If you’ve got a truck or a van, you can carry just about anything without too much fuss. Those of us with regular cars, though? Suddenly, when it’s time to haul lumber or shift mulch, we have to get creative. So I ask you—what’s the weirdest load you’ve hauled in a regular car?
I’m not talking folding chairs in the back of a Honda Accord, or a couple of coolers in the trunk of a Camry. I’m talking oddball, offbeat, strange—the kind thing that has the State Trooper pulling you over for a summons and an ear-bashing.
This question was spawned by the erudite Peter Viera, who spotted a great example online. I think we can all agree this was the result of a timber purchase gone duly awry. Who amongst us hasn’t been there?
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When Peter floated this idea, it appealed to me directly. Why? Because I’ve been in this exact situation, except a little stupider. Because I’m a car enthusiast.
See, once upon a time, I had my very own art studio. It was really cool! We were building our own stage, and it was my job to pick up the timber cladding. Surely enough, I popped into Bunnings (Home Depot but green), and laid down the cash for the boards. Only, when I got to the parking lot, I realized my mistake. I’d pulled up in my Miata, and there was no way they’d fit in the trunk.
I was on a deadline, and besides, I’m stubborn. If a job can be done, I’m gonna do it. Sketchiness be damned. I ended up going back inside. I had the boards cut in half, I bought a bunch of string, and I figured out a way to lash everything to the car with the roof down.
It was stupid in the extreme. The biggest problem was the taut strings running back and forth through the cabin, right in front of the driver’s seat. I had to thread myself in beneath the tangle, and I could barely shift for the ropes impeding my arms and legs. It was all a bit Entrapment, though I looked nothing like Catherine Zeta Jones.
It was like this.Â
What made it even sillier was that weeks before, I had a far better car to do the job. I’d used my Volvo 740 Turbo to pick up all the rest of the timber with ease. It even had a tow ball! Sadly, I’d sold it, so my roadster was forced into lumber duty.
Ultimately, I got away with my little gambit. I probably wouldn’t have tried it, but I was only going 3 miles down the road and it seemed like it would work. These days, I’m more reluctant to go for such Rube Goldberg antics.
That’s my silly story. Now it’s time to share yours. I’m disappointed we don’t have pictures in the comments, but I’ll ask nonetheless—what’s the weirdest load you’ve hauled in a regular car? Odder the better.
Image credits: author
A few years back, I needed a laundry drying rack for my new flat.
Surely that would fit in the Z4 trunk.
After failing to get my purchase in the back of the car, I tuened to the infinite cargo space that is a roof less passenger compartment.
It must have been looking weird to see a convertible with the top down and a drying rack poking above the top of the windshield by two feet.
A 7 1/2′ Flemish double harpsichord, with stand, in a Prius. Drove it to a city an hour and a half from here for rehearsals and a concert, then back.
We got an 8ft Christmas tree in the back, middle and front of my E90 330i. Back seats were folded down and the top of the tree poked through to the front between the driver and passenger. When we got it home and erected it we found it almost touched the ceiling. The car smelled nice for weeks after that.
I used to work for a sports store selling exercise equipment and table tennis tables. We sold one such table to a guy with a Volvo wagon. We wrestled the thing out to his car and noticed he didn’t have any roof racks – and there was no way he’d get it in the back (you couldn’t even get these things in the back of a large SUV). Not to worry, he said, he had these surfboard carrying things that sort of rested on the roof of the car. Despite our warnings, he insisted we slide the table up and *whump* the entire roof inverted. He didn’t seem worried at all though, just tied the table down and off he went. I sometimes wonder what happened when he got home and if he did any lasting damage to a $50,000 car in order to save on a $50 delivery fee.