It’s been a while since I’ve given you a silly scenario to help you choose between cars, so I think it’s high time we did one. Today we’re playing a game I’m going to call “Brewster’s Thousands,” and if you get the reference, you probably already understand the broad strokes. If not, hang tight, and I’ll explain in a minute.
Yesterday’s choice was between an automatic VW Passat with a check-engine light and an Infiniti G20 with a manual and some non-trivial body damage. Good arguments were made both for and against each one, but in the end, the Primera-by-another-name took a comfortable win, despite the whole driver’s side being banged up.
I agree wholeheartedly. If the Passat were a manual, I would have chosen it, but I just can’t get on board with an automatic in that car. And I don’t know what all is involved in a manual swap. I’ll take the G20, dents and all. Oh and by the way, I think the goop on the side mirror is glue or epoxy or something holding it together. You do what you gotta do.
Now then, for today’s choices, here is your made-up back story: Your weird uncle (mine was named Gordy, yours may not have been) passed away and left you something in his will: twelve hundred dollars, and a set of instructions. You must use that money to buy a car, and drive it to his celebration of life on the other side of the country next week. If you do that, his estate will buy you whatever car you wish – within reason, and subject to the estate lawyer’s approval. You’ve been looking around, and these two seem like the most viable candidates at the moment. Let’s review the finer points of both, so you can make a decision and hit the road.
1997 Ford Aspire – $1,200
Engine/drivetrain: 1.3-liter OHC inline 4, three-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Lynnwood, WA
Odometer reading: 152,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives
The joke almost wrote itself, and I heard it for the first time thirty seconds after I saw my first Ford Aspire: “Do they call it that because it aspires to be a real car?” This egg-shaped follow-up to the tiny Ford Festiva was the butt of jokes from the very beginning, but it never was all that bad of a car. It’s just cheap, simple, and honest. That shouldn’t be considered a character flaw.
The Aspire’s mechanical specification more or less carried over from the Festiva, and the Mazda 121/Kia Pride that spawned it: a 1.3-liter Mazda-designed four-cylinder, making 72 horsepower. It drives the front wheels through, in this case, an old-school three-speed automatic. Other markets got a 1.5-liter engine with more power and an overdrive gear, but we weren’t so lucky. The Aspire’s strong suit was never performance anyway; it was fuel economy. But don’t worry; it’ll cruise along the freeway at 75 without a problem. It just takes a while to get there, and makes a terrible racket doing it. We don’t get any useful information about this one’s condition or history; all the seller says is that it runs and drives. That’s good enough for our purposes, I guess.
Inside, it’s a typical ’90s economy car: crank windows, bare-minimum instrumentation, and gray seat fabric with a funky pattern on it. There’s some heavy wear on the passenger’s seat, but it isn’t ripped or damaged. Actually, for twelve hundred bucks, it’s pretty nice inside. I can’t see if it has air conditioning or not; the steering wheel is blocking the view of the button. But if it does, you probably can’t use it going uphill anyway.
Aspires were popular as tow-behind dinghies for motor homes, and this one has the tow bars for that use. I don’t know how you flat-tow a car with an automatic, though. You can’t just stick it in neutral like you can a manual. Maybe the transmission has been modified to allow it? It’s beat-up and tired-looking, but it doesn’t have any rust.
2000 Chevrolet Tracker – $1,200
Engine/drivetrain: 2.0-liter DOHC inline 4, four-speed automatic, 4WD
Location: Fraser, MI
Odometer reading: 134,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives
The Chevy/Geo Tracker, and its twin the Suzuki Sidekick/Vitara, were also popular with the motorhome crowd. But these little 4x4s were popular with pretty much everybody for many years. They didn’t have the mountain-goat-like off-road chops of Suzuki’s Samurai, but they were a hell of a lot nicer to drive on the highway, thanks to independent front suspension. Everybody these days wants a two-door with a soft top, but the more practical four-door wagon version sold a lot more units.
