Hello again! It’s still me: Stuart, a licensed insurance agent and internet company guy. I’m back with our final installment (at least for now!) in our partnership with The Autopian. And to round things out (for now!), we thought we’d have some fun with insurance. Didn’t think that was possible? I get it! But there is one tried-and-true game that people love when it comes to insurance: What crazy situations are insurable?
[Ed note: This is a “partner post,” wherein we have a sponsor of the site post about what they do. Marble is a great partner and you should sign up for Marble, which is a useful tool that allows you to track your policies, and rewards you for doing so. Plus, Marble helps support the site. Read their previous posts here and here. – MH]
A quick note before we go too much further though: By the very nature of these being insane hypotheticals, it’s hard to come down confidently on a particularly “right” answer. For that reason, I’ve enlisted the help of my colleagues and fellow agents Jordan and Brett, and together we’ll give you our collective best guesses at how an insurance company might respond to these far-fetched claims.
So let’s dive in!
Situation #1: The Dog And The Jeep
Situation: I like my neighbor’s dog a lot more than my neighbor. So whenever I see my neighbor’s dog, I like to come out and wave (I do NOT wave to my neighbor). The other day I saw my neighbor’s dog come out of the house, and I decided to say hello. Before I could, though, the dog was off like a shot, running towards my neighbor’s 1996 Jeep Grand Cherokee.
My moron neighbor left the door open! And the keys in the ignition! Before I can stop him, the dog — my only friend in the world — has started the car and accelerated! Right into the tree between our properties (that it’s really my neighbor’s job to trim). Thankfully, after the crash, the dog jumps out unharmed. But I’m left wondering: Will insurance cover anything for my neighbor?
Insurance: Bad news for my stupid neighbor but good news for me: He’s probably out of luck on the insurance! An insurance adjuster is going to have a LOT of questions about the negligent circumstances that allowed that (perfect) dog to start the car and drive it into a tree. And unless my neighbor is prepared to sue his dog, it’s unlikely that a liability claim will have much success. Insurance verdict is: Do not let your dog drive your car, even if he asks nicely!
Situation #2: The Fiat And The Rhino
Situation: It’s a Tuesday at 11:30 AM, and work is slow. No emails, no calls on the calendar, and it looks like I have some “me” time. You know what that means? That’s right — it’s time to head to the local drive-thru safari! It’s not quiet-quitting. It’s quiet-learning-about-wildlife.
I pull in and pay admission. My 1962 Fiat 500 Jolly is the perfect car for this! Plenty of sun protection and easy access to feed the giraffes. This is going to be a great Tuesday afternoon.
Making my way into the park, I take the first turn and come face to face with a mature rhinoceros. Delightful! Unfortunately the grin slides from my face as the rhino turns to me and lowers his head. That rhino weighs about 7 times my precious yet impractical Fiat! He charges me and much to his satisfaction, crunches the front hood of my car. As I limp home, I worry: will insurance cover any of this?
Insurance: This was a topic that the Marble agent team actively debated for some time, and we have some real advice if you find yourself being charged by a wild animal at a drive-thru safari: Throw that sucker (your car) in park ASAP. If your car is in park, then the damage will likely be classified as comprehensive (so the real take-away here: make sure you have comprehensive coverage!). Plus, the deductible for comprehensive claims is usually lower, so that’s less out of pocket for you. Also it won’t count as a moving accident, which will keep your claim history clean! So just keep this rhyme in mind: “If it’s a rhino you see, in park you should be.”
Situation #3: The Boy And The Monster Buick Wagon
Situation: Help! My son thinks every car is a monster truck! Since he was just a small boy he has pointed at every four-wheeled vehicle and exclaimed “Monster Truck!” No amount of correction will get through to him. He is otherwise a normal, perfect boy.
Until today. Today he took his first solo drive after getting his license. As I watched him pull out of the driveway in my cherished ’76 Buick Estate Wagon, my heart swelled with pride. But it didn’t last long.
A few short minutes later, I got a call and immediately rushed to a nearby intersection. There had been an accident! My son was fine but every single engine mounting in the Buick has broken. And when I looked at the security footage I saw what happened. My cursed son had mistaken the Buick for a monster truck and tried to roar through the intersection, clearly very intentionally crushing the cars in his way, and shattering the engine in the process. What is going to happen with my insurance?
Insurance: Not much is gonna happen with your insurance (assuming your son has even been properly added to your policy), because the company will see that your son was intentionally acting like a monster truck driver, and then they’ll claim negligence and you’ll be out of luck! Teach your son what isn’t a monster truck! C’mon!
This partner post was sponsored by Marble, the first and only all-in-one insurance management and rewards platform. Organize all your policies, earn rewards, and take control of your risk today. It’s fast, free, and helps put your insurance on autopilot. Plus, signing up helps support The Autopian.