Cold Start: What’s The Matter, Buddy?

Cs Worriedfiatvan

I find it very hard not to anthropomorphize vehicles, even with the medication I was given to control it. That’s why when I see something like this 1958 Fiat 615 N delivery truck, I feel some concern. I mean, look at this guy; it’s clearly worried about something.

What is it about the face and stature of this delivery van that makes it look like it’s terribly unsure of some decision it just made? I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a van look so pensive and uncertain. It’s worried. Someone needs to tell it everything’s going to be okay.

It’s going to be just fine, little van. Just let us know what we can do. Want some 20W-50?

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25 Responses

  1. What is going on with those wipers? I can’t think of a single advantage of having them go opposite ways, other than perhaps saving one modification when adapting the van to left driving markets.

    1. This also allows the front seat passenger to get equally good view out the windshield. Modern Fords also have this, and I love it. They’re the only cars where I can see out the windshield as a passenger when it’s raining. Usually I just get a view of dirty, unkept windshield corner because passenger-side wiper doesn’t go into the passenger’s corner.

  2. That wiper arrangement used to be pretty standard. Probably a holdover from when cars had 2 piece windshields with a center divider. My folks’ 1950 Pontiac was like that. And the wipers were vacuum powered.

  3. Just what sort of medication is called for in your case, Torchinsky? Is this self-diagnosed?

    Now, don’t get all HIPPA about this, just curious – Autopianalolol? Velocinumab? Jalopicillin?

    Some sort of mix found only on the street? Fentanyl plus a dash of WD-40?

    Some sort of nutraceutical like St. John’s Wort, with a Rain-X chaser?

    1. Due to his celebrity status, Torch was able to compile a team of the finest minds in the wellness industry, Gwyneth Paltrow, Dr. Oz, and Alex Jones. When they refused to divulge the ingredients, citing propriety information, A.J. Weberman investigated the refuge, and discovered empty containers of Marvel Mystery Oil, Barrs, and dozens of snake corpses.

  4. If this is anthropomorphized like in the Cars movies, then the wipers make it look like it is sleeping. The bit on the hood, above the grille makes a nice French moustache. This car would use one of those cigarette holders.

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