Home » It’s Jensen Interceptor Hunting Season, Finally: Cold Start

It’s Jensen Interceptor Hunting Season, Finally: Cold Start

Cs Jensen1
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Shhhh. Just just be quiet for a second, here. Do you see what I see? A majestic Jensen Interceptor just rolled up, probably looking for petroleum deposits in the topsoil to feed on. If we just stay niiiiiiice and quiet here and don’t move, it won’t see us, even though I’m just standing out here in the middle of the lawn. But, you see, the Jensen can’t really see me unless I move. That’s how they work– they’re predators, you see. I just need to stay nice and still, raise this rifle really slowly, and see if I can’t get a shot right into the intake manifold.

Maybe I can get it in the radiator, and then we can chase it down until it overheats, which shouldn’t take too long. This is a beautiful one! The front bumper is going to look so good mounted above the leather sofa in my trophy room!

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Hey, if you help me gut it and strip it down after I make the kill, you can take home the back seats! I already have some from last year’s Jensen hunt, but look at these things:

Cs Jensen2

You don’t sit on them, you sit in them! I’ll even let you tell people you made the kill! That’ll be cool, right!

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Now shhh, calm down or you’ll scare it off.

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Myk El
Myk El
10 months ago

I love these things.

Dodsworth
Dodsworth
10 months ago

Beautiful plumage. But it’s bereft of life.

Col Lingus
Col Lingus
10 months ago

So it looks like the former Prince, (now KING?) is gonna put that thing out of it’s misery. Works for me. I’d buy the seat that Diana sat in though. Sniff, sniff.

Jack Beckman
Jack Beckman
10 months ago

Truly the Last of the V8 Interceptors.

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
10 months ago

Come now, if you saw one of these guys, you’d grab a shotgun too!!

https://www.reddit.com/r/TopGear/comments/2ya9sq/the_interceptors/

[sigh, will we ever be able to post pictures :^( ]

Rusty S Trusty
Rusty S Trusty
10 months ago

“Why are you loitering in front of my estate and taking photographs?”

“I’m sorry sir, this is just where it stopped. You don’t happen to have a spare Lucas ignition coil do you?”

Matthew Zimmermann
Matthew Zimmermann
10 months ago

In college I could have bought a runner for $4100 and I fucking didn’t. But 4 large back then (2010) when I was broke was a lot of quiche.

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
10 months ago

Wait don’t shoot. It’s just injured. Somebody call Stephen Gossin.
He can catch it, bring it to his auto rescue and will release it back into the wild after it has been fully rehabilitated.

Bizness Comma Nunya
Bizness Comma Nunya
10 months ago

I always kinda liked these. Big block mopar power, 727 torquflites, probably a mountain of electrical issues but oh well… at least you can get a new water pump at Napa.

Always thought it was kind of a shame that we never got the AWD version of the Interceptor in the U.S. that was done by FF (also had ABS). But apparently the design only worked for RHD vehicles… which really limited it’s success.

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
10 months ago

Least you could have done was found one in Hunter Green.

Paul E
Paul E
10 months ago

You’d think they’re easy targets, since they play dead so much of the time, but when they’re running, they’re hard to catch. Perhaps they’re the opossums of the automotive world: Falls asleep at home, gets killed on the road?

James Wallace
James Wallace
10 months ago

Just finished up at UCLA and getting ready to leave on Pee Wee’s big adventure. Pulled into the place we named “Cheap Gas” on Santa Monica Blvd. We are filling up, and who pulls into the pump next to us? John DeLorean. He is just finishing up his big fall from grace, cocaine adventures and all. He is pumping gas into a Jensen Interceptor, not a DeLorean, but a Jensen Interceptor. He finishes up before us and takes off in a cloud of blue smoke. I suppose besides being a rust magnet, it burned a lot of oil as well.

Erik Hancock
Erik Hancock
10 months ago

FYI – the Interceptor appears to be hiding in a landscaping feature known as a “ha-ha.” Named for the exclamation one utters upon discovering it (or falling into it), the ha-ha is a feature of grand estates where sheep or other grazers were used to keep the lawn manicured. These are essentially sloped ditches with a short retaining wall that helps keep the animals away from the house while giving Lord Fancytrousers the illusion of an unbroken lawn. It is also, apparently, useful at concealing feral Interceptors. And thats… a landscape fact!

Data
Data
10 months ago
Reply to  Erik Hancock

Since this sounds like a deranged Torch post, I felt compelled to Google it. Apparently it is 100% true; even the feral Interceptors.

Maymar
Maymar
10 months ago
Reply to  Erik Hancock

There’s a town in Quebec called Saint-Louis-du-Ha!-Ha! (with the exclamation marks). I don’t think anyone there drives a Jensen Interceptor.

