards enthusiasts. Heck, they might even be practically anti-enthusiast. Pete lusts for a plain-jane Dodge Omni like the one in the topshot, no “GLH model of course” qualification. Which has me wondering: What’s the least “car-enthusiasty” car that you’re in love with?
To clarify this question a bit, we’re not just looking for only the everyday normal cars. We want to know about the cars that no stereotypical enthusiast would ever think of as something to fall in love with. We want to see the people who go gaga over Saturn Outlooks, Chevrolet Captivas, Ford Fusions, Nissan Altimas, Kia Rios, and Hyundai Accents.
I reached a point sometime last year when I realized that I love way more cars than I currently own. So, whenever I thought about a car, bus, truck, plane, or motorcycle that I would at least like to try out one day, I wrote it down in a list. Some of my choices are enthusiast vehicles, which isn’t that surprising. But then I realized that I have a soft spot for lots of non-enthusiast cars, too! Here’s the list as it stands today:
Now, this list is incomplete. As I said, I add to it only when I think of a vehicle that I would love to own or drive one day. I have this sort of idea that one day I’ll run into enough money and storage to just pick any vehicle from the list and buy it. Or, maybe someone will come forward with an offer to drive, ride, or fly one of these vehicles. The list also includes cars I’ve owned before and would buy again.
Some of these vehicles are definitely “me” kind of things, like the buses, German diesels, and the classic International Harvester cabover semi. But, hold on, a Saturn Vue? Yes! I’m not even talking about the slick Vue Red Line with the Honda V6, but the one that’s a sibling of the Chevy Captiva.
Why do I love this thing so much? It’s a combination of its friendly round shape and the Sea Mist Green paint option that was introduced in 2008. Amazingly, the press photos don’t show it, so I had to nab a photo from a dealer. But this paint has an awesome pearl effect when light hits it. Just look at how there’s almost a bit of a gold shade poking through the paint. I have about a hundred cars I’d rather buy before a Vue, but I admit that I stop in my tracks every time I see one for sale on Facebook in this color.
My list has other normal cars on it, too, like the Saturn Astra, Saturn SC1, and an original Kia Sportage. The Kia is probably the weirdest of the normal cars. I’m talking about this little spot utility:
The silly thing about this is that there are far better choices out there for a three-door soft-top mini SUV. I have a Geo Tracker right there on the list! There’s also the original Toyota RAV4. But I’ve always been fascinated with these original Sportages ever since I saw one absolutely conquering a mud bowl in Tennessee. That Kia somehow couldn’t be stopped that weekend.
Not on my list, but will probably be added soon, would be cars like the Dodge Omni, all sorts of Chrysler K-cars, and some American Malaise Era iron. Ah, that reminds me, I need to add a Chrysler Executive Limousine to my list.
Alright, so you’ve seen my list. What non-enthusiast cars would you love to drive one day?
Top graphic image: Chrysler
I’ve always been fascinated by semi trucks. I’ve always wanted to drive one.
Yesss, or a school bus. I want to turn that big ass wheel.
OMG I want to drive a crazy shortened full size school bus. I have this friend who seriously needs a ride.
What’s an ass wheel
iykyk
Coach bus like a Prevost.
My secret soft spot would be for large rear wheel drive American “boats”. Big Lincoln Town cars, big Oldsmobiles, Lincoln Mark III, etc.
It was an 88 and FWD, but I had the lazy boy on wheels in a giant Olds land yacht and I loved that thing. Very good choice.
Is the Citroën DS an enthusiast vehicle? If not, then that’s my vote.
If the Citroën DS is an enthusiast vehicle, then I would choose a Peugeot 504 diesel, or maybe Columbo’s Peugeot 403, which was a people’s car.
The DS would be fun, or a 2CV; I’d say you’re vaguely in the non-enthusiast realm until you get to the SM.
I’d start one rung lower with the CX.
Mercedes, you’ll get this: I miss my Scion iQ! What a fun slow-car-fast to drive! It zipped in and out of traffic, even with the CVT’s weak acceleration. Sure, it got blown around on the interstate, which is why it had to go. In retirement,I take about 6 road trips a year and it became painful to drive over the long hauls. I shudder to think how I would have made my annual trek across Texas in the iQ. Around town, it was fun to drive, especially since I could nearly touch the rear hatch! I always knew where the back of my car was 🙂
I would absolutely love to drive some of the late-80s last gasp of RWD boats, specifically a Chrysler M body (Diplomat, etc) or a Chevy Caprice. I would also put a late model Town Car on that list.
Something that came across my feed a few days ago was a Mercury Milan with a 5-Speed Manual (which is different than the Fusion’s 6-Speed!). Just seems so quirky!
I recently saw a 2009 Milan with the 5spd manual posted for $2K.
Such a rare vehicle
My friend’s girlfriend had a Fifth Avenue of that timeframe and she let me drive it once. Despite being a V8 it was bog slow. Sweet ride anyway though.
