Home » An 89 Year-Old Driver Crashed Into Me And Didn’t Even Realize It. Somehow My Insurance Company Is Blaming Me

An 89 Year-Old Driver Crashed Into Me And Didn’t Even Realize It. Somehow My Insurance Company Is Blaming Me

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A couple of weeks ago, I was driving home from the gym with my partner, Dottie (aka “Elise not her real name“) when we both felt a loud THUD. “Did I just get hit?” Dottie asked as she stopped for a red light. “Yes, definitely,” I replied before jumping out of the car and walking back towards a black BMW i4. I arrived at the driver’s window. “Please pull over, you hit us,” I stated. His reply: “What? I didn’t hit you.” I answered that indeed he had, and he should pull over. This man, so disoriented and confused he should almost consider running for president, pulled his car over and handed us his information. Fast forward a week, and what I thought should have been an open-shut case for State Farm resulted in the insurance company finding Dottie “at fault.” It is an absurd decision, and one that highlights the importance of dash cams and police reports.

Sometimes I need to just go with my gut instinct. This was one of those times. Upon reaching the sidestreet where we exchanged information with the BMW i4 driver who was born in 1935 (yes, you read that right), the man claimed we’d cut him off somehow. In reality, what had happened is that two lanes had become three, and he’d gotten confused about the lane markings and which lane he should remain in. So his right front hit our left rear.

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Here’s the damage:

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My first instinct was to call the police and get a police report, but Dottie produced a State Farm insurance card that gave instructions on what to do when in a fender bender, and I did not see “call police” anywhere on there. Maybe I missed it somehow, because I recall at the time that seemed odd to me, but in my head I thought: “Hmm, if the insurance company doesn’t mention that in the instructions, then maybe we shouldn’t reach out to the police in a fender bender.” In any case, we took photos of the incident, got the man’s insurance info, and moved along.

This was a mistake.

Fast forward a week, and we’ve submitted what in our heads should be the easiest insurance claim in history. We got rear-ended by an 89-year-old who had no clue what he was doing. But a few days later, we were contacted by State Farm, who told us they’d found Dottie at fault.

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The Tesla above also seemed confused as well, but it pulled ahead and signaled to the right.

Obviously, this is ridiculous to us. The man in the i4 had literally told me he didn’t realize he’d gotten into a crash. (In his defense: Public transportation in LA is awful, so he kinda has little choice but to drive). Then he apparently told his insurance company, which also happens to be State Farm, that we’d cut him off. Do I think he intentionally lied? Maybe not; the man didn’t seem to really know what was going on, so maybe that’s what he truly thought. State Farm told us that, since both parties are State Farm clients, and they see this as a he-said-she-said situation, each person is at fault.

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Here’s the intersection. See how he should have remained in the left lane, but he hit us in the center lane.

So what’s the takeaway here? First, always get a police report when in any fender-bender. I knew this, got thrown off guard by a dumb little “what to do when you’re in a crash” card, and blew it. Second, having a dash cam on your car is critical, because who knows if that police report would have changed anything. It’s possible State Farm would have seen it as a “he said she said” situation anyway, and at that point you have no recourse.

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Without a dash cam, you’re just not protected. Someone can literally crash right into you and, in the absence of witnesses or police reports that can corroborate your claim, video footage, or any obvious signs that show exactly what happened, you will be at fault.

Dottie and I are still fighting this, mostly out of principle, since the 89-year-old seemed to me to be clearly cognitively impaired. For him to hit us and us be at fault is just wild. We’re working with local police to find footage of the incident, which occurred literally right out front of a police department.

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It’s a reminder that any sense of security you feel about an Insurance company’s ability to dispense justice may be misplaced. When it comes to fender benders, they’re not expert investigators. They’ll take the photos you took they’ll listen to your statements, and then they’ll just guess based on that. They’re not necessarily going to look for video footage or witnesses or any of that. You have to protect yourself from liability. It’s an obvious lesson for many, but a worthy reminder.

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Trenton Abernathy
Trenton Abernathy
20 days ago

DT, that sucks.

I’m also surprised. I would think they would see the damage and assess that the person behind is at fault, since drivers are supposed to follow at a safe enough distance to be able to react to any situation. Hopefully you can get them to reverse that decision.

But on the note of car insurance, I have to say that I have had good experiences with USAA (never been a member of State Farm). A few years ago my now wife got into an accident with me in the car. It was an intersection in Texas where the left arrows turn flashing yellow but never green. The other driver was coming the opposite direction and tried to cross through our lane, but stopped in the middle of the road when she saw us coming. We couldn’t stop in time and hit her. There was no major damage, but she told her insurance company and the police that we ran a red light and she had a “green arrow”. Initially I paid the deductible, but a few months later we discovered that USAA had sent an investigator to that intersection and determined that it was impossible for her to have had a green arrow. We ended up getting our deductible back. One of the few times where insurance has really come through.

I also just don’t understand the people who lie in these situations. Just own up to the mistake and pay the deductible. It’s better for all parties involved.

