Home » Cold Start: The Hell Happened To All My Stuff?

Cold Start: The Hell Happened To All My Stuff?

Cs Emptybed
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I really admire artists who can create images that just, somehow, tell a story wordlessly, and I think this painting from a 1956 Ford G350 truck brochure really does that. Something about the position of that man, the way his hand rests on the bedside, the posture, the stare, looking into that vast, empty truck bed, all of that somehow communicates the slow-burn confusion of someone who has no idea what happened to all the shit that was supposed to be in that truck.

It’s not just me, right? You see it too? He looks genuinely confused, even though we can’t see his face, but his body language is that of someone frozen in confusion.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

It’s incredible. Even if it’s not intentional, which, let’s be honest, I doubt it is.

Seriously, though, where did everything go?

 

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UPDATE: I saw some comments from people unaware of the Ford G-series of trucks, even speculating that I – me! – could have, somehow, made a typo and meant F350. I did not. Look:

 

Cs G350

These are Dutch-market Fords, but still. Ford G-series.

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Andy Individual
Andy Individual
2 years ago

It’s amazing how modern this pickup is. The bed looks just like the ones I see at malls and office parks.

Jakob K's Garage
Jakob K's Garage
2 years ago

It’s the two smug looking gyus on the passenger bench of the G700. They played a prank on him and took his stuff! Just look at them..

Also a fun FK(?) logo on those Fords. Never seen that before.
Does it mean Ford Köln? (Where the bigggest continental european plant was)

Dutch
Dutch
2 years ago

Born in 1950, I grew up in a Dutch village around 1960 and I do remember having actually seen these trucks on the road. The FK logo stands for Ford Köln, meaning they were made in the Ford factory in Cologne, Germany. For a Wikipedia article about them, take a look at: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_FK — that page has an actual photo of this type of truck, and it will give you also more info about its disastrous two-stroke diesel engine. These specially-designed diesel engines proved so troublesome that they were soon discontinued, after which the trucks were sold only with a regular gas-guzzling V8.

Trust Doesn't Rust
Trust Doesn't Rust
2 years ago

Those three guys on the other page took that dude’s stuff. Look at ’em. They look guilty.

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
2 years ago

Can we talk about the (presumably) Ford emblem jauntily affixed on the leading edge of those trucks? I’m not a Ford guy-not even a pickup guy-but those speak to me!

It’s a sign, I tell ya: I’ve been squirreling $100 bills away dreaming of building a Pinto wagon for Lemons, and this is confirmation that I’m on the right track.

Mike Harrell
Mike Harrell
2 years ago
Reply to  TOSSABL

Lemons needs more Pintos and more wagons, therefore it just stands to reason that Lemons very much needs more Pinto wagons.

DAFinReverse
DAFinReverse
2 years ago

I know that dealer from that stamp on the brochure in the update! From the era we didn’t have area codes yet. Zandvoortselaan still is one of the only two roads leading to Zanvoort, so I used to spend hours in slow moving traffic heading to or coming back from Zandvoort. Double/triple trouble when it was F1 weekend! I can remember them from the sixties till about 15 or 20 years ago when they made way for houses.

The Autopian: For your old Dutch memories. Wow….!

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
2 years ago

Little Ann? Ol Dan?
Where’d you go?!

Manwich Sandwich
Manwich Sandwich
2 years ago

I can’t find any info on that particular Ford truck. My guess is that it’s probably a rebadged truck from another maker.

William Mayes
William Mayes
2 years ago

Alternatively, he had a big pile of manure in there, and after offloading, he painstakingly sanitized the entire bed. Now he is admiring his handiwork.

Donald Petersen
Donald Petersen
2 years ago

For a second there I was wondering what kind of bejeweled body-mod hardware this gent had installed on his forearm. Maybe some cool cyborg timepiece? But then I saw the bolt hexhead floating above it and then I was disappoint.

Mike
Mike
2 years ago

The real question is, where do you find these images??? A Dutch brochure from 1956? Who has this just lying around?

Doctor Nine
Doctor Nine
2 years ago
Reply to  Mike

Here’s an interesting advertisement. Apparently there’s a 1951 Pontiac Chieftain in the image. The photographer was more interested in focusing on the foreground though, I think.

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/SwsAAOSwZRZdctsA/s-l1600.jpg

Bill Amick
Bill Amick
2 years ago

He’s wondering why he’s 4’6”

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
2 years ago

He’s wondering why the hell he bought a truck when he’s got nothing to haul.

Jason Douglas
Jason Douglas
2 years ago

“Oh, man! Switchblade Steve is not going to be happy that I lost all his weed.”

Man With A Reliable Jeep
Man With A Reliable Jeep
2 years ago

Blue collar worker: *slaps flatbed of truck* This badboy can fit so many memes in it

Chris Hoffpauir
Chris Hoffpauir
2 years ago

What strikes me, beyond the farmer wondering who stole his turnips, is how pristine the truck bed is. I mean, you could eat those missing turnips right off those unbelievably clean wooden planks! I doubt those trucks even left the factory that clean.

