Maybe you have a partner in life like our Mercedes Streeter’s, a spouse who tells you to go ahead and buy whatever cars you’ve ever dreamed of, and we’ll adjust the finances and living arrangements accordingly. Now let’s be honest: you don’t.
No, your better half probably looks at cars the way you look at a laptop, washing machine, or a refrigerator. You want a good one, but it doesn’t have to be a fancy brand or the top of the line, just a good value and reliable. For cars, that means one or two decent ones, but nothing outrageous or silly. You’re going to have to fight for what you want in this relationship, and in many cases you’re better off not fighting that hard. What cars does your life partner want to get that you’re, well, not totally on board with?
I know your situation. As a car guy, you strike up a conversation about some crazy, obscure crap like a Delta Integrales or Merkur, and the person you’re talking to eventually asks the dreaded question: what do you drive? That’s when you have to hunker down and admit that, well, we looked at a lot of cars, but we (yeah, we, right) decided to get a Honda Pilot or Toyota Venza or some other such car that immediately sinks your cred.
In our house, my spouse almost intentionally wants to spend money on a car without a “brand name” rather than one that’s “too ostentatious.” Basically, no car that’s the equivalent of a Louis Vuitton purse (which I usually assume is a fake until proven otherwise). On the other hand, I look for stupid bang-for-buck; I determine the car I really want and then figure out how crappy of an example of this dream machine I can afford (and afford to keep running). That’s how I’ve ended up buying stuff like decade-old Mercedes-Benz S-Classes with moon-shot odometer readings.
Since getting married, however, something like, say, a 200,000-mile Bentley Continental has not been in the cards. We occasionally find common ground, but even that doesn’t work. She really wanted a GM-era Saab 9-3 back in the early 2000s; a perfect showy-without-being-showy car that I was reluctant to buy. Don’t get me wrong; I liked these, too, but balked at buying one since I thought it was going to be a pain in the ass to own.
We did buy, and it turned out to be a pain in the ass to own. I don’t remember the straw that broke the camel’s back, but we both sort of gave up a few years later. The solution was to sell our souls to the devil and trade it (at great expense) for a same-year used Lexus. We’ve now had one of these never-open-the-hood brand of vehicles ever since; a grand whopping total of two Lexii over these last two decades, a rare case of getting what you pay for.
Neither of us is in love with these things. That’s a pure compromise right there, where neither party is completely happy but we’re all content.
How about you? What car does your partner want (or you ended up buying) that you hated the idea of getting and despise the fact that you’re making payments on it right now? Let us know now in this safe space; your partner doesn’t give a sh*t about cars and doesn’t read this site, anyway.
Top graphic image: Saab via NetCarShow
I’m lucky that mine listen to me! (looks over shoulder for flying object)
You can do both.
I have a Lexus GX460 for truck stuff (hauling stuff, towing boat, long trips) and a Boxster S for fun stuff.
My wife picked an Acura MDX that I absolutely hate to drive with all the nanny tech but she wanted it and it made her happy. I know it’s a fine car just not for me.
I am currently shopping for a used Panamera for a daily driver so I can park the GX and keep miles off it as I don’t want a new one.
Now that I am on the door of turning 55 I have come to terms with “Life is too short to drive boring shit”.
Oh man, I WISH my wife wanted a Saab lol.
A while back, she wanted a Jetta, but we settled on a Corolla. Totally dodged a bullet there, though she was never entirely happy with the Corolla. Fair.
This was followed up with her purchase of a Forester 8 years ago. It’s been… fine. But she absolutely loves it. And at this point she is hook line and sinker a Subaru nut. And yes this makes me very nervous lol.
I have no love for my GF’s Forrester. It’s just mediocre and bland in almost every metric. As soon as that thing is gone I’m getting her in a Mazda
Good luck. The vibes are strong with Subaru. I think our Forester would have to literally explode for her to turn her back on the brand.
But you know, I drive a Chrysler product so, I don’t exactly have a leg to stand on here.
My wife convinced me that we needed an SUV (Subaru Tribeca). Now I’m not a fan of the truckin lifestyle but in the go along, get along transactional dynamic of marriage I reluctantly agreed. Now approaching our second SUV acquisition (Mazda CX-70) I must admit they do have a certain utility, and in my advancing years, ingress and egress are smoother. Still hate em, but not as much as I used to.
I just hate that she doesn’t hate the Altima we inherited. It is quite a bit more reliable than my C4 or ’86 4Runner, though. She’s been saying the first new car she wants is the R3X, supposing Rivian makes it long enough to produce it. The note on that miiiiight persuade her to think cheaper if I am lucky.
Actually, I do; every weird car I find and send to her asking for an adult to tell me no, ends in a response of “do you need a ride?”
