Meet The Meat Wagon: Cold Start

Cs Meatwagon

That’s kind of an amazing and unsettling picture, isn’t it? Hard to imagine a modern SUV being advertised with a big chunk of raw meat in the back, but that’s what Ford of Europe chose to do in the mid ’60s to sell station wagons. Look at that white tray-like plastic wagon bedliner back there, too! Looks very hose-out-able, ideal when you’re hauling around 4/7ths of a cow.

Do I find this to be a striking image on some subconscious level because it’s Yom Kippur and I’m fasting and part of my brain has locked onto that massive cache of protein? But I’ve only been fasting like 6 hours? And I don’t think I’d want to eat a crapton of raw meat out of a plastic tray in the back of a European Ford wagon? Even if I wasn’t fasting?

So, I’ll be out today to do all the atoning I need to do which is uncomfortably substantial. I hope I haven’t wronged any of you this past year, but if so, my apologies. I’ll try not to do it again.

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22 Responses

  1. With the soft springs on such a thing (I grew up with old european Ford estates), the meat juices are going to run down into the spare wheel well, when you accelerate and cause all kinds of bad smells and corrosion. Yuck.

    By the way the estates always sucked in exhaust gasses, due to the bad turbulence, if the sealing strips were old or the hatch was not closed properly, so this scenario could also lead to some smoked meat. Overcooked and served a place where everything smelled like a coalmine anyway, nobody would probably notice.

  2. Jason, you never wronged me but as someone who orders janitorial supplies at work, I think we did get our wires crossed once back when Colbert was running 1-800-OOPS-JEW off the same number and switchboard as 1-800-MOPS-KEY.

      1. Technically it looks to be the same meat. Different (year model) wagon though.

        Funny how so many of the things that have been discussed come up over and over, in this case the old-school method of photoshop that was talked about a couple (several? many? I don’t know, time has no meaning anymore) months back

    1. Huh…I said “feasting” instead of “fasting”. Where the hell is my mind? I guess it’s in the back of that Ford, devouring whatever animal donated its muscle to the Body Worlds exhibit on display there.

  3. Torch you do know “fasting” doesn’t mean “don’t eat” right?

    It means “be quicker”.

    Celebrate Yom Kippur Autotopian style: Get thyne self to the track! And pick up a megaburger with a basket of fries on the way!

  4. What’s even stranger is that surely those must be model cuts rather than real ones, perhaps intended for use as teaching aids at an agricultural school or something. Otherwise, why isn’t there blood everywhere? Nobody transports raw meat without packaging, all just out in the open like that, because it makes a nasty mess. So they must be like, plaster casts or something.

    Of course, they could have just been drawn in there as a stand-in for a human corpse.

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