Black Peter
Black Peter
21 days ago

In the two bad, (but the cars could move off the road) accidents I’ve had the offending party insisted on calling the police; in both cases they got citations.

Boxing Pistons
Boxing Pistons
21 days ago

Sorry to hear that. We recently had a similar experience, although more severe. My wife was making a left (had the arrow) and got hit by someone going straight who ran the red light. She pulled over and called the police. The lady initially apologized, but then changed her story once her husband and the police showed up. It ended up being $8500 ($500 deductible) in damage, and our insurance company found my wife not at fault, but now it’s going to a third party to decide. It may have been quickly sorted out with a dash cam. It sucks because now the car is worth less and her record could be impacted. I am installing a dash cam this week!

Jason Smith
Jason Smith
21 days ago
Reply to  Boxing Pistons

Basically the same thing happened to my wife a few years ago. The other driver was even cited for running the red light and they still tried to fight. Fortunately we had three third party witnesses that all definitively blamed the other woman.
Now all of our cars have dash cams because I’m not counting on getting that lucky twice…

Balloondoggle
Balloondoggle
21 days ago

All our cars have dash cams because of an insurance company ignoring a police report and making me cover my own deductible. It later helped avoid arguments when I was head-on struck by a driver cutting to the inside of her left turn.

PlatinumZJ
PlatinumZJ
21 days ago

Fuck State Farm. When my front door was nearly kicked in by a bored teenager, they didn’t even send an agent out to view the broken frame, and instead sent me a detailed list showing me how I could get it repaired for less than my deductible. >:E Did I mention that the impact nearly tore one of the hinges out? There was no repairing this thing.

I think there’s also a special place somewhere toasty for Geico, whose people called me at least half a dozen times to verify that yes, their client really did plow into the back of my Jeep while I was stopped at a stop sign. (Nationwide, on the other hand, couldn’t have been better; they even provided a very nice loaner while my Jeep was in the shop.)

Manwich Sandwich
Manwich Sandwich
21 days ago

I thought should have been an open-shut case for State Farm “

State Farm… ugh… Based on my own past experience with them, they suck.

Peter W
Peter W
21 days ago

I did the whole “exchange information” thing once. Never again. People will fabricate whatever story they need to in order to get out of “fault”. Always a police report. Even if the police tell you to just exchange information because they are busy. Also dashcam

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
21 days ago

“Inconceivable!”
Yeah, I would definitely fight this

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
21 days ago

Many years ago I was standing in a parking lot talking with a friend when I was backed into.
We both saw it coming so we were able to get out of the way. The driver was an older person whom obviously had several fries short of a happy meal. We flagged her down and showed her the damage.

Did I do that? Yes.

She gave me her insurance info and drove away, nearly getting slammed into by the bus she pulled out in front of. The bus had to lock its brakes to avoid the collision. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a city bus blow a horn in anger like that. My friend and I just stood there amazed someone so dangerous was still alive.

When I called her insurance company the agent was neutral until I gave her the policy number. Her tone went from “we’ll just look into this” to “oh….fuuuuccckkkk”. She responded “Oh yeah, we KNOW this one.”

After that my claim was smooth sailing.

Drew
Drew
21 days ago

I worked with a guy who had a “nice little old lady” back into him. They exchanged information and she was apologetic. Then she told her insurance company that he rear-ended her.

While I’m a big proponent of leaving police out of things whenever possible, you just can’t trust that people will be honest when left to their own devices.

JumboG
JumboG
21 days ago
Reply to  Drew

The problem is the police weren’t there. So she could tell them the exact same lie. Also, in some states, statements given to the police at the scene of the accident aren’t admissible in courts (here’s looking at you, Florida.)

Drew
Drew
21 days ago
Reply to  JumboG

Those are valid points, but I do think that it’s a little easier to lie to a faceless insurance company than a cop in front of you (and it’s easier to put together a story with some time to think about it, so getting the story sooner is better).

And I’m not typically worried about court (and most courts will throw out the statements given to police at the slightest push; since the cop usually summarizes, it’s hearsay–if they have someone write and sign a statement, it’s usually easier to admit, but that’s atypical in my limited experience). My insurance company can worry about that. I just want to have something that convinces my insurance company.

Dash cam footage is ideal, convincing a nearby business to give you CCTV footage is great, a police report is generally good, and your word isn’t much.

Slant Six
Slant Six
21 days ago

I can’t even start on the issues we have faced after someone hit (low speed) my daughter (who is over 21 and does not live with us) and then has been trying to sue us after our insurance company told him to go pound sand – it was his fault (and it was). No injuries, no airbags, no headlight damage… but somehow this jerk figures “what the hell?”. Luckily, it’s basically impossible to serve my daughter, but that hasn’t stopped them from harassing my wife and I – even though she legally hasn’t lived here for years. I hate calling the cops, but had to after a process server trespassed on my property multiple times in violation of state law. The cops said if the process server came out again and trespassed, they were going to jail. That put an end to that. For now.

tl/dr: Screw jerky lawsuit liars and the scumbag lawyers, process servers, and insurance companies that aid and abet them.

