To be clear, the question here is not “What is the blandest car?” or “What is the most boring car?” While blandness and boringness may contribute to a car’s inconspicuousness, these traits are not essential to it. What makes a car inconspicuous is, uh, its being inconspicuous. Look, you know it when you see it – which is to say, you don’t remember seeing it.
Better still if the cops don’t see it, the true measure of an inconspicuous car. As a teenager in command of the family’s Toyota SR5 wagon, I was a regular speeder in the angular little thing. On more than a few occasions, I flew beneath an I-95 overpass only to see a statie staked out behind a pillar as I passed, and I would brace myself for the flashers to come on and then … nothing. I’d breathe a sigh of relief, ease off the gas (but never touch the brakes, which would be a confession), and continue on my way to Fall River or wherever.
Spacer
I’m sure more than a few of you will say some model years of the Toyota Camry are inconspicuous, and you’ll be right, but I think the XV40 might the most invisible of the line. I used to drive one for a couple of weeks every summer in Newport, RI while on vacation – it was my mother-in-law’s, she didn’t drive anymore – and I swear, I could never find it after I parked it. It was a slate grey color, and it was like my eyes couldn’t focus on it. I’d do two laps of the Shaw’s parking lot with a gallon of milk sweating in my hand, then realize I was standing right beside it.
I put the Autopian Asks question to the gang as I usually do, and when Matt offered his pick, I wasn’t even able to form a mental image of it. I give you the 2018 Nissan Pathfinder:
That may actually be a 2017 above, but it doesn’t matter. Says Matt, “I’m a professional automotive journalist and, even if I wasn’t, I’d still think about cars all day. I have never thought about this crossover. It has a roof. It has wheels. That’s all I’ve got.”
The Bishop also came through with an inconspicuous car, one I had forgotten existed: The Mazda 929.
“It was almost exotically bland,” said The Bish, a turn of phrase that I am now in love with. I do think it looks quite smart though, and even crisper than the similarly squared-off Maxima and Camry that were on the roads in far greater numbers at the time – which no doubt made it even harder for an untrained eye to spot a 929.
Your turn: What Is The Most Inconspicuous Car?
Top graphic image: Toyota
Inconspicuous: My 2016 Odyssey. No one, no cop ever looks at you. It’s brown too. Or as Honda calls it, Smokey Topaz Metallic.
Inconspicuous and fun: The last generation Camry TRD. Only the dorks on this website will have any idea what it is and with 305hp it moves. Once again no one and no cops will ever look at you.
Depends on the era, but now it would be a RAV4 of recent, but not most current generation, but most other 2-row CUVs could probably fit the same bill.
Except for the CRV. It’s too conspicuous because they’re frequently driven by such horrifically bad drivers that I readily notice them so I can avoid or keep an eye on them to pull some inexplicably stupid move whenever possible. They’re behind such an unbelievably high percentage of the dumb and frustrating shit I see that I can’t be the only one who has been conditioned to notice them. Combined with the less common but equally poorly driven HRVs, they’ve seriously got to represent over 70% of all stupidity I encounter around here and that’s out of every other car make and model, including all its equally boring competitors. It’s truly shocking.
My big Bently is seen as surprisingly bland. At fancy car events it is a very dim star,
slightly faded and ordinary. Take it to the shops and it is an old car with a bloke with a beard driving it. An inconspicuous car if ever there was one.
It has just come home after a hefty mechanical refurb, the second since 1934/5
It is delightfully inconspicuous, largely because it is so silly.
Around here, I’d say it would be Corollas/Civics that are a couple of generations old, have body panels that are all the same color, and which are driven at 5 over the speed limit. I was going to go with “battleship gray anything” because even the Chargers seem to meld into the background when they’re that color. Ultimately, though, they’re louder and likely to be driven more aggressively.
2006-2018 RAV4. They’re everywhere around me. Although CR-V comes in a close second, especially in lease-special gray. That seems to be the only color the local dealers order.
Depends where it is. Vermont or Oregon, a Subaru Outback. Texas, a basic F 150. Washington DC, white Mercedes C class or BMW X3.
The 929 was a baller and I would love to find a nice one today. A bubble-era gem.
The answer to the question is Honda CRV.
Off-white, grey, or silver Toyota Corolla.
One or two generations old.
No window tinting.