When the secondaries opened up in my ’85 Caprice’s Q-jet, it sounded fast! It would do a sweet one-wheel-peel, too.
My dad bought a brand new 1985 Fifth Avenue and flogged it for over 450,000 miles as a salesman. No, not fast, but very plush, and obviously dead-nuts reliable. The 318 LA outlived three Torqueflites before the rear main seal finally went. The navy blue leather interior was one of the cushiest luxury car interiors I’ve ever experienced – the carpet wasn’t carpet, it was like dark blue fur. And amazingly, after all those road miles full of sample cases on weekdays and part-time family sedan duty on weekends, no tears in the leather, and the furry blue carpet even still mostly stood up.
I’m an enthusiast. If I like driving something, it makes it an enthusiast vehicle in my eyes.
That said, I love driving big trucks and SUVs, and consensus here is usually that they are Bad, so I guess that’s my answer.
I paid like $100 or so to drive an APC in Georgia around a muddy track with water elements. Basically a tank that isn’t quite a tank. For an extra $ I got to run an excavator and dig up mud and move it over to another spot.
I was already in TN for the Dragon and Gatlinburg w/ the GF and kiddo. (And am I the only one having issues with how the headline is worded?)
I remember being jealous as hell seeing NBA legend Karl Malone on “MTV Cribs” years ago. Apparently his family had been in the trucking and heavy equipment business, which he also invested in after basketball. He built a two-acre “sandbox” behind his house and stocked it with dump trucks, bulldozers, backhoes and such, to invite friends over to basically play real life Tonka trucks in his backyard.
Real answer: I like vans and I love my Prius v, how much more non-enthusiast does it get?
Fun answer: I want to get a 2001 Corolla, slap on antique plates and a rear dashcam, and drive around recording people see the plate and crumble into dust.
I am (fortunately) limited by the size of my driveway (narrow, walls on both sides) and garage (Model T-sized), but I have a secret soft spot for ’60s-80s American land barges, especially Cadillacs. I’ve been a Euro car owner pretty much all along, but I learned to drive in an El Camino, and there’s a definite appeal to a car that’s not built for driving, but for cruising, in the most isolated comfort possible.
I’ll be the guy on Team Fusion. But I want the wagon version (Mondeo) that we didn’t get here. Thinking about importing one for my “retirement car”. Should be legal by then.
I work in local gov’t and rarely have to use a fleet car, but the circa 2011 Fusion Hybrid is surprisingly nice and I usually pick one of those.
I only ever got one opportunity to drive my grandmother’s 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88, the only car she owned during all but one year of my lifetime until her death, but it was everything you want a 70s land barge to be – floaty, cushy ride, swanky/tacky brocade upholstery, gobs of silky-smooth torque from that 455 Rocket. I would love to drive one, or something very much like it, again.
I would also love to spend an afternoon getting a driving and operations tutorial on an original Ford Model T. Compared to the features that became standard on pretty much every automobile made not too many years later, it’s only tangentially related to driving today’s cars.
And finally, after learning by accident by watching the movie “Ronin” that such a thing as a big-block (or at least, big displacement) Mercedes-Benz even existed, I would love to have a day behind the wheel of a 450SEL 6.9.
I want to drive an AMC Gremlin. It’s just peak 70s garbage.
Oh also my parents had a 90s Toyota Camry but got rid of it before I was old enough to drive. I wish I had had the chance to drive it. It is cemented in my mind as the most “normal car” car ever made.
The Gremlins made pretty good race cars back then. A track prepared Gremlin would be fun.
I have a few – among them:
1963-1965 Bentley S3 Continental Mulliner Park Ward Drophead Coupe
1968 Mercury Park Lane Convertible with Yacht Deck paneling
1969-1970 Mercury Marquis Convertible.
1969-1970 Ford LTD Brougham 2 door hardtop.
1974-1978 Mercury Marquis Brougham 2 door hardtop
1979-1992 Jaguar Series III XJ6
1978-1981 Triumph TR8
1978-1979 Mercedes-Benz 450SEL
1978-1979 Mercedes-Benz 450SL
1986-1989 Mercedes-Benz 560SL
1996-2002 Mercedes-Benz SL500
And I’d like to be driven in a Grand Mercedes-Benz 600, and a Rolls Royce Phantom
I have two on your list. Come over!
I’ll be right over!
All the cars I drove in my youth.
1976 Buick Lesabre, 1984 Audi 4000s, 1977 Honda Civic.
Sometimes I have dreams where I’m driving the Civic or the Buick, and all the sensations are still very vivid in my memory. I’d love to experience them again for real.
1984 Corolla SR5 because nostalgia is a helluva drug.
It’s probably first-car-brain but any “fun” variant of the Dodge Shadow/Plymouth Sundance catches my attention. An ES/RS/Duster with either a turbo or V6 and stripey seats is going to make me irrationally happy.