Vic Vinegar
Vic Vinegar
22 days ago

I’ve noticed that guidance like the State Farm “incident card” always seems to assume that both parties are going to be honest people. The person who hit you will go make an honest account of their screw up to the insurance company and everything will work out.

The problem is people lie, and then all bets are off.

Danger Ranger
Danger Ranger
22 days ago

I’ve been with Progressive through an independent agent for years, I had a major crash (not my fault, hit head on by someone driving WAY over the speed and BAC level) and they have always been reasonable. Until we got hit a tornado in May. My renters insurance is with them, it has not been going well…

Angry Bob
Angry Bob
22 days ago
Reply to  Danger Ranger

Possibly the renters insurance isn’t through Progressive. When I was a motorcycle mechanic, I worked with them on claims for crashed bikes and they were awesome. They’d show up the next day and cut a check on the spot, where it could take months to get paid by other companies.

I bought my renters insurance through Geico, who insures my cars, and when the paperwork came, it was from some third party renters insurance company I’ve never heard of.

Danger Ranger
Danger Ranger
21 days ago
Reply to  Angry Bob

This is through Progressive-Homesite. They haven’t been the most helpful… I’m still not back in my condo, just got access to an off-site storage unit (no fault of theirs) and they already closed my claim. I have to re-open the claim for further incurred damages.

JShaawbaru
JShaawbaru
22 days ago

I got lucky with 2/3 of my no-police-report accidents. The first one, a guy backed into me in a left turn lane. I was still in high school and didn’t even get the guy’s insurance information, just his parents’ phone number. Luckily they did actually call, and got my car fixed at no cost (or insurance involvement) to me, and the place did a decent job.
Second time, the lady rear-ended me as a result of hydroplaning/not paying attention, and since we were both trying to get to the same graduation ceremony, we just exchanged insurance information and left it at that so we wouldn’t be late. I wasn’t even going to bother making a claim, since it was a $1000 truck and I only had PLPD, but *she* made a claim, admitted fault, and I got a check for like $800, which I pocketed since the damage to the truck was fixed by putting a strap around a tree and the bumper hitch and slowly driving away.
The third one, some guy backed into my first Miata at a gas station, with the classic “it’s so small I didn’t even see it” claim. It was like 2 or 3 in the morning, and I was on the way back from an emergency drive to Chicago to give my sister her passport before a flight, so I didn’t feel like dealing with it, and the damage didn’t look bad. I didn’t even get his insurance information, just his number, and when I realized the damage was worse than I thought, I never heard from him. That car got obliterated a month or two later by a Tahoe anyway, so in the end it didn’t matter all that much.

Dr Original
Dr Original
22 days ago

Absolutely get a dashcam. Even better if you can get one that records front and rear. And hope you never need it.

Der Foo
Der Foo
21 days ago
Reply to  Dr Original

I went one better and got two different dash cams. Full resolution in both directions and some level of redundancy if one cam decides to quit.

I was rear ended and after two weeks my insurance asked if i had dashcam footage because the other insurance company was acting funny. I said “yes”, but they never followed through with requesting it. Two days later their insurance paid out.

Bassracerx
Bassracerx
22 days ago

yeah always get a police report.

Hondaimpbmw 12
Hondaimpbmw 12
22 days ago
Reply to  Bassracerx

In the 3rd world country of Kommiefornia, the cops won’t come unless there is bodily injury. For a fender bender on surface streets, yer on your own bun.

E Petry
E Petry
22 days ago
Reply to  Hondaimpbmw 12

Sadly that’s a normal thing all over the US now. Unless you’re in a small town the cops won’t come.

Double Wide Harvey Park
Double Wide Harvey Park
22 days ago
Reply to  Hondaimpbmw 12

Can we leave the political crap at the door?

Jeffrey Johnson
Jeffrey Johnson
22 days ago
Reply to  Bassracerx

Not in the city I work in. Unless there’s an injury, or car on it’s roof -they ain’t coming.

JumboG
JumboG
21 days ago

In NC you have to report to the police immediately if there is over $500 in damage (and what accident isn’t). Some cities now have ‘accident investigators’ they send if there isn’t an injury.

Drew
Drew
21 days ago

Around here (Boise, ID), there’s a minimum damage amount ($1500) for a cop to document the accident, but you can report it and go to the station and fill out a form that gets you something on the record. It’s not great, but it’s better than nothing.

When I was rear-ended, a cop showed up and told me that the damage was too minor to justify the report. She was wrong (and/or just lazy). The car was really new and there were sensors in the bumper. Luckily, the driver who hit me was honest with the insurance (and thought it would get pinned on the driver who made an unprotected left that caused the whole thing), so I didn’t need the report.

Totally not a robot
Totally not a robot
22 days ago

My dashcam got the scumbag arrested and his car impounded after he parked his getaway car right in front of mine to smash and grab my stuff. He also stole an air tag, so we recovered all the bags after he dumped them minus the work computers (which LOL IDGAF). I don’t think he was ever charged, but a night in the slammer and an impounded car is fair recompense for the inconveniences that he caused me.

E Petry
E Petry
22 days ago

Car was probably stolen too

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