Good morning! We’re looking at all domestic cars this week, and you may recall yesterday that I said I was going decade-by-decade. Yeah, forget that. I have skipped 1980s cars because the good ones have just gotten too damn expensive, and I skipped the 1970s because I wanted to show the best Detroit had to offer, and, well…
We looked at a couple of 1960s trucks yesterday, and I thought they were fairly comparable. Most of you disagreed, and the vote came out much more lopsided than I expected. The basic six-cylinder GMC was the winner by a country mile. The mention of Bondo on the Dodge scared off a lot of you, but the general consensus seemed to be that Mopar was just outclassed by GM here.
I tend to agree. I’m a Chrysler fan (just in case you’re new here), but when it comes to pickups, I go for GM every time. The Action Line trucks are great looking, just enough more modern to drive than earlier trucks, and always guaranteed to get attention these days. And a six with a three-on-the-tree is the definitive old truck drivetrain.
The 1970s were brutal on the car industry here in the US. The combination of two gas crunches, a bunch of new regulations, and near-constant labor issues made for a bunch of slow, poorly-made, ungainly cars. We romanticize them sometimes, but the truth is they were awful. The 1980s got better, eventually, but that decade started out with new technologies that took a long time to perfect.
Today’s competitors come from the early 1990s, a time when the designs of the ’80s had gotten as refined as they were going to get, and the build quality problems were more or less ironed out. No one is going to call either of these cars exciting, but they’re reasonably nice, reasonably well put together, and they both have a nice comfy red velour bench seat across the front. That has to count for something, right? Let’s check them out.
1993 Oldsmobile Cutlass Cruiser S – $4,500
Engine/drivetrain: 3.3-liter OHV V6, four-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Fayetteville, NC
Odometer reading: 45,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
GM’s second foray into front-wheel-drive (after the Olds Toronado and its derivatives) got off to a rocky start. The X-body was a rushed design, poorly built, and it spent more time being recalled than it did racking up miles. The A-body which followed a couple of years later fared much better, and stayed in production for fourteen years. This Oldsmobile Cutlass Cruiser is from towards the end of the run, when the A-body was down to just Oldsmobile and Buick variants, and just four-door sedans and station wagons.
Several different engines were offered in the Cutlass Ciera and Cruiser over the years. This one has a 3.3 liter V6, commonly known as the 3300, which is a smaller-displacement, simplified version of the revered 3800. It drives the front wheels through a four-speed automatic. It’s not an exciting combination, but it should last a long time with proper maintenance. This one has only 45,000 miles on it, all from one elderly owner. The seller’s mechanic says some gaskets and seals need to be replaced, just because of the low mileage, but it does run and drive just fine.
Even in 1993, this interior was outdated. But I think that’s part of the reason the Ciera and Cruiser stayed in production so long. The newer W-body Cutlass Supreme was advertised as “Not Your Father’s Oldsmobile,” but this one definitely was, and that appealed to a certain segment of buyers. Outdated or not, it does look comfy, and it’s in great condition inside. There’s no photo with the tailgate open, so I can’t tell you if this wagon has the third-row “wayback seat” or not. But we can hope.
The dominant characteristic of its exterior is the fake woodgrain trim, which is also a throwback. I’m not particularly a fan of it, but I know some people are. It’s generally in good condition, but there is some faded and thin paint on the front bumper. The rest of the paint looks fine, and there isn’t any rust on it.
1991 Dodge Dynasty – $3,500
Engine/drivetrain: 3.3-liter OHV V6, four-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Rockwall, TX
Odometer reading: 109,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
While GM was learning hard lessons with the X-body and applying them to the A-body, Chrysler was busy putting its business back together with the K-car. It spent the next decade creating endless variations on the same theme, including the longer-wheelbase C (later AC) cars like this Dodge Dynasty. Though it was introduced in 1988, it looks much older; this car was intended for a demographic that wasn’t ready for the future, too.
One aspect of its drivetrain was thoroughly modern for 1991: the A604 Ultradrive transmission. It’s a computer-controlled four-speed overdrive unit that gained a bad reputation early on, but any problems this one might have had have long since been fixed. Its engine is a Chrysler-designed 3.3-liter V6, not the Mitsubishi 3.0-liter engine of earlier cars. It runs and drives well, but that’s about all the seller has to say.
This one looks older inside than it is too, though it wears its vast expanses of fake woodgrain on the inside. It has a bench seat, making this a full six-passenger car. But did anybody ever actually put someone in the middle front seat? This one hardly looks sat in at all; it’s in great shape. And the seller says the air conditioning is nice and cold.
It’s really clean outside, but there is a little weirdness I feel compelled to mention. The passenger’s side has the original wheel covers, but the driver’s side has terrible aftermarket covers that I think are supposed to look like ’70s mags, but don’t. The muffler is also hanging at a funny angle, making me think there’s a hanger missing from the back. That’s an easy fix, but it should be taken care of before the muffler decides to part ways with the rest of the car.
If you’re looking for excitement, look elsewhere. But if you want comfort, durability, low maintenance, and cheap insurance, these are your rides. And if you’re anything like me, you appreciate a nice red velour interior. Which one would you take home?
I read the headline as “Dodge Dysentery”, a no-so-subconscious mental note about how I feel about that car.
My drivers ed cars were a fleet of Olds Cieras, so I have very fond memories of those.
My grandma had a new ’91 Dynasty and it was a nice car. The 3.3L would melt down the Invicta whitewalls if you gave it a full boot.