Power for the second-generation Tracker comes from a 2.0-liter four-cylinder. A four-speed automatic sends power to a traditional transfer-case-equipped 4WD system, complete with a big lever to shift between 2WD, 4WD High, and 4WD Low. Those were going out of style by 2000 in favor of push-buttons, but I’m glad to see the lever here. It runs and drives, but the seller does note a few flaws: it has a failed motor mount, so the engine shakes at idle, the check engine light is on for an oxygen sensor, and it’s leaking oil from somewhere. It does, however, have a new battery and good tires.
The interior of this one is surprisingly nice for the price, too. I was expecting it to be all torn up inside, but it looks remarkably well cared-for. It has power windows, but the passenger side rear one doesn’t roll down.
It’s a Michigan car, so of course it has some rust, and it looks like it has been parked outside, because the clearcoat is fried. Still, for the price – there’s that qualification again – it’s not bad. As long as the frame is still solid, it should have a road trip or two left in it.
So all you have to do, for the purposes of our game here, is pick which one you’d feel more confident driving across the country, after which you’ll have your pick of automobiles – within reason. (For reference, my own weird uncle Gordy’s idea of “treating himself” to a car was a brand-new Buick Skyhawk T-Type, but I think you can aim a little higher.) Vote on your choice of car, and then tell me in the comments what car you’re going to ask for.
Since it’s a one way mission I would be more comfortable in the Tracker. My reasonable car would be a 2018-2023 Mustang GT. White, red interior.
I vote for the Tracker. The Aspire is fugly and the Tracker looks nice in profile, from 50 yards, at dusk. Pity about the rust on the right-side rocker panel. If it’s winter when my uncle joins the choir invisible, 4WD could be helpful although FWD was fine my two winters in Cleveland. I imagine it would ride a little better than the Aspire. The wheels look pretty cool and I’m glad all four match. I wonder what else they might fit on?
I looked it up and depending on where the celebration of life takes place, Fraser, MI could make a better starting point since it’s already more than halfway to the east coast. If it’s on the west coast, I’d probably take the Aspire as it would just be another trip down I-5–a trip I’ve made more times than I can count since I moved to the Puget Sound area 32 years ago. When we moved here, I made the trip from Cleveland to Seattle twice in two months.
Since I’ve semi-abused myself on this trip, I will humbly ask for a Lexus ES 350h and cosset myself on the way back.
I don’t want either of these really, but chose the Tracker simply because it’d be more practical for hauling stuff. Also, I don’t think they look too bad for what they are.
The Aspire hurts my eyes a bit. That fact alone wouldn’t keep me from desiring it if it excelled in other areas I valued, but in this case… no thanks.
Tracker, and I’d try to hit as much dirt as I could on the way back.
I can’t see one of those Aspires without thinking of a customer from my old high school job, I worked at a full serve gas station and a guy that drove one would come in and always ask for Ultra 94. When we switched over to Mobil, he said he was sorry that he wouldn’t be coming back, because Mobil only went up to 93 octane.
My and the other guys would joke, “Aspire to what, get a better car?”
I don’t Aspire for more ads covering the screen. I’ll take the Tracker.
Bonus points if any of you know where Frasier, Michigan is.
(All four square miles of it!)
The Aspire. It will use less gas before you find out Uncle Richard only left you enough to buy a matchbox car.
Ugh. My back hurts just thinking about driving either of these across the country. I guess I’ll go with the Tracker, as the idea of taking a 72 hp car that far sounds awful. For the ride back, an M5 with about 2000 miles on it – enough for any initial problems to have shown themselves and been fixed. I’ve always wanted to take something that powerful and smooth on a long cruise, but there’s no way I’d buy one of those myself, even if I had that much money. Upon getting home, I’d sell the thing to avoid having to pay the astronomical maintenance and repair costs.
I once rented an Aspire for a trip to Colorado, and once I moved to Colorado I ended up owning a Tracker (one year older though). The Tracker was more fun to drive, but I gotta warn you, even with the manual mine had there were times I was WFO in third gear at 35mph trying to get up a highway grade at elevation. If these two cars had a race to the speed limit, it would end in a forfeit.
I feel the Aspire has a better chance at making it. For the trip back, a good highway cruiser like a Toyota Crown would be great.
