Home » I Love Windshield Wipers: Here Are My Favorites

I Love Windshield Wipers: Here Are My Favorites

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Greetings fellow weird car enthusiasts. Last week, I brought you one of my weird car hyper-fixations: Korean brake lights. Today, we are moving to the front of the vehicle and will be discussing windshield wipers. 

These dancing little guys are the true underdogs of our cars. Without them, we wouldn’t be driving anywhere. We would all be crashed in a ditch somewhere off some major interstate in the middle of nowhere because our windshields were full of fog, rain, and snow. 

Vidframe Min Top
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Let’s give our wipers a round of applause. They work hard for us to read silly bumper stickers like “my infant ran the NYC marathon” on the back of a dented Toyota Sienna. They allow us to see the beauty of the roads, like dense traffic full of Teslas on the 405. I feel like they deserve some recognition, eh? How about I jump into some of my modern favorites and you tell me some of yours? Deal? Once you’re done, head to Autozone and pick up some new blades for your wipers. They’ve earned it.

FJ Cruiser

Toyota Fj Cruiser Us Car Sales Statistics

Toyota

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Oh, man. When I think windshield wipers, I think FJ. Three of them to be exact. Why three? With a steep, vertical windshield, two wipers of small-blade length are insufficient in wiping away moisture. Toyota was smart and stuck on an extra one for three identical wipers lined up along the dash. Therefore, they work as a team in clearing away mud after off-roading in a Macy’s parking lot. How sweet! If you ever buy an FJ, prepare to put aside $8 for an extra blade when you change them once a year. Other than that, wipe away, FJ wiper trio!

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[Editor’s Note: I’d feel remiss if we didn’t at least mention the FJ’s tri-wiper pioneer, the MGB, which surprisingly has a windshield of similar proportions, just scaled down a lot:

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Don’t forget your elders, FJ. – JT]

Ford Escape

Escape

Ford

The second-generation Ford Escape is not particularly noteworthy. It’s got lackluster performance and a plethora of transmission problems. When I spent a summer working at a Ford dealership, I probably drove about 5 of these with bad transmissions. Yikes. However, Ford did implement one creative element onto the Escape: the windshield wipers. The Ford Escape had two wiper arms of identical length that would rest on top of each other in the center of the dashboard. When in use, they would come out one at a time, wiping away on their respective sides of the windshield. It’s seriously genius! Much more windshield area is covered when done like this. I simply do not know why more cars don’t have this. It’s a game-changer and one that is safe! 

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Mini Clubman

Mini

Mini

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Modern Minis are full of quirks. The interior has a unique center dash speedometer. The exterior pays homage to its British roots with the Union Jack turn signals, which are a flawed design, as Torch pointed out a few years back. Yet the Mini Clubman had a neat little party trick: barn doors! Barn doors are just cool. Interesting, unique, and functional (I think). Besides the Clubman, I can only recall the GMT800 Suburbans offering this. How does one design wipers for barn doors? GM simply did not include any on the Suburban. Mini, though, did. That’s right, each barn door has its own oppositely mounted wiper that meets in the middle. How cool! It’s almost as if they are giving each other a high five for successfully clearing a path away from the Mini Driver. Now they can see that tailgating Ram 1500 in their rearview mirror. Good job, Mini!

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Tell me about your wipers. Do you rip them off in agony when they don’t go at your desired speed? Do you not have any? Wipe away!

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Andrew
Andrew
8 months ago

I think you let the Mini’s rear wipers off the hook on how they always accurately dump the dirty washer fluid on their proud barn door gate handles everytime the owner uses it : D

Last edited 8 months ago by Andrew
anAutopian
anAutopian
1 year ago

Tesla Semi – 2 arms, 1 blade.

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