Happy Friday, Autopians! For today’s festivities, I have a question for you: How do you feel about playing in the dirt? That’s what I’m going to do this weekend, at an amateur rallycross meetup. Your mission for the day is to revisit our week’s winners and decide which one is the best choice for such shenanigans.
But to do that, we need a fourth contender, and in our second tight race of the week, it’s the Dodge Ram 1500. Its slightly more modern platform and less mangled interior seem to have given it the edge over its Dakota competition. The only qualm most of you had about the Ram was its automatic transmission, from a durability standpoint. It’s a valid concern, but at well over 200,000 miles, it has probably been rebuilt or replaced already.
I have to look at these as someone who already has a great truck. Which one would make a better replacement, if some terrible fate were to befall my big green machine? Honestly, it’s hard to say. The Dakota would seem like the obvious choice, since it’s a stickshift and a long-bed like my truck, but I do like the looks of that Ram, rust notwithstanding. I’d have to drive them both and see which one felt more like home.
I imagine many of our readers are at least familiar with the wonderful corner of the internet known as Opposite Lock. It started out as an off-topic sub-blog back at the old orange place, but has since struck out on its own, and become a thriving community of car-loving weirdos. Every spring, for a couple (?) years now, one member has hosted Oppocross, a weekend-long rallycross get-together in central Michigan. No competition, no pressure, just enthusiasts driving crappy old cars around a dirt track. Since I’m now only a couple of hours away, I finally get to attend this year.
There are a handful of “community cars” bought with donations that anyone can drive, but a lot of people bring their own cars as well, sometimes specially prepared for rallycross. I don’t know that I’ll ever be in a position to have a car for such purposes – though I’d be a lot more interested in that than another interminable “classic project car” – but I can definitely see the appeal. I’m driving my truck up, but I don’t plan to drive it hard; it will at most see a couple of gentle laps to get some action photos.
Your task, for today, is to imagine that you are shopping for a cheap car for fun driving events like Oppocross, and you’ve narrowed it down to these four possibilities. I’ll give you what I think the pros and cons of each one are, and then you can decide.
1988 Chevrolet Cavalier RS Coupe
The case for it: Old J-cars are particularly good in the snow, so I imagine they’d do well on dirt, too. And the “never say die” durability of it should work in its favor. It doesn’t have to run well; it just has to keep running. I bet it would look cool going sideways around a curve, too.
The case against it: This is a pretty nice survivor Cavalier, almost too nice to thrash around and get all dirty. It also has an unspecified coolant leak that will need repair, and the cooling system is already a bit of an Achilles heel on the J platform. Overheating would spoil the fun in short order.
1992 Ford Tempo GLS
The case for it: It’s the only manual transmission of the bunch, which adds a little more fun and control to the mix. It also has a little more power for its size than the Cavalier or the Honda. And the absurdity of a rally Ford Tempo is too good to pass up.
The case against it: This one is awfully nice to beat up, too. And those stupid automatic belts seem like a liability for any kind of serious driving like that. I guess you could take them out and install some real seat belts.
1996 Honda Accord EX
The case for it: It’s already kind of ruined, and it already has a salvage title. And it’s a tough car with good parts support. The crazy color would stand out, too; you could become known for a car like this. I think you’d have to take the window tint off, though.
The case against it: It’s getting up there in mileage, and nothing lasts forever, not even a Honda Accord.
2001 Dodge Ram 1500
The case for it: Since it’s a truck, it has a ton of ground clearance, even being 2WD. That can come in handy any time you’re off the pavement. And it’s the only rear-wheel-drive vehicle here, which makes it a little trickier to master, but more fun once you get good with it.
The case against it: Not much, except for the potential transmission issues. It’s kind of big and ponderous, too, so it might not be as much fun to throw around as the smaller cars.
I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to this weekend. I don’t get as many chances as I’d like to drive for the sheer pleasure of driving. Lots of people fantasize about getting to drive a Ferrari or something, and yeah, that would be cool, but I’d rather put a cheap car through its paces and not have to worry so much about it than tiptoe around in a car that cost as much as my house. I guess it’s just how I’m wired. And you all must enjoy cheap cars too, or you wouldn’t be reading this. So if you had your choice of one of these cars, just to have some fun with on a dirt course laid out in a field, which one would it be?
I would go with the Honda. It is almost certainly the fastest of the four. Plus, it feels expendable due to the salvage title and questionable modifications. I would try to find better wheels/tires (those seem like a puncture waiting to happen on pavement, much less dirt), add spring spacers for a bit more ground clearance, and strip the interior to add lightness. I hated this thing as a car to use on the road, but as a rally car it actually seems like a good choice.
