Sometimes choosing cars for this column is hard; I’ll have a bunch of tabs open, searching frantically for something else that goes with any one of them. And sometimes, I find two things that go together perfectly, but are outside our normal price range. In those cases, I just save ’em for Friday, when we relax the price rules a little bit. And such is the case with today’s malaise-era Chevrolets.
Yesterday we looked at two cheapies from the ’80s, one that was about as exciting as plain Cheerios, and one that was about as structurally sound as the box they come in. You were all good sports about them, though, and the one thing I love about cars like those is that everyone has a story about them. I do too; I’ve owned a number of J- and K-based cars over the years, and I know their strengths and weaknesses well.
By an overwhelming margin, you all chose the soft-top Pontiac Sunbird over the grandma-spec Plymouth Reliant, and I think that’s the right choice. It’s definitely the better car to drive. Sure, it’ll shake like a leaf over rough roads, and just about every piece of trim will be misaligned, but it’s a convertible with a turbocharger, for fifteen hundred bucks. Who cares how poorly it’s built? Just enjoy the ride.
All right. I have here a couple old Chevies I think you might enjoy. They’re not cheap, but they’re just about the cleanest examples of their breeds I’ve seen in a long time.
1976 Chevrolet Camaro LT – $7,950
Engine/drivetrain: 305 cubic inch OHV V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Vancouver, WA
Odometer reading: 143,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives, but has been sitting
This car’s chief competitor, the Ford Mustang II, has become a poster child for the worst of the malaise era: slow, gawky, badly built, and just generally sad. The Chevy Camaro generally avoids such criticisms, despite being every bit as malaise-y as the Mustang II, and I think most of it has to do with the fact that the Camaro looks like this. Even 5 MPH bumpers couldn’t do much to ruin the looks of the second-generation Camaro; it’s still a handsome car to this day. No wonder Camaros sold like hotcakes during the Mustang II years.
It has to be said, though, that by 1976 the second-generation Camaro didn’t have the moves to back up its good looks. The small-bore 305 cubic inch V8 was introduced for 1976, producing a measly 140 horsepower, a far cry from the thunderous V8s of a few years earlier, even accounting for the change from gross to net ratings. But it made the right noises, and that counts for a lot. This one has been sitting for many years; it starts and runs just fine, but the seller says (rightly) that it should be gone over carefully before hitting the open road. It probably needs new tires, too.
I had a few friends who had Camaros of this vintage in high school and college, and just seeing this interior photo brings back a lot of memories. I can practically hear Billy Idol blasting out of its Kraco stereo, and smell a combination of Burger King onion rings and Marlboro Reds. But I think even back then, none of the interiors of those cars were this nice. This thing is a time capsule. I have no doubt that the window glass still rattles back and forth, and that the tilt steering column has a little play in it, but that’s all just part of the Camaro charm.
One of my favorite things about the LT and later Berlinetta Camaros is the lack of a rear spoiler. The car looks better without it, and those damn three-piece spoilers were always misaligned on one side or the other. This just looks so much less cluttered. It does look like there’s a little bit of rust forming around the base of the rear window, but it’s still cleaner – and closer to stock – than any ’70s Camaro I’ve seen in years.
1977 Chevrolet Suburban C20 Custom Deluxe – $7,450
Engine/drivetrain: 454 cubic inch OHV V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Morgan Hill, CA
Odometer reading: 77,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives “amazing”
There is no car quite like the Chevy Suburban. Many have tried over the years to emulate it, but none have quite gotten the formula right. It’s just a big, friendly, comfortable way to move a lot of people and/or stuff, and it has been for – believe it or not – ninety years now. It feels like the “squarebody” Suburban, introduced in 1973, is when this beast of burden really hit its stride, though, and became part of the landscape of, well, suburbia. This 2WD, three-quarter-ton Suburban looks like it might have once been a fleet vehicle, but it looks just like the ones I saw in my neighborhood growing up.
Believe it or not, you could get a Suburban with an engine as small as a 250 cubic inch inline six, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen one. Most of them had small-block V8s of various sizes, but this one goes right to the top of the engine range with a 454 cubic inch big-block. It probably gets nine miles to the gallon going downhill with a tailwind, but if you need something this burly, there simply is no substitute. It has had a lot of recent work done, and the seller says it runs and drives great.
