Home » Don’t Buy A New Mattress, Become An Autopian Member For $4 A Month And Support Independent Journalism

Don’t Buy A New Mattress, Become An Autopian Member For $4 A Month And Support Independent Journalism

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This one’s for the commenters. Thank you so much for building what has become the greatest automotive community on the internet. Every time we publish our stories, we’re always delighted to go back later and read the comments, which are almost always witty, thoughtful, and often absurdly thorough.

Commenting is a huge help, as it helps us distinguish ourselves from other sites, but the biggest help to us is becoming a member, especially because solely-ad-based media just isn’t what it used to be. We understand that not everyone can or wants to become a member, and that’s totally cool; we just love having you around! But if you’re interested in becoming a member, here’s a President’s Day discount: $22 off — or $48 for a year of Cloth ($4 a month). Just click here.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

[Ed note: Coincidentally, $4 is how much David spends on new clothing annually. -MH]

With this membership you’re not only supporting The Autopian, you’re also getting something for yourself:

  • Access to the Member’s Only email
  • Access to special restricted posts
  • Early invites to events
  • Special discounts
  • Special Discord access
Of course, if you want a badge, t-shirt, or sticker you can become a Vinyl, Velour, or Rich Corinthian Leather member.
Again, thank you for being a commenter and choosing to be part of our congregation!
[Ed note: I just want to say what a screaming hot deal this is, and that we absolutely guarantee all Autopian ComaSleep Mattresses for Fifty Years or Three Months (whichever comes first) and I can just about certainly say that our mattresses no longer have entire hamster bones or traces of asbestos or whatever else those liars at the Consumer Protection Agency said, which were, again, all lies. Also, remember, the American Dental Association (ADA) recommends changing your mattress every six weeks to prevent periodontal disease!
Hold on, Matt’s holding up a sign that says we’re no longer allowed to sell mattresses, and this post is for membership? Can that be right? Seems weird, but, uh, membership is a great deal, too, and I bet the ADA wants you to get that, too. – JT]

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Mordy Glazer
Mordy Glazer
1 month ago

Just joined on the Vinyl level. I followed David and Torch over from the place that shall not be named and have been following here ever since. Finally in a position to show my support for all of you wonderful humanoids. Keep cranking out the content!

Matt Hardigree
Matt Hardigree
1 month ago
Reply to  Mordy Glazer

Thank you so much!

Martin Ibert
Martin Ibert
1 month ago

I would possibly consider joining if the subscription page actually worked, but it doesn’t.

Matt Hardigree
Matt Hardigree
1 month ago
Reply to  Martin Ibert

Uh oh! Email me at matt@TheAutopian.com?

Martin Ibert
Martin Ibert
1 month ago
Reply to  Matt Hardigree

Either you fixed it, or the link in the e-mail you sent me was somehow different. It did work, and I did join eventually. Thanks Matt!

Matt Hardigree
Matt Hardigree
1 month ago
Reply to  Martin Ibert

Welcome!

Vb9594
Vb9594
1 month ago

You finally got me.

Fredzy
Fredzy
1 month ago
Reply to  Vb9594

Same. My list of paid news site subscriptions now looks like this:

New York TimesAutopian

Last edited 1 month ago by Fredzy
The F--kshambolic Cretinoid Harvey Park
The F--kshambolic Cretinoid Harvey Park
1 month ago

FINE. You got me. Money isn’t exactly flowing at the RV Park but y’all need it more than me.

Thanks for creating a killer publication.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
1 month ago

You, too, could see the Puffalumps I post in the super secret squirrel channel!

(I post Puffalumps everywhere, for what it’s worth.)

Sensual Bugling Elk
Sensual Bugling Elk
1 month ago
Reply to  Stef Schrader

I was under the impression we members were getting the Premium ‘Lump content. If that’s not the case, I’m demanding a refund to my membership.

The F--kshambolic Cretinoid Harvey Park
The F--kshambolic Cretinoid Harvey Park
1 month ago

That’s a pretty awesome user name

Sensual Bugling Elk
Sensual Bugling Elk
1 month ago

Daw thanks, you’re a peach.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
1 month ago

It’s all premium ‘lump content—Fisher-Price did nearly call them Little Luxuries, after all—but there’s MORE OF IT in the secret channel.

Tagarito
Tagarito
1 month ago

I’m in for base model, bargain basement presidential mattress promos, thanks a lot.

– rookie Autopianite*
(*credits to Clear_prop for coining this)

PajeroPilot
PajeroPilot
1 month ago

You twisted my arm. The mattress will last another year.

John Metcalf
John Metcalf
1 month ago

Okay, you got me. I’m a sucker for a good deal.

