Welcome back! Today’s scenario is all about winning a bet. We’ve all shot our mouth off about something sometime and then been forced to back it up. So we’re going to go through a little mental exercise that involves two terrible cars and a matter of pride.
Yesterday, we were looking for something to teach a kid stickshift on, and we checked out a Ford Escort and a Chevy Aveo. Lots of arguments were made both for and against each one, but the consensus seemed to be that either one was fine for the task. The Aveo won, by virtue of being a little newer and therefore marginally safer, and having fewer miles.
I think I agree. If the mileage were equal, I’d feel better about the Escort, but the difference in feel between 200,000 and 300,000 miles is huge. The Aveo just seems like it has more life left in it.
So here’s today’s scenario: You’re three drinks into a nice, long Skype-and-bourbon conversation with an old friend who lives on the other side of the country. The talk turns to crappy old cars, a topic you’re both more than a little familiar with. You’ve recently moved to the West Coast, and he wants to know if the cheap car market is really as good as it seems.
“Oh yeah!” you say. “As long as you’re talking just basic transportation, you can find a lot of good, cheap deals out here. And they don’t rust! Why, I bet I could buy a car tomorrow for like fifteen hundred bucks, drive it to your place, and sell it for a profit, just because there’s no rust on it.”
Your friend takes a thoughtful sip of his drink and swallows slowly. “You’re on.”
“What?”
“You’re on. Buy a car for $1,500 or less tomorrow, drive it here, and we’ll see if we can sell it for more than you paid for it.”
“What do I get if I win?” you ask.
He thinks for a second. “My undying respect,” he says finally, “and the rest of this bottle … but no Toyotas or Hondas. That’s too easy.”
You text him back in the morning to confirm that you’re actually going through with this, and start shopping. You find a whole lot of nothing; all the cheap cars seem to have dried up just when you need one. But these two ads jump out at you, and you think maybe one of them is up to the challenge.
1999 Mercury Sable LS – $1,299
Engine/drivetrain: 3.0-liter OHV V6, four-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Odometer reading: 192,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
“Not a pretty car,” this ad states, and that, at least, is a fact. The “catfish” generation Ford Taurus and Mercury Sable were never attractive cars to begin with, but someone has seen fit to equip this one with a landau top. Not only that, but it’s not like the landau top on a Town Car or something, that starts at the B pillar. No, this one starts in the middle of the rear door glass. It’s like a toupee with a built-in receding hairline. I’ve never seen anything quite like it, and I hope never to again.
Unattractive as it may be on the outside, the Sable has a lot going for it as a cheap, reliable car. The Vulcan V6, which I’m presuming this car has based on the lack of a “DOHC 24V” badge on the front fender, is a solid piece, and while Ford’s automatic transmission game hasn’t always been the strongest, these seem to hold up all right if you keep clean fluid in them. This one has 192,000 miles on it, enough to shake the bugs out, but not so many that it should feel worn-out. The seller says it runs smoothly and quietly, and it even has current tags.
We don’t get a very good view of the interior in the ad. This is about as good as it gets. It has a cheap steering wheel cover on it, and some garbage in the passenger footwell – not encouraging signs, but I guess you’d have to see it in person to determine whether or not you’re willing to spend a few days driving across the country in it. There’s no word on the status of the air conditioning; that might be a deciding factor.
Apart from that spectacularly ugly roof treatment, it does have a few issues outside. The trunk lock is missing, as is one hubcap, and the right rear window looks like it might be off-track. The clearcoat on the hood is in sorry shape, too. But it is rust-free, so it fits the brief.
2006 Nissan Altima 2.5 S – $1,200
Engine/drivetrain: 2.5-liter DOHC inline 4, four-speed automatic, FWD
Location: San Gabriel, CA
Odometer reading: 149,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
As far as I can tell, every third-generation Nissan Altima on the road was purchased secondhand. They were never actually new cars. It’s like they sprang into being sometime around 2010, spawning from the ground on buy-here-pay-here lots, complete with balding tires, aftermarket stereos, and at least one scuff on the bumper. And yet, they seem to reach a certain state of decay and just stay there, racking up the miles and refusing to die. This one has a long way to go before it reaches that final stage; other than a mismatched hood, it’s almost too nice.
Underneath that taupe hood is Nissan’s QR25DE four-cylinder engine and a four-speed automatic, the quintessential “Altima going 90 MPH down the freeway” drivetrain. Earlier versions had some problems with oil burning, but by 2006, it had been pretty well sorted out, and this one should be reliable. There is one bit of weirdness in the ad, however; they say it passed a smog test, but then claim that the catalytic converter is going bad. Those two would seem to be mutually exclusive; if it passed the test, the cat should be fine, right? The seller also seems to think that using premium fuel will help alleviate the cat issues, which, of course, it won’t. Nissan specs regular 87 octane unleaded in it; there’s no reason to use anything else.
