Building one good car out of two damaged or questionable ones sounds easy enough: just figure out which one is the “good” car and which is the “parts” car, and start swapping parts over. But I’ve tried it, and it’s a lot more work than I ever want to do again. But for someone with more enthusiasm and less wisdom, either of today’s choices would do a great job of filling your garage up with clutter for years.
That teal Saturn won again yesterday, but you know what? I’m sick of writing about it. So I’m calling an audible. The mystery car came in second, so I’m giving it the win and using it as one of today’s choices. That Saturn is cool and all, but you can overdo a good thing. (Looking at you, Marvel.)
I’m surprised that MR2 didn’t do better, actually. Sure, the interior is rough, and the title is branded, but it’s a cool little car. It is a little expensive for what it is, I suppose.

So, what was the Bishop’s mystery choice? A Renault Fuego, of course. Two, actually. This complicated things, because I had to find another pair of cars. Luckily, I remembered that I had seen a pair of Alfa Romeos recently, so I just had to track them down. Let’s check them out, and see which two-fer is the better option.
1984 Renault Fuego plus 1982 Fuego parts car – $2,999

Engine/drivetrain: 2.2-liter OHC inline 4, three-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Ypsilanti, MI
Odometer reading: 37,000 miles
Operational status: Runs well, needs brake and transmission work
Of course it’s a Fuego. What else would it be? The Bishop has similar taste in cars to me, or at least a similar appreciation for the unusual and unloved. And cars don’t get much more unloved and unusual than a Renault Fuego. Sporty coupes were big in the ’80s, but the Fuego just missed the mark. Its build quality and reliability weren’t great, its handling was lacking, and its styling wasn’t for everyone. Not many were sold, and very few survive today. When one comes up for sale, it’s usually scruffy, low-mileage, and just pulled out of storage. Like this one.

The Fuego was available with a couple of different drivetrains. You could get a 1.6-liter engine, a 1.6 with a turbo, or, starting in 1984, a 2.2-liter four, which this one has. It also has an automatic transmission. This probably makes it a rarer car than the turbo models, actually; I’m not sure I’ve ever seen an automatic Fuego. It starts and runs fine, and it’s kinda-sorta drivable, but it has a leaking front brake line, and there’s some mention of a toggle switch to shift the transmission, which makes no sense to me.

Apart from some faded paint and a couple of popped seams on the seats, it’s actually in really nice shape. I don’t see any signs of rust or damage, and it rides on a nice set of Alliance GTA wheels. The cloth sunroof opens and closes, but it needs new seals, so it’s duct-taped shut. Can you still get sunroof seals for a Renault Fuego? I have no idea.

This is the parts car, a 1982 non-turbo model, which means it has the wheezy 1.6-liter engine. The seller says it has a nice interior, but we don’t get any photos to back up that assertion. Two spare transmissions and a whole stack of service manuals are also included.
1977 and 1979 Alfa Romeo Spiders – $4,000

Engine/drivetrain: 2.0-liter DOHC inline 4, five-speed manual, RWD
Location: Ridgecrest, CA
Odometer reading: 79,000 and 81,000 miles
Operational status: “Both ran within the last 3 years”
Italian sports cars are never not going to be special. Whether or not they’re worth their often high prices, or the hassles involved in keeping them on the road, is up for debate, but they’re always going to be cool. And while some enthusiasts are able to spring for big-ticket Italians like Ferraris and Lamborghinis, for the rest of us, there are the Spiders. Both Fiat and Alfa Romeo sold a bunch of little convertibles here in the US, and a surprising number of them are still kicking around. Restored examples are getting expensive, but rough ones are still pretty accessible. This pair of rust-free Alfa Spiders is going to be a lot of work for someone, but if you just have to have your Italian car fix, they’re a pretty cheap way to start.

The Alfa Spider was in production for an astonishing twenty-seven years over four generations. The body style stayed largely the same, but you can always tell the generations apart from the rear. These two are from the second generation, with a Kamm tail but no big black rubber spoiler like the third generation had. Both of these cars have been sitting in an airplane hangar for a decade since the owner passed away. Unfortunately, they passed away without telling anyone where the titles were, so these two are being sold with no titles. Jump through enough hoops at the DMV, and you can probably get them titled again without too much trouble.

