Home » David Has Abandoned Me To Go Jump Raptors, But I Will Tough It Our For The Rest Of You

David Has Abandoned Me To Go Jump Raptors, But I Will Tough It Our For The Rest Of You

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If you really want to read this silly post you can become a member for like $7 and read it. It would make us happy!

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Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
23 days ago

Please tell me you or someone else on the trip took the Faygo, shook it up and sprayed it all around the event, yelling WHOOP WHOOP JUGGALO HOMIESSSSSS at the top of their lungs.

Good to see that Ferd is down with the clown.

67 Oldsmobile
67 Oldsmobile
24 days ago

So,please explain why David got dressed before going in the shower? Is it because he doesn’t like to eat spaghetti naked or something?

MustBe
MustBe
25 days ago

Maybe in your down time you can get the site working again, the full screen ads for facial cleanser and such are locking up, and sometimes the ad window shows absolutely nothing while doing so.

Bongo Friendee Harvey Park
Bongo Friendee Harvey Park
25 days ago

I thought that Jeep was in great condition, yet it smells like gas?

Jalop Gold
Jalop Gold
15 days ago

“Great condition” in the DT dictionary means no rust holes you can put a hand through, all glass is present and intact, and the engine starts when you turn the key. Oh, and it has all 4 wheels.

Dennis Ames
Dennis Ames
26 days ago

Hoping your Significant Other, is not a subscriber, so when you get home and talk about the “Grueling” Business trip you were on, doesn’t see this

Trust Doesn't Rust
Trust Doesn't Rust
26 days ago

I have some notes:

As someone who appears to be just as pale as you, I support your fully covered cabana choice.”David hastily dressed, showered, and ran out the door at 6:00 AM”. I hope he didn’t do these things in that order, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. Given the rush, it sounds like he didn’t even have time for his morning shower spaghetti breakfast. Side note: when he travels, does room service deliver the meal directly to the shower?I think there should be an additional membership level where you’re automatically entered into a raffle to join the crew for a press event. I would pay extra for that.

Last edited 26 days ago by Trust Doesn't Rust
Trust Doesn't Rust
Trust Doesn't Rust
26 days ago

Not sure why this turned into one block of text. I used bullets. I’m not a monster.

Jalop Gold
Jalop Gold
15 days ago

Plumbing emergency, Torch surgery. Based on more recent articles perhaps these were related? (Garbage disposal could be located anywhere in that domicile!)

Aardvark775
Aardvark775
26 days ago

Faygo…does that mean the Autopian staff are secret Juggalos? It would explain a lot.

ClutchAbuse
ClutchAbuse
26 days ago
Reply to  Aardvark775

But what is a Juggalo? I don’t know…

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
26 days ago
Reply to  ClutchAbuse

Here. More than you ever wanted to know.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
23 days ago
Reply to  ClutchAbuse

I don’t know, but I’m down with the clown and I’m down for life, yo. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNRRQI6NtoQ

Shop-Teacher
Shop-Teacher
27 days ago

Pro tip: always travel with ear plugs. I’ve yet to share a room with another guy and NOT need them.

John Gustin
John Gustin
26 days ago
Reply to  Shop-Teacher

Have any of those guys traveled with their CPAP yet? If so, is that noise better?

Shop-Teacher
Shop-Teacher
26 days ago
Reply to  John Gustin

I travel with a CPAP, but it’s pretty quiet. CPAPs vary a lot from model to model, and also what condition their in. I’ve had one long enough to have had multiple in various states of repair.

You’d DEFINITELY rather hear the CPAP than the sound of me snoring like a bear.

Isis
Isis
26 days ago
Reply to  John Gustin

I use nasal strips and flonase. It helps but doesn’t eliminate.

Jalop Gold
Jalop Gold
15 days ago
Reply to  Isis

Jason eliminates!

ClutchAbuse
ClutchAbuse
26 days ago
Reply to  John Gustin

My mom uses one. We share a room when we book Yosemite and her’s has never bothered me. I can barely hear it.

