Home » I’m Renting Valtteri Bottas’s Ute And It’s Going To Be Awesome

I’m Renting Valtteri Bottas’s Ute And It’s Going To Be Awesome

Uber Carshare Valtteri Bottas' Aussie 'second' Car 0 39 Screenshot
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If you told me I’d be driving Valtteri Bottas’s car in a few weeks, I’d be freaking out. Not only because I’d be one of the handful of souls to ever drive a Formula 1 car, but because I don’t have the skills or the body to handle it. As it turns out, I will not be driving Bottas’s race car, but his second car. Thankfully for me, it’s an altogether less intimidating Holden ute.

It’s all down to a promotion for Uber CarShare in Australia. Corporate promotions are usually lame and uninspired, but this is a fun one that somehow slipped through the cracks. Uber built Valtteri a truly Australian vehicle, and now he’s renting it out to the public. Sounds expensive, right? Actually, no! “You can rent it for free, because I am very rich already,” says Valtteri in the ad. It’s good to hear he’s doing well.

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I saw the ad for this in the mid-afternoon, I chuckled to myself, and moved on with my day. Three hours later, Matt’s on the blower asking if Laurence or I could rent this thing. “Oh shit!” I thought to myself. “Why didn’t I think of that!?” I figured it’d take me a couple of seconds to dial it up on the Uber Carshare app. Thanks to Valtteri’s star power, though, it was a little more complicated.

Now, if you haven’t been on the Bottas hype boat the last few years, you might find this ad confusing. Here’s the deal. Bottas is in a relationship with Tiffany Cromwell, a South Australian professional cyclist. It’s given him a close connection with the country and he visits regularly. He’s even been to Adelaide, which most F1 drivers have forgotten about since 1995. He’s also adopted the local culture, too. He proudly sports a mullet, dons his budgie smugglers, and he’s even learned to stomach the poisonous local lager known as VB.

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In turn, Bottas’s ute is outfitted with lots of uniquely Aussie features. It’s got a bike rack, fishing rod holders, and roof racks, of course. But it’s also got thong storage, a pie warmer, and a shower on the back for washing off at the beach.

The Ultimate Second Car Infographic

I have some suspicions not all of these features will be on the car when I pick it up from Uber Carshare in a few weeks time. It would be hilarious trying to see past the clothesline on the road, for example. Regardless, the prospect of renting a bright blue Holden ute with a vague connection to an F1 driver has me excited. It got me rushing into the app just as Uber intended.

There was just one problem. Valtteri Bottas is a Very Famous Racing Driver as the ad suggests. That means his ute was in high demand right from the get-go.

Screenshot 20240321 083838 Uber Carshare

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I fumbled and fussed with the calendar but so many days were already blocked out! Aussies love a ute, especially when it’s free and has a vaguely Finnish connection. I persevered though, and after submitting a few times, I finally got a booking through. The stars had aligned. I would be driving the ute.

You might say that this is just a cold-hearted promotional effort and that Bottas has very little to do with it. To that, I say… yeah. You’re right. It’s not really his ute. But that’s him sitting in it, right in the ad! And it’s blue! And it’s fun! You don’t hate fun, do you?

Honestly, I’m gonna trip down to Melbourne, drive around in a bright-ass ute, and have a damn good day doing it. As a car journalist, these are what we call the good days. The ones where you’re not shackled to the laptop and the news cycle. The ones where you’re actually in a car, doing what you do best. This is why we get into this field!

I should state, too, that we’re in no way being paid for this by Uber. We just saw this ad and wanted a piece of the action. Sometimes you gotta let yourself enjoy things!

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Next month, you can expect a full review of Bottas’s second car. I’ll be driving it around suburban Melbourne, and maybe even out to the sticks if conditions permit. Most of all, I’m interested to see just what Uber managed to pack into this thing, or if all the goofy features were just for the TV spot. All I can say is I’m genuinely excited and ready to have a right old laugh.

Image credits: Uber Carshare

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Strangek
Strangek
26 days ago

Bottas is a bright spot in what looks to be a dull F1 season. His car/team sucks, but that’s not stopping him from enjoying life, and his mullet and mustache make me enjoy life just a little bit more too!

Der Foo
Der Foo
26 days ago

Google image search at work.

budgie smugglers

Pretty sure my network ID just got added to some company watch list.