Rapgomi
Rapgomi
10 months ago
Reply to  Erik Hancock

The “ha-ha” created evolutionary pressures that led the Jensen Interceptor to evolve into the Jensen FF. While the FF could overcome the “ha-ha”, it appeared too late on the scene to save the breed. Tragically, the petroleum deposits it so desperately needed had already been fed on by lesser beasts.

Phuzz
Phuzz
10 months ago
Reply to  Erik Hancock

The other place you’re likely to see a haha is at a zoo, so you can see the animals without a fence in the way.

Cuzn Ed
Cuzn Ed
10 months ago

Yesterday’s Pacer is not well served by being placed in such close temporal proximity to this Interceptor.
That big bubble of a wraparound fastback window looks soooo much better on the Interceptor than on the Pacer.
Gorgeous car.

That guy
That guy
10 months ago

Silly man, its wabbit season

Icouldntfindaclevername
Icouldntfindaclevername
10 months ago

It looks brand new, maybe that chap is protecting it?

IRegertNothing, Esq.
IRegertNothing, Esq.
10 months ago

And as Torch steadies his shotgun on the Jensen, a second Jensen emerges through the shrubbery from his side. He looks at it with a mix of terror and respect.

“Clever girl…”

James Davidson
James Davidson
10 months ago

Jurassic Park!

Data
Data
10 months ago

Jason got run over by a Jensen
Standing on the fron lawn in NC
You can say there’s no such thing as Christine,
But as for me and Autopia, we believe

He’d inhaled too much lead dust
And we’d begged him not to go
But he forgot his trusty chainsaw,
And he staggered out the door onto the lawn

When we found him Friday morning,
At the scene of the attack
He had oil stains on his forehead
And incriminating tire marks on his back

That guy
That guy
10 months ago
Reply to  Data

COTD

My Goat Ate My Homework
My Goat Ate My Homework
10 months ago

Do you really need to call attention to this storied tradition? Last thing we need is attention from People for the Ethical Treatment of Automobiles.

AlienProbe
AlienProbe
10 months ago

Most of us here are members of PETAuto. Jason’s shotgun and chainsaw shenanigans have gone on long enough. We are coming to the defense of these harmless vehicles. His gun and power tool licenses shall be voided soon.

Brandon Forbes
Brandon Forbes
10 months ago
Reply to  AlienProbe

Psh. This is ‘MURICA!!!! We don’t need no gosh darned gun licenses!

My Goat Ate My Homework
My Goat Ate My Homework
10 months ago
Reply to  AlienProbe

Come now, other than his clear penchant for supple Interceptor seats he seems to otherwise source responsibly from already deceased specimens. Can you give him a pass just this once?

Also, you reminded me… my impact gun license expires next month.

Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Phantom Pedal Syndrome
10 months ago
Reply to  AlienProbe

And yet we all hunt them on a near daily basis. Oh the hypocrisy.

Last edited 10 months ago by Phantom Pedal Syndrome
Rollin Hand
Rollin Hand
10 months ago

Are we sure the tweed-jacketed fellow is hunting it? Maybe he saw frame rot, and is going to put it out of its misery, keeping a stiff upper lip as a single tear rolls down his cheek.

SuperNova
SuperNova
10 months ago

I shot a Jensen in my pyjamas once…

Last Pants
Last Pants
10 months ago
Reply to  SuperNova

How did it get in there?

Data
Data
10 months ago
Reply to  Last Pants

With abundant horsepower.

Drew
Drew
10 months ago

How were you able to draw tags two years in a row? Are you a rich elitist snob with connections? I’ve been trying to get an Interceptor tag for years! I got a CV8 tag one time, but that’s it.

Silent But Deadly
Silent But Deadly
10 months ago

I’m just going to stand here. It’ll rust sufficiently in the few seconds it waits while wondering who’s about that when I kick it in the rockers…the seats will just fall out of the disintegrating carapace. Wash the juices off and install them in your garage. The rest can fertilise the vegetable garden…

Flyingstitch
Flyingstitch
10 months ago

I suppose you could try to hit the fuse box, but this being British, it wouldn’t be sporting. It’s already dead tissue.

Toecutter
Toecutter
10 months ago
Reply to  Flyingstitch

One could always go for the quick kill if it decides to charge: the gas tank.

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
10 months ago

Thing is, there was a lot of shooting, extensive shooting up close…but never any blood. And a karate expert.

James Davidson
James Davidson
10 months ago

It’s early in the day, so perhaps this insanity should be overlooked. Who doesn’t like a nice, clean Jensen Interceptor? Just don’t shoot at it!

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