We’ve reached the end of a short week, and I’ve been subjecting you to some pretty ridiculous choices. But you’ve all been good sports about it, and now I’m giving you a chance to decide which one of our three finalists deserves a spot in the Autopian’s admittedly weird fleet – and who you’d like to see fix it up.
We looked at two fiberglass-bodied kit cars yesterday, and neither one made any of you particularly happy. One was grossly underpowered even if you replaced its batteries and got it running, the other was grossly overpriced for what you got, and they were both just kinda gross. The fake Ford beat the “electric banana” by nearly two-to-one, and most of you who did vote for the Invader wanted to convert it back to gas power.
Me, I’d take the T-bucket. I think I’d have more fun with it. It’s a good platform to experiment on, since it’s not really a classic and nobody really cares about it. A manual transmission swap wouldn’t be out of the question, and that fiberglass body would end up six layers thick in paint after trying out different looks. I’d rather have a four-seat touring body than the two-seat roadster, so there’s room for Betty, Veronica, and Jughead, but this would do.

If you’ve been around a while, you may have noticed that the writers here have some bizarre taste in cars, and make some questionable purchases. My now-sold MG, which only managed just over a thousand miles under its own power in my nine years of ownership, was actually one of the saner choices. We’ve had derelict mail Jeeps that had no business being on the road, tiny kei cars that were more Bondo than metal, moldy Grandma-mobiles pulled out of backyards and forced back to life against their will, and glorified golf carts purchased from China. And that’s not even counting the cursed taxicab or the butt-ugly SUV-ish thing across the Atlantic. This week, I’ve tried to come up with even worse ideas than those, and I’m not entirely sure I succeeded.
But what I’d like to know from you all is: Which one of these cars should have been a project of ours? And which one of us do you think should have been chosen to undertake it? We’ll go over the choices again, and then you can vote for a car and assign it to someone in the comments.
1982 Pontiac T1000 with a sketchy engine swap

GM’s T platform is the sort of car you don’t see anymore: built to a price, made from simple components, and only just good enough to hold together until the warranty expires. The fact that any survive at all says more about the owner’s care than the car’s build quality. Even if you find a “good” Chevette or T1000, it will still be crude and underpowered. The crude part is hard to do anything about, but you can definitely up the power – and the most sure-fire way to do that is with an engine swap.

Unfortunately, I think the builder of this one chose poorly. It has a 4.3 liter V6 out of a 2003 Chevy pickup, backed by a much older TH350 automatic. It uses the stock ECU to control the engine, but not the transmission, because it’s far too old for electronic controls. The whole thing seems half-assed and cobbled together from whatever was lying around, instead of carefully planned-out. If it were me, I’d yank that V6 out and look for something smaller and lighter, a twin-cam four-cylinder of some sort, along with a manual gearbox (this car was originally a manual). Plan it right, and it would still be much faster than stock, but drive and handle a whole lot better. And you would be able to close the hood.
1948 REO Speed Wagon 1.5 ton flatbed

Old trucks, like old houses, seem to have an ability to age gracefully. This truck must have been really handsome when it was new, but now that it’s pushing eighty years old, it could be seen as a pile of junk. Instead, it looks dignified, an elder statesman of the open road, enjoying a well-earned retirement. You could restore it, and make it gleam again, but cars are only original once, and you can’t create a new shiny version of it without destroying what it is now. And that is not an idea that should be taken lightly.

So if you decide to leave the exterior alone, you still have to do something about the mechanicals. Your first inclination might be to do an engine swap on this one too, or maybe drop that beautiful original sheetmetal onto a modern truck chassis, but I wouldn’t be too hasty to do that either. These old flathead sixes are simple machines, with low compression (probably around 6:1, if I had to guess) and a wide tolerance for tuning. Since it turns over freely, there’s a good chance it’s in good enough shape to run. In other words, as soon as you are able, I think you’d find this engine willing.
2017 Ford T-bucket kit car

Hot rods are polarizing; kit car hot rods even more so. They are definitely vehicles of a bygone era; you don’t find too many young people who would be interested in this car. But I think dismissing it as a “boomer ride” is a bit short-sighted too. There are so many things you could do with this car. It will never be eligible for events like The Race Of Gentlemen, or other events that demand originality, but there’s no reason it can’t look like one of those cars. Or break out the orange metalflake paint, and build it as a tribute to ’60s show rods. Get some steel wheels, paint them red, slap on some wide whitewalls, and do the rat-rod thing. Or even, if you must, go crazy with the billet aluminum and color-matched everything, Boyd Coddington-style. (Ugh.)

