Home » Dammit, I Have To Go Back To The Hospital Today: Cold Start

Dammit, I Have To Go Back To The Hospital Today: Cold Start

Cs Cit Ambulance 1
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Look, I don’t want to keep any secrets from you. We’ve been through far, far too much together, haven’t we? We sure have. Anyway, I have two big scars from my aorta-explosion surgery. One is the big center-of-chest, right over the sternum chest-zipper-type scar, and that one seems fine. The other is a smaller incision on my right shoulder, right about at my collarbone, that was used for…something. Honestly I’ve never been really clear what went on in there. They did some grafting of veins or arteries or whatever tubes run in there. For a while after surgery it was kind of inflamed, but then it went down save for a little lump. That lump is now about the size of a ping-pong ball, sorta, and is giving me a low-grade fever.

Anyway, they did an ultrasound on it to see, I suppose, if there were any fetuses in there, and there weren’t, but the medical mechanics decided I should go to the hospital so they can do a CT scan and then, most likely, operate. So I’ll be out for a day or two.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

I’m sure it won’t be too big a deal! I’m not going to the hospital in an ambulance this time, but if I did, I think I’d like it to be one of these Citroën DS ambulances, because, look at it!

Let’s look at that top image again:

Cs Cit Ambulance 1

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Just…just what the hell is that on the stretcher? Is that a baby Arrakeen sandworm that was hit by a bus? Is it a cartoon character’s foot? Why is that there instead of a human? I’m so baffled. It’s not like they couldn’t get actual people to be carried on stretchers for their brochures. Look:

Cs Citambulance 2

Look at that poor bastard, smacked on the head and with a broken wrist; this has all the hallmarks of a severe owl attack.

Also, look at that swanky ambulance! All powder-pink and subtle, with curtains and a flag instead of some vulgar lights and sirens!

Cs Citambulance 4

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It’s kind of remarkable just how little was actually done to the DS to convert it into an ambulance. It pretty much just looks like the rear seat was split and a stretcher was slid in. That seems to be about it!

Cs Citambulance 5

Really, this has to be one of the most minimal ambulance conversions I’ve ever seen. It’s a testimony to the excellent packaging and space utilization of the car! And when did little flags stop becoming a standard part of ambulance livery?

Anyway, I’ll be back next week, I’m pretty sure. With hopefully one less inflamed lump in my shoulder and some repaired blood-hoses.

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Jeff Brown
Jeff Brown
2 days ago

With a little more notice, I’d be happy to drive you to your next surgery in my 1986 Citroen CX/Heuliez Quasar ambulance!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXemj75cIvU

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
2 days ago

Ooh, a danger lump. The Puffalumps don’t like danger lumps.

Mat M. O’Dowd
Mat M. O’Dowd
4 days ago

Hi Jason, get well!

In the meantime I have the answer to your question “And when did little flags stop becoming a standard part of ambulance livery?” The little flags stopped becoming a standard part of ambulance livery in 1963.

There was a set of three flags (link to a picture of the flags), indicating the ambulance status:

• Blue cross flag, Ambulance is idle
• Red Cross flag, Ambulance on the way to pick someone up
• Red circle with a white car silhouette containing the silhouette of a person laying down, Ambulance is transporting a person

Here is a page (in French) giving a detailed rundown on DS ambulance history: https://www.nuancierds.fr/DT%20breaks%202a.htm

I possess one of them flags (red circle with silhouettes ), and until seeing it in the picture with the pink ambulance I had no clue on what it meant. Your article sent me down the rabbit hole.

Last edited 4 days ago by Mat M. O’Dowd
D M
D M
4 days ago

When I said I hope you stay weird, I meant articles, not medical conditions…

Heal up, look after yourself Torch. When you’re healthy, we’ll be here.

Hoonicus
Hoonicus
5 days ago

“Just…just what the hell is that on the stretcher?”
Ah, the renown french wit! Sure the patient has one foot in the grave, but we think we can save this one.

JKcycletramp
JKcycletramp
5 days ago

The front passenger seat of the ambulance appears to be pre-equipped with either a lawyer or an estate agent.

Cuzn Ed
Cuzn Ed
5 days ago

I just hope that both you and the baby are healthy.

Danangme69
Danangme69
6 days ago

Pretty cool ambulance if the docs screw up them can use it again to take you to the cemetery

Mike Dris
Mike Dris
6 days ago

You must really be under the weather as you didn’t go for the obvious and wonder about making the already present lights blink in a way to say ambulance.

Get well.

Dodsworth
Dodsworth
6 days ago

What kind of chainsaw are they going to use?

Twobox Designgineer
Twobox Designgineer
6 days ago
Reply to  Dodsworth

Whichever one ChangLi supplies. They heard about the battery…surgery, and they are very…appreciative.

AJ
AJ
6 days ago

Refuah shlema, Torch. Take it easy and get better. We’ll all be here when you return.

WaCkO
WaCkO
6 days ago

You sure the first doctor didn’t give you a spam bumper guard ?

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