Hello Autopians! I’m going to be out today because it’s Rosh Hashanah, which literally means “head of the year,” because it’s Jewish New Year time, and even in my incredibly pared-down level of “observance” I take off for the High Holidays, and this is one of them. The other, Yom Kippur, is coming up next, and I’ll fast and try to apologize to everyone I’ve been shitty to and try hard to be less shitty, and maybe I’ll get written in the Book of Life, part of the hilariously vague eschatology of Judiasm that answers pretty much nothing. Still, it’s worthwhile practice, asking forgiveness from people. But I’m getting ahead of myself! It’s gonna be 5783, bitches!
Man, Jews have been counting years a long-ass time. How come we don’t have faster-than-light spaceships or food replicators or anything like that yet? It’s the 5780s, man! Jeez. Just think about that: according to the Jewish calendar, we’re right in the middle of the 5700’s Radwood era!
Anyway, to all fellow Members of the Tribe, happy new year, שנה טובה and all that. For everyone else, I hope your year continues to be fantastic, too. You’re here, reading this, so I think that counts as my tribe as well.
Now let’s watch the Big Matzoh Ball drop! Is that a thing?