Last edited 26 days ago by Der Foo
Scoutdude
Scoutdude
26 days ago

All cars in the US have a thong holder, even if it is rarely used, it also doubles as a rear view mirror.

R53forfun
R53forfun
26 days ago

This seems cool and all, except for the bit about The Autopian doing Uber’s bidding.

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
26 days ago

I don’t know who this Valtteri Bottas fellow is.
Never heard of him before.
Based on this brief introduction I can tell he’s got life right in his pocket.
Were I to meet him purchasing a beer in a pub I would happily call out it’s my shout.

Mr. Canoehead
Mr. Canoehead
26 days ago

He’s definitely in a better place these days. He used to be deadly dull and overly serious when he was trying to beat Lewis Hamilton on a weekly basis.

Chronometric
Chronometric
26 days ago

You kids enjoy it while yous got yer ute.

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
26 days ago
Reply to  Chronometric

The two utes?

Colin Greening
Colin Greening
26 days ago

I’m sorry your honor. The two *youths.*

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
27 days ago

Aren’t thongs and budgie smugglers basically the same thing? In the US at least?

Masterbuilder
Masterbuilder
26 days ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

I think that a budgie smuggler is a racing brief. A thong is a thong. Big difference.

My 0.02 Cents
My 0.02 Cents
26 days ago
Reply to  Masterbuilder

Thongs are flip flips in the land of Oz

Tinibone
Tinibone
26 days ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

In Australia things are footwear (ie flip flops)

Andreas8088
Andreas8088
26 days ago
Reply to  Tinibone

I mean, anything is footwear if you try hard enough.

Taco Shackleford
Taco Shackleford
27 days ago

I wonder how many tires this ute will go through being rented for free like this. Personally I’d try and use up all the tread I was given in my time with it.

Greg
Greg
27 days ago

Oh man if you did a local Melbournian Autopian meetup with this thing, I’d be there before you could say ‘budgie smugglers’.

I’m sure there are, what, three or four of us living here at least? =)

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
26 days ago
Reply to  Greg

A dozen. Maybe dozens.

Greg
Greg
26 days ago

A ute-load then!

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
26 days ago
Reply to  Greg

Depends on how many jump seats are bolted down in the bed of said ute I guess?

Last edited 26 days ago by Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Greg
Greg
26 days ago
Reply to  Lewin Day

Do ittttt 😀

EmotionalSupportBMW
EmotionalSupportBMW
27 days ago

Hopefully, it isn’t crushed and placed on the front lawn of Parliament due to hooning violation.

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
27 days ago

This sounds like a good time and I’m looking forward to the article. You should spend some time figuring out silly things to do in/with it. Lean in!

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
27 days ago

Well, it’s one for the money, two for the show
Three to get ready now go, cat, go
But don’t you set on my blue shade ute
Well you can do anything but stay off of my blue shade ute

You can burn my house, steal my guitar
Drink my liquor from an old fruit-jar
Do anything that you want to do
But uh-uh baby, lay off of my ute
But don’t you set on my blue shade ute
Well you can do anything but lay off of my blue shade ute

Go cat uh
Blue, blue shade ute oh baby
Blue, blue shade ute uh ha
Blue, blue shade ute oh baby
Blue, blue shade ute
You do anything but stay off of my blue shade ute

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
26 days ago
Reply to  Lewin Day

Meter is my métier.

Chronometric
Chronometric
26 days ago
Reply to  Canopysaurus

My meter is meatier.

Geoff Tuck
Geoff Tuck
27 days ago

Can’t wait for the story!! Hopefully you can take it down to Frankston and do a couple of “blockies” Ha ha

NosrednaNod
NosrednaNod
27 days ago

I am sure you will look great in the outfit. #picoritdidnothappen

Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Amberturnsignalsarebetter
26 days ago
Reply to  Lewin Day

Even if they’re Valtteri Bottas’ second-hand budgie smugglers, they’re still second-hand budgie smugglers. I don’t think I could do it.

Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Amberturnsignalsarebetter
26 days ago

I suppose you could launder them, hang them to dry for a few miles and then sterilize them in the pie warmer, but still…

Last edited 26 days ago by Amberturnsignalsarebetter
NosrednaNod
NosrednaNod
22 days ago

I think when you are wearing second-hand budgie smugglers you have “hit rock bottom”.

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