Cold Start: Is This Picture Evidence In Some Cold Case?

Cs Vauxhall

This lovely photo of a barefoot woman in a yellow pantsuit standing in the dirt holding a rifle while standing over what looks like a big hole in the barren ground was intended to make you want to buy the car in the background there, a 1966 Vauxhall Viva. Is it working? Do you want to buy a new Viva? Or, perhaps as likely, are you realizing that this photograph will solve a murder you’ve been trying to crack for the past 50+ years?

What’s at the bottom of that pit? Or, if we may be so bold, who?

Why is she out there with a rifle? Is she hunting? But what would she be hunting that needs a rifle out there in what looks like a patch of land just cleared for some kind of major construction? There’s a lot of tire tracks there and almost no vegetation, so I don’t think she’s hunting deer or elk or foxes or, you know, pretty much any big mammal that people hunt.

Lizards, maybe? But with a rifle? And in a yellow pantsuit? And barefoot?

Something isn’t adding up here. She looks pretty proud, too, almost like she’s posing for some other photo, with the photographer off-screen to the left. Is she gloating over some victory? Sending proof to her handlers that she’s, you know, finished the job?

Shit’s going down here, and I want to know what manner of shit it is.

It’s not good, and it’s not selling Vivas, that’s for damn sure.

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36 Responses

  1. “…and it’s not selling Vivas, that’s for damn sure.”

    Actually… it always good to have a car that knows how to keep its damn mouth shut. Cars like that are the unsung heroes of “Goodfellas” and “Pulp Fiction”.

  2. I was even extra-confused at first, wondering where in the Netherlands it was so dusty and arid that this would resonate with the intended audience in whatever way it was supposed to.

    But then it hit me I was likely off by about 5k miles. Explains the gun.

  3. Appears to me the young woman (he she them old young) has prearranged a site for when her (his hers theirs thems) electric car commits self-immolation; the firepersons may put the vehicle in the pit and fill the pit with water.
    The possibly illegal projectile launcher may be in case the person that sold the electric car shows up.

    Not an electric car, you say, then never mind

  4. At first I thought she was holding a shovel, took me a while to actually click on the article and read (then see) that it was a shotgun.

    Also, as user Maymar said, I think this picture will give Quentin Tarantino an aneurysm if he sees it today. So many of his checkboxes…

  5. Are there black trash bags under a little dirt in that hole?? Did her shoes need to be bagged and buried? Did he dig his own hole? Did her girlfriends husband dig the hole for her husband without realizing why it had to be big enough for two husbands?

  6. I’m too lazy to google what “breedsporig” means, but I’m choosing to believe this is a movie poster for a horror flick where the sporig breed in your brain and make you do nonsensical things.

  7. Unwise, nay stupid to put your hands over the business end of a shotgun.
    .. Unless the birds that produce the yellow excrement are flying overhead.
    Seems to me she is on a hill above the car; perhaps she has just taken out her frustrations on a particularly uncomfortable pair of shoes?

  8. It’s a shotgun. An expensive shotgun meant for upland bird hunting which in Europe is (was) something done by upper class people with money and leisure time.

    So that’s what the gun is supposed to represent. But the dirt pit, the model’s clothing, and the hands over the muzzle make zero sense in that context.

  9. What stands out to me is that she is holding the gun in a foolish and dangerous way, and that the Vauxhall looks a lot like an Opel Kadett. I guess that makes sense as they are cousins.

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