Every day, Mark Tucker somehow finds the perfect pair of cars to go head-to-head against each other in a classifieds duel. Usually, the cars are so crappy that you just choose the best of the worst. But occasionally, something beautiful happens.
Yesterday’s Shitbox Showdown was a toss-up between a 1985 BMW 745i and a 2000 Chevrolet Metro. Most people want to run from the BMW, but not SageWestyTulsa:
Having previously owned a slew of 80s BMWs, with a couple of M30 cars in the mix, I wouldn’t even cast a second glance at that crappy Metro at this price point.
I mean… Euro bumpers! A turbo! A chassis you can actually work on yourself with regular old metric hand tools! If the 745 wasn’t more than halfway across the country from me, I’d probably already be in talks with the seller.
ETA: The speedo/odo are clearly in “miles.” Still would.
Thomas wrote about a safety car that crashed into an already crashed racecar. That was funny enough, but that story also had this line from driver Taki Inoue:
“My helmet was totally squashed. Then I see the doctor. Usual procedure – they try to see my d*ck first, touching my balls.”
A long swig of beer.
“It’s true! I learn that in UK. When balls move, brain is fine. When big crash, scissors, take off the overalls, see the balls, hit the balls, then when balls move, this guy’s fine. If balls don’t move, then there’s a problem with brain damage, I think.”
I’m sorry, but what!? I’ve been thinking about this all day. TK-421:
I have many medical profession friends that I have a new question for.
Abdominal Snoman:
That quote at the end, wow… I guess I’m done learning my one new fact for the day.
SlowCarFast:
My takeaway from that last bit: Guys DO think with their genitals!
That wasn’t the main story for COTD because, to be honest, I’m not even sure what I’d use for a topshot.
Have a great evening, everyone!
Top graphic image: Craigslist
Ha! What a lovely way to the start the morning. Thanks for the shout-out, and yes, I found myself daydreaming about that 745 at several points during the day.
For the Taki topshot you could pull a still from the old SNL skit, D**k in a box.
Truck nuts. You could have used truck nuts for the top shot. If you didn’t want to be vulgar, you could have used the large hex nut version.
What picture to use for the top shot?
When a local magazine did an article about a doctor who had performed literally thousands of vasectomies in my city, they did the cover photo shoot in a ball pit.