Maybe you have a partner in life like our Mercedes Streeter’s, a spouse who tells you to go ahead and buy whatever cars you’ve ever dreamed of, and we’ll adjust the finances and living arrangements accordingly. Now let’s be honest: you don’t.
No, your better half probably looks at cars the way you look at a laptop, washing machine, or a refrigerator. You want a good one, but it doesn’t have to be a fancy brand or the top of the line, just a good value and reliable. For cars, that means one or two decent ones, but nothing outrageous or silly. You’re going to have to fight for what you want in this relationship, and in many cases you’re better off not fighting that hard. What cars does your life partner want to get that you’re, well, not totally on board with?
I know your situation. As a car guy, you strike up a conversation about some crazy, obscure crap like a Delta Integrales or Merkur, and the person you’re talking to eventually asks the dreaded question: what do you drive? That’s when you have to hunker down and admit that, well, we looked at a lot of cars, but we (yeah, we, right) decided to get a Honda Pilot or Toyota Venza or some other such car that immediately sinks your cred.
In our house, my spouse almost intentionally wants to spend money on a car without a “brand name” rather than one that’s “too ostentatious.” Basically, no car that’s the equivalent of a Louis Vuitton purse (which I usually assume is a fake until proven otherwise). On the other hand, I look for stupid bang-for-buck; I determine the car I really want and then figure out how crappy of an example of this dream machine I can afford (and afford to keep running). That’s how I’ve ended up buying stuff like decade-old Mercedes-Benz S-Classes with moon-shot odometer readings.
Since getting married, however, something like, say, a 200,000-mile Bentley Continental has not been in the cards. We occasionally find common ground, but even that doesn’t work. She really wanted a GM-era Saab 9-3 back in the early 2000s; a perfect showy-without-being-showy car that I was reluctant to buy. Don’t get me wrong; I liked these, too, but balked at buying one since I thought it was going to be a pain in the ass to own.
We did buy, and it turned out to be a pain in the ass to own. I don’t remember the straw that broke the camel’s back, but we both sort of gave up a few years later. The solution was to sell our souls to the devil and trade it (at great expense) for a same-year used Lexus. We’ve now had one of these never-open-the-hood brand of vehicles ever since; a grand whopping total of two Lexii over these last two decades, a rare case of getting what you pay for.
Neither of us is in love with these things. That’s a pure compromise right there, where neither party is completely happy but we’re all content.
How about you? What car does your partner want (or you ended up buying) that you hated the idea of getting and despise the fact that you’re making payments on it right now? Let us know now in this safe space; your partner doesn’t give a sh*t about cars and doesn’t read this site, anyway.
Top graphic image: Saab via NetCarShow
My ex-wife really wanted a new 2018 Buick Encore and I was hesitant to get one because they weren’t great in feature, reliability or price. We ended up finding one with $7k on the hood and were able to lease it. It was starting to give us grief at the end of the lease and we were happy to get rid of it. Those turbos are time bombs
She wants a Jeep Wrangler.
But she is zero percent into off-roading and 100% into just having a rugged-looking convertible.
My wife has no opinion whatsoever about the vehicles we have, and the only stipulation she ever has about buying a vehicle is that it not be “old” (which I interpret to mean anything that is interesting), and demanding to know what’s wrong with the vehicles we already have.
For a long time, it was a minivan. My wife wanted one and I didn’t want to become “those people.” We finally got one in 2024 (a used 2018), and I have to admit that it is very useful with the two elementary-aged kids and the dog being in tow a lot.
For me it was the opposite. My wife wanted the huge 3-row SUV for the kids, and I successfully convinced her to get a minivan (2017 Pacifica, bought new). We even went to the Detroit auto show, and compared both in the same setting. Once she saw how much room there is, the sliding rear doors, and the stow-n-go seats, she wanted a test drive that day. Now she loves the thing and we still have it. However, years later, she had her turn and successfully convinced me to consider a sub-compact SUV instead of a sedan this year.
We tried the 3-row SUV and it involved too many compromises. The third row was *tiny* and the luggage area was pretty much non-existent with said tiny third row in place. That, and the minivan’s sliding doors are far superior!
A week after we got married, the engine blew in my wife’s Mazda. I had a Nissan SE-V6 hardbody at the time with 125k+ miles on it which needed little love and attention, so I suggested a Maxima SE. But she always fancied a Volvo, so for the same price as the Maxima we landed a Volvo S70. Incredible little tank when it ran. And that was the problem – even from new it needed a lot of love and attention from the dealer. We kept it for 5 years and 70k miles but ultimately traded it in when it needed a complete a/c system and ABS brain, estimated by the dealer to cost $6k to repair. We fled to Toyota….
My wife has anxiety about driving and highways. Her only criteria is that safety needs to be first and foremost, to the point that she wants to see crash test videos of any potential daily drivers. I haven’t had to try to make anything work around that yet, but I don’t see it being a big problem.
