Sorry, I don’t mean to dunk on Altima owners here, or the Altima itself. Nothing wrong with driving an Altima of any vintage. That said, Big Altima Energy has been a thing for a good long while now, and even if the model association isn’t truly deserved, the specific energy being attributed to it is certainly real, and predates the Altima itself. We have all encountered the type, as well encapsulated in the Reddit post below: “BAE means being as trashy as possible, as overly confident as possible, and as egotistical as possible while not having a reason to.”
Spacer
I think the additional detail in a reply to the post is apt:
An Altima driver doesn’t care that their front bumper is missing. That RAM that was tailgating them? Well, the Altima brake checked them and speed off to “teach them a lesson.” They’ll gladly weave in an out of traffic whilst scrolling on their phone […] If you are in the way they won’t mind collecting another dent. All that matters to them is getting to their destination ASAP, and as long as the car is still running, they’ll do it again.
Yep, that’s Big Altima Energy, alright. And I think the other cars called out for oozing BAE above are well picked, but they certainly aren’t the only ones, which brings us to today’s Ask:
What Not-Altimas Have The Biggest Altima Energy?
It’s easy to call out the various ten-plus-year-old sports/muscle/hot-hatchs favored by the yoofs as having BAE, but I think that’s a different kind of bravado. That said, I do get big BAE (yes, “big big Altima energy) from any well-clapped-out S197 Mustang still on its stock wheels, and the V6 models are probably going to be even more sketchy, driver-behaviour-wise, than the GTs. See also Chargers of the same vintage, but less frequently Camaros and Challengers. Don’t ask me why, that’s just the vibe I get.
The Bishop called out the Chevy Cruze, which I would not have thought of, but yeah, that tracks. It even looks sorta like a second-gen Altima if you squint hard, like really hard, and the Cruze’s grille is smashed up as seen here.
Let’s hear from you. What cars fill up your rearview mirror with Big Altima Energy (and existential dread, one assumes)?
Top graphic image: Nissan
While it’s not as “cool”, I’m shocked there aren’t as many Dodge Calibers out there exhibiting the Energy. Did they all suffer an early mechanical death?
1 or 2 generation old Inifinti midsize sedans. Nothing seems to attract d!ckhead drivers and says “I’m pissed off that I can’t afford an Audi or a BMW, and I’m ready to take it out on everyone around me. I also have tiny genitals.”
A Fin-Fin is literally the Fancy Altima
And yet it attracts a different flavor of dickhead.
Whatever SUVs are being delivered to ICE in my town.
Not sure they are on the list yet, but they are rapidly moving up in my opinion: Ford Broncos. The last few I’ve seen are fitted with ridiculously oversized tires and are flying down the highway, weaving between the lanes.
These drivers are reckless and stupid if they think their truck is “nimble” in any way enough to avoid a sudden situation.
Note: I do not mean the Bronco Sports which usually appear to be driven by mild-mannered folks.
I noticed this from a Bronco the other day. You are onto something.
What’s interesting is how this is a reversal of how it was back in the 80s when the Bronco II was the one you’d see being driven in idiocy while (outside of action adventure tv shows) the Bronco was piloted by more rational types.
I’m going with Crosstrek or Jetta in my neck of the woods.Bonus points for aftermarket exhaust or manual transmission.
I think the “Altima” part of this stems from the leasing/financing deals that came about when Nissan was pushing for volume…which leads me back to what I think may have been the OG BAE…which is early to mid ’00’s Mitsubishi Galant…any four door Mitsu, really.
Totally. The F&F2 gen Eclipse hit that vibe, and the previous DSM gen until they all mechanically crapped out.
Teslas for sure. Many of the entry BMW drivers migrated to Teslas to drive like A hole with instant torque
Totally agree Teslas, specifically pre facelift Model 3’s, they seem to cut me up more than most cars.
I’m always inevitably being tailgated by a Chrysler L platform (Challenger, Charger, 300) or a W (Durango, Grand Cherokee). Though the more clapped out ones that end up being driven hard end up being Hyundai/Kia these days, 5th/6th gen Sonatas and K4s, and older Santa Fes and Sportages.
Ram diesel 4×4, although this primarilly applies to men, I dont’ see as many women driving them, at least around here. Bonus points for the 8″ diameter exhaust, using the gas petal as a on/off switch, aggressivly tailgating everyone, especially smaller cars and rolling coal at stoplights. Go out for a ride in a Miata for a few hours and you’ll see what I mean.
Every car on the Dan Ryan Expressway has Big Altima Energy. With the way that traffic in the area seems to be straight from Altima HQ, you’d think that Yokohama and Chicago are sister cities.
Close, Osaka is a sister city to Chicago.
98 Pontiac Sunfire
Pontiac is the epitome of IDGAF
Yep, any dead GM brand still on the road, especially the smaller ones like Aleros or Grand Ams.
Not in an absolute sense perhaps, but relative to the model, the 10th gen Honda Civic. The one that comes from the factory looking like Honda hired the kid working at the AutoZone counter to design it.
I am absolutely fucking tickled by the heavy Stellantis representation in these comments.
Some stereotypes exist because they are true.
Besides the obvious ones, the weird one by me in Central Ohio is 10-15 year old VWs. Bald tires, darting through traffic, something is hanging off of them and they smell like a cat died in their cat. There was just one this morning merging onto the highway with a flat tire slapping the rear fender. Terrifying.
Yo dawg, I heard you like cats in your cat.
The Kia K5 and base model Elantras and Sonatas really give off the “I got this for 0 down for 96 months at 67% APR” energy the altimas had
Three little words.
Hyundai.
Genesis.
Coupe.
