Cold Start: Is This Picture Evidence In Some Cold Case?

Cs Vauxhall

This lovely photo of a barefoot woman in a yellow pantsuit standing in the dirt holding a rifle while standing over what looks like a big hole in the barren ground was intended to make you want to buy the car in the background there, a 1966 Vauxhall Viva. Is it working? Do you want to buy a new Viva? Or, perhaps as likely, are you realizing that this photograph will solve a murder you’ve been trying to crack for the past 50+ years?

What’s at the bottom of that pit? Or, if we may be so bold, who?

Why is she out there with a rifle? Is she hunting? But what would she be hunting that needs a rifle out there in what looks like a patch of land just cleared for some kind of major construction? There’s a lot of tire tracks there and almost no vegetation, so I don’t think she’s hunting deer or elk or foxes or, you know, pretty much any big mammal that people hunt.

Lizards, maybe? But with a rifle? And in a yellow pantsuit? And barefoot?

Something isn’t adding up here. She looks pretty proud, too, almost like she’s posing for some other photo, with the photographer off-screen to the left. Is she gloating over some victory? Sending proof to her handlers that she’s, you know, finished the job?

Shit’s going down here, and I want to know what manner of shit it is.

It’s not good, and it’s not selling Vivas, that’s for damn sure.

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36 Responses

  1. At first I thought she was holding a shovel, took me a while to actually click on the article and read (then see) that it was a shotgun.

    Also, as user Maymar said, I think this picture will give Quentin Tarantino an aneurysm if he sees it today. So many of his checkboxes…

  2. Are there black trash bags under a little dirt in that hole?? Did her shoes need to be bagged and buried? Did he dig his own hole? Did her girlfriends husband dig the hole for her husband without realizing why it had to be big enough for two husbands?

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