They’re both reasonably clean outside, but rough inside. One has no top at all, and the other needs its top replaced. One has a new exhaust, the other was tuned up shortly before they were put in storage, and both have allegedly run within the past three years. Both need new brakes. Both of these should have the 2.0-liter engine with SPICA mechanical fuel injection, and you should have no trouble finding parts or advice to get them running.

Interior stuff could be harder to find. Better join an owner’s club that can hook you up with a source for parts. I’m sure someone has a barn full of Alfa Spider parts, including an entire interior for at least one of these.
And thus ends the whole “mystery car” experiment, at least for now. I’ll probably try a variation on it again later, but for now, we’re going back to two known cars each day. One thing you’ll never see again, however, is a “neither” option. You have to choose. Will it be the oddly-styled French coupes, or the derelict Italian roadsters?









I have to give the seller of the Fuegos props for the quality photography. He almost manages to make the burgundy one look like a viable project car. Almost.
Alphas.
I love an underdog, but those Fuegos are under the underdog.
At $4k for a pair of Alfas, provided the roof & windows are all there and work & there’s no frame rot, you could get them running and spray-liner a minimalist interior with some aftermarket seats.
If you wanted, you could kit them up with newer stuff – but why not lean fully into having a cheap convertible
Alfa’s are relatively simple. They have a fairly wide support base and all the needed parts should be available. Plus, you can fix BOTH cars up to create TWO classics.
Learn on one and sell it. Keep the second one. Seems like a great a project. They will be beautiful when done.
I will admit I do have a bias……….
No matter which one you choose, you’re getting a pair of deuces.
Solid number twos, for sure.
I smell what you’re saying and it’s not good.
Hopefully none of them runs.
Renault Fuego, the official car of regretting not having bought the AMC Spirit that was next to it on the dealer’s lot.
Alfa Romeo, definitely. When you’re done you’ll have a Desirable Car. A red Spider might not be the most interesting car to show, but it’d be better to drive.
I will never not regret not buying the Spirit. Though I like the Eagle even better.
If I’m lighting money en fuego, I think I’ll go with the Alfas.
Fuegos.
Spiders, in red, especially, are boring.
And convertibles are awful.
Also, that automagic Fuego sounds like it’s a little bit of brake work away from being mostly driveable. And it has a pretty nice interior, especially given the shitbombs that went off in the Alfas.
A lunch of croque monseuir and Galoise smoke doesn’t sound bad. Conduissez en Francais, sil vous plait.
I’ll take the twin Spidoodlers. I’ve always liked them, and I personally know at least 4 people in my city that are experts in dealing with Italian ladies, especially these ones.
BTW – Alfa parts are not that hard to find
https://www.worlduph.com/alfa_romeo/105-115_series_spider/interior/
https://www.centerlinealfa.com/store?page=1&cat=Interior%20and%20Tops&model=105spider&sort=
https://www.myalfagroup.com/en/SHOP/ALFA-SPIDER-105-115/INTERIOR-PARTS/?srsltid=AfmBOop3T383UIF1I-bt_kXqEvlFi-LtZIP-CFExrIK0AxNuBsD3QrRH
Google is your friend.
Very much agreed. They are nearly as well supported as Little British Cars, and overall, much better cars (they certainly have their Achille’s heels though, RUST being the big one).
Though annoyingly, the best Alfa parts specialists are in the UK. Back when I had mine even with shipping it was often cheaper to buy the parts from the UK than from the US suppliers. With the Dipshit in Chief tariffs, and the removal of the small-shipment exception, I imagine not-so-much anymore.
I have found that overseas sellers are sometimes open to marking the values of shipments lower than actual costs paid – because it’s no skin off their backs….
Your mileage may vary.
Individuals yes, but I doubt any real company will take the risk.
I like — and have owned — Renaults, but the time I spent in Fuegos was, well, unsatisfying. The 1.6 made a VW Beetle feel like a Top Fuel dragster, the 1.6 Turbo was a little better (but not much), and the 2.2 was…adequate. The seats were wonderful, though.
So, it’s the Alfas by a kilometer, if not a mile. Easy on the eyes, three pedals and engines that seem to rev forever. Some wrenching, cleaning and a few bucks will get you a delightful car. Or, if you’re ambitious, two cars.
The fuego just makes me ask why bother? Even if you get it running, it’s an ugly penalty box. The alphas will at least look good when they aren’t running most of the time.
The Alfas…