An SUV.
It’s about ride height and comfort – she doesn’t like getting in my sedan because it’s low to the ground and she didn’t like my truck because the ride made her nauseous.
I just can’t bring myself to do it, so we end up taking her car a lot.
Years ago I had to talk my wife out of buying a new Mini Cooper S. I told her in no uncertain terms that I wouldn’t work on it.
I’m in a car-based marriage, so this is definitely A Thing. Our rule is “if you have the money for it and a space to put it, go ahead.” We end up roughly taking turns on purchases but I’m kinda in a happy with what I have phase. He wants a Stagea though and I am deeply whelmed by it. I think it’s the Nissan factor, I just don’t have them in my heart at all. He’s also interested in anything with an Alfa Busso in it which I find a bit more tempting as that’s a good excuse for a certain Lancia Thema. God bless the Italian parts bin!
my wife wants a G90 to replace the G70. it is bigger and possibly smoother, but the G70 is really the only Genesis I was ever really into.
My wife loves cars, just none of the ones that I do. She has expensive taste.
HOWEVER, she accepts my hobby and encourages me to do the things I love, just to be reasonable about them.
Wife in on her second Subaru Forester. It’s 12 years old. Her next car will likely be a . . . Subaru Forester even though she loves the metallic green Porsche uses that make the Macan shimmer like a green scarab beetle.
I always talk a good game when window shopping more interesting cars (ie. used E-wagons, Saab 9-3 SportCombi, etc) but my PTSD from maintenance costs of owning a European car always wins out and I buy something sensible too.
But the vehicle(s) my wife DREADS that I’ve eyed in the past are minivans and used Ford Transits.
I get my fix in other ways . . . reading the Autopian, following motor sports, visiting the the Ferrari museum on our Italian holiday years ago, etc.
It’s not a car she wants to buy but the car she has: a 2008 Ford Fusion.
It’s fine. She got it for a decent price, it’s been decently reliable over the last five years. But it feels like driving a UHaul. It’s the V6, so the fuel mileage is pretty bad, but the extra power doesn’t add anything to the experience. I can’t find a driving position that’s comfortable.
But her coworkers have started teasing her for having an old car… which means we’re digging our heels in and keeping that damn thing forever.
My Fiancee wants a Fiat 500, even though she used to own one and it was exactly as unreliable as you’d expect.
She also wants a Daihatsu Mira Gino though, which I’d be down for
My wife chooses her own cars but I get to veto anything unreliable. I wasn’t overjoyed about replacing her hilarious Suzuki Swift Sport with a Lexus UX, but it’s a comfy, quiet place to sit while waiting for the journey to end.
She usually keeps cars until they are utterly knackered, so as it’s a Lexus I figure I have at least a decade to wait until the next car.
It’s worse for her: she doesn’t like the GT86 (too noisy, too jiggly, too low) and hasn’t been in the Europa more than twice this year (for all the 86 reasons plus the tiny door holes).
Of all the cars I’ve had I think the only ones she liked were the E34 535i, the 350Z and the Z4 Coupe. She borrowed the last two a lot.
Sounds like hospice care
Same thought here.
Yep.
It smells better than that though.
My wife is a bit of a car nut too. She’s daily’d Saab 900s, Volvo C30s and a Warngler – all manuals. She’s been driving a Kia Rio5 for the last 3 years and wants a bit more excitement, ideally in the form of a MK7 GTI which honestly feels relatively reasonable compared to the alternatives.
My wife would very much like a 2002 era Thunderbird. I guess they’re fine? I’ve always been of the impression that they’re more show than go and sort of an old people car. She thinks they’re cute, so…
My wife just wants the 2007 Toyota Yaris that was totaled by a deer in 2016. Same color, same options, same everything. In 2016 we replaced it with a 2012, and 10 years on she still wants the old one back. When this one runs its course, I’m sure I will be sent out to find a 2007-2012 yaris sedan again.
Is your wife a pirate? (What kind of car did the pirate drive? A Yarrrris) <– most people don’t get that joke
I understand. Once you’ve had dash cupholders, they’re hard to give up. “The same thing but with less rust and three pedals” will likely be near the top of my list when my ’07 someday reaches the end of the road.
A big truck. We don’t need a big truck, so I keep trying to nudge her towards a small truck…
I don’t need a big truck. I need a neighbor with a big truck who is easily bought off with a bottle of wine or a batch of brownies.
My wife adores her CR-V and I’ve assured her many times that it’s ok to put more than its value into restoration, and that it doesn’t need to make financial sense. If we put $6,000 into it, it’ll be a $5,000 car, and that’s ok because it’s not going anywhere, we’ll get all that value back in miles, whether that happens on the second or fifth transmission replacement.
Your CR-V is going through transmissions?
Willingness to spend $6000 to repair an appliance car worth less than that is some impressive dedication to rock-bottom $/mile.
