Just a couple of days ago, I had an opportunity to get a close-up look at Ferrari’s controversial new EV, the Luce. I realize that this may be the most controversial Ferrari in quite some time, and it sure seems like most of the response to the car is pretty negative. Maybe more than most.
My initial reactions upon seeing pictures of the Luce weren’t great, if I’m honest, so I was eager to give the car a fair shake in person. I saw it. That didn’t help.
Now, I realize that the Luce is a very fast and advanced EV, allegedly capable of going from 0-60 in about 2.5 seconds, with four motors pumping out 1,006 more horsepower than my Citroën 2CV, and the thing has rear-wheel steering and big ceramic disc brakes and an interior designed by ex-Apple designer Jonathan Ive and all sorts of exciting things, but the fact that it just doesn’t feel like a Ferrari kind of makes it all moot.
There’s the one I saw. That matte gray color isn’t really doing it any favors, because you could absolutely stick a KIA badge on there and lose it in a Target parking lot with cavalier ease.
Plus, these things cost over $600,000 – and that’s a bargain compared to the one that went for $40 million at auction, baffling everyone. I know this for a fact, because I actually talked to some people who were there, and, for the most part, they were indeed baffled:
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Well, most of them were baffled; there are charity-related reasons that make more sense, and, let’s be honest, getting in good with Ferrari the family/company, but overall, I think it’s safe to say that people don’t seem to have any desire for this car. And isn’t desire something that should be at the core of what a Ferrari is?
And, sure, Ferrari as a company has proven to be, to put it charitably, a pack of [redacted by editor], filing lawsuits against high-profile owners who commit such heinous crimes as, let’s see, painting a car they own the way they want to paint it.
Anyway, as bloodless and pointless as this thing feels in person, part of me wants to at least try to find the upside here; we’re vehemently pro-car here, after all, and if I decide to pick one of these up for $7500 in 2046 on TikTok Marketplace I want to at least feel a little good about my decision.
So with that in mind, I’m going to try to come up with ten positive statements about the look/feel of the Luce. I haven’t driven it yet, so I can’t comment on that, but I think I can at least try and find the chrome lining in this grim stormcloud of a car.
Here we go:
- There seems to be enough ground clearance so that driving over a speed bump at 15 mph won’t result in a repair bill large enough to rent a San Francisco apartment for six months, unlike most Ferraris.
- It’s a great object lesson for kids to understand complex concepts like disappointment and ennui
- If you wreck it, it’ll be pretty easy to get over it
- It’s perfect for wealthy introverts who always wanted to drive a Ferrari but hate attention
- Ideal getaway car for heists since it’s fast as hell and eyewitnesses will think it’s a Hyundai IONIQ something or maybe a Dodge Charger Daytona if they saw it from the front
- The design lets you fit in with all the cool kids in their Nissan Leafs. I realize this is similar to 5.
- At 21 cubic feet, it has the largest trunk ever in a Ferrari, the main reason that people buy Ferraris
- I forget what 8 was for
- The wiper blades look pretty easy to change, sitting there on those A-pillars
- The dashboard is kinda cool, with lots of physical buttons, but those turn signal buttons make me want to scream:
See? Lots of positives to this thing!
[Ed Note: My BMW i3S is more technologically advanced than this Ferrari. Almost looks as good, too! -DT]
It’s hardly the soul-crushing anonymous lump of suppository-shaped EV that cruel people are saying it is! Suppositories are actually way more sleek looking, after all.
Oh geez, I hadn’t noticed the wipers’ resting position. That is ridiculously awful.
Jonny Ive is such a hack. It seems only the apple cultists seem to adore him, thankfully, but sadly they’re an outspoken (in both speech and written word) bunch.
Ten, ten, ten, ten for everything, everything, everything, everything?
It just ain’t Ferrarish. Nissanish fersure.
Is there some secret plan in play to make Jason look exceptionally short with this video. Every shot in this video is filmed in such a manner as to make Jason look incredibly short, he presented as a munchkin like character rejected by central casting for a Wizard of Oz reboot, instead landing in this almost cartoon like interview role where his neck strained to look up into the eyes of the people being interviewed. Don’t get me wrong, he did a great job interviewing the people, but as a person who was not chosen to be interviewed for this video clip, I think my first question, even if not spoken out loud, would simply have been, “are you even tall enough to reach the pedals in the car you are asking me questions about?” Oh well, I digress as I have no room to speak being a “not tall” person myself.
Jason is 4’6″ but we don’t usually rub his nose in it…
Classic Torchinsky, excellent writing and humor. The unexpected Violent Femmes lyric for #8 was amazing. This is why I’m a member.
I hope every Luce owner has people pointing and laughing at them when they exit the vehicle. Total Douche Nugget mobile.
I knew that sounded familiar, just couldn’t place it this morning.
Cracking review, Sir. Word perfect. Nothing, apart from the badge, says that this is a Ferrari. It’s a dog’s breakfast of a car, a poor man’s world buffet with the blandest dishes from every continent laid out in front of you.
Every component part of that body is awful. The tail lights could have come from any one of a number of manufacturers, the tail itself is straight out of fat club, the profile is almost Polestaresque, and the front looks as though the designer got tired, or so sick of following the project leader’s instructions that he passed it over to his 5 year old son who plays with small plastic cars bought from Temu.
I didn’t want Ferrari to go down the EV line but to follow that path and stick this body on it completely ruins the marque for me. Ferrari is no longer a surveyor of beautiful, exquisitely styled and crafted ICE cars, it has bent to market trends in the most outrageous manner.
I didn’t want Lotus to go down the EV line either but at least they stayed true to form and produced something that can be best described as pretty, sleek and lightweight – ok the battery pack might weigh a ton but the car looks the business. Ferrari totally failed, not even the performance would make consider buying one, if I had the cash, because it’s not stand out when compared to the other EVs on the market. Hell, even my old Tesla Model 3 Performance did 0 – 60mph in 3.2 secs. When you compare the LUCE and the Model 3 there are so many similarities – 4 doors, big boot/trunk, 4WD and loads of tech but the Tesla is so much cheaper!
This has been argued about since the FF came out. Or the GT4C Lusso. Or the Purosangue. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a fan of the Luce, but lets not act like Ferrari hasn’t been doing this for well over a decade.
Ok, the GT4G Lusso isn’t to everyone’s taste but it still has it’s fans and the Purosangue is a bit of a dog’s dinner – Ferrari should never have entered the SUV market. However both cars still carry signs of Ferrari DNA in their styling while the LUCE looks like something from Little Tykes or the Early Learning Centre. Apart from the badge nothing about the Luce says Ferrari.