A Helpful Guide To Attending Every Major Racing Series For The First Time From An Expert

I got to watch various friends and colleagues report back from the big Formula One race at Circuit of the Americas this weekend, and it was a first time for a few of them, which means I get to hear all about how different it is to be in the garages/paddock there compared to other racing series. F1 puts on a great show, but it can be a little overwhelming if you’re used to, say, IndyCar, or really any other form of racing.

For a few years I produced videos for various racing teams, as well as a show for NBC Sports called Off The Grid, that featured a mix of on- and off-track segments across a bunch of different types of motorsports. During this period in my life I was able to attend almost every major racing series, and many of the biggest races in North America and Europe.

We don’t do enough service-y, helpful, evergreen posts around here, and I’d like to fix that by providing a little guide to what you might experience when attending a rally, open-wheel, closed-wheel, motorcycle, or really any new motorsport.

Getting Into The Track/Garage

Honestly, the hardest part of any track weekend is getting into the track. While this varies from track-to-track and series-to-series, I’ve found that this can produce the most consternation. Here’s what to expect:

Formula One Security Guard who looks like Jason Statham: Have you scanned your eyeball, your RFID-enabled pass, and given us six different blood samples? Great. Oh, no, you still can’t get in. I’m sorry, you have the Paddock Pass for Saturday, but not Sunday, the Media Pass for all days, but only for the support series, and the general admission ticket, but there’s nowhere to stand to see anything. Oh, I apologize, you’d like to access the Paddock Club. YOU? Hmm… just fork over $2,500 and we can see what we can do. 

The Indy 500: That’s a Paddock Pass, but what you want is the Paddock Plus Pass.

Any other IndyCar race: Oh thank God you’re here, come on in!

NASCAR: Oh, you only brought the phone pass? Sorry, you’ll need to go get your physical ticket. It’s real easy, just walk back 13 miles to find the trailer that’s next to the Grizzly Nicotine Patch First Aid Tent and they’ll be able to help you.

MOTO GP: Do you have a light? You do! Excellent, I haven’t had a cigarette for 14 seconds.

MOTOCROSS/SUPERCROSS: Do you have a light? I just got a bunch of M-80s and I want to see what happens if I toss them at the riders.

ARA/WRC/RALLY of any kind: What sound does a yeti make when he climaxes? Yeah, pretty close, you’re in.

24 HOURS OF LE MANS: Je parle anglais, mais je refuse de parler anglais avec vous.

IMSA: For $100 you can sleep in the race car!

Dress Code

In the immortal words of Prop Joe: Look the part, be the part muthafucka. You want to make sure you’re neither trying too hard, nor caught trying not hard enough.

Formula One: High fashion, expensive, Miu Miu/Louis Vuitton, et cetera OR spend even more money and even more time tracking down the most obscure Minardi F1 jacket that only 1-in-100 fans will even understand.

The Indy 500: Throwback Mario Andretti shirts or literally anything with a checkerboard pattern.

Any other IndyCar race: A shirt that makes you look like five more people for the cameras.

NASCAR: Denim, of any kind, on any part of your body.

MOTO GP: Alpinestars jacket stuffed with cigarettes.

MOTOCROSS/SUPERCROSS: Clothing optional.

ARA/WRC/RALLY of any kind: REI down parka.

24 HOURS OF LE MANS: Dress like you’re a BBC war reporter in 1997, or shorts.

IMSA: You can wear any shirt you like so long as it’s tucked into your pants.

The Food

I’m a foodie. It’s true. One of my favorite parts of going to any track event is trying the food.

Formula One: Lobster, filet mignon, lobster-stuffed filet-mignon, and fillet-mignon-stuffed lobster in the Paddock Club. Sausage in some sort of bread (or tortilla) for everyone else.

The Indy 500: How many ways can you serve pork? One way for each lap of the race. Cheese and pork wheels? Sure. Pretzels stuffed with brats? Absolutely!

Any other IndyCar race: Hot dog.

NASCAR: Keystone Light.

MOTO GP: Cigarette.

MOTOCROSS/SUPERCROSS: Anything can go on nachos if you try hard enough.

ARA/WRC/RALLY of any kind: An entire goat roasted on a spit heated by a blow torch.

24 HOURS OF LE MANS: Eclairs, crepes, Aperol spritz. It’s a cliché, but the only options are the best and richest food you’ve ever had in your life or the worst thing ever to be called a taco.

IMSA: 50 hot dogs.

Visiting the Mechanics

One of the perks of going to a race is that, depending on the series, you can get pretty close to the actual cars.

Formula One: Mechanics are fine if you keep your distance, but any closer and they’ll treat you like Sean Penn in the ’80s treated anyone with a camera around Madonna.

The Indy 500: You can get pretty close because all the cars are the same, with the exception of the Penske cars, which are “the same.”

Any other IndyCar race: You can get pretty close because all the cars are the same, with the exception of the Penske cars, which are “the same.”

NASCAR: The cars are essentially indestructible, except for the exact part you’re leaning against, which will cause the entire car to explode.

MOTO GP: All the mechanics are on a smoking break, so do what you want.

MOTOCROSS/SUPERCROSS: The Belgian (?) guy working on the bike is being super precise and won’t be mad unless you do anything to break his concentration. Also, maybe he’s Austrian.

ARA/WRC/RALLY of any kind: Hey, buddy, do you mind helping me with this brake job? It’ll be quick, I promise.

24 HOURS OF LE MANS: Mechanics are working on 25 minutes of sleep over the last six days. They appear to be sleeping but ready to snap into attention at a moment’s notice and will wreck your shit if you are in their way. Do you work for the ACO? You look like you work for the ACO? WHAT DID YOU TELL THEM?

IMSA: Hi, my name is Bozi! I will tell you anything you want to know about this car.

Getting Around

This is a little more track-specific than it is race-specific.

Formula One: As compact as Monaco, as long as Spa, or as French Canadian as Montreal.

The Indy 500: I hope you like where you’re sitting, because you’re not going anywhere else without a helicopter until 10 hours after the race.

Any other IndyCar race: You thought you were coming to a race, when in fact you were coming to a marathon with an adjacent race.

NASCAR: You can go anywhere you want, but remember that it’s probably a giant oval, so always know which direction you came from or plan to hit a new personal step record.

MOTO GP: Every corner is obscured by cigarette smoke, so no need to go anywhere.

MOTOCROSS/SUPERCROSS: You can walk across the track if you’re wearing a vest, or shoes, honestly.

ARA/WRC/RALLY of any kind: Hike 19 hours, get to corner, hike 19 hours back to tent. Or, just bring tent with you. Congrats, you’re now the mayor of unincorporated Gaylord, Michigan.

24 HOURS OF LE MANS: Roads and tracks will be closed at random by French volunteers who get off on telling you non, but just wait 15 minutes and they’ll either go on break or go on strike.

Celebrity You Are Most Likely To Meet

Famous people! They’re just like us (they aren’t, they have way better access).

Formula One: Will.I.Am.

The Indy 500: Mark Reuss.

Any other IndyCar race: Felix Rosenqvist’s mom.

NASCAR: The lead singer of Florida-Georgia line.

MOTO GP: Keanu Reeves.

MOTOCROSS/SUPERCROSS: An OF model named Jiffy Corn Muffin Bitch.

ARA/WRC/RALLY of any kind: You’re not going to meet anyone.

24 HOURS OF LE MANS: Marion Cotillard.

I hope all of this was helpful. The key to any great race is the key to life itself: Bring water, an extra charger, sunscreen, and a willingness to bribe someone with cigarettes.

Top photos: Author