The point is, a vehicle style with this much history behind it can’t simply be dismissed as a cast-off relic of one generation. Hate it if you want, but don’t disrespect it. And feel free to ditch the Chevy small-block and three-speed automatic; there are far more interesting power sources for a hot rod. And that’s coming from a Chevy small-block fan.
So, your mission is to choose which one you think would make a good project vehicle for a writer here. Vote for your favorite in the poll, and then let me know in the comments whose driveway you’re dumping it in.









I voted Pontiac because it looks like the nomad starter car from Cyberpunk 2077.
That T1000 needs to be terminated. The T-Bucket should kick the bucket. That leaves the REO Speedwagon. It would be interesting see any of the Autopians’ takes on a restoration, but ultimately I’m going with Mercedes because after she gets it running she’ll slam a custom camper on the back (or haul a vintage trailer) and then she’ll actually drive it places.
The REO Speed Wagon, natch. It’s pure unadulterated Autopian. The others could be considered awfully Autopian but they just don’t have the je se sais quoi that the REO Speed Wagon has, especially with its lovely streamline moderne looks. The Pontiac’s looks are just cromulent and the pseudo-T-bucket’s looks are…half-assed despite (or, more accurately, because of) its ample rear end.
It’d probably be a violation of the Geneva Conventions to foist the REO Speed Wagon, despite its great aesthetics, on the Autopian’s resident Brit, Adrian Clarke, especially if it’s with the stipulation that it be his exclusive mode of transportation in England (though David might not spring for paying the London congestion charges) so SWG would be the best (& most humane) choice especially if and when his Durango finally gives up the ghost (with the occasional loan to Jason when the Marshal embraces its official nomenclature by being Found On Road Dead.)
Brian wins the pleasure of street parking the REO in NYC.
Oooooo, you’re a BAD person!
I had to vote REO. For the sole reason that it is the one car here that would be really interesting if brought back to original or near original. The Ford was not ever original and the Pontiac as original was a bad idea from a bad era to begin with. So REO we go. And I suppose that David can work on this thing.
the only one that runs is the one I would take. The others even the REO are just not interesting enough to spend any time or money on in the attempt to make them run.
Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from another you’ve been lookin’ around
They say you need a project
That defies reason and logic
They’re talkin’ about you and it’s bringin’ me down
But I know the neighborhood
And clicks are cheap when the story is good
And the tales grow taller on down the line
But I’m telling you, David
That I don’t think it’s true, babe
And even if it is, keep this in mind
You try to make it run, David
Cuz that’s the way we want it, David
And we still want you around
Some don’t believe it, not for a minute
You’re under the gun, so you’re gonna make it run
Mercedes is getting an REO Speedwagon, and an old school ramp truck bed on the back so she can bring home more cars.
The Speedwagon because it would be the best rolling billboard. First it goes to SWG for revival, then to Mercedes to cruise around since it looks like a train for the road, she road trips to Maryland where Mark performs covers of REO Speedwagon songs standing on the bed of the truck as a stage and there is a big party. Oh Torch makes a light show only using tail lights.
I used to have a REO just like that one, but mine was in bits so I’d intended to drop it onto a modern truck chassis but never got around to it. Just for your edification, the cab etc will almost direct fit onto a 90s dodge 3/4 ton chassis as that’s what I had measured up so one could throw a 4×4 Cummins 12 valve 1940s REO together given the time and lack of nostalgia. This one looks too nice to do that to but one that’s disassembled like mine was would be a contender.
DT has stated that he has little/no time to work on projects. Jason just barely got his 2CV working and still has others that need work to run. SWG uses his spare time to resurrect and sell cars to people who need modernish, reliable-ish and cheap transportation, basically doing the lord’s work, if you’re into that kinda thing.