05LGT
05LGT
2 years ago

I looked at it before I read the copy and saw a guy lost in thoughts and dreams of the potential to do things. Before country and western turned pickups into an identity statement they used to be for doing stuff. I think. I was born in the sixties, so I must have missed it.

Chris Hoffpauir
Chris Hoffpauir
2 years ago
Reply to  05LGT

So true. Trucks were for work. The only people who drove them around for transportation only were generally kids who inherited dad’s old farm truck to drive to school.

TexianRebel
TexianRebel
2 years ago

I took one look at the artwork and thought “Why is there a storyboard for Forrest Gump here?”

Arrest-me Red
Arrest-me Red
2 years ago

Reminds me of the famous Top Gear Semi-Truck and Ambulance challenges.

“Where is the car?” “I don’t know.”

“Where is your patient?” “He got better, he’s down at the pub I suppose.”

Mark Tucker
Mark Tucker
2 years ago

“Wait a sec…. This isn’t my truck!”

CatMan
CatMan
2 years ago
Reply to  Mark Tucker

And you may ask yourself, “Where is that large automobile?”
And you may tell yourself, “This is not my beautiful house”
And you may tell yourself, “This is not my beautiful wife”

Kevin Schmidt
Kevin Schmidt
2 years ago
Reply to  CatMan

Letting the days go by

Otter
Otter
2 years ago

“Who would steal my truckload of pig shit? And hose it down after?”

Cool Dave
Cool Dave
2 years ago

‘My wife’s gonna kill me..’

RootWyrm
RootWyrm
2 years ago

What he’s actually saying is “… yup, I probably can fit an entire Subaru 360 in there.”

Shop-Teacher
Shop-Teacher
2 years ago

The great thing about older trucks (which conversely is the terrible thing about new trucks), is they weren’t particularly tall. So this guy must be on his knees. Which I guess does track with the story you’re seeing Torch. “Who took all my tools!?!” Seriously, tool thieves are the worst.

Lew Schiller
Lew Schiller
2 years ago

Beautiful art as so many were.
Can’t find anything on G350…what was it?

Mr.Asa
Mr.Asa
2 years ago
Reply to  Lew Schiller

The F key is just next to the G key on the keyboard, so I think what it was was a typo

Lew Schiller
Lew Schiller
2 years ago
Reply to  Mr.Asa

I thought that might be the case but the height and shape of the bed doesn’t register

cgeorgemo70
cgeorgemo70
2 years ago
Reply to  Lew Schiller

Its a custom bed on a chassis there are no provisions for wheel wells which means it is sitting up pretty high to clear the rear wheels.

Mr.Asa
Mr.Asa
2 years ago
Reply to  Lew Schiller

Other than the bed height (which is kinda arbitrary as they were custom built a lot of the time) it looks right to me
https://www.streetsideclassics.com/vehicles/2984-dfw/1956-ford-f-350

Hugh Crawford
Hugh Crawford
2 years ago
Reply to  Mr.Asa

No, I think it is one of these
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_FK#/media/File:Ford_K%C3%B6ln_Diesel_1957_v.jpg
The Ford FK, short for “Ford Köln,” is a series of medium-duty trucks built by Ford of Germany in their Cologne (Köln) plant in two generations from 1951 until 1961.
Apparently, the two-stroke diesel engines in the second generation were so bad that Ford Cologne left the truck business.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_FK
Here is a manual for the 1956 Ford G350-700 Diesel Truck in Spanish
https://articulo.mercadolibre.com.ar/MLA-934170794-ford-g350-700-diesel-1956-camion-libro-manual-_JM

Andy Individual
Andy Individual
2 years ago
Reply to  Mr.Asa

Isn’t G700 a Gyundai luxury division model?

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
2 years ago
Reply to  Lew Schiller

It IS a Ford G-350. Apparently a Euro-market Ford truck. Here is the full brochure. In Dutch(?).

http://storm.oldcarmanualproject.com/fordg1956.htm

Mr.Asa
Mr.Asa
2 years ago

Dadgummit, Torch! You gotta tell us when we’re looking at a car from a domestic manufacturer that is only available overseas!

Thomas Metcalf
Thomas Metcalf
2 years ago

Man, Google will NOT give me any information on the G series. It seems to think I mean F every time. Even when I say ‘do not include F350’

Dutch
Dutch
2 years ago
Reply to  Thomas Metcalf

See my comment for more info (intended to go here, but landed elsewhere on this page , sorry)

Ron, on the reservation
Ron, on the reservation
2 years ago

I think Torch buried the headline here. This truck was apparently available with either a 2 cycle V6 or V4 DIESEL!!

Mike Harrell
Mike Harrell
2 years ago

From the brochure it looks like the three engine options were two-stroke diesels of either V4 or V6 configuration, or a conventional gasoline flathead V8.

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