I have a different approach to looking at cars currently for sale based on the platform. With Craigslist, I usually default to “manual transmission” as that filters out most of the cars I’m not interested in. Facebook Marketplace is a mess, so I usually let it guess what I want to see and enjoy being amused by the response. With eBay Motors, I like to select the “modern classics” section, which brings in a lot of ’70s and ’80s cars, and today we’ve got two very different views of modern classics.
There’s this theory I have that Malaise Era cars are super cool again, which is somewhat related to the Radwood effect, but skews towards early ’70s and mid ’80s cars, whereas Radwood always feels more late ’80s – ’90s to me. If Radwood is Saved By The Bell, then Malaise is CHiPs, or maybe The Fall Guy.
Arguably, neither car from yesterday would have fit, as the Celebrity is too new and the XC70 is a decidedly Bush Era car. Even with the potential transmission issue, the Volvo captured most of the vote by a Texas mile.
That Volvo is uncomfortably close to my parents, and I’m slightly tempted to have them go check it out, so if anyone wants an E39 manual with high miles, let me know. My goal would be to get enough for it that I could get an older XC70 and set some money on fire inside of it.
But onwards to today. I probably couldn’t convince anyone in my family to buy either, but that doesn’t mean I don’t see the promise in both.
1985 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham D’Elegance – $4,200 OBO
Engine/drivetrain: 4.1L V8, RWD, 4-speed automatic transmission
Location: Arlington Heights, IL
Odometer reading: 64,000 miles
Operational status: runs and drives “beautifully”
Oh boy, this is going to be fun. I love these mid-80s Cadillacs and Lincolns because they remind me of my wonderful, amazing grandfather. I was his only grandchild, so he understandably focused in his attention on me, but I get the sense that if I had a brother or sister, he’d somehow just double the amount of attention he could give.
The earliest car I remember of his was a mid-’80s Ford Crown Victoria LTD with a plush blue interior that matches what’s inside this Cadillac. I’m pretty sure my mom was driving the car because something had happened to one of our vehicles, but it was definitely grandpa’s car.
This specific model is interesting, and I’m sure Mark would be able to tell you more about it. The 4.1-liter V8 is, of course, the much-discussed HT-4100 V8. I’m not into ’80s GM products in general, and I had to squint to remember if this was the RWD model or the weird, transverse-V8 FWD version. It is, thankfully, the RWD one.
According to the seller, it’s been gone through mechanically, and so the biggest improvements are all going to be aesthetic. In addition to fading paint, it’s missing some body trim around the trunk. The headliner is sagging because even a low-mileage car is subjected to gravity. A little paint and body work, and this thing would be a slow but fashionable way to get around town.
1984 Dodge Colt – $4,950 (OBO)
Engine/drivetrain: 1.4L inline-four, FWD, twin-stick manual transmission
Location: Pasadena, CA
Odometer reading: 237,820 miles
Operational status: Was a daily driver in the early 2000s
What is the exact opposite of that Cadillac? Probably this Dodge, which has a little inline-four, a manual transmission, and puts its power down via its front paws. It’s also a captive import, as it’s actually a Mitsubishi underneath all of that. One of Chrysler’s many experiments in selling other cars under its various brands.
These things aren’t particularly powerful, although they are light. I am a little curious who might win in a drag race between the V8 Caddy and the little Dodge. It would be close and, also, extremely boring. There’s only one big question to ask when looking at a Colt, and it’s “Twin Stick?”
The answer, I think, is yes. That’s a good sign, even if the interior also needs work. As Mark explained in the past, the “Super Shift” transmission was a four-speed manual with a two-speed final drive, which is most notable for having two reverse speeds.
As you can tell, this one needs work. It was a daily driver before it was garaged, which was roughly around the time the Ted Danson vehicle Becker went off the air.
Which end of the Malaise Era spectrum appeals to you?
Top photo: eBay Motors
I’m trying to remember a time when those old Caddies weren’t missing the trim between the taillights and the trunk.
Mine wasn’t, but this was about 20 years ago.
I remember seeing old Caddies missing these or desperately attempting to retain the fillers they had with clear tape as far back as the 80s. I wonder if being garaged affected how long they lasted.
Damn, I wanted to vote for the Colt for that twin stick madness but the asking price is bonkers. The Caddy is more realistically priced and not a bad way to go sloshing around town. Just keep a bottle of Dramamine in the glove box for your seasick passengers.
I just noticed that EBay has the Colt listed as a hot car because of all the people viewing it right now. The poor seller has no idea that the traffic came from a bunch of us checking the car out before saying it’s an overpriced and poorly polished turd.
The seller also listed a former Ethan Allen furniture factory in western New York that I find intriguing.
Learned how to drive in a Plymouth Champ. After it was in an accident it never tracked straight.
The gap between the hood and fender is an indicator this Colt has been wrecked at some point in the past. Given the state of the interior that price is on the high side of high. So a hard pass on it.
Or the hood wasn’t latched shut? It was the first thing my eye caught, but this one flips forward like it’s Bavarian or something.
When in doubt, I lean toward small, light, manual, hatchback and Japanese, but the interior of that Colt (outdoor carpeting door cards?!) scared me off.
Becker? I hated that show because it killed Jadzia.
I hated it because it turned out to be set in the Bad Place all along.
I assumed Berman killed Jadzia.
ditto, tho 10001010 is correct Berman killed her, she wanted to drop to part time (less focus) and he decided to jut kill her off instead.
Was Berman possessed by a Pah-Wraith at the time?
Apparently he’s a Pah-wraith all the time. I’ve heard similar stories about him from other ST cast.
