Let’s say you have a time machine, why not? It’s not a great time machine, though; you ordered it from Temu, and it feels pretty janky, made of brittle-seeming plastics and terrible upholstery. Plus, what looked like a sophisticated control panel in the ad turns out to be just a decal with two buttons on it. One is labeled “50 YEARS AGO,” and the other says “RETURN TO PRESENT.” The only other control is a long, spindly lever just cryptically labeled “ADJUSTMENT.” There’s no cupholder. The one good thing about it is that, when fully expanded, it’s easily big enough to hold a car.
In reading through the instructions, you find out a few things: it runs on a strange mix of vinegar, goat blood, and paraffin in a 10:5:9 ratio, it can only take you back exactly 50 years, and anything living that wishes to travel in it must be wearing a full latex bodysuit. So what are you going to do with this thing now that you’ve spent almost $138 on it? Going back 50 years isn’t enough for the time machine staple of killing Baby Hitler or anything like that, so what would be fun in 1976? Watch Operation Tall Ships as part of the Bicentennial Celebration? Visit a McDonald’s that still knew nothing of the McRib? Fly on the first Concorde flights? I have a better idea.
Buy a car.
Here’s how you’re going to do it: using 2026 technology, you’ll forge yourself a perfect cashier’s check for $50,000, which should be enough to buy you whatever car you want. You should probably trailer the time machine to locations or cities where you know the most car dealer options are available, so you have as many to pick from as possible. This is a time machine, not a space machine, after all. You may also want to bring clothes other than the latex bodysuit the machine demands you wear; that’s your call.
But what do you pick? There are so many possibilities! What about an MG Midget? 
Or maybe something really ’70s, like a Pacer?
…or a Mercury Capri? Those were pretty fun!
What if you wanted to be a real sicko and get something like a Pontiac Sunbird, so you can bring it back and be almost certain to have the best Sunbird in the world in 2026?
I bet you could do the same with a Volare:
A minty ’76 Suburban could be a fun counter to all the modern SUVs:
How about a really early Honda Accord? You never see those on the road anymore?
You could go weird and get a Lancia Gamma! I never said these had to be reliable cars, after all!
For me, I might be predictable and just go for a nice, fresh, new VW Beetle. I think a convertible. 
What would you pick? Assuming, as I mentioned, you have to physically get the time machine to the location you want it to be in on your own? Sky’s the limit! Well, I guess the limit is a forged $50,000 cashier’s check, which reminds me, you should probably head back to the future as soon as you can after buying the car, in case anyone gets wise.
Top graphic image: Volkswagen
Porsche 930 Turbo
More choices than I initially thought-think I’ll take either
A Datsun 280z
A Chevy K5 Blazer
Or a Mercedes 450sel (6.9 if they’re available)
Kind of a dead spot for muscle cars unfortunately, no great options aside from the Firebird, but even those got better in a year
That one is easy, as my 280Z just turned 50.
Also, I’ll start refering to cars are “space machines” now.
Easy answer: 1976 Mercedes-Benz 450 SEL 6.9. It retailled for DM 69,930 ($27,772 in 1976 or $163,227.93 adjusted).
1976 has got to be the pits as far as buying cars is concerned. But if I must I’d bring back a new car from ’76 it would be either the Alfa Spider, Ford Bronco, or Toyota Landcruiser.
Now if we are allowed to buy a used car from 1976, that would be a whole ‘nother story. There would have been a whole world of interesting used cars selling for dirt cheap back in those days.
That’s an easy one, mkIII Mini Cooper.
Lancia Stratos HF? Lamborghini Miura?
Actually, I think I’d go back to ’70s Japan and buy a Mazda Roadpacer, a completely nonsensical vehicle designed to compete with the Nissan President and Toyota Century as a big luxury sedan. Take an Australian Holden HJ or HX Premier, take out the piston engine and drop in a 13B rotary with less power and a lot less torque, add a lot of gadgetry (built in dictation system?) and you get 103mph top speed and 9 mpg.
And it would be fun to take to car shows and confuse people!
1964 Willys Wagon “Traveller” with the 230 OHC Tornado.
Pretty sure a Ferrari 250 GTO could have been purchased in 1976 for $50k or under. The appreciation alone would set me up for life.
If given a second $50k check, I would buy a collection of 1970 Cadillacs. Everything from a Fleetwood 75 limousine, a Deville Convertible, a well-sorted hearse, a Fleetwood 60 Special, and an Eldorado as well.
A BMW 530i, plus the VW Rabbit I DID buy in 1976.
2-car solution? Lancia Scorpion and K5 Blazer Chalet
Oh this is an easy one for me! I’d buy a new Toyota Celica GT Liftback and make sure it was always stored indoors and never driven in the rain so it wouldn’t rust.
If I was the middle-aged, tired, get-off-my-lawn guy then that I am now, then probably a Cordoba or a colonnade coupe.
(stealing from Mazdarati) yes, the nices Saab 99 I could find.
Also, the most highly-optioned W123 platform diesel Mercedes wagon I could buy.
Saab 99
FJ40 Land Cruiser. No question. Then keep it fresh and nice, not altered and modded and rusted like what’s left today.
For $50K in 1976, a whole giant passel of German engineering, with a list much like all the ones already mentioned. Maybe a Datsun or two while we’re at it.
Maybe buy a little Microsoft stock and California real estate while I’m at it.
We’ll just have to hand wave a solution to the location problem.
MSFT didn’t go public until 1986. A quick search stated that a medical company called Danaher would have been the best buy-and-hold investment in 1976 with over a 700,000% return since 1976. Walmart would also have been almost as good. If you want to go with real estate, I’d recommend NYC and Tokyo over Cali.
Lancia Stratos.