I would take the tracker because it’s probably easier to get the 1200 dollars back later,which I hope would cover a set of rear tires for the 93 Dodge Viper I plan to ask the estate for.
Tracker, provided it’s not Swiss cheese underneath.
I’ll take a Miata RF and the scenic route back home.
It might be a bit rusty but I think the Tracker would be the slightly more pleasant experience to drive cross-country. Parts might be easier to find as well.
I don’t get the reference, Mark. I’m just hoping it is a reference to something before my time for a change. As a geezer Millennial (I missed Gen X by just a few years), I’ve been feeling old a lot lately.
I voted for the Ford.
My logic:
I want to drive as many different car models as possible.
I have never driven an Aspire or a Tracker.
I sorta want a Tracker and would consider buying one.
I would never spend my money on an Aspire.
Since no one else is paying me to drive an Asspire, this might be my best chance to check that model off my list.
As for the car I would ask for, I’d go with a Huracan Sterrato. If that is too extravagant for my hypothetical weird dead rich uncle, I would go with a F250 Super Baja. If that is still too extravagant, I will settle for a Ranger Raptor.
This is actually a good idea. As someone’s weird uncle, I might include this provision in my will.
Here’s your reference:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brewster's_Millions_(1985_film)
If you’re a Millennial, you may have been too young/too unborn to get the movie reference.
Interestingly, my Silent Generation mother would also get the reference, though from a much older movie.
Presuming the AC works – Tracker. America has become significantly hotter since Gordy’s Skylark…
Aspire, it’s already on one side of the country, and any repairs along the way won’t involve tetanus or chiseling off old fasteners. Just stick in some earplugs, put it in D and hammer down I-90.
I have no desire to find out that they didn’t do anything to tow it while in the middle of Kansas. I’ll the Tracker and several gallons of 5W-30, please.
If everything else was even, then the Tracker. But since I have to go cross country and make it. then the Aspire. It won’t be a fun trip but I think it will get me there and the Tracker may not, which means I miss out on asking for my dream car.
As far as the car I ask for, either a 61′ Jaguar E-Type in BRG or gunmetal gray. If that’s too much, then a new ‘718 Boxster S in Guards Red.
I’ll take the Aspire, which will be a constant mild disappointment from coast to coast, as opposed to the Tracker, which will be a major disappointment when it conks out on I-80 in Iowa.
If I understand the premise, I only need to own the car for a week, but that week involves a cross-country drive.
I’m taking the Tracker, mostly based on the single fact that it has overdrive and secondarily because it seems to be a better choice for spending 40 hours behind the wheel in a week.
I think the Tracker would make it and be more the comfy option. Now what to ask for is a 718 Spyder RS still with in reason?
But I am more of a truck guy and sadly really don’t have room for a fun car. On Saturday was at my dealer getting my free for life service and they had a F-150 Black Widow with the 700HP supercharger option alongside a Raptor R, or is it finally time after 33+ years to move away from a pick up and go LX700? decisions, decisions. Nah think I’m staying with a pick up and I would guess/hope a Ranger Raptor would probably be the best and within reason option.
I Aspire to make it across the country to the funeral in my Aspire and not require a Tracker to locate me at the side of the interstate next to my broken Tracker.
I kinda want a GR86 to drive the scenic route back home.
I initially thought Brewster’s Thousands was going to be a higher amount, like $10,000 and you had to buy a car you thought would rack up that amount in repairs in one month to get the $$$$$.
Maybe tomorrow.
Careful, you may have just come up with a new reality TV series concept.
I’ll cruise the Tracker. If Samurai ownership taught me anything, it’ll get there, even if it’s a shitshow the whole time.
I’d request an Integra Type S in Blue please and thank you.
I feel like that Tracker just won’t make it, even though presumably it’d be a bit more comfortable to drive.
Stay in the right lane, crank up the tunes and you’ll make it with that tin can.
LOL real Fords aspired to be as good as the fucking Kia 😛
Yeah the Aspire was the second best new car sold at the Ford dealer at the time. The best was the Probe, a rebadged MX6.
The Tracker is cool too. Basically the XJ Done Right. Yeah, Suzuki is better than any Jeep Thing.