Ah, and here I thought it was Braga. Maybe he’s just been replaced by a changeling.
Not digging that Crayola Flesh paint job, but that Colt is a bad little buggy.
Sometimes, sometimes
Sometimes bad is bad
Aah, dit, dit, dit, dit, dit
Doo wop, wop
I say cool is a rule, but
Sometimes, bad is bad
Aah, dit, dit, dit, dit, dit
Doo wop, wop
Neither appeal to me, so I’m tempted to go with the Caddy as the price-per-pound value play, but the gas bill would be brutal.
So, Colt it is, until it dies and I can pick up another (hopefully more interesting) shitbox next time. So, next month, maybe? Then again at almost five grand, that’s a shitbox purchase I couldn’t afford to make…
Guess I’m walking.
Mileage on these wasn’t that bad. Relative to modern cars and trucks, it’s not that heavy, less than 4500 lbs. The 4100 is a pretty small engine. They just cast a giant shadow. And my goodness, they were slow. For some reason, at least mine had a heavy return spring on the throttle, like you really were supposed to think about your intentions when you pressed it. And then you heard a distant burbling slowly rising up below you, like an ocean liner easing out to sea.
The mileage wasn’t that great, either, and now I’m spoiled by a hybrid SUV that gets over 35 mpg with ethanol poisoned gasoline. (I live in the corn belt, where ethanol flavored gas is basically mandatory – I get significantly better mileage when I’m visiting family out west, where the pure stuff is much more readily available and closer to cost parity because it isn’t subsidized so heavily.)
I grew up with the middle tier GM barges (Olds and Buicks) as my father’s vehicle of choice. They seemed crude, woefully under powered and packaged very wastefully. (And don’t get me started on my stepmother’s Chevette.)
I know a lot of people really like these big old land barges and more power to them (uh, no pun intended), but I’ve zero interest in revisiting this segment of the automotive kingdom.
I will leave the missing filler panels alone so I can rock that Uncle Buck vibe.
Fleetwood for me.
I guess the Colt. I would offer 4k. The gas savings is the difference for me.
$400 seems more appropriate.
$40 would be more appropriate.
You sure will be saving on gas as that car is questionable to even run. You won’t have to buy any 😀
As a former Fleetwood Brougham owner, this is a no brainer. Big Daddy Caddy every day and twice on Sunday.
Also, this car is neither a chick nor a dude magnet.
Well, maybe if the chick is in her 80’s and needs a ride to bingo?
It would make an interesting Uber…
My grandparents had a white Eldo with the 4.1. When merging onto the freeway, grandpa would yell “Scratch rubber, White Lightning!”
I wanted to go Colt, but it’s too rough and too high mileage. Plus, having had an 80s Oldsmobile once upon a time, the seats are so incredibly comfy in this type of car and I would love to drive a la-z-boy again
Can anyone explain why those filler panels ahead of the taillights are almost always missing on these?
Im going with GM design.
They lasted until the warranty expired, which was good enough for GM back then.
They were made from cheap plastic thar turns brittle over time, especially with heat, and eventually crumbles
Of course, the filler panels are supposed to be sacrificial as part of the bumper assembly, 5mph regulation dealt with damage to the body sheet metal
There are quite a few guys out there who will 3D-Print bumper fillers for these malaise-era GM barges. Not cheap, but a whole lot easier than fabbing them yourself.
Most of them are reproduced by aftermarket parts manufacturers, at least for the more common models. I understand fit isn’t always perfect, but it wasn’t from the factory, either
How much is a 3d printer these days? 2-300?
Caddy. I’ll ride in style for a while. Seems like it was grandpa’s car and probably only driven in the non-salt seasons and just to church.
That Colt is a no go. I was leaning against it when I saw beige-yellow paint on an old Colt. I’ve already done my time in one of these mid 80’s penalty boxes. No way I’m going back. And nearly $5000 for an old Colt with 237k on the clock? Do I get to adopt the racoon family that calls it home? I can smell that interior from here.
I want the BroughHammer, but that 4.1 is a ticking time bomb. I’m intrigued by the twin stick.
The mileage on it (65,000 miles) is around the time it goes tits up.
Definitely the Cadillac. I feared the filler panels would bankrupt me but they’re pretty reasonably priced.
Quiet Riot had it right.
SLIIIIIIIICK BLAAAAAACK CADILLAC!!
This one is missing the solid gold hubcaps.
First glimpse: Caddy. Do nothing to it, drive it for one year, sell before next winter.
But if the Colt’s interior tears are limited to the driver’s seat as the rest looks good, maybe that’d be more fun longer-term – and would be a treat to show up to a carshow with it.
Holy Schitt’s creek! that land barge. I have more parking space for the colt and would car less about trashing a trashed manual hatchback.
My initial thought was the Colt, but for that price for that mileage and interior condition, I’m going the floaty Cadillac.
As cool as the Caddy looks I’m imagining what those seats smell like and it isn’t good. Twin stick all the way. I was given the family 84 Plymouth Champ 4 door with the same drivetrain and wrecked it after 3 days of ownership. Big regrets.
Would rather smol than land yacht. I’m sure most people would rather have cushy, but it’s just not me. I’m uncomfortable in big cars.
The Colt’s more to my taste but almost 5 grand should buy one with just as solid a body but a better interior.
5 grand should buy 50 of them.
Colt.
CRAZY efficient with the twin stick. And it’s a Mitsu of that era, so you know it’s good.
Highly praised in its day, even if the Plymouth Champ version had a cooler name.
Small manual older cars always get my attention, I’d put seat covers on and go.
But I have to say a Blues Mobile could be fun.