Ben
Ben
26 days ago
Reply to  Shop-Teacher

Honestly, even if you’re not sharing a room ear plugs are great. Most hotel rooms are not that well soundproofed and I’ve found I sleep so much better with ear plugs. I’ve even taken to wearing them at home because the neighbor on the bedroom side of my house likes to do loud activities early in the morning and I’m a night owl.

Inthemikelane
Inthemikelane
26 days ago
Reply to  Ben

To sleep when traveling, I use a white noise app on my phone and use earbuds as ear plugs if needed.

Shop-Teacher
Shop-Teacher
26 days ago
Reply to  Inthemikelane

That works. I’m a side sleeper, so I prefer ear plugs to ear buds personally, for comfort.

Inthemikelane
Inthemikelane
26 days ago
Reply to  Shop-Teacher

Same here, side sleeper. Earbuds aren’t great when you’re trying to side sleep, so I do carry soft plugs if needed. After a thousand nights in hotels, it’s a routine.

Shop-Teacher
Shop-Teacher
26 days ago
Reply to  Ben

I always use them when camping. Keep out those early morning nature sounds, so I can sleep in a bit.

Andrea Petersen
Andrea Petersen
27 days ago

I think this trip is healthy for you, Matt. Judging by your skin tone, you are in SEVERE need of sunshine-provided vitamin d. You’re more pale than I am, and I’m literally one of those people who wear all black and avoid the sun like it will kill us.

Adrian Clarke
Adrian Clarke
27 days ago

Redpop. Man alive the marketing guys and gals really sweated that one didn’t they.

Highland Green Miata
Highland Green Miata
26 days ago
Reply to  Adrian Clarke

It was originally “strawberry soda”. Then became red pop in the 60’s. They changed BOTH the words…

Rad Barchetta
Rad Barchetta
26 days ago
Reply to  Adrian Clarke

Sometimes when your demographic is the lowest common denominator, you just gotta lean into it.

Dodsworth
Dodsworth
27 days ago

It took me a few seconds to figure out what the heck was going on with your deformed foot. Camera angles are fun.

Andrea Petersen
Andrea Petersen
27 days ago
Reply to  Dodsworth

I had to scroll back up, but it was worth it.

Highland Green Miata
Highland Green Miata
27 days ago

Click that image of the waterslide and you get a little surprise

Shop-Teacher
Shop-Teacher
27 days ago

BWAHAHA!!

Totally not a robot
Totally not a robot
26 days ago

Now you have me wondering how many other easter eggs I’ve missed on this beautiful site.

Mechjaz
Mechjaz
26 days ago

Oh man I was wondering, wasn’t there a little more going on when this post first went up? And there it is. Brilliant.

Parsko
Parsko
26 days ago

Matt earns his own COTD based on this!

Icouldntfindaclevername
Icouldntfindaclevername
26 days ago

Dang it! now I have to click on all the pictures going forward!

Taco Shackleford
Taco Shackleford
27 days ago

Did not know Faygo came in a glass. Where I’m from Faygo was plastic 24oz, or 2 liter.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
23 days ago

It used to be *exclusively* in the fancy grocery store near me, in cane sugar form. (That would make The Gathering far more dangerous, I’d think.)

Rad Barchetta
Rad Barchetta
27 days ago

WHERE IS THE OTHER SOCK

Shop-Teacher
Shop-Teacher
27 days ago
Reply to  Rad Barchetta

Probably holding up a broken driveshaft or something.

AC2DE
AC2DE
26 days ago
Reply to  Rad Barchetta

Air filter, probably. Somewhere, there’s a Jeep that likes to sniff socks…

DONALD FOLEY
DONALD FOLEY
26 days ago
Reply to  Rad Barchetta

Went to bed with his trousers on;
One shoe off, and the other shoe on

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
23 days ago
Reply to  Rad Barchetta

THIS

THIS BOTHERS ME

SOCKS OFF OR SOCKS ON, PICK ONE

That just looks…uncomfortable????? I’m vicariously uncomfortable on David’s behalf.

LTDScott
LTDScott
27 days ago

I can only hope he’s jumping Raptors onto Catalina Island.

Abdominal Snoman
Abdominal Snoman
27 days ago
Reply to  LTDScott

… or at least trying to one-up Jason by jumping 85 feet, though I suspect that won’t be enough to make it to the island.

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