It was between the Ram and the Accord for me, and I went with the Ram for extra ground clearance. If I’m going to thrash it to death then the possibility that it’s due for transmission #2 or #3 doesn’t worry me.
I would be a bit cautious about using a pickup truck on a dirt course with tight turns. Trucks were still used for truck things back then, meaning the rear springs are a bit too stiff for the very light unladen rear end. They were built for loads. It’s probably not as bad as a 3/4 ton of the time, but still likely unpredictable at best.
The other problem is the extra ground clearance comes with high center of mass. Combine this with how hooking a rut will turn over just about anything…and I’d seriously consider a racing seat, harness, and a sturdy cage. And by then you’re well on the way to sportsman short course…
Feelin’ Rambunctious today.
The Cavalier and Tempo are survivors and shouldn’t meet their end that way. The Dodge was a close second, but it deserves to live out it’s life duing useful truck things. That leaves us with the pink Honda. With an R-title, the paint, and high miles, it would be rather dumb to try and do anything good and useful with it at this point. Let it go out in a pink blaze of glory.
The Accord. Except, instead of Pepto Bismal stickers, I’m sprinkling coconut flakes on it and slapping on some Hostess Snoball graphics.
I mean, the Chevy IS badged as a RS…
…methinks it was born for this.
Tempos have always handled like pigs. Would an iron V6 in the front improve that? I don’t think so. Wait! I just checked, and Honda’s 2.2L inline four makes more HP than the Ford V6, so it’s not even good on paper!
I’m 100% in on the Accord for this scenario!
What is it you say? There are other options? No, I don’t see any other cars for this. (Checks blinders) Nope! I’m good!
The tempo, there is no competition, the nice thing is once it’s your car, you get to decide its fate… there is no such thing as too nice for rally cross.
On a serious note though, I just don’t want to race something with an auto, even if I am not competitive. I would have more fun rowing my own gears, and it already has a racing stripe. I do think the Honda would make a great “rental” for the track.
The Honda, even if you take down a tree with it, is worth more than the purchase price in parts.
This one is really tough, because the qualities are really well distributed across the condenders. Tempo has a stick, Accord is already beat to shit, and the Ram has RWD and will likely stand up to the abuse well.
Out of all of them, I think I’d prefer the Tempo because it’s got a manual, but in reality I’d go with the Accord because there’s just no concern about beating it up, and parts are still really cheap. I’d bet the Accord is about as fast as the Tempo v6 stick too, not like those were performance powerhouses. RWD in the Ram is fun, but lots of pickups are not allowed in RX because of the rollover risk. I used to run an automatic RX8 in rallycross and it was reasonably competitive, but more importantly a boatload of fun.
You’re right about the American compact sedans being too nice to cut up and cage. The Ram is way too big and if it’s just friends in the woods, your friends will ban trucks the moment they have to get out the telehandler because you rolled it over. Again. For the fifth time. Which also assumes that rollcages are mandatory.
The Honda should be great for a weekend, and you never have to worry about ruining it because it already is. That’s my vote. And it’s still getting Pepto-Bismol vinyls.
On the other hand, if we’re talking professional Rallycross Supercars, there’s something immensely appealing about turning a Tempo into a Tempo-bodied, AWD, pseudo RS200 with a mid-mounted SHO V6. The Ecoboost one with twin turbos. Just not that Tempo. Have to find a high mileage Arizona car with baked paint.
I started rallycross in 2011 after our autocross season ended and I had just discovered the local SCCA region. They had one more RX event and a rental Ford Probe. For an extra $20 to throw someone else’s car around the dirt? Why not?
After one run I started plans in my head to buy a car. Gave me the perfect excuse for a cheap MK1 MR2 that the (ex)wife always poopooed. I had lots of fun in that thing, building it up over the years. Then decided to try AWD. Enter two different Subbies, before I took a break around 2019.
I want to try casually getting back into it, and just bought a Miata with a hardtop that’s rustic enough to not worry about scratches and dirt.
More to the point, that pink Honda is perfect! Yeah it isn’t a manual, but honestly the rental Probe was an auto & using 1st and 2nd that thing was one of the fastest cars that day.
V6 stick with some lift spacers jammed in, here we gooooooo!
The Accord!! TO VALHALLA!!!
Pepto Bismol Honda and wrap it with the Pepto logo. When the head gasket blews, the exhaust will start smoking bad, Pepto is no longer working.
The Tempo already has a racing stripe. And I hate those cars, so I won’t feel bad thrashing it.
I’ll take the Pink Panther and try to ruin it!
I’ve already got lightly used snow tires that’ll fit on that Accord. I can see the flying pink Accord living out it’s best end of life possible playing in the dirt.