OH GOOD ANSWER!
Part of the reason we see BAE from Ram drivers is because half of them are drunk.
Since we’ve lived in our house, we’ve seen three people get pulled over for a DUI on our street. All of them, I repeat, ALL of them were Rams.
GMT800 trucks get the side-eye, especially with any sort of rear-window sticker or lift.
bonus points for a cateye
Stellantis, across the board. RAM, Dodge, Becky in her pink Wrangler, all of it.
DIRTY AND TOPLESS
ugh…
Written on the pink camo spare tire cover. HURK.
Those ducks have seen…things…
I will say, if you’re single and looking to mingle with women specifically the Jeep Girl almost certainly fucks. Whether or not you’re willing to risk whatever else might come with that sort of personality is up to you…
HURK, indeed.
But my biggest issue with these decals, really, is that I see at least 3 different examples of it a day. I get this is a group that is clearly unbothered by cliches but damn, can I get some originality? Maybe a unique twist?
Don’t forget the Durango SRT Hellcat with the stripes. THOSE PEOPLE ARE ALL INSANE.
In my experience the base LX platform drivers are the most insane because they’re the ones that feel like they have something to prove
Can you get the stripes on those? I’ve just been scared shitless by those stripes one too many times on I-75.
I’m fairly certian Stellantis will put stripes on a Pasifica if you ask nowdays. In-your-face ‘Mericua has basically become their whole selling point as a brand.
You can basically get all the bodywork of the high performance ones on a base one and of course whatever stripes you want. As someone that’s browsed listings for them before it’s super easy to mix up the different models even if you know what you’re looking for…and people are constantly up-badging or de-badging them.
I’ve encountered a “Hellcat” that was very obviously a sad little V6 before and I’ve also encountered a Hellcat that was stripped down to the point that it looked like a rental spec one…but as soon as it took off and I heard the supercharger whine I was like “AHA! Well played”. It’s generally a good rule of thumb to just avoid all of them…they do not attract the most well-adjusted, mature crowd.
I have to admit though, disguising a Hellcat as a rental spec V6 is a pretty awesome move.
Oh 1000%. That’s big dick energy. Dressing up your V6 to look like a Hellcat and/or driving your Hellcat like a jackwagon is smol pee pee energy.
Pretty standard thing to strip all badges off well modified stuff. I have a big box of badges and logos for two model Cummins involved in my truck. On a shelf.
I did find a very nice mustang 5.0 GT that was a barely streetable racecar.
They had put larger Canadian 5.0 chrome logos on each side.
What was actually in place was a 351 Clevor with a roller bearing valvetrain that redlined at 7000.
Interesting test drive.
100% this
Lifted coal rolling Rams
Angry eye’d Wranglers
Chargers and Challengers so blacked out that Anish Kapoor wants to sue them
Chrysler 300s that have bald tires and only fire an odd number of cylinders
Agreed in general, but I’m feeling a bit attacked as a Pacifica Hybrid owner. Can there be a minivan carveout?
Was coming here to say this. In the snow and ice we got near me over the past 2 weeks, the irresponsible and aggressive drivers on the road have been EXCLUSIVELY in one of 3 camps. Nissans (including infinitis), Lifted trucks, and Stellantis products, very often base Durangos, Rams, and Jeeps, but even pacificas driving at 10 over.
Iowa checking in. Same here.
Bringing the HEMI back from the dead has been a disaster for society. I wasn’t driving then, but I don’t think the Iacocca/DSM years would have attracted the same kind of toolbags as the LX cars have.
Most Jeeps
Wrangler drivers are absolute psychopaths and the issue is compounded by the fact that Wranglers are rolling death traps….
I’ve been a motorcycle commuter that uses an HOV lane for 15 years now. I have not yet once ever seen a Wrangler in the HOV lane that had a passenger. Not. Once. Ever.
Any Jeep with the “angwy eyes” you just know is going to be one to avoid
As well liked as the car is, I feel the Kia K4 sedan will soon be a BAE condender. I see seemingly brand new examples all beat to hell already.
Oh yea this is good one
I’ve been seeing a lot of final-generation Passats filling that niche, weirdly. Maybe those aren’t holding their value well?
Can only speak for California, but 100% Teslas.
Eh, as a Californian I equate Teslas as the new Camry – a car driven by a person who doesn’t care about cars and just wants an appliance.
I haven’t seen too many Teslas on mini-spares with mismatching colored panels and Saran-wrapped windows, at least yet.
BAE to me means driving style, a good majority of Teslas around here drive like they are in a war zone.
They drive as if they were in some cop movie for real
Well it is CA, maybe they are stunt drivers gathering real world data for the next movie.
Not just California… The Charlotte area is thick with BAE Tesla drivers.
Always with a ‘Driver in Training’ sticker. ALWAYS.
Those stickers are a local cancer
Around here (Southwest Florida) the slowest rolling roadblock in the middle of traffic is going to be a model X. It’s weird.
I’m going to have to go with the Altima’s upper-crust cousin, the Infiniti G-series sedans….I just don’t get a good vibe from them with regards to routine maintenance and questionable “mods.”
If you hear a moo nearby, you’re either next to a farm or someone in a slammed G37 with a VG V6 drove by.
*VQ 😛
Thanks.
Just two days ago, I witnessed a RWD Q70 struggle to crawl up a slight grade at 5mph due to snow and ice. Shortly after going around them, they made a right turn from the left turn only lane, and flew by me doing 45 in a 35, with an equal amount of snow and ice on the road they turned onto. All this in under 60 seconds. I’ve seen infants with greater self preservation skills.
You step up for the Fin-Fin once crime starts to pay