Home » Happy Rosh Hashanah, Bishes: Cold Start

Happy Rosh Hashanah, Bishes: Cold Start

Cs 5783tbird

Hello Autopians! I’m going to be out today because it’s Rosh Hashanah, which literally means “head of the year,” because it’s Jewish New Year time, and even in my incredibly pared-down level of “observance” I take off for the High Holidays, and this is one of them. The other, Yom Kippur, is coming up next, and I’ll fast and try to apologize to everyone I’ve been shitty to and try hard to be less shitty, and maybe I’ll get written in the Book of Life, part of the hilariously vague eschatology of Judiasm that answers pretty much nothing. Still, it’s worthwhile practice, asking forgiveness from people. But I’m getting ahead of myself! It’s gonna be 5783, bitches!

Man, Jews have been counting years a long-ass time. How come we don’t have faster-than-light spaceships or food replicators or anything like that yet? It’s the 5780s, man! Jeez. Just think about that: according to the Jewish calendar, we’re right in the middle of the 5700’s Radwood era!

Anyway, to all fellow Members of the Tribe, happy new year, שנה טובה and all that. For everyone else, I hope your year continues to be fantastic, too. You’re here, reading this, so I think that counts as my tribe as well.

Now let’s watch the Big Matzoh Ball drop! Is that a thing?


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36 Responses

  1. Happy New Year!

    I always think of this generation (the “Fox Bird”??) as being *the* T-bird of the entire ’80s, and then remember there was the warmed over ’70s version for the first couple of years.

    I’m kinda like when Hollywood does a retro movie, takes the most recognizable feature of a given decade, and then exaggerates it to the point where people not around then might think that’s how it was all the time.

    Like, the ’80s actually did have colors that weren’t neon or pastel. A lot of brown, actually!

    1. You forget that 80-82 T-Bird was still Fox Body, just with a 70’s wrapper. Not excusing it, just is what it is. Ford had 7 different vehicles running around on the Fox Platform in 1981, and they all looked shockingly similar to each other.

  2. “Jason, Jason! Only once a year we see you nowadays! Our Rabbi says your Rabbi says he never sees you. So what are you doing? Your aunt Sophie- she worries.

    “I got a new job Uncle Joseph.”

    “So wonderful! Finally! I told Aunt Sophie that whole car magazine thing was just a phase, and you’d grow out of it. She said that a married man with children should have grown out of it years ago, but finally! Is it in a bank? A stock broker’s maybe? Medicine was too much to ask maybe, but a real job!”

    “Actually, my friend and I started our own business.”

    Well… uh… that’s great! I know that the big companies are hiring in these terrible times. At least you’re not a writer anymore. Aunt Sophie always said that writers are just painters who can’t paint. So at least in your own company you have a job title I can brag about to my friends at the golf course?”

    “Well, I’m a Senior Editor at a website. It’s really popular, Uncle Joseph.”

    What, still with the writing? Okay, okay. But thank goodness that you finally broadened out and got out of the car business. Who needs a magazine to tell them to buy a Lexus? So Senior Editor! That sounds great. Freddy with his lawyer nephew can shut up now his big cases in front of Federal Judges. Tell me What does a Senior Editor do so I can tell Aunt Sophie to practice before I shut up bragging Freddie? ”

    “Well, I am in charge of the tail light department, but I also wrote a story about cars with handles on their noses yesterday.” And right now I’m in charge of the whole website while David is in Australia. Oh, and I guess you could say that means Mercedes works for me, kind of.”

    “Tail light editor? Nose handles? Mercedes? German?

    “Mercedes, well, she isn’t German, Uncle Joseph….”

  3. That’s (almost) my car! First car I bought myself, in 1993. Dark red, but not a “heritage” like the one pictured. It’s currently in the barn, awaiting its 4th life. Was wrecked when I bought it, fixed it and wrecked it again. Fixed it and drove it till the engine gave up. Now planning a resto-mod with a twin turbo 351W! Waiting for the last kid to leave home!

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