However, the Olds is a wagon, which automatically makes it cool. The 3300 lives up to the hype of it’s bigger 3800 brother and is nearly indestructible. A friend had one in a Skylark and put over 330,000 miles on it before reverse gear quit and it became too much of a pain to find parking spots that didn’t require backing up. With only 45k on this one, it’ll probably outlive me. Wagon FTW.
My grandma ALSO had a white Dodge Dynasty that looked almost exactly like this car, except I think she bought it used. But yeah, still going with the Olds wagon.
Lucille isn’t going anywhere in the Dodge. Take the Olds.
I had a similar Dodge as a rental back in the day. I never drove a car where the tires complained more in the twisties than that one. It was comically annoying. So, GM for me. Not a lot better, but better.
Cutlass! Olds Cutlass Cruiser vs. a…Dodge Dynasty?! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…a Dodge…Dynasty? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…thanks for the laugh. My brother and I have been making fun of that car for a long time. Wow, that Olds has such low miles- yup, would go through all the seals/gaskets/rubber bits. It’s a woody wagon! It will “run badly longer than other cars will run at all.” I’ll have fun cruising around in it
Easiest. Decision. Ever.
I had a Ciera of that era as a company car. It handled the snow and potholes of a couple of Cleveland winters just fine while my car sat in the garage away from it all. I think it had that same red interior.
I’m generally not a Mopar guy. The K-car Aries I had was ok and innocuous, but the styling on this laughably named Dynasty just hurts to look at. And its red is pretty intense!
Must’ve had da TruCoat
I don’t know. It was only a couple of years old when it was assigned to me. We also had a somewhat older (rusty) AWD Aerostar that was a beast in the snow and rode surprising well. But I would not have wanted to take it on a windy road at a brisk pace.
neither really, but I do kind of like a woody wagon. though if I was going Olds, and trust me they are fine, I probably would hold out for a Custom Cruiser of the same vintage. https://www.cars.com/vehicledetail/78f844af-b2d8-464c-a6a5-017288a0c1fb/
Holy shit . . . the Dynasty is giving me PTSD from my days with a teal company car. It had many names. The tag on the rear read, “Dodge Dynasty,” but it was shortened to The ‘Nasty. It was also called Two Face because someone driving without insurance barreled out of a Burger King parking lot and crushed the passenger-side front quarter panel and dented the door. Since the car was near retirement the fleet manager didn’t want to spend money to fix the damage so when approaching from the driver’s side, it looked like a normal car. Looking at it from the passenger side profile, it looked like it had just come from a demolition derby. It was all fun and games until the president of the division came to work with me one day and I had to pry the passenger door open every time he entered and exited the car. Is was only because of this ridiculous situation that my new car was expedited because the president make a phone call.
This is all a longwinded way of saying The Olds . . . easily.
I have an irrational love for the Dynasty and similar Acclaim/Spirit cousins. But that Olds would make a very very nice weekend project hauler. They have a flat floor that’s probably long enough that I could camp in it. A-body for me!
Wagon > sedan
Who among us would not enjoy getting a Woodie?
A genuine Woodie, yes, of course, but a vinyl Woodie?
(shudders)
Perhaps a pull-string cowboy doll instead.
My wife had a 1990 Dynasty when we were first married. It was endless trouble even then. I can’t imagine what a couple more decades can do. I’m voting for anything else!
Dynasty? More like “Die Nasty”. Olds, please.
The woody wagon and I don’t even know why it’s a question. Sure the fake woodgrain is pure kitsch, but it’s also come back around to being ironically kinda cool. And a wagon is still the apex body style.
Wagon all day. Better engine and I can give my kids some of that nostalgia from when I was a kid.
Good luck finding parts for that Dodge.
My wife had almost this exact Dynasty as her first car, same exterior/interior colors too.
Out of respect for her, I cannot vote for it, so I’m going Buick.
Ours was gold, but otherwise similar story.
Hard to go wrong with A body and a Buick V6. Classic grocery getter. K-Cars were pretty crappy, so no contest really.
I can smell both of them and it makes me want to sneeze. Reluctantly olds. Tin box of a thing but it will probably run until the transmission gives up. If someone spung for wood and power locks it probably has the hatch seat.
I was past the age of station wagons when the Ciera was first introduced, but I do have a certain nostalgia for them. They were prolific in their day, and this one leans hard into the overall aesthetic. I think you could touch up that front bumper, roll it into a car show (a regular one, not even Radwood) and it would draw a crowd. For those who might have grown up in the 80’s and had parents that didn’t swing into one of those newfangled minivans, the back seat of this (and its GM stablemates) is where they grew up.
Dang. That Old’s wagon looks good. That would be perfect for just cruising in.
Grampa’s wagon, obviously, but the interior of the Dodge is an amazing colour. Can’t say I wasn’t tempted.
I can’t believe how triggered I am by that square speedometer.
I am noping right away from that Dodge!
Of the 90’s GM products, the big wagons always have drawn positive attention from me. Give me this instead of yesterday’s pickup truck, and it will handle my home store and landscaping runs just fine!
Wagon almost always beats sedan and it does again today. The price is on the high side but the condition is good and wagons are basically extinct today so if you want one you should expect to pay more than a sedan. On the plus side you get a more capable vehicle.
Leaking seals could be an issue, or not. Really depends on the volume of the leak. Pretty much any car this old is going to have some weeping gaskets.
I’ll always choose the car with a joystick control on the stereo for fader and balance.
Dynasty for the win.
That was a great feature! They should do that on a touchscreen today.