Happy wife, happy life.
Where that truism ends and Stockholm Syndrome begins, I’m not yet sure.
Same-same
Not yet, but I hear they have a tendency to, and ours is at 220k miles on the original drivetrain with the occasional weird shift.
Since our transmission has lasted this long, I might buy a used core and rebuild it instead of throwing it in as-is, since the reason people swap them instead of rebuilding them is that the transmissions are so cheap the work “isn’t worth it”
It’s not really $/mi, she’s enthusiastic about that car, she loves the impossibly plush ride afforded by the 205/70R15 tires, the communicative steering (she drove her mom’s much newer car and complained that she couldn’t feel what it was doing), the magic seats (they’re so damn cool), the picnic table, and above all that, the RD1 is really cute. Who am I to repress her car enthusiasm just because it doesn’t look like mine?
It’s admirable. I have a relative with a pair of mid-80s BMW 5 Series which have something like half a million miles each, not on the original engines. He likes them.
Jeep Wrangler or Gladiator. Because doors off convertible, somewhat practical and easy to get into. It’ll be a heck of a shock coming from a perfectly cromulent and stone axe-reliable RAV4. At least the dealer is just down the road a few miles. I’m sure we’ll be on a first-name basis with the service advisors before too long. If they wear me down with getting one, we’re finding a way to keep the RAV4. It’ll make a great backup car when the dealer refuses to give a loaner.
Get the best warranty on the jeep you can. The 3.6L Pentastar has been a great motor. I have had very good luck with my JKU.
That’s hardly a ringing endorsement of the rest of the vehicle, lol!
It does seem that Jeeps are either reliable or lemons with no middle ground. At least there’s a giant aftermarket when I get tired of a stock part failing.
There is also this idea that jeeps dont last so people do not maintain them and toyotas last so they get maintained, also wranglers can and do get driven hard and put away wet.
That’s my theory on Toyota “reliability”. People think they’ll last a long time, so they need to take good care of them and end up over maintaining them, therefore making them last a long time. Well, at least in non-road salt areas.
When I had a 4Runner, it was pretty common for people to swear by 3K oil changes and 30K diff and trans service intervals. Some even change out batteries, starters and alternators at certain mileages just because.
My wife is pretty good about cars. She might see one she wants but always logical. She is also afraid to drive bigger cars. That can be interesting sometimes. She sort of wanted a Lexus but was always fine with a Toyota. She loved a leaf I got and wanted a new one in blue. So no big deal. She was impressed with the price on a delivery mile used. She is sort of interested in a vinfast. She has some friends with them. I’m not sure but if I can get a deal maybe.
My daughter has to have a Forester that turned into a headache. It was never right but the dealers would just gaslight you on warranty repairs saying nothing was wrong but you could see they had tried to do something. Horrible experience. But she has a Subaru branded Toyota ev now so it’s all fine.
I’m just happy I broke my wife of her serial Jeep habit. Two WJs followed by a WK2. The WJs weren’t bad, but the WK2 cost me $1k in parts every year for the six years we had it! Now, that includes wear/tear items like tires and brakes but it also includes driveshafts (non-serviceable u-joints failed), wheel bearings, cruse control switches and door hinges that should have lasted longer than they did. I’m just happy that we unloaded that thing before a lifter failed and I needed to replace the camshaft. Keeping that Grand Cherokee on the road in top condition was time consuming, and we only had it from 60k to 100k miles!
I got the wife a 2021 BMW 330e xDrive PHEV in 2023. I had gone to the dealer to look an an i3, but they had sold it but had just gotten the 330e in as a lease return with like 13,000 miles on it. She has a really short commute, so the electric works great rather than using a gas engine that won’t even get to operating temp otherwise. But now she loves it so much that she says she only wants BMW’s from now on. (She probably would have hated the i3, so it was probably a blessing that they had sold it) I usually dump my EV’s and PHEV before the 8 year warranty is up on the batteries, but the restriction on only BMW is going to limit choices. But I also don’t know that I want to keep a BMW past the 8 year mark. We’ll see. I have another 3 years or so. I want to get her into something full electric next time too, but that will take some convincing. It’s been a good car, other than tearing through tires. The OEM’s lasted about 17,000. The Michelins I put on it look like I might get 25,000 out of them.
Lotus Elise. She really wants one, and I already have an MGF, which already causes all the trouble you would expect from a midship-mounted Rover K series engine without the additional chance of totalling the car with a ding anywhere forward of the steering wheel.
(Not her real name)
Has she tried getting in and out of one? It puts a lot of people off.
I had an S1 Elise for 9 years. Commuted in it. Wonderful car. Bought it for 4k, sold it for 14k, spent 13k on it in parts and servicing.
It’s really easy to write off the chassis with a sideways impact to the front wheels.
Plus fragile bodywork.
Plus corrosion of the front wishbone mounts.
Wonderful thing to drive though.