Home » How I Got Into A Fancy Oscar Party With Hands Covered In My Jeep’s Engine Oil

How I Got Into A Fancy Oscar Party With Hands Covered In My Jeep’s Engine Oil

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Mike F.
Mike F.
7 months ago

This is a fun article, but I’d appreciate more detail in exactly how you interacted with these people you don’t know and who wear jeans that cost more than everything in my closet combined. I’d bet there are more than a few of us here who’ve found ourselves in somewhat similar situations who could use some pointers!

Geoff Buchholz
Geoff Buchholz
7 months ago

Elise seems like a good sport.

And DT cleans up (mostly) well, but the puddling of fabric at his ankles made my eyelids twitch. David, please get those pants tailored.

Mike F.
Mike F.
7 months ago
Reply to  Geoff Buchholz

And get the sleeves taken up.

SonOfLP500
SonOfLP500
7 months ago

“When I was an engineer at the Chrysler Technical Center, dirty nails were a badge of honor.”

When I worked on a Ford engine production line in the late 1970s, dirty nails were the one thing I couldn’t stand. Scrubbing with any kind of brush couldn’t get them really clean, so I used to pare them back to the pink bit and keep them that way. I still can’t stand them to grow much more than about ½ mm before paring them back again.
On the other hand, the grime I could never get rid of was the sort of tide mark separating the skin on my palms from the skin on the back of my hands. That area is full of micro-cracks that are invisible normally but got stained by blackened oil and grease like a sort of shallow tattoo, which no amount of scrubbing could clean up.

Idle Sentiments
Idle Sentiments
7 months ago

A Target suit?

I get it.
I’ve bought and returned too many ties there.
If people I know would just stop dying or getting married I wouldn’t have to bother with these uncomfortable, archaic accoutrements.

Keep the receipt and warm up that iron.

Last edited 7 months ago by Idle Sentiments
3WiperB
3WiperB
7 months ago

Speaking of Trade-In-Tuesday…

(Looks at calendar)

It’s been a few Tuesdays. Looking forward to the next installment.

IRegertNothing, Esq.
IRegertNothing, Esq.
7 months ago

That suit looks fine to me. You went to an event full of people you don’t know and will likely never see again, so that’s a nice low-pressure introduction to your new Hollywood lifestyle. You can always step up to a Kohl’s suit in the future if the Target suit falls below your sophisticated tastes.

Tim Beamer
Tim Beamer
7 months ago

Can’t even notice it next to Elise’s black dress. Mr. Tracy, you are punching well above your weight class with your S.O. Keep bench pressing gas tanks.

Jack Beckman
Jack Beckman
7 months ago

You want to clean that gunk off quickly? Use LAVA soap. Works better that anything else.

EXL500
EXL500
7 months ago
Reply to  Jack Beckman

And has since I was a kid 60 years ago…and no doubt longer.

Chronometric
Chronometric
7 months ago
Reply to  Jack Beckman

Works great but then I can’t unlock my phone because I have no fingerprints!

Auto Guy
Auto Guy
7 months ago

You like like a (highly successful) producer. Well done, David.

Mike
Mike
7 months ago
Reply to  Auto Guy

Technically speaking, he IS a highly successful producer! (He gets my membership each month!)

Ben
Ben
7 months ago

I didn’t know anyone there

Based on what I hear from people in the industry who live in LA, a fun game at LA parties could be to go around pretending to know people. Some of them have so many social connections there that they can’t remember a good chunk of the people they’ve met and spend quite a lot of time at parties pretending to know who they’re talking to. See how many you can convince that you’ve met before. 🙂

Mind you, I would never actually do that myself because it would involve holding conversations with people I don’t know and I’m pretty sure that was one of Dante’s circles of Hell. If not, it should have been.

MATTinMKE
MATTinMKE
7 months ago

That’s not a bad looking suit!

Taargus Taargus
Taargus Taargus
7 months ago

Target has suits? I’m surprised I don’t own one yet.

Two years ago I was forced to acquire a suit for a wedding, and managed to find one on Amazon for 100$. It was size LARGE. No separate jacket size, pant length, waist size, just LARGE. I gambled on it and it paid off.

In other news, sometimes you need to do some fish-out-of-water stuff. I find the contrast between Shower Spaghetti DT and Hollywood DT to be entertaining.

Andrew Wyman
Andrew Wyman
7 months ago

I understand why David was there. Because the event has CAR in it’s name, he was confused and wandered in.