Hoonicus
Hoonicus
1 month ago

What Big Brother snatched away the bumper article?

Jason Torchinsky
Jason Torchinsky
1 month ago
Reply to  Hoonicus

I’m not sure what happened! But it’s fixed now!

Hoonicus
Hoonicus
1 month ago

It gave me the creeps, the creaks, and the bleeps.

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
1 month ago
Reply to  Hoonicus

I assumed it was big auto body, making threatening comments about taillights or something if it wasn’t removed.

Matt H
Matt H
1 month ago

Worked on me, I’m now a proud mattress subscriber!

Matt Hardigree
Matt Hardigree
1 month ago
Reply to  Matt H

Another Matt H!

OrigamiSensei
OrigamiSensei
1 month ago

Speaking as one of the OG subscribers it’s a decision I’ve not regretted and in fact upped my membership to Velour from Vinyl for this year.

I just got my renewal swag. While I was never going to subject my Jag to a bumper sticker the grille badge is a classy piece of gear and I think that’s going to be installed this coming weekend. Also the Changli and Berkeley auto pins are super cool. Plus a fun t-shirt… so, thanks!

I know March 32nd falls on a Monday this year but are you going to do another LA gathering like last year on the weekend before?

Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Amberturnsignalsarebetter
1 month ago

Dagnabbit, I’ve been standing in line since Christmas to buy my Autopian mattress. The 50-year/3-month warranty was what convinced me to replace my old hamster bone mattress. Now I’m stuck on the old asbestos hide-a-bed until I can find some used coil overs to make a ripoff Autopian Comasnooze.

Mr Sarcastic
Mr Sarcastic
1 month ago

I say comments gear you too better column ideas. How about a classified section for members only. Sell/buy you project free if you are a member?

Mechjaz
Mechjaz
1 month ago
Reply to  Mr Sarcastic

I’ve been thinking about this a bunch lately. I’ve got lovely style 107 in my laundry closet and a cracked front and rear (107) I’m circling like a vulture for scrap unless someone can make a better home for them.

Two cracked wheels was enough to push me to get a whole new set, but I’d like what’s left to go to good homes.

Last edited 1 month ago by Mechjaz
Jack Trade
Jack Trade
1 month ago
Reply to  Mechjaz

I’m with you – Mr Sarcastic has a great idea here! I bet there’s a lot of people here who’d even give away stuff, just to know another enthusiast would have it.

Matt Hardigree
Matt Hardigree
1 month ago
Reply to  Mr Sarcastic

I have a lot of very basic stuff I need to get done first, but we’re having the convo for sure.

AC2DE
AC2DE
1 month ago
Reply to  Matt Hardigree

Maybe just a channel in Discord for now? I have a 24 year old Ranger with a 5-speed manual that I can’t bear to send to the crusher. A bearing failed in the engine, and I don’t have the time to do the work anymore.

A. Barth
A. Barth
1 month ago

the comments, which are almost always witty, thoughtful, and often absurdly thorough

I think that can be true. In fact, it reminds me of a fairly unusual phenomenon where…

[23 hours later]

… so really, there was no way to get that part unstuck. 🙂

Last edited 1 month ago by A. Barth
My Goat Ate My Homework
My Goat Ate My Homework
1 month ago

I joined. Where’s my blue check mark?

Adrian Clarke
Adrian Clarke
1 month ago
My Goat Ate My Homework
My Goat Ate My Homework
1 month ago
Reply to  Adrian Clarke

This is exactly why I joined. Never change.

Rust Buckets
Rust Buckets
1 month ago

I’ve been waffling about subscribing as long as you have been doing them, and this finally convinced me. For $48, I just subscribed.

Guaranteed for fifty years or three months, whichever comes first, is gold.

Framed
Framed
1 month ago

Is this price cut inspired by Tesla? Great, now my full price Cloth membership that I bought just a few months ago is worth 37% less in resale value!!!

SonOfLP500
SonOfLP500
1 month ago
Reply to  Framed

Let’s all put our original Cloth memberships together, slice them up into tranches, get them rerated by S&P as Velour, then sell them to sophisticated suckers just before the whole market in Autopian membership collapses under its own weight!

Trust Doesn't Rust
Trust Doesn't Rust
1 month ago

Hold on, Matt’s holding up a sign that says we’re no longer allowed to sell mattresses”

The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.

Doctor Nine
Doctor Nine
1 month ago

That chick on the mattress needs a better razor. Her 5-o’clock shadow is frighteniing.

SlowCarFast
SlowCarFast
1 month ago
Reply to  Doctor Nine

Those teeth could use whitening, as well.

Shooting Brake
Shooting Brake
1 month ago

Wow! That’s deal!! When word of this spreads it will be total Bedlam! 😉

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