Then you’re gonna love this:
https://petrolicious.com/blogs/articles/carol-shelby-csx-vnt-last-true-shelby
Hell yeah. I would love to drive one once and try to keep the steering wheel from wrenching out of my hands.
90s Camry or Corolla wagon. I think many enthusiasts have an appreciation for the 90s Camry as being a really well built machine, though certainly it doesn’t really stir the emotions beyond that (the V6 5MT model not withstanding). So these are boring-ish cars that I love.
And maybe since I’ve never owned one, but I look at some big land yachts as “could be fun”. Crown Vic, Buick Roadmaster, etc. Just giant floaty comfy cars.
I’m going to say anything cheap enough that I can not care if it works or even resembles a car at the end of the day.
I will always, ALWAYS have a soft spot for the last generation Mazda Protege (mine was a ’99). Probably the only car with a trim level named after a file format.
https://www.theautopian.com/the-2001-mazda-protege-mp3-is-a-forgotten-sport-compact-legend/
I had an ’02 ES and I loved it.
I had a 2001 Protege, and it is one of the few cars I’d gladly have back again.
What a fantastic little car.
I had a 00 ES and a 02.5 Protege5. Great cars. I should have never gotten rid of the P5. Excellent city car, great visibility, point-and-shoot handling. But short gearing and kind of a buzzy and punishing highway ride.
I want my ’88 Chevy Nova back.
Would also like to try a straight six car from the ’60s. Or a Corvair. A Deux Chevaux might be fun, too. Or a kei truck, though in this country that is edging into enthusiast territory.
And y’know what? It’d be great to take a Duryea up Grand View Drive in Peoria Heights.
We are non-denominational and small-c catholic. 🙂
Fun fact: the Suzuki X-90 was a also three-door soft-top mini SUV
Funner fact: you could get a non-Redline Saturn VUE with the J35 through 2007. You’ll probably need to look in the south to find one, though: the undercarriages tend to rust and become less than safe
Also I would like to operate a Bobcat (the little skid-steer) at some point
I’m going with a Model T Ford. As probably the most universal car ever made, it is then by definition also the least enthusiast-oriented car ever made. I’ve driven one once, and it was an absolute ball – I had a giant smile painted on my face the entire time. I’d drive one again in half an instant. I’d love to use one to go out for a date in the city.
Same experience driving a model T. I keep my eyes peeled for one, but now even the post-brass era ones are 5 figures in running condition. With the brake that’s just a leather belt dragging on the transmission 25mph in traffic would have the puckering thrill of taking a new corvette on the Nurburgring.
Also vote for grandmas old Pinto wagon with the faux wood panels and a CB.
*five figures*!! Can you believe it? They’re practically air-cooled 911s 🙂 A Rocky Mountain brake would help a driver feel more confident, but you’ve got to plan ahead no matter what and you’re never going faster than 25 anyway!
A T with a handbrake for each rear wheel would be fun to take rock crawling or any off road fun. Traffic I would prefer to avoid.
Model T’s are a bargain in the collector space. You can get decent running but cosmetically-challenged T’s (and A’s, which are far more usable cars) for $5000, give or take.
I daily’d a Pinto woody wagon for a few years in the late 1990s. No CB, but it had a 4-speed stick, cruise control with a very malaise quirk, and icy AC. The rack and pinion steering was crisp. The plaid bucket seats were comfy. Legit one of my favorite cars.
https://itisgood.org/auto-biography/#79Ford
The model A and T are the most practical classic cars and that’s unlikely to change.
You can build a complete car from reproduction parts.
As an excavator isn’t a car I guess it doesn’t count, but how about a HEMTT with a crane?
As far a true cars go I think it would have to be a Citroen DS with their fancy suspension.
A HEMTT with a tiny house on the back. Yeah, what do you mean I can’t park here?
Those exist. Ten wheels.
I’ve seen one with a cargo container house on the back.
I keep thinking that a tilt back truck and a 20 foot container house that I could put on and take off would be the perfect camping rig. I don’t really need the conspicuouity of a HMET, but I love Oshkosh trucks so maybe.
Friend was running a Himars autoloader setup.
Quick setup, faster departure.
I want that one.
The container setup would work.
If you don’t want semi permanent, I have an Aliner fold up style. Under a ton at the heavy end, some much lighter.
My understanding is hetts and hemts exceed federal width limits though
Corvette might be something i check out one day, but mostly I only have money for enthusiast vehicles from the80’s, 90’s and 00’s
Ummmm….. you didn’t understand the assignment.
i did. a corvette is not for enthusiast.
I know that the question is about cars, but I have always wanted to operate any vehicle with very large tires or tracks, covered in all sorts of hydraulic cylinders.
Good news! There’s a place that will let you do that: https://digthisvegas.com/
Hmmm, team building, I will bring this to the attention of my managers, thank you.
I think I read about some bulldozer “sumo wrestling” at one of those team building things. Probably remote kill switches now.