Im w/ Mark. Bucket T for ease of working on it, parts availability, opportunity to do something fun. What drivetrain would i install? probably something inline and unexpected. Ford 300 I-6 with a turbo? volvo I-5 Jakob style? K24 I-4 (are there rwd transmissions that fit that engine? idk)? Maybe a ford 2.3 eco-chooch from a mustang? The possibilities are endless! Plus fun time with paint! Involve the kiddos in its artistic direction decision making!
DT, is JONESing to work on a Truck that can give him Tetanus. REO Speed wagon is the drug.
The REO Speed Wagon and DT gets it. If he’s going to keep looking for a soulful truck I can’t think of a better one than this. Throw a modern drivetrain in and cruise it to HD.
I voted against the Pontiac the other day, but for it today. It’s something you can actually drive, unlike the truck, and it actually has some practicality, unlike the T-bucket. Plus it looks pretty mean!
REO Speedwagon. Who to bring it to it’s full potential? I feel like SWG could really bring it back to what it desereves. Yes, it’s more suited to DT, but he doesn’t have the time right now with his fleet o’ Jeeps.
It’s too hard to choose!! If there ever was a day for an “ALL” button, this is it!
The T-1000 goes to Ms Mercedes to be Gambler-ized. Lift it, put some knobbies and off road lights on and SEND IT!!!
The REO, of course, goes to David. It’s now his all purpose hauler. If we REALLY wanna get nuts, David gets it going, then the rest of the staff flies in and builds the Autopian RV Mobile Command Center out back. Mercedes oversees this.
The T-bucket? That’s going to Goth Uncle Adrian. Keep it black and add some brass carriage lamps to fit his aesthetic.
This is the way.
This is an excellent take on the morning question.
Chrome for the carriage lamps, not a glint of color anywhere including him registering it with old style polished aluminum and black British number plates.
REO Speedwagon.
The Pontiac is a hard NOPE. The rod is, eh, cool I guess. But the REO is all patina, could do some heavy lifting if you need to pick up a parts car, and will be an absolute magnet at car shows.
Who to give it to? Torch and David are too busy. Mercedes has a fascination with trucks but has too many projects and not enough storage. Let Gossin have a crack and really test his wrenching skills.
I mean if it’s YOU, then Speedwagon Foundation all the way. Go help some Joestars in that beautifully patinaed old farm truck. And I don’t have to find a place to park it. Win win.
As for whom, I guess DT or Torch, but sending it to different Autopian writers across the country and letting them also work on it. Make it collaborative.
I’m glad someone got a JoJo reference in. Also 100% agree to make it collaborative. Might let other Autopians get to see it was well
It’s gotta be the Pontiac. It’s obscure, it’s nonsensical, it’s perfect for you. That’s right Mark, I’m saddling the Pontiac with you.
I know you’ve got an empty spot in that garage. Mercedes will blow up the V6, then shove it in her warehouse until it gets moldy. David will stick it in the Galpin backlot and never even look at it again. Torch has enough non-runners in his yard already. SWG … he could actually do something with it, but it’s not a Mopar so his heart won’t be in it.
If I were to get ahold of that little Poncho, I’d stick a pair of eBay turbos on those forward pointing headers that are clearly meant for turbos.
Um, can it wait until after I move? There’s no way I’m towing another car long distance.
I think that’s reasonable. It is likely to still be available then 🙂
The REO is the coolest, but there’s already a lot of articles about project trucks/Jeeps.
The unique twist would be buying the T Bucket; nothing like that has ever graced the pages here.
Turn the REO into the official Autopian promotional vehicle. Sell merch off the back, have rusty-fastener loosening contests, “Name that tail light” trivia games, a wheel-barrow full of shrimp for refreshments, take it to Monterrey… The possibilities are endless!
I would go T-Bucket, but the Speedwagon is pure Autopian. Making Thomas do the work would bring the most entertainment value IMO.
I thought David was using his new Comanche to tow the REO Speedwagon back to California.
That project would pair nicely building a Jeep from the same era.
Well, if I remember correctly, the T bucket runs? That’s good enough I guess.
That REO Speedwagon absolutely screams Tracy and Torchinsky.