PresterJohn
PresterJohn
7 months ago

Speaking of Trade In Tuesday….when are we getting more episodes of the Oscar-nominated program??

10001010
10001010
7 months ago

Wait, David’s still alive? He survived the RaptorRanger event? Hooray!

Also, Elise looks familiar, she looks just like one of the buttons on my phone.

A. Barth
A. Barth
7 months ago

From now on, everything you do is Für Elise. 🙂

Given that lots of people there had made interesting sartorial choices, what if you started wearing a set of posh driving gloves to such events?

They would cover your hands and would be tied, at least tangentially, to your profession. (Autopian branding optional) And being driving gloves they would likely be made of thin material so you would still be able to drive a knife and fork, manipulate finger food, and hold stemware.

PS Congratulations on the Oscar nomination! 😉

Last edited 7 months ago by A. Barth
Icouldntfindaclevername
Icouldntfindaclevername
7 months ago

I’m glad you 2 are having fun!!

Mr. Canoehead
Mr. Canoehead
7 months ago

When one of my closest friends got married, we were summoned to his mother’s house the morning of the wedding where our hands were inspected for cleanliness and we were told in no uncertain terms that if we worked on cars between then and the afternoon wedding, she would kill us.

Dr Buford
Dr Buford
7 months ago
Reply to  Mr. Canoehead

I’ve received the same lecture at both of my weddings ????

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
7 months ago
Reply to  Mr. Canoehead

At my actual ( legal: not the show my wife put on for relatives) wedding, I did have greasy fingernails: had been up late the night before changing trans fluid & filter in the baby car I’d had to buy. Also barefoot, shorts, tie-tied tshirt—and I had a beer in my hand

Sklooner
Sklooner
7 months ago
Reply to  Mr. Canoehead

Friend got married in northern Alberta, I was the only one in a suit including the wedding party but I probably still had dirt under my nails

Usernametaken
Usernametaken
7 months ago
Reply to  Sklooner

Pressed black Wranglers are for weddings if you’re in the wedding party, funerals and the Pope

JerryLH3
JerryLH3
7 months ago

Watching old David continually collide with new David is such an amazing thing.

Arrest-me Red
Arrest-me Red
7 months ago

She looks happy. 🙂 Good job on the path to LA life.

Tbird
Tbird
7 months ago

I think Elise is a perfect name, elegant, refined, good on the curves, auto related and will leave you crying in the end.

I truly wish you best of luck and accolades. I know major life change is not easy and you really seem the better for it. I think Detroit was holding you back. Congratulations.

Tbird
Tbird
7 months ago
Reply to  Tbird

In my late 40’s I still wrench, but it is on my terms now, not the cars. I would not trade family.

Last edited 7 months ago by Tbird
Chris Stevenson
Chris Stevenson
7 months ago
Reply to  Tbird

Elise is a great name. Somehow, I’ve dated 4 women named Elise.

Jonathan Hendry
Jonathan Hendry
7 months ago
Reply to  Tbird

Just DO NOT joke about “adding lightness”

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
7 months ago

Well, you wore a black suit, so the oil stains at least color coordinated

Mr. Asa
Mr. Asa
7 months ago

The more important question that results in this is: what did Elise think of your dirty hands?

Drew
Drew
7 months ago
Reply to  Mr. Asa

I’d say that she should know to expect it from David, but this is new Hollywood David, so it’s a good question.

AlterId
AlterId
7 months ago
Reply to  Drew

Since I’ve assumed she bought her place in Santa Monica with profits made shorting stock in Rustoleum, Liquid Wrench and the like before it became known on Wall Street that David was moving to Los Angeles, I’m guessing she’s okay with it.

Drew
Drew
7 months ago

How I Got Into A Fancy Oscar Party With Hands Covered In My Jeep’s Engine Oil (NEEDS TOP)

David, if you’re looking for a top, this may not be the best place to be searching.

But I am glad to see you taking in some sort of culture that isn’t car culture. Maybe you’ll even recognize some sort of popular media soon!

Last edited 7 months ago by Drew
AssMatt
AssMatt
7 months ago
Reply to  Drew

Surely Elise dropped that in there, as in “You need to stop, we’ll be late.”

AlterId
AlterId
7 months ago
Reply to  Drew

…this may not be the best place to be searching.

An Oscar part most definitely is not the place to look for one, but he’s got a girlfriend anyway.

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