The Rounded-Line trucks (as the squarebodies are officially named) were a step up in comfort over the earlier Action-Line, and that’s part of what made the Suburban an attractive family vehicle. That, and seating for as many as nine people. This one has bucket seats in the front, so subtract one from that, and I can’t tell if it has the third row of seats or not. It’s in good condition, and the presence of an aftermarket tach and a towing brake controller means that somebody put it to work.
You could get Suburbans with two different rear door styles: either barn doors with a split down the middle, or a pickup-style tailgate with a roll-down rear window, which is what this one has. It also, for some reason, has a bunch of grab handles attached to the outside. I really wonder what this truck might have been used for originally, and if anyone has any ideas, please share them in the comments. It looks great outside, if you ignore a few dents and scrapes, which, when you’re looking at a nearly fifty-year-old truck, you should.
Nobody is denying that the malaise era was a terrible time for cars, but I think GM weathered it with more grace than the other two members of the Big Three, and these two vehicles show that. They’re among the best of a bad generation, and it’s really cool to see such well-preserved examples. In fact, I think this would make an amazing, if thirsty, two-car garage, so I’m going to give you a “both” option today.
Thank you for the “both” button. I have both towing and mullet needs.
You know what, I’d absolutely love that suburban. It would be perfect as a shop/towing rig for when I get my workshop built and start needing to tow projects around. It would suck for anything long-distance, sure… but it’d be great for local hauls. Unfortunately, being on the left coast, I don’t want to have to pay the amount of gas it would take to drive it over to the right coast. (Though it *would* be a terrific vehicle to camp in during a cross-country trip…. hmm….. )
I seriously think it might actually be cheaper to have that thing shipped than to drive it with gas and hotel prices as they are (though if you are desperate, plenty of space to sleep in one at least). I got a big-block 3/4 ton Suburban as a rental in Louisiana 15+ years ago, so MUCH more modern than this one, and even with my relatively light foot it didn’t get 10mpg. This thing is going to be BAD at highway speed with the 3spd auto.
Amusingly, Hertz in Monroe, LA had a bunch of them all setup for towing – they rent them mostly to oil companies, but that day it was all they had left, so it was that or something dire like a Sentra. Not my gas money, big block it was. The thing sounded like a NASCAR race when you got on it.
DUDE! You hit me right in the sweet spot! These are my jam!
The big bumper Camaros are actually my favorite second gens, because I’m a weirdo. And Squarebody Suburbans are my favorite of all time. I love them even more when they’ve the older ones with those hubcaps. They just hit right! This one even has those plaid buckets, come to Shop-Teacher! The only way that Suburban could be any better, was if it had barn doors, but I can forgive that. If I had 7,500 hundo to spare, I’d be on the way right damn now!
Oh, in case it wasn’t obvious, I voted for both. I’d buy them both, if I could.
Unlike most of the other contests for the week, which were “neither” for me, today is a “both”. My ’87 Suburban is one of the few vehicles (of the many I’ve owned) that I regret selling. I don’t love the ’76 Camaro front end as much as I do the earlier second gens, but I do like the overall shape of the cars, and this one is in nice shape.
The Burb. But what was this thing hauling anyway? The kitties are like 3 feet out there. What is that thing in the tailgate? And the grommets/handle things on the sides? My only concern is all the holes they drilled into the body for all that shit
Absolutely despise auto correct. Kitties from mirrors? WTAF
A Camaro without the T-tops or a Suburban without the barn doors 🙁
The 78+ 2nd gen is much cooler because that’s when T-tops became available. Also, it got amber rear turn signals then too.
I actually like the square body less than the generations that came before and after it, and the GMT400 SUV’s didn’t come out until 92, while the pickups came out in 88. The pre-square only lasted from 67-72, which was too short. They should’ve extended that gen a few more years, and released the GMT400 a bit earlier and the SUV at the same time as the pickups.
The Suburban has more space inside, but the Camaro’s interior is red, which is cool too.