Careful with pedantry in the Autocorrect age. I’m still training my new phone to stop substituting words without permission. I barely caught that it autocorrected “helluva” to “cellular” in a comment below.
I was all set to pick mystery door number 3. The Alfas do look more fun, but getting them to a fun state is going to be a lot. Reluctant vote today.
Renauctant?
Alfas, easy!! I mean, if you put in the work and money, in one case you’ve got possibly two cool, red Italian cars!
In the other case, you’ve got a Fuego.
The Alfas have potential, but the Renault + parts car is much closer to being something I could drive. Ypsi is practically in walking distance of me too. If this is my last post, it’s because I bought the Renaults and didn’t survive the part where my wife found out. Don’t bother looking for me. With how much she loves murder shows my body will never be found.
I, too, worry about how much my wife LOVES murder shows. She doesn’t seem like the kind of person who’d commit murder, but if the moment came where she snapped, I kinda think she might know how to get away with it.
“Oh, the garage needed a new floor.
My Husband? Haven’t seen him in weeks….
So what will you give me for those two Renaults?”
Even if they found me under the concrete no jury would convict her.
“My husband used some of the money we saved to remodel our kitchen on a slightly broken and a completely broken pair of obscure French cars.”
Unless the jury is 12 of us she’s at worst getting a mistrial.
Almost every show my wife and I watch together is a British cop drama on Britbox, Acorn, or PBS Masterpiece. Fortunately for me, she’s not a DIY’er and would try to find someone else to do it. With our limited cash on hand (free cash is going into home renovation), she wouldn’t be able to hire a very competent hitman.
“Sorry Mum – ‘ee’s merely maimed. ‘Ee’s missin’ ‘is lef’ foot now.”
“That’s fine – I’m sure he’s learned his lesson. Here’s your money.
Oh! And would you like a Renault too?”
You need to discover MHZ. You will never be satisfied with ‘other’ murder mysteries again.
I remember IRegretNothing, Esq, DMV, BBQ. They lit up every room they every walked into, put a smile on everyone’s face. It was a happy marriage until the Renaults.
His last words were “I regret nothing”.
Italian vs French? Took me a millisecond…
You gotta know when to fold ’em … know when to walk away, and know when to run.
Parts for those Alfas are pretty accessible, so that’s where I’m going. Put a couple thousand dollars into one and auction it off for maybe $6000 and you’ve got a free car that needs a bit of work.
Can’t choose, both are bad options. I will stick to walking if these were my only choice.
I knew the Bishop wouldn’t give us a K-car, so I’m glad I picked the mystery option.
Should be easy, Alfa over Renault, but I’m going Fuego. I had an Alliance, and it was decent. Survived a drunk pulling out in front of me in a giant 70s Chevy, so I have a fondness for Renault.
I have also owned multiple Saabs, so I might not make the best decisions.
I was rear-ended in my ’71 Volvo 144S by a Renault Encore (The hatchback version of the Alliance)
My rear bumper and tailpipe were slightly twisted.
The front of the Alliance was demolished. Apparently when I stopped, my rear came up and the bumper of the Renault went under mine – so that my bumper took out the grille, hood, radiator, etc.
I’m going with the Alfas today – and throwing money at someone to put one back together for me so that I’ll have another red convertible.
71 Volvo vs Encore isn’t a fair fight. That Volvo’s completely in a different weight class/tier/it’s a better car.
This^ for the win. Get the Alfa Romeo’s, get out your checkbook and be done. Ef it, redo both of them, we only live once right?
Writing in the Saturn under protest.
Its $3500 price looks like a helluva deal now, don’t it?
The $2500 Concorde, a better deal.
I second the motion.
But either of today’s picks gets you closer to your ideal cylinder count!
Non functional cylinders barely count.
Maybe Mark can throw in a V-twin to sweeten the deal?
“Here, under protest, we have beef burgers…”
I was ready to vote that Saturn till the very end. Now I’m going to end up with two Fuegos instead? Not happy about that.
The Mystery Car for today should have been the Teal Saturn
Back in the 1980s I was dating a French girl and she said back then that even the French know French cars are garbage.
To the Guillotine!
The last bit of French machinery that did its job flawlessly.
It looked sharp and was a cut above the rest.
Don’t lose your head – my Peugeot Peppermill has never failed me.
I’d still rather the MR2
Well, that will be the last time I go with The Bishop.
Can’t believe I passed on a low mileage teal stick shift for two broken automatic Renaults in Rotting Apple Red.
Take your smiley for such a wonderful color name. It’s fortunate this really isn’t a thing anymore.