The interior in it doesn’t look too bad, actually. It’s in good condition, not ripped or stained, and I don’t even see any air fresheners dangling from anything, a telltale sign that a car might be stinky inside. The seller does note that everything works inside, including the air conditioning – which, on a car this cheap, is a massive score.
Apart from the hood, it doesn’t look too bad outside either. There is some clearcoat peeling, and a few scuffs and scrapes, but those just serve as a warning to other drivers to give you a wide berth. In the interest of full disclosure, this is not a California car – it came from Colorado. But although they get a lot of snow, Colorado doesn’t typically salt the roads, so it shouldn’t be rusty underneath.
Typically, if you buy a car this cheap, you’re just hoping it starts the next morning. For the purposes of this exercise, however, I’m asking you to go further and put a couple or three thousand miles on it, exactly as it sits. According to the sellers, both cars run and drive just fine at the moment, but which one do you think will keep doing so for long enough to win the bet?
Drove a 1999 Altima across the country and it was flawless. Little slow up come mountains, but was getting +/- 30mpg fully loaded
How much for a bus pass?
I went Altima, mostly because of familiarity. I was a Nissan tech between ’08-’11 and worked on tons of them. Early QR25s had an issue where the cat would eat itself and the engine would suck those particles back in through the exhaust, but all that was covered under recall and this one should have the updated parts and ECU programming. If the cat is indeed bad, it’s not too difficult to swap out. The only other major recall was for the rear subframe corroding, but that’s not an issue on a CA car. Besides that, they were pretty solid cars.
The one elective modification I would do is swap in earlier taillights with amber indicators, as God intended.
I bought an ’06 brand new that was identical to the one in this article (Special Edition!!), it was a fantastic car. I ditched the manifold in favor or a stainless header just in case. The only true part failures in 200k miles were an O2 sensor, crank position sensor (imagine that), and one of the A/C hoses, all of which I fixed. I sold it to a cheap ass coworker who uses it as his daily…it’s up to 240k miles now and he’s replaced the cam position sensor but nothing else.
Still on the original front pads and rotors!
Too many red flags on the Altima, plus I successfully flipped a Taurus for a profit in college so I’m feeling lucky.
The Altima has a grey interior, which is much better than the usual Nissan Death Black. Both have foggy headlights but the cataracts on the Sable are killing me. I choose Altima. Everyone will give me a wide berth and won’t make eye contact.
I can’t believe that Aveo won…is this The Autopian? What a piece of junk penalty box…just like this ugly junk Sable. I’m not voting FoMoCo Fix Or Repair Daily/Found On Road Dead 3 days in a row…even if I have to vote…Altima. They are still ok cars if you just need a car…as far as Nissan, would much prefer a 90’s Maxima. I’m selling this one anyway for this scenario, so it doesn’t matter. That landau roof is horrible…basically no one will buy it looking like that. If I was keeping it, I would light it on fire then drive it off a cliff (jumping out at the last second) Ha ha
There is no logic to that landau top, even if the Sable beats with the heart of the Vulcan. Selling it will require more than a bit of intervention by the god of Mercury. The real question for the journey will be the ‘not-known for durability Ford’ automatic transmission, doubly so at nearly 200,000 miles.
The Nissan has the last vestiges of pre-Ghosn era with the older, but reliable 4-speed automatic. The QR four cylinder will run, but likely use oil, which is probably why the catalytic converter is fouled. Bring a jug (or two) of used motor oil, since it will likely use it. Why used oil? Answer: Don’t waste good new oil that’s going to go out the tailpipe.
My choice: Altima, because at least people will expect me going quickly. Especially when I’ve nearly 3,000 miles to go for this ride. Sell it back to a buy-here-pay-here lot, completing the circle of life in a place where it won’t need an emissions test.
The Sable, if only because I owned its Ford twin more-or-less; it sure looks little changed from 1997. That powertrain was bulletproof, and it’s quite comfy on the highway.
Selling it at a profit might be tough but I’m pretty sure I could get $1,300 for it, and a buck earned is a buck save… er… it’s something.
I’d just hope its audio system was still functional. It might have the 6-CD changer in the trunk (can’t tell from the photo), if not, that could be grim since I don’t think it has an aux input.
This time the Shitbox showdown is really living up to its name! That Sable! I guarantee you people will try to sell you meth and fentanyl every time you stop at a stop light.
As much as I’d love counting the WTF? looks the roof on the Sable would engender, I’m going Altima. The A/C definitely works and the trunk actually locks, which is kind of a nice thing when you’re driving cross country. I’ll bank on it making the 3K miles.
From experience, I can tell you that a Taurus/Sable with over 150k miles will definitely feel worn out. Everyone I’ve known that owned one also experienced transmission problems, and by “problems” I mean complete failure.
Selling the Altima would probably be easier and that is about the last good year plus people get worried around 200k mi 150k with altma energy people is fine. Though I’m not sure dealing with Altima energy people on both ends would be pleasant. I bet you would do better with a ranger or other small truck especially if going to new England. Could probably take a $1k to 1500 truck and get 3k to 4k maybe more for it.