Tuff choice, though I think both are overpriced.
That Camaro is close enough to the contemporary Pontiac Firebird Esprit that one could enjoy driving it by channeling James Garner (who did most of his own stunt driving as Jim Rockford) and pulling reverse J-turns which, incidentally, is considered the only way to tip over a Citroën 2CV (Jason, don’t get any ideas…)
Voted for the Suburban because if I can afford to stop at every corner gas station to fill it up I can afford to collect cars where I’ll be needing a vehicle to tow a car trailer. (However, if I can afford a tow vehicle I’d rather get myself either a Citroën Tissier conversion or a Citroën Belphégor.)
I believe those are there to provide easier access to the roof rack, which appears to be homemade. Someone loved this truck, I think.
Suburban, please!
Definitely a “both” day for me. Thank you for including that option.
If I had to pick one, it would be the Suburban. Square body Suburbans are some of the coolest trucks ever made. This thing also seems like an incredible deal. It isn’t perfect, but based on the photos and description, it appears seller focused on getting this truck to run great as opposed to look great. I love mechanically perfect 20 footers. Also, that seat upholstery is awesome – modern cars need more plaid. I genuinely want to buy this thing. Why does it have to be 2,797 miles away??? I’m starting to see why people want to live in California despite the wildfires, droughts, earthquakes, and taxes.
The Camaro is also very cool. I really like the styling of this generation Camaro. This this looks to be in great condition, especially the interior. Sure, it might be a stretch to call this a “muscle car”, but who cares? I’m not a huge Camaro fan, but this thing is nice enough I would have felt bad not voting for it.
I got one of those ice cube trays that makes the big blocks of ice. I call them 454’s. The old tow truck I used to drive had a 454(threw a rod through the block at around 450,000km on my dad) and I loved that thing. The noise it made when you put your foot down and watched the gas gauge drop was incredible. Towed like a champ.
So ya, you show me a 454, I’m going for the 454.
Fun fact. You can swap noses on this camaro to the split bumber, urethane bumber or full length, non pick nick table bumber overnight. An upper and lower valence, grill insert, bumper and headlight dishes are all readily available and all bolt right up. If you want the later urethane bumper though, you need to swap fenders as well.
A Sb350 is a direct drop in replacement and the rear bumper can have spacers removed to pull it back into the body by nearly 6 inches.
The worst part of the lt trim was their 2.56 final gear ratio. But again, it’s a gm 10 bolt rear axle. Lots of carrier and ring & pinion swaps available.
Camaro gets my vote.
When I think of Camaro, I do NOT think of Billy Idol and when I think of Billy Idol, I don’t think of Camaro. I think some musical wires got crossed here.
Oh, I voted Suburban. Just because I could never be a Camaro guy.
When I see a Camaro of this vintage, I think of Iron Maiden and Judas Priest.
Exactly. Way more hair metal and way less punk. Or faux-punk anyway.
I’m pretty sure that the first time I ever heard Metallica- Kill ‘Em All on a crappy, seventh-generation cassette tape- was in a second-gen Camaro.
Van Halen.
This car was the kind of EOL shitbox a high school kid would be driving in the same era high school kids were listening to Billy Idol.
The bands should have mullets like the driver. I’m thinking Deep Purple “Machine Head” or Van Halen I. Though by the time these were second hand, in high school it would definately be Priest and Maiden and AC/DC.
Voted Camaro, no desire for the suburban though I guess I see the appeal, I thought Camaro would be polling better but I guess I’m just the right age to appreciate it more.
Also, my dad’s a television repairman, he’s got the ultimate set of tools. I can fix it
This Camaro is handsome? It’s time to update your prescription. It has easily the ugliest front end of any Camaro until that honor was usurped by the “facelifted” ’98 Gen 4, which is truly vomitous.
The 1st gen’s curves and adventure are gone, replaced by a barge.
The Firebirds of this gen were mostly better looking (and yes, the spoiler is part of the reason).
Underpowered engine, 3 speed auto… seems like a real blast, LOL.
My vote is for the Suburban, but it’s still not worth that price. No mention of the body damage? How are either of these cars qualifying as “super-clean?” They’re both worn.
