I don’t know about any of you, but I am getting really sick of winter. I’m sure part of it is just the hassle of moving in the middle of it, but this winter feels colder and drearier than normal, and I can’t wait for warmer weather to finally get here. So in that spirit, today we’re going to look at two convertibles.
Yesterday, we were seeing what it would take to get by without gas. We looked at a Chevette with a diesel engine and a Nissan Leaf with a better-than-average battery pack. It was a really close vote, but the Leaf is ahead by a nose as of this writing, so I’ll declare it the winner.
I guess I wouldn’t mind the Leaf, but I have a strange attraction to that Chevette. Yes, I know it’s terrible. Yes, I know it’s outpaced by everything on the road except maybe Jason’s 2CV. I don’t care. I have fond memories of driving a Chevette on a frozen lake years ago; those things can do donuts (or “whip shitties” in Midwesternese) like nobody’s business. The Leaf is just an appliance.
In the very fun Richard Linklater movie Hit Man, the lead character uses a code phrase when meeting with his potential clients. He meets them at a diner and orders a slice of pie. They ask him, “How’s the pie?”, and he responds with “All pie is good pie.” And you know what? He’s right. Even lousy pie is still good pie. Because it’s pie. (Except pumpkin. Ew.)
I thought about that when I saw these two cars. They are not, by objective standards, great cars. But they are both convertibles, and that covers a lot of sins. Dropping the top on a nice day and cruising around is a joy, and when you’re doing it, you can overlook a lot of a car’s shortcomings. I guess you could say “All convertibles are good convertibles.” Don’t agree? Let’s check them out and see if I can convince you.
1983 Ford Mustang GLX – $3,689
Engine/drivetrain: 3.8-liter OHV V6, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Louisville, KY
Odometer reading: 125,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
The Fox-body Ford Mustang is generally seen as the light at the end of the malaise-era tunnel, but it didn’t get off to an auspicious start. Ford threw basically whatever engines they had lying around in the first Fox Mustangs. It didn’t matter much because horsepower wasn’t in anyone’s vocabulary in the early 1980s. And aside from the GT model, you couldn’t really call the first few years of Fox Mustangs “sporty.”
I mean, look at this dashboard. It looks like it belongs in Grandpa’s LTD, not a Mustang. It looks like the dashboard of a car powered by a 112-horsepower V6 and a squishy automatic transmission, and guess what? It is. The 3.8-liter Essex V6 was one of Ford’s go-to workhorses for years, but it started out as this two-barrel carbureted lump. It runs well enough, from the sounds of it, but it’s going to be a leisurely ride.
The interior is in OK shape, but not great. The vinyl seats look a little grubby, and it’s missing the armrest on the passenger’s side. Actually, it’s missing all the trim on that door panel, as if someone took it apart to replace the window regulator or something and misplaced the trim. Maybe you’ll get lucky, and all the missing pieces are in the trunk.
It looks a bit better outside, but the dealership selling it has photographed it wet, which hides dull spots in the paint and makes the black trim look nice and black. It might be a bit more faded-looking when it’s dry. But there’s no rust on it, and the top looks like it’s in good condition.
1985 Renault Alliance L – $6,500
Engine/drivetrain: 1.4-liter OHV inline 4, five-speed manual, FWD
Location: Port Washington, OH
Odometer reading: 49,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
The Renault Alliance is almost forgotten now, but AMC’s last gasp at the small car market was the butt of a lot of jokes for a lot of years; “Renault Appliance” being the most common one. It’s a shame, because it tested well, and it was actually a pretty nice little car. It’s certainly better to drive than a lot of its contemporaries. It has a decent ride and a nice, comfortable interior. But not even the dulcet tones and calm demeanor of George C. Scott could convince enough Americans to take a chance on the French car from Wisconsin, and it didn’t live through the Chrysler buyout.
In 1985, the Alliance was available with either Renault’s venerable 1.4-liter pushrod engine or a new 1.7-liter overhead cam unit. Since this is the basic L model, I’m assuming it’s the 1.4, and if I’m wrong, it will just be a pleasant surprise. It has a five-speed manual transmission, and the seller says it gets “awesome gas mileage.” All Alliances had fuel injection, which is a nice upgrade over the feedback carburetors used by many small cars at the time.
The interior of the Alliance is more AMC than Renault; ace designer Richard Teague’s fingerprints are all over it. (Not literally; don’t worry.) These seats are as comfortable as they look, by the way. It’s in great condition, as you would hope with so few miles on it, and the seller says everything works.
This car spent the majority of its life in Arizona, and the seller says it has never seen snow. The paint is shiny except for the trunk lid, and the top is in good shape except for a cloudy rear window. It does have a couple of little dings and dents, but it’s still one of the nicest Alliances I’ve seen in years.
If you were shopping for a convertible, these two would probably be pretty far down your list of candidates. Well, a Mustang might be near the top, but not this Mustang. And how many of you even remembered there was a Renault Alliance convertible? But whether or not these came to mind right away, they’ll get the job done – the job being putting wind in your hair and sunshine on your shoulders. (Yes, I just made a John Denver reference. Deal with it.) Which one of these unlikely candidates wins for you?
There may be cars capable of enticing me into a 40 year old convertible, but are not these cars.
Ugh. Neither looks worth the trouble. But a manual Renault is at least interesting. I hate Fox Bodies – the ugliest Mustangs – and a 3 speed with barely more HP than an Iron Duke Camaro. So Renault it is.
I would buy the Mustang, do a good polish on the paint, and ease on down the road.
I realize we just went through a few years where car availability was slim but for a dealer to offer that mustang in that condition with all the missing parts is a dealer I would never buy from. A private sale? Yes. On a dealer lot with no price waiting to be shipped to auction? Yes. But sitting on the list with an ask of almost $4k? NO
Renault for me, but I’ll pronounce it like we did before we knew better and wait for strangers to enlighten me. That level of amusement is worth the additional cost, oui?
I don’t expect either car to be reliable so I might as well be comfortable. Alliance. Here’s a Garrison Keillor quip. “The best pumpkin pie you ever had is no different from the worst pumpkin pie you ever had.”
This is false, like his affable respectability.
https://apnews.com/article/minnesota-garrison-keillor-db14345b521e4518af1be49773733ad4
While I will admit there are pie varieties I enjoy more than pumpkin, I will defend that it remains good pie. I will also disagree. There is bad pie. Specifically Cherry Pie, the 1990 song from the band Warrant. It sucks, they suck and the world would be a better place if it had never been written.
Warrant doesn’t suck. I’ve seen them live a few times, With and without Jani Lane, and they’re better than that song and video.
Even Jani Lane hated that song. There’s articles out there explaining how they were basically forced to write that song and make the cheesy video by their management.
Jani Lane went to his grave blaming that song for making him “The Cherry Pie Guy”.
In the end, he suffered from depression and alcoholism, and fallout from that song was a contributing factor to his sad death.
I lived through their prime. Not wanting to litigate the 1980s hair metal scene overall, but there were multiple much better acts in my opinion. I will say it’s very sad what happened to Jani Lane and that he passed relatively young.
Jani Lane said “I could shoot myself in the ****ing head for writing that song”. He hated being know as the “Cherry Pie Guy”.
I wanna like the Renault but I was alive in the 80s and know just how bad these things were when they were new. So Mustang it is.