Every car enthusiast seems to be an expert in something. Some folks can fix anything, and some folks have an encyclopedic knowledge of their favorite brands. Then there are the superfans, like Jason and me, who know everything that needs to be known about just one car.
Jason is so obsessed with VW Beetles that he can even tell you when a brochure is all suspicious-like. Sid Bridge:
Orderly: Mr. Leidig? It’s time for your meds. Oh, and I brought you some of our newest soft cookies. They are the most delicious chocolate chip cookies you will ever gum.
Leidig: Thank you. It’s been a stressful last few years and these cookies are my solace.
Orderly: One more thing…
Leidig: Really, I just want to enjoy my cookie and a nap…
Orderly: Torchinsky found another inconsistency in one of your brochures. From 1967.
Leidig: F**k.
Speaking of Jason, he’s attempting to atone for all of the bad car things he’s done in the past year. But I think he forgot someone. Adrian Clarke:
AREN’T WE FORGETTING SOMEONE? YOU MADE ME LIVE WITH A FUCKING RODIUS. NO AMOUNT OF FASTING CAN ATONE FOR THAT.
Matt wrote about how the denizens of LinkedIn responded to his article about Nissan’s new CEO and his involvement as the drummer of Tempura Crime Scene. The response was hilarious, and so were the comments. Disphenoidal:
LinkedIn is funny because it has its own trademark format.
It’s not just for talking about professional opportunities.
For some reason, each paragraph can only have one sentence.
Maybe two, max.
Does this make your anecdotes seem more profound?
It just did.
Nlpnt:
Haiku are easy.
But they don’t always make sense.
Refrigerator.
Bob the Hobo:
“When AI was first able to talk like a LinkedIn poster, people erroneously came to the conclusion that this meant AI had a soul, rather than the more obvious conclusion that LinkedIn posters do not.”
Sasquatch:
“There’s Snapchat for mean younger millennials, BlueSky for elder millennial furries, TikTik for overwhelmed Gen Zers, and Facebook for Boomers who wish their elder millennial furry kids would still talk to them.”
Very on-brand for Gen-X to be forgotten off this list.
DialMforMiata:
We all just said “fuck it” when MySpace folded.
Have a great morning, everyone!
I’m planning to look for a new job soon, and my biggest dread is that I’ll have to create a linkedin account. Ughhhh, please no 🙁
Aww… brings back old memories of lazy Sunday mornings with my girlfriend, pointing out typos and grammatical errors in the newspaper to each other.
Obligatory 10-slide motivational post from a single male low-level coder in India about how work-life balance is like turning a glass of water upside-down on a laminated menu.
Slide 10 will be about spilling it all over the table or whatever. I actually never make it that far. And there are 473 comments and the OP is not among them.
Re: Disphenoidal/LinkedIn: just reading that made my chest tighten. It’s the love language of suck ups, fart sniffers, and capitalist apologists to alchemize meaning and profundity from glamourized auto-hagiography about how failing up, kissing ass, and raw dumb luck were actually factors they had under control the whole time with their hard work and transcendent prescience, and wouldn’t we all be so much better off heeding their sagacity, the sheer font of wisdom they’ve deigned to lave we dark and dirty masses.
Fucking LinkedIn.
This is some delicious prose. I’m reading this with a face like Gordon Ramsay makes when he finally likes something.
*bows* I can tell it’s gonna be a good one when autocorrect is trying to “fix” words that are already words.
As the Tinder date to a scheming vizier might say, you had me at “alchemize.”
“Auto-hagiography” is such an apt word for LinkedIn “content.”
This comment just made me look you up on Bluesky so I could follow your account there.
If you find one lmk; I don’t have one to my knowledge.
Was half-joking about the Bluesky house style (literate & snarky, especially about LinkedIn.)