I may be in the minority around here, but I’ve never liked this generation of Camaro. That front end is atrocious. I know this applies to most American cars of the era but I can hear every rattle and squeak in the Camaro just by looking at the pictures. At least the Suburban is a truck so you can say that’s expected.
The rear doesn’t look too bad, but the front screams “nerd wearing orthodontic headgear”
I had that in early high school, but I never wore it. Instead, before an appointment, I’d instal it, and push back on it with my hands. It was uncomfortable, but a lot better than wearing the nasty thing. Orthodontist was always amazed at my progress—”You must really be wearing your head gear all the time!” A few years later, my wisdom teeth came in and crowded my lower teeth, so braces were largely for nought. Though, if you get in a fight and take a hit to the mouth, the braces cut your gums up pretty well, but it’s possible they help hold the teeth in.
I can’t get on board with this generation of Camaro either, but for me the 6th gen facelift stands atop the “what were they thinking” cake.
The catfish Camaro (facelift 4th gen) is just meh . . . but the Firebird looked better for all of 4th gen anyway.
I like the 4th gen shark nose (93-97).
I only voted Suburban, because in my own little world, someone else is paying for the gas here.
With that said, it would be fun to soup it up a bit and do some weight reduction and then take it to the drag strip. A 454 is just begging to have some extra go fast bits added to it.
The Camaro is just an ugly, slow vestige of a muscle car. No thanks. At least the ‘Burb is useful and may have a nicely-built mill in it.
‘Burb for me. If I’m getting a 2nd gen Camaro, gimme a rubber nose or a split nose. Those big ol’ chrome bumpers are just BLEAH.
Sadly, not one “Bitchin’ Camaro reference before this one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeY2nut3Gj8&list=RDZeY2nut3Gj8&start_radio=1
That’s because this one… isn’t.
Nah, just needs some cherry bombs and slapper bars, and this would be 100% bitchin.
…and a new engine, and a better transmission. And the spoiler. Without the spoiler, this is NOT bitchin’. It’s not gonna go with my mullet and poofy pants.
Both are in pretty great shape for the cash — however that camaro is the ugliest year in the ugliest spec. Even the 3rd gen berlinettas look better than this one. As someone who doesn’t have nostalgia for the 70s and 80s when the Camaro was considered a cool car, I gotta go Suburban. It does what it needs to do: haul a bunch of people or things. It’s clean enough and a fresh engine means a lot of life left.
I’m not really a truck guy, but that Suburban is very cool and I can’t argue with the price. Even if you only keep it for a year or two before the single digit fuel economy makes you want to move on you should easily be able to get back what you put into it.
I’ve always liked the styling of the 3rd gen F bodies more than the 2nd gen, but that’s still a great looking car. If these vehicles were rougher around the edges and cheaper I would have said both.
2wd is probably the reason the suburban has survived. if it was 4wd it would have been dead by now.
I am bored of squarebodies. I admit, I do like them and they are really tough, but I think they just look boring now.
Camaro with some TLC for me.
I don’t…like square bodies, but I think that’s because everyone around here lifts them and then drives them like a complete menace. This one is at least is at stock ride height, has a clean, upgraded motor, and actually looks like a useful vehicle. Also it has the better looking grille. Makes it look less tall and flat in the front than the quad rectangles. The fact it’s a Suburban and not a pickup or Blazer helps too.
Which is why I’m picking it over the Camaro, as I actually do not like the way the G2 looks at all, and would rather a 4th gen. Then again, I am a Millenial.
I actually hate them both. That Camaro looks (and probably drives) like it’s been neutered. Never liked the Suburban, it should be painted school bus yellow for what it is. But, seeing as there is no “neither” option, I’ll spend my fake money on the ‘burb just because it probably can get out of it’s own way..
Suburban because I had a love/hate relationship with a 2nd Gen Z-28 back in the day. I loved the power and handling but hated the overall cheapness and corner cutting only GM could achieve.
That Camero just doesn’t do it for me. Suburban has what looks like a freshly built engine and way more practical use conditions. Also, one of my favorite hub cap designs so easy win.