Home » Dammit, I Have To Go Back To The Hospital Today: Cold Start

Dammit, I Have To Go Back To The Hospital Today: Cold Start

Cs Cit Ambulance 1
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Look, I don’t want to keep any secrets from you. We’ve been through far, far too much together, haven’t we? We sure have. Anyway, I have two big scars from my aorta-explosion surgery. One is the big center-of-chest, right over the sternum chest-zipper-type scar, and that one seems fine. The other is a smaller incision on my right shoulder, right about at my collarbone, that was used for…something. Honestly I’ve never been really clear what went on in there. They did some grafting of veins or arteries or whatever tubes run in there. For a while after surgery it was kind of inflamed, but then it went down save for a little lump. That lump is now about the size of a ping-pong ball, sorta, and is giving me a low-grade fever.

Anyway, they did an ultrasound on it to see, I suppose, if there were any fetuses in there, and there weren’t, but the medical mechanics decided I should go to the hospital so they can do a CT scan and then, most likely, operate. So I’ll be out for a day or two.

Vidframe Min Top
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I’m sure it won’t be too big a deal! I’m not going to the hospital in an ambulance this time, but if I did, I think I’d like it to be one of these Citroën DS ambulances, because, look at it!

Let’s look at that top image again:

Cs Cit Ambulance 1

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Just…just what the hell is that on the stretcher? Is that a baby Arrakeen sandworm that was hit by a bus? Is it a cartoon character’s foot? Why is that there instead of a human? I’m so baffled. It’s not like they couldn’t get actual people to be carried on stretchers for their brochures. Look:

Cs Citambulance 2

Look at that poor bastard, smacked on the head and with a broken wrist; this has all the hallmarks of a severe owl attack.

Also, look at that swanky ambulance! All powder-pink and subtle, with curtains and a flag instead of some vulgar lights and sirens!

Cs Citambulance 4

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It’s kind of remarkable just how little was actually done to the DS to convert it into an ambulance. It pretty much just looks like the rear seat was split and a stretcher was slid in. That seems to be about it!

Cs Citambulance 5

Really, this has to be one of the most minimal ambulance conversions I’ve ever seen. It’s a testimony to the excellent packaging and space utilization of the car! And when did little flags stop becoming a standard part of ambulance livery?

Anyway, I’ll be back next week, I’m pretty sure. With hopefully one less inflamed lump in my shoulder and some repaired blood-hoses.

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Ronan McGrath
Ronan McGrath
1 month ago

Don’t let any of this hassle turn you into a nice sensible person or add an excessive amount of sanity. All the best for a full recovery.

Morgan van Humbeck
Morgan van Humbeck
1 month ago

We’re all behind you! Or in front. Wherever you need us

Martin Dollinger
Martin Dollinger
1 month ago

Fingers crossed for you. Get well soon 🙂

Unlimited Edition
Unlimited Edition
1 month ago

Good luck with your scan Jason. Wishing you a speedy recovery!

James Carson
James Carson
1 month ago

Doctors probably need to buy grad outfits for their offspring and require your contribution to complete the ensemble. Hope the bump isn’t a Beeblebrox extra head. Be well.

Parsko
Parsko
1 month ago

Just walk it off already!

Urban Runabout
Urban Runabout
1 month ago
Reply to  Parsko

Have you tried putting Windex on it?

Argentine Utop
Argentine Utop
1 month ago

Torch, are you, perhaps, growing a single tailight on your shoulder? That would be cool, right?
Anyway, all the best with your visit to the hospital, and for Gods’ sake, try to get hold of those pills that had you writing all sorts of Jasonades.

On the less important topic: there used to be one of these in Kazinsky Utca, next to Szimpla Kert, in Budapest. That was on a past life, in a world that does not exist anymore. The car was very long, but huge on the inside. If I’m not wrong, it had foldable seats in the cargo area.

Swing_Axle
Swing_Axle
1 month ago
Reply to  Argentine Utop

Looking forward to the article-length breakdown of the differences between ’67, ’68, and ’69-year shoulder taillights.

Tim Beamer
Tim Beamer
1 month ago

Hope all goes well, Torch. I look forward to seeing posts about the taillight assemblies on ambulances when you get back!

Andy Individual
Andy Individual
1 month ago

This is so very French. The attendants are dressed like chefs.

Don’t let them amputate anything! You’ll need that arm to help us keep manual transmissions alive.

Urban Runabout
Urban Runabout
1 month ago

You do not want to know what’s under that sauce.

AlterId
AlterId
1 month ago

Stay aflame, Torch.

JDS
JDS
1 month ago

GL with the docs, Jason.

Don’t forget to download a season of “Dr. Pimple Popper” to enjoy while waiting for your delicious hospital food. Maybe DT can smuggle in some shower spaghetti for you.

Beer-light Guidance
Beer-light Guidance
1 month ago

Best of luck and get well soon!

Marlin May
Marlin May
1 month ago

Just make sure your mechanics don’t confuse your coolant lines and your fuel lines! Heal well, Jason!

Hugh Crawford
Hugh Crawford
1 month ago

An inflamed lump on your shoulder?

Reminds me of this

https://youtu.be/_Nh-F8kpWms?si=wODzjpxH9TGJ8OZe

Man I need to see that again.

Totally not a robot
Totally not a robot
1 month ago

At least this hospital trip is planned.

Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
1 month ago

Be well JT.

Beto O'Kitty
Beto O'Kitty
1 month ago

Hope it all goes smoothly. Get well and strong so you can survive our comments!

Bizness Comma Nunya
Bizness Comma Nunya
1 month ago

Hope you are ok Torch!

Maybe a small fragment of gauze (or something related) was left in the shoulder incision, that happens a LOT more than most people think. Annoying, but, solvable.

Hugh Crawford
Hugh Crawford
1 month ago

Well, around here, those big green crosses like on the flag, stuck to the side of the Citroen indicate a cannabis retailing operation, so maybe that’s a really ineptly wrapped bale of weed?
Or perhaps, the artist had just partaken thereof?
Or maybe it’s some weird French bondage thing and they are, you know, “playing doctor”.

Jb996
Jb996
1 month ago

It’s interesting that:
Today) An Ambulance is a small moving hospital with supplies and equipment to perform a huge array of procedures to stabilize someone to make it to the hospital.

50s-60s) An Ambulance is basically a hearse with less threatening paint. “Hold the cute nurses hand, that’ll help.”

Adam Atwell
Adam Atwell
1 month ago
Reply to  Jb996

Don’t forget the complimentary ash tray and cigarette lighter. Care for a smoke on your way to the hospital?

Manwich Sandwich
Manwich Sandwich
1 month ago

Good luck… I hope everything goes well!

On a side note… I wonder if there was any similarities between what they did with your veins and recoring a heater core…

Dudeoutwest
Dudeoutwest
1 month ago

Good luck, Torch. I know these things can be unnerving, so I hope you get a solid diagnosis and plan to move forward and heal. As the husband of a sometimes ill bride, I know that your wife and family probably feel a little powerless and worried. Please relay my best wishes to them for courage and patience as things play out.

Wezel Boy
Wezel Boy
1 month ago

Get well soon Torch!

Jonee Eisen
Jonee Eisen
1 month ago

Get well soon, Jason! Isn’t there a Citroen collector near you that can mock up one of these and bring you to the sawbones?

Dave's_Not_Here
Dave's_Not_Here
1 month ago

Here’s to all good news and a speedy recovery.
I second the creation and display of a Torchinsky flag!

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