She’s amazing, and just last weekend asked for me to be a voice of reason to talk her out of buying a new car; I told here that would be difficult but I’d do what I could.
Anything grey. They don’t really want a car to stand out, they want to blend into the background.
I love the bright fun paints: reds, yellows, oranges. But grey fills me with ‘ugh’.
Well about a year ago we bought a 2018 VW Alltrack because my wife really wanted a wagon (and we all know what options are still left in that category) and it had to have a sunroof (limiting the options more) and she really wanted it to be red (and yet more limiting) so here we are.
Truthfully, so far it’s been flawless and like driving it. She absolutely loves it so that’s a plus. But I’m waiting for the other VW shoe to drop.
Now I want to know more about the high mileage Benz. Our 238k mile 560sel has been sidelined with a leaky fuel line for way too long….
My wife hasn’t had any unreasonable automotive requests. On the contrary, she let me convince her a cheap lease on an EVquinox was a good idea. And while she liked going to an EV, it probably wasn’t the right car for her and was a financially motivated decision (it was reaaalllyyy cheap).
Since I decided long ago to ditch the the idea of a partner, I no longer have anyone to force their automotive illiteracy on me.
What I am still saddled with, however, is a teenage daughter that will be of driving age soon, and she wants what all the girls in her Mean Girls-esque club sports either drive themselves or their parents drive: a Ford Bronco (pink, of course).
Thankfully, her sexual orientation mandates that she drive a Subaru Forester, saving me a boatload of cash and trips to the dealer for repairs.
Forester saving money?!? You new here?
It’s mostly just a joke between us that I use to torment her. I’m sure she’ll end up with a CR-V or RAV4, which combined comprise 95% of the parking lot at her school.
I don’t care what she wants. She’s the one who is stuck with it. I think she dreads me getting a Miata, though. I’m a middle aged guy and she rightfully thinks a Miata is too much a trope for a mid-life crisis. But I’m not in crisis! I just think they’re cool!
It’s not a crisis if the decision was thoughtful and intentional. Live your life man, hopefully she can enjoy it too
I resemble that remark.
It’s not a “mid life crisis car”. I call my Boxster “My kids are gone and I not paying 2 college tuitions anymore car:”
I am 1 year away and cannot wait.
RMD? Me too.
My partner eventually wants to get a small RV or conversion van which I am not really looking forward to. Mainly just due to not knowing much about them or what constitutes a “good” one but that I’ll most likely be the one doing the maintenance on it.
There isn’t usually a ton to worry about, as most small RVs are built on very long-running platforms. So you are usually looking at a Express or E-series cutaway with readily available parts. The only part that gets squirrely is the electrical, but they usually keep everything pretty stock under the hood and then just go back and connect to sub-panels. But I had the same concern, which is why I’ve avoided diesels and sprinters in my life (and will not get another Promaster).
Whatever we end up finding for her needs to have a pretty small footprint. She avoids using reverse like the plague so the closer we can stay to a standard vehicle footprint the better
Definately consider width as much as length. I have a minibus now and the extra width coming from the Promaster is much more stress inducing than the extra length. And cameras are your (her) friend!
Good luck!
My wife wants an RV…. This is a hill I might just die on.
Same, but I like indoor plumbing.
You may have to bite the bullet and buy one just so she can see how terrible they are.
My wife always wanted a boat. We bought one (we live near many lakes) and after a short time she saw how much of a PITA they were and we sold it. Boats are no longer in discussion, nor are RVs (by extension).
Nope. She looked at me for the choice of her car. I got to pick the heater in our house too.
The only thing she asked was a nice colour. I showed her the cheapest car of her colour choice was €5k more than the grey one I had seen. And then she opted not to have her car spraypaint after she saw the prices of that.
To sum up the last time we had the conversation: “Something sporty, cheap to run, but very comfortable on our bumpy roads, and absolutely not low on the road. Once road in a Mini and still has big lorry nightmares…”
Kept the 24 year old and the 22 year old Citroëns, which still tick some of the boxes….
Cheaper that way too.
Mini or Jeep.
I am afraid that I will not have a good alternative when we’re shopping and get stuck with one of those.
My wife was between the same two options. She went with the Mini. I have been pleasantly surprised so far.
My wife is generally pretty unopinionated about what she DOES want car-wise. She really wanted a Tracker which I was totally on board with. However, she’s quite opinionated about what she DOESN’T like the moment I point something out. But she comes around…she thought my Delica was the most hideous thing on the road (and she had a point…) but once she got in she realized how much fun it was, and I think that later drove the Tracker wants.
Overall I dread my own poor decisions much more than my rather sensible wife.
Yeah let’s get real, there’s no vehicle choice my wife is going to make that’s worse than any choice I’m going to make for myself, lol.
…Partner?
T_T
It’s OK, just get yourself a second car.
I already have two!
Nothing now. Last car was a minivan, I was OK with that, just not the white one she got. I hate white cars. It was white on the lot or months waiting for a chance at some other color. it was 2021.
None. I know my spouse dreads whatever car I want to buy, but each time we buy her a new car I just give her a selection of my recommendations and then she test drives them all, including the ones I don’t recommend, and she has always picked one from my list, almost always for the same reasons I recommended them. Her Honda Pilot is great, as was the Honda Odyssey she had for a decade before it, and so on and so on.
Mine has an eye for C3 corvettes. She loves the look and points them out at every show we go to. Little does she know about mailaise…
Show her an Opel GT. Similar looks, lower price, cooler owners.
100% I would be all over that.
https://midwestevgarage.com/2023/09/12/1970-chevrolet-c3-corvette/ EV conversion to only the rest of the malaise body and electrics to worry about
But a nice versions without the chrome bumpers are still relatively cheap and they really aren’t a bad looking car. Who cares if the neighbors Camry will blow it away. If it’s her cash let her buy what she wants.
Many years ago, my wife had one vehicle she really, really, REALLY wanted: a Buick Rendezvous.
Oof.
Well, happy wife, happy life, right?
So we bought one. It actually wasn’t THAT bad.
For a while.
Then, the dreaded Dexcool issue happened. Then the AWD crapped out. We unloaded it, but she still reminisces about it. Serious rose colored glasses.
I had one of those as a rental once. I don’t know if something was broken or missing, but that car’s front end dove under braking more than anything else I’ve ever driven.
She’d like a new Countryman, for aesthetics. Or a CR-V hybrid. Different sources of dread for each of those. The Mini’s onboard tech has a glitchy difficult reputation and it will depreciate. The CR-V is the flavorless conformist choice. She’s become a bit more smitten with our GS350 and tends to grab the keys for it, so I think we can avoid these for quite a while.
My wife used to really want a Mini Cooper. But luckily she seems to have gotten over it.
Now she says she likes the look of the Bronco Sports with the retro paint jobs. Hopefully she gets over this as well. She did recently say that one of those might be too big for her.
Actually, she really loves her 2015 Cruze 2LT RS. We just had the transmission fluid changed at 90,000 miles in hopes that it lasts another 11 years and another 90,000 miles.
Keep an eye on the turbo. It will need to be done at some point. They all crack at the wastegate flange. It’s not the worst DIY. Also replace the oil cooler gaskets while in there since it needs the turbo off to do it. Don’t ask how I know that last one…
Thanks for the heads-up. So far no P0299 codes yet.
She wants a Toyota or Nissan SUV or crossover, automatic. Real.
Just let her pick her color of RAV4. Boom, done. Then enjoy not worrying about it until it says to do something.
Thing is, she’s deaf (me too, but less so). So, when the SUV says something, it will either go ignored, or it will be me having to tend to what the damn car wants.
I just want to stick with my manual hatch with a receding hairline.
An EV. Look, I actually like electric cars. Getting an EV isn’t the problem. The problem is she’s going to want the comfiest car possible with the most tech features. The other problem is her RAV4 hybrid isn’t very old, and it’s our primary family road trip car. So this means we’d trade my car for the EV and the RAV4 would become my daily.
The RAV4 is a great vehicle. I have a huge amount of respect for it. It’s refined, efficient, comfortable, and big enough to haul kids and kid accessories. I know, minivan and whatnot, but we don’t have that many kids and a minivan would be bigger and more expensive and would burn more fuel. I also don’t want to daily it. I like having something smaller, lower, and slightly more engaging.
Edit: If a staffer happens to see this, tell David to go do something nice for his wife. I don’t know if he has the context to understand how lucky he is to have someone so supportive and enabling.
Go find a old style Model 3 Performance. It goes like stink and has a ton of lateral grip. It’ll also handle daily driving duty just fine. Tesla is the one exception to having everything on a screen in that it actually works well.
Yeah my wife wants an Ioniq 5. I like the design detailing and honestly it fits our use case well. But I look at the old pushamatic subpanel in the garage and hate the idea of opening the can of worms that a rewire for the charger will trigger.
I’ll see if she can be convinced that a second garage with modern wiring is a necessary first step.
Pushamatic! If the subpanel has room, the wiring is big enough, and the breaker that runs the subpanel is big enough, just add a pushmatic breaker for the EV charger. They sell tested breakers on ebay for not that much money.
That’s a lot of if’s though. When I had pushamatic breakers it was my main panel and it